So, it was iTunes Download night on American Idol, which would lead one to believe that the 9 singers left would surely rock the stage as they could finally sing something current. Yeah, well…not so much, really with that. In fact, it was easily the worst night since early audition rounds. Of course, I suspect that “iTunes Download Night” actually translates to “Here are the 14 songs we got cleared, pick one” Night, but that might just be me. And yet, honestly, what other reason could there be for Adam singing Play That Funky Music White Boy? And for the judges to not call that one indulgent? I mean, Ring of Fire I thought was a great example of artistry, same with Tracks of My Tears. But that? Pure indulgence/showmanship/check-out-my-range again stuff.

Sadly, it was still possibly the most entertaining performance of the night.

For me, this is how it broke down:

Scott sang Billy Joel which was perfect for him. His best performance of the season. And yet…still Scott. He’s bottom three for me. Even with last night’s trainwreck.

Danny sang Rascal Flatts and I get it, with Gokey, I do. But he does absolutely zero for me. He’s like a cruise ship singer. Clearly invested in performing his song and entertaining enough while you watch him….then completely forgettable five seconds later. (Even singing Wild Cherry, you can’t say that about Adam.) I can’t ever see myself wanting to download this guy. Also, that song? A bit pandering to the whole emotional “I’m a widower” thing again, just when we thought you might step back. Silly wabbit, what was I thinking?

Matt sings The Fray, which, right there should have been warning enough. It was just all over the place flat and sharp and essentially awful, which bites because he should be in this competition longer than a handful of others (Megan, Scott…) but given his bottom three placement last week, I worry.

Lil…wow, you know for a woman with a set of pipes, she manages to screw it up every week. I thought that sounded horrible. I mean, aside from the fact that it was dated and middle aged, I didn’t really think she sang it well. Soooo many other things she could have done to be current. I haven’t loved her since she sang Mary J Blige. Bring it back, Lil. It’s a good thing her kids were freaking adorable. Hugging Randy? How sweet was that? Hope it bought her a few votes. (Oh, and Lil, check the history of the songs you go with…stop singing things other Idols have sung before you…you know, unless you can’t, because that’s all they have on the approved list. Just sayin.)

Then there was Anoop, who after two good weeks, decides to do….Usher. I know. Seriously with this guy, and the whole crank-face “I’m trying to show you who I am” after the judges are basically saying “then be someone else, because this? Not good.” is not entertaining me, either. Sorry, Anoop.

Alison. Alison, Alison, Alison. I really thought she was going to blow that song out da’ park. But…no. First, the Bam Bam/Pebbles hairdo and the outfit that was layered on top of layered from some forgotten closet deep on some 80’s movie set…yikes. Squared. But, am I the only one who thought that sounded like total crap? It was just…so not good. It never got off the ground for me and she was always somewhere the music and notes weren’t. So good last week. So not, this week.

We’ve discussed Adam elsewhere and hey, it was fun to watch and not immediately forgettable, but my least fave from him as yet, as it did nothing for the library of music he was building for me. But hey, why not just laugh in the face of the show and their “iTunes Download Week…From These 12 Songs” I respect the anarchy of that choice.

And lastly, Kute Kris gets the pimp spot and I’ve discovered that I can no longer watch him sing. Which is a shame as he’s adorable. But man, those twisty rubber lip sideways singing out the side of your mouth faces are so horribly distracting to me, that I just look elsewhere and enjoy the performance with sound only. And, from that perspective, he was probably the only one who did anything with what the show/theme was supposed to be about last night. And he did a good job with it, especially with a song that we’ve heard ninety frillion times. But that’s my point….a song we’ve heard ninety frillion times on the night when it’s all about being current? You can’t make me want to buy that song ever again, even with the nice job you did with it. Still, earned the pimp spot. Best of the night. But then, that’s kind of damning with faint praise, given what came before.

Yes, I am well aware I forgot Megan Joy. Would that we could all forget Megan Joy. My ears, they still bleed. I refuse to discuss her as if she was an actual contestant. The ego of the whole “my fans love me” statement? Made whatever part of her that wasn’t dead to me, dead to me. If there were any such parts. Which? There were not.

Tonight we learn who goes home… We all know who gets my vote. Scott should be in the bottom with her, and I suspect Matt will be there, too. For the ego statement alone, I hope she’s booted and booted hard. But I’ll be okay if it’s Scott. He needs to be done now.

So…on to Dancing With the Stars. If only Samantha had lost alllll of her voice so we wouldn’ have had to hear her at all, but not all prayers can be answered.

Two stars go home and there was no suspense really. Both Steves and Holly landed in the bottom, and we lost a Steve and a Playmate. Works for me. Buh bye, Woz and Holly.

What also worked for me? The pro dance numbers last night. Louis!! Enjoyed the Motown medley once I got used to the OTT backup singer moves. But also, yowza that dance they did to musical guest, Kevin Rudolf? Whooo. And dayum. Had to watch that twice. With something cold to drink. Me likey.

And, if prayers can be answered, they will hire Artem (he of the vest and very naked chest in that pro paso) as a pro next season. Artem…Dmitry….Maks. Could be a verrrrrry good season. Who cares who the stars are?

Thanks, also, for explaining exactly how the scoring works. Not all that complicated, as it turns out. And, tonight? It actually worked.

Also, there was no dance off (thank you! When they dance that bad, watching twice, bad idea.) Instead we got treated to Cheryl and Gilles’ tango again, and that? Was made of yum. And sex. Which is a combination all dancers should strive for at all times. I say that, of course, now that Woz is gone.

I really enjoyed watching Cheryl and Tony in the Motown dance last night, too. They are so much happier this season, doing well, and it shows in both their pro/am performances and their all pro performances. So much more energy and joy in their performances. Looking forward to next week as we’re getting closer to an even playing field.

Don’t forget to enter this week’s free stuff contest! See Monday’s blog post for details.

Tags: Writing //