So, last night on Dancing With the Stars, we get four dances never done before on this show. The hustle, jitterbug, west coast swing, and salsa.

Salsa and swing are probably the closest cousins, with jitterbug close to the jive and the hustle needing to be outlawed permanently from every televised dance show until the end of time. Just sayin. And remember how they used to show a clip of two of the pros doing any new dance that came along, so we would know what to look for? What happened to that? It would have been tremendously helpful in this case. Uncle Len’s blathering didn’t explain anything. Show me.

And then, one dance in, and the judges slammed like they could hardly wait to slam Lacey for not featuring her partner more in their west coast swing. She was the only pro who had any knowledge of the dance she was teaching this week, but did they give her ANY kudos for having taught dances for the past four weeks that she didn’t know? No. Oh, the poor pros this week….having to teach what they didn’t know (which begs the question of why on earth are we doing this?) and we’re supposed to feel all sorry for them. But apparently Lacey gets no props for doing that every week. The one week where she knows what she’s doing, and SLAP. Granted, she did feature herself too much, but WCS is a bitch to learn and Lance, frankly, ain’t all that and a bag of ballroom, so I thought she did what MANY of her pro coworkers have done in the past, and do the “potted plant” choreo, where the pro plants the celeb, more or less, and dances circles around them. Happens ALL the time. And a few have been called out for it (Edyta, probably, most notably) but to give L/L the same score as Cloris and Corky? Seriously? Why have her be a pro on the show if it’s all about the hate? It felt like they couldn’t wait to slap at her. Whatever. I enjoyed the edgy music, and wish it had been a better routine, but I otherwise enjoyed it. A hell of a lot more than some of the others, that’s for sure. At least they bring it, and really sell it, unlike a few others. (See: Toni. Susan.)

It was such a buzz kill for what should have been a fun new night, and you could see the whole audience (who LIKED L/L’s dance, btw and cheered like mad) had gone totally dormant with such a big smackdown. Then Toni was meh and Susan just eh, so by the time Big Poppa hit the floor, we were ready for some F-U-N. I think the judges got that, too.

So, most fun dance of the night for me? Warren/Kym’s hustle, hands down. (Yes, the dance should be banned from competition, but dang he’s having fun out there. I grinned the whole time.) First one where my finger wasn’t twitching all over the fast forward button the whole time.

Best choreo (that she totally deserved props for and didn’t get) Cheryl/Maurice’s salsa. Fantastic job.

Definitely entertaining: Derek/Brooke and Julianne/Cody’s jitterbug. While Derek’s was a better routine, the fact that Julianne somehow managed to get the slender Cody to toss her and flip her all over the place like a guy twice his size, deserved major props as well.

Just okay but failing to really bring the joy: Toni/Alec’s West Coast Swing. (and yet, better scores than L/L….) Susan/Tony. He does handle her like a fragile doll, because she basically is. I can’t see her ever just cutting loose and letting her hair down, so to speak. Not her style. Cloris and Corky had fun, and I appreciate that she is working her 82 year old ass off. I do. For her own personal journey, this has to be such a highlight, and she’s really giving it all she has, to get what she can get out of it. For that alone, I’d send Susan home first. (Not that Susan isn’t trying, but she’s got other work to do…)

And, seriously, the skanky ho comment by Cloris? I rolled. Actually, it’s Corky who bugs the crap out of me with all the mugging and trying to clown with Cloris. Leave Cloris alone. She’s funny. Not so much with you.

Going home: probably Cloris. Who should go home? If it was me, Susan this week. Encore performance? Cheryl/Maurice, just because it was such a solid, well performed routine by both. But I’d be perfectly happy to see Kym and Big Poppa hustle again. Just no jitterbug repeats, twice with those two was fun, and enough, although you know that’s where we’re headed since they got the biggest scores. Derek’s hair deserves a score all to itself. It was pretty funny.

So, tonight we supposedly get the most complex dance routine ever attempted on this show to celebrate Macy’s big birthday. Mostly I’m looking forward to the Brian Setzer orchestra, who is the musical guest. And we’d better get a pro performance! We haven’t had our own pros doing much on results night and I miss that a lot.

Then, next week, the remaining couples have to do a solo dance, and a group dance. And the group dance? Old school hip hop. So….have we completely abandoned this as a ballroom dancing show now? It’s official? Of course, that said….I cannot WAIT to see Cloris do hip hop. Just sayin.

What did you think? Who’d ya love, who didn’t float your boat? Dish already!

Tags: Writing //