And we’re off on another Amazing Leg…

Eight teams are left… The *win bros are off and racing first, then the Addicts (and Models!) are next…then Romberly (we find out Rob had to be treated for heat exhaustion at the end of the last leg. I think that’s one of the things, along with the sheer endurance, that is lost in watching. The viewer doesn’t get a sense of how hot it is, or that they were 30 hours on that train, etc. so it’s really hard to get a true sense of how wiped out they really are. )The BQ’s are off next and it’s clear just how close the last leg was, with all the teams leaving minutes apart. Peter and Sarah are next out of the gate and Sarah seems to be buying a clue that her boyfriend is essentially an unfeeling ass. (Okay, so she says “complicated” but we all know “complicated” means “impossible to deal with in almost any situation.”) She would be right about that. The *lyns take off and we hear yet again about how they are sacrificing themselves for the sake of their children to run this race. And yes, this is quite a thing you’re doing, but we know already, we know. Karlyn seems a little hard core. David & Mary leave next and Mary is facing her personal wall, as she realizes she is limited physically. Me? I think she’s awesome in terms of the ability she’s shown thus far, but I will say the sprained ankle might just be one thing too many for her to conquer. Last and kind of least, are the Double T’s.

The *wins get bad taxi karma. The Addicts (and Models!) arrive first at the clue stop. Romberly interview how they can’t stand Pushy Peter. Yeah, get in line. Sarah and Peter are both rubbing me the wrong way as they chuckle and cheer with every team they pass in their speedy taxi. Both teams arrive next. The BQ’s get there, and the clue said they have to “listen” for their next clue. The Beauty Queens hear…crickets. The *lyns show up and everyone is trying to shut up and listen. Then the statue starts ’speaking’ to the racers and everyone scrambles to write down what the recorded voice is saying. He is throwing Vietnamese words at them without benefit of any spelling, so this? Could get really interesting. (Yay, Race Producers for bringing back a real race! Maybe all those unfavorable Treasure Hunter task comparisons got to you. Could you perhaps mention this to the Survivor producers? Thanks.)

So…the teams all race off to…unpronouncable name locations they have no idea how to spell. Except the Addicts(AM!) who drag their driver over to the speaker and get him to listen to the message personally. Very clever! Peter and Sarah copy them. Figures! Romberly follows the Models. Peter is an ass to their driver. And then Rob is having major meltdowns because they can’t keep up with the Model’s taxi - well, next time, get the dang directions yourself. Sheesh. Mary is making more friends (doncha love her?) and David tells her that despite the fact that she thinks their driver is just the coolest thing ever, she can’t take him home with her. I Heart Them a lot in that moment. Double T makes the first stop. And Rob has a total meltdown and bails out of his taxi and yanks suitcases out, with a lot of bleeped out stuff. Dude has to calm waaaaaay the hell down. (Here is when I’m wishing there was a girl power alliance who could just, you know, vote him off the island. And Peter. Then Sarah and Kimberly can just finish the race.)
There is a huge cluster at the statue and the *win’s ask Double T if they can follow. Mary’s got her Vietnamese on. (And why are they blurring out some of the driver’s faces and not others? Odd.) Romberly gets bad taxi karma again with a driver who appears seriously impaired. Or maybe it’s just Rob who is impaired, but it’s not fun to watch. Third time seems to be the charm and Rob finally STFU.

The BQ’s, Models find the first place. Double T, *wins get there next and the bro’s promise to help the T’s in the future. The *lyns get there, Romberly gets there (not even last) and finds out that his entire meltdown doesn’t matter as the bus station they are at doesn’t open till morning anyway, but it doesn’t keep him from bitching at anyone who will listen. Where is the Mute Rob button when I need it? Peter and Sarah arrive. Mary hugs a startled taxi driver, freaking him slightly out, but they are also there. At 5am, everyone boards the same bus.

The bus arrives at a lovely harbor and the teams debark and race madly for the clue box. Dave saw it from the bus, so he and Mary get their first. Then Phil (hi Phil!) tells us that the roadblock ahead requires one person “to summon the guts and stamina to power through a potentially frightening challenge.” When Phil feels the need to deliver this kind of warning, it can’t bode well. As you may know, each teammate must share an equal load of Roadblocks, so some of the teams with one member doing more than the other to this point (yes, Peter, I’m looking at you) might find this one a bit daunting. The challenge is to use ascenders to climb a sheer 90 foot wall, positioned out over the water. Three racers can go at a time, first come, first serve.

