I had to use it. Best. Quote. Ever. from a reality show. And that is saying something. Every year I’m boggled by the fameseekers, golddiggers and nutjobs — honestly, if I had a dime for every time the words “what WAS she thinking” went floating through my mind, I’d be living on a tropical island, drinking something with an umbrella in it, while gazing longingly at Lance, my personal cabana boy. But I digress.

Last night, Allie G - Dr. Allie G - took the top prize for Most Lacking in Self Awareness Ever. (And I am being kind here.) She begins by announcing to her fellow combatants, er, contestants, that “my eggs are rotting” and that she’s on track to find a daddy for her unborn children. Okay, so maybe you can excuse that as TMI during Girl Chat Happy Hour. But what woman in her right mind tells a man within five seconds of meeting him that she is in her “reproductive phase” and doesn’t expect him to run screaming into the Parisian night? How can someone with the intellect required to obtain a medical degree be so incredibly lacking in self awareness as to then assume that the ensuing rejection was a result of his being too intimidated by her degree and intelligence? Even after she demands to know his reasons and his one and only reason was: “I’m not in my reproductive phase right now.” She then, while the other rejectees look on in horror and amazement, continues her harangue outside (where she is ostensibly waiting for her ride to the first plane the hell out of there) with a poor production assistant who can’t stuff her in a taxi fast enough.

Oh, the entertainment. I couldn’t help but wonder at the discomfort level being experienced by whomever had the misfortune of watching the airing of last nights episode with her. Boy, I bet THAT was a fun party.

So…who’s In and who’s Out. First off, who approved of choosing so many barely 20-somethings for a guy who is 30 something? Don’t they know 30 is the new 25? I mean, at 45, I was feeling positively ancient. (And we won’t even talk about my eggs.) I had no problem dismissing 13 women right off. I could have easily increased that number by another 5 with no qualms. Who I liked? I wasn’t wowed by any of them. (Dr. Travis, however, different story. Me likey the cute doctor. Great bedside manner. He can make a house call here ANYtime he wants.) The consensus between me and my also single sister: We tentatively approved of Shiloh, Susan, Moana, Cole and Elizabeth. The ones we were meh about: Sarah, Jennifer, Jehan, and Sarah B. And the “WHAT was he thinking” award winners: Yvonne, Kristen, Sarah B (wicked, eh? Let’s Party!) and Tara (who appeared to have started her own personal party back in the limo.) Time will tell how horrifically we’ve misjudged them. And you know we have.

First night episode grade: B
Dr Travis/Bachelor approval rating: 9 out of 10. (and are my sister and I the only ones who got a distinct Ron Howard/Opie vibe from him? In the most endearing of ways, of course.)

Tags: Writing //