I should just tell you right off the bat that you might as well join me in the shallow end of the pool as that is where I’ll be residing during this recap. And, when they get to Kara’s song? Boy are you gonna thank me. Just sayin.

So, American Idol, the final two sing, and do their fan base proud. I can’t imagine anyone changing ponies at this point in the race, but given I like both of these guys, it made for a very enjoyable night. Well, 2/3 of one anyway. Can’t blame the contestants for that, though, can we? (Kara.)

Adam does Mad World in a trenchcoat and a face that will haunt dreams. In a very good way. Loved it then, loved it now. Plus trench coat equals massive win on my Shallow End of Pool scale. Hottt. (And I don’t even get the whole Twilight vampire thing. At all. But he could make me want to try.)

Kris does Ain’tNo Sunshine and it’s finale-good, my friends. So it won’t find it’s way onto my iPod playlist, but I really loved how he performed it. My fave of the year from him.

Round 1 - a draw for me. Well, that’s a lie. Trenchcoat trumps piano. Sorry. Really, there’s room down here. Join us.

Next Adam does Change is Gonna Come and this was his highlight tonight. l loved the song, loved the arrangement, but…why yes, mostly I loved the suit. Seriously, the boy knows costuming. This shocks no one, but brings me great joy. Plus the singing. Made of win, again, that guy.

Kris gets What’s Going On, and goes on with it. Nice, acoustic-y arrangment, totally in his wheelhouse and very enjoyable in a get-up-and-get-a-snack-while-listening-to-it-in-the-background kind of way. Of course, if that shirt had been a bit more snug, so would have my seat been on my couch. Just sayin. We have adult beverages with umbrellas down at our end of the pool. And care little about anything but the eye candy.

But the ear candy was pretty darn good too through two rounds. I gave both squarely to Adam, though concede that Kris gave it a pure run in Round 1.

Then they got to Round 3. And the predictably crapstastic song that is the coronation single. Only this year we race past craptastic right into a giant wall of epic fail that tops all the Inside My Heaven’s that have dared tried to fail before it. Wow. Kara. Shame on you.

However, show of hands on how many breathed a MASSIVE sigh of relief, after being forced to endure the first chorus of that dreck, that Gokey was not on stage tonight. I know! Although….maybe he’d have won and then he’d have to record that crap. Hmm……..

But I tuned out the moment the camera panned down anyway. Because, honestly, who listens to crap when you can look at snakeskin pants? Snakeskin. Pants. Seriously. If they won’t let him tinker with the crapfest of fail, then pull out the distraction that is snakeskin pants.

Snakeskin. Pants.

That + Trench Coat? Plus, good singing. And umbrella drinks. Possibly 2/3 of the best finale ever.

How will it end? I’d still say Adam, but given who won DWTS this evening, who the hell knows? At least I’d be more forgiving of a Kris win, because then we could cash in a Kris Koupon (I know…awwww) and he’d have to sing that crap again AND record it for his first single, leaving Adam to fly to Mars and come back with music we’ve never even heard of before. But then Melissa came in third and Gilles had 1% less fans, and Shawn wins Dancing With the Stars, dogs and cats, living together, mountains being climbed, hurricanes turning into journeys and roads endlessly traveling somewhere….and I have no idea. But though I liked all three DWTS finalists, they got all three slots wrong in my book. Sorry, Gilles.

Still…rewind. Mad World. Trench Coat. Change is Gonna Come. Snakeskin. Pants. All in all, not a bad evening.

Also, you can keep your pansy umbrella drinks as it turns out. This calls for the hard stuff. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream all around!

Now it’s your turn. Who wins? Are your ears still bleeding from hurricane mountain treks off journeys into life, sung in one giant long sentence in a key that shouldn’t be allowed to stay on the scale, while never taking a single breath? Mine, too. What did you think of the Shawn win?

And - favorite new commercials? The ABC shows all under one roof. Most especially when Rob Lowe crushes Ty Pennington’s megaphone thingie. Enough with that. Ha. Great campaign heading into the off season.

But what is this is the season for? DISH!!

Tags: Writing //