Mary can’t make it to the boat out to the challenge fast on her bum foot, so they slip in the standings. Double T’s are first, Romberly is second, Peter/Sarah are third, and Sarah feels compelled to explain to the guy who builds prosthetic limbs for a living that while she has strong arms and legs (which is what the clue asked for) she will be slower than the others on this challenge. This would seem unnecessary, but we all know differently. He brushes her off with “fine fine” when we allll know it will be anything but fine for Peter if she’s not fast enough for his liking. The rest of the teams follow. Some boats are faster than others.

David and Mary actually get in first, followed by Romberly and the Double Ts. David, Rob, and god if I know which T are doing the roadblock for those three teams. The *lyns, the *wins, the Peter/Sarah are next. Meanwhile, David is kicking Rob’s ass in the rope climb. Yeah, coalminers rock! The *wins are suitably impressed, but not so much when they see Sarah is climbing for her team. (Peter will probably take the hit for that, but in all fairness, Sarah basically took it on without any room for argument. Not that Peter made one of course….) The Models and BQ’s are last to the platform.

Peter keeps giving Sarah “motivational speeches” which are annoying as crap, except the longer she watches the other climbers, the more Sarah seems to need them. Maybe they are suited for each other. Shrug. All I can say is, better her than me when it comes to her choice in men. Ish. Rob gets to the top first with Dave right behind him, then they have to rappel back down. The left behind T cracks me up when he murmurs “Oh my god, he’s totally going to make me do the next roadblock after this.” Ya think?

Romberly, T’s, and Team Coalminer are off to the next clue which is in a cave. And once again, as Karlyn starts her climb, we are reminded they are, yes, doing this for (all together now) their children. Sarah is quietly freaking out and Peter thinks it’s funny to tell her to pull her handicap placard out so she can cut in line. Ha ha, except so incredibly not. Ass. One of the *win’s is climbing his very fine ass off, and the left behind *lyn tells her teammate that if she can give birth with no anesthesia, this climb is a piece of cake, which cracks Karlyn up and makes me love them just a little. So, the guy is trying to tell Sarah how to use the equipment except Peter is shouting his own instructions so it’s impossible to concentrate. Shut up, Peter.

The *win makes it to the top, but is too shaky to descend. Sarah has some issues, and has her personal “find your power” come to Jesus speech, while Peter is kicking back in the boat, shades on, chewing gum, telling her she can do this and not looking particularly concerned. This should make me happy, but it doesn’t. He’s just….well, look at him. Ish. The *lyns continue to crack me up.

First three teams out make it to the caves and it’s a lot of crawling and ducking, which Rob, because he can’t calm the hell down and take his time, doesn’t handle well. Or should I say the noggin he cracks on the rocks doesn’t handle it well. It’s no wonder he had heat exhaustion the last leg. He’s exhausting just standing there. But Kimberly finds the clue box, and the *wins are heading to the cave.

Now we have a detour and Phil wearing khakis and a lovely mango colored shirt that would slip off ever-so-nicely and–um, where was I? Oh yeah, detour…but, you know, Phil is looking a wee bit tired and I think he needs some R&R. I have a few suggestions. Just, you know, in case. But he insists on telling us about the detour, which involves two jobs that are vital to the Vietnamese economy. One is loading provisions and delivering it via small boat. The other involves rowing a boat to a pearl farm, pulling up pots, then making a delivery.

In other news, Peter is still being a total ass. Sipping his soda, joking with the Models, while his girlfriend is slowly, quietly, falling apart. He never seems to get which thing is required at which time. Not even in the ballpark of getting it. The hemisphere. The galaxy. Space to inifinity. And beyond. The *lyns are off to the cave. The models make it up the wall next, and Tyler whispers encouragement to Sarah. I love him for that, as Peter is saying “keep it going, sister” and Sarah has had just about enough of his cluelessness. The Model who has known her less than a week or two, is better at being supportive than the guy who has been by her side as friend and now (supposed) lover for seven whole years. Buy your big clue now, Sarah. Team BQ tackle the wall. Sarah makes it and they are in 7th place as they head to the cave. The BQ’s are right behind them in last place.

Rob and Kimberly promise to be highly entertaining as they get into the rowboat first (entertaining in that Oh my god, look at that massive train wreck! kind of way.) Hissy fits ensue.

Other teams make their way across the harbor to cave and on to row boats. The Double T’s are equally amusing. And for a guy who’s “never done this” David manhandles those oars like nobody’s business - certainly nobody who is on this race. You go, Dave. They bicker, well Mary bickers, but that seems to be their way. I’m not fond of it and her voice grates at times, but they do work well together. The T’s are still vastly amusing.

The *wins tackle the boat, but look a bit clueless for guys with massive degrees. The Models, on the other hand, make like David and row. And, this next part I love. Sarah tells Peter she’ll do whatever he needs as he rows, and he says he just needs her to be quiet. So she gives him the same motivational speeches he gives her, making him crazy. He lectures her about how he does NOT need encouragement and she needs to just shut up. Despite the fact that that is his default position with her every second of the day. Apparently only people with one fake leg need actual verbal encouragement. God, you just want to kick him. Like all the time, don’t you?

The *lyns struggle, as do the BQ’s, but despite being in last place, they are really determined. It’s windy now, which makes it harder. All the teams are kind of melting down and really struggling in the difficult conditions. Except Romberly, who are already pulling pearl pots. Most teams end up choosing the pearl pots, too, because to go the other way means rowing against the wind. Except the *lyns who somehow managed to make it to the produce challenge.

Romberly is now being quite obnoxious with each other and the locals as they row back and head toward the pit stop (which is quite the gorgeous view from the air.)

And the *lyns are the only team who really get the moment to absorb their surroundings and draw something from them. Way to go *lyns. If not for the constant “doin it for the kids” stuff, these two are actually likable this week. The rock wall won big points, and this moves them even higher.

Back at the pots, Peter is such a jerk, bitching at the T’s and Sarah, but this is not a news flash. He can row a boat though. He’s also a quitter. He states that after this challenge, he is done. Through. He does not want to do this anymore. Apparently this is just the final straw for Peter. I have no idea why since they seem to be handling the challenge as well, if not better than the majority of the teams trying this one, but whatever. Who knows what goes on in Peter’s little mind. The T’s provide comic relief. Dave and Mary are pulling pots, and the *lyns are collecting produce. The Models have their 30 pots, and have been calm, which is nice contrast to just about everyone else.

Phil unfortanately gets to tell the grinning Team Romberly that they are team number one. Yeah, yeah, whatever dude (as Rob would say. To Kimberly.) They get jet skis. Phil asks if they are being nice to each other and while I laugh hysterically, Rob admits he has a wee problem with pacing himself. Yeah, Rob’s a wee wee.

The *lyns are getting stuck trying to get back to the boat. The *wins get their clue to the pitstop, along with Peter and Sarah, and the Models. Peter has to be reminded to help Sarah out of the little row boat into the big boat and seems a bit peeved at this request. STFU, Peter and help your girlfriend for cripes sake. And then Sarah spends the trip to the pitstop telling Peter how awesome he is (I’m guessing to beef up his ego so he doesn’t quit, but who knows. I admire Sarah a great deal, but I don’t like her a whole lot.) Peter ignores her comments and she sits on the other side of the boat, which he doesn’t even seem to notice. She interviews that her feelings toward him have changed (hallelujah) and I think the “dating” part of their relationship is over. I’m hoping the rest of it is, too. She doesn’t need his influence in her life on any level I don’t think. I’d like to see how she’d be with another racer, or alone, just to get a better sense of who she is personally,when she’s not trying to manage Peter,which I think she does more than we realize. And then she bitch-terviews to the camera sitting next to Peter, about Peter, and he just sits there and smiles serenely, which is really whack. Both of them. Honestly. Shaking my head. I officially give up with them. Like Peter, I am giving up in the middle of their race, and I just don’t care.

The T’s - comedy gold. Dave and Mary get their pitstop clue. The models realize they’re going slow because their boat captains forgot to pull the anchor up. Double comedy gold. But that allows Peter and Sarah to make the pitstop second. Yeah, this is just getting better and better, this line up. Except so not. She tries to slip her arm around his waist on the Amazing Bath Mat as Phil announces them team number two, but he just puts his hands on his hips and slides her arm off. Such a great guy.

More *lyn struggles and I have NO idea how they’re going to do this, but damn if they aren’t trying. I’m officially IN their corner. You go single moms. Do it for the kids, come on! The Models are team 3. The BQs and T’s are still pulling pots. The *win’s are team four. Mary sees Pheel in his mango shirt from the boat and totally agrees with me on his scrumptious quotient. The BQ’s get their pitstop clue. The *lyns get theirs. Phil tells Team Coalminer they’re team 5, which is one rung higher than they thought they were. You gotta love those two. Plucky, aren’t they? The T’s are done pulling pots and get their pitstop clue while the BQ’s row to the wrong island, thinking it’s the pitstop. I think that might be one too many mistakes for them, but then we’re due for a non-elim round anytime now, so who knows. This has been a really physical leg, with the climbing and all the rowing. I’m tired just watching.

Three teams are still heading to the pitstop. The T’s are bitching, because Tom is exhausted and Terry Has Had Enough of his whining. Even the BQ’s are uncustomarily bickering (though mildly) because the clue carrier Q let the clue get mangled and they cant’ read it properly, which is why they’re on the wrong beach. The *lyns on the other hand, are worried they’re last, but they are handling it strongly. The Q’s figure out they need to go to the boat, not the beach. The T’s are stuck and are now yelling for help while the *lyns are Team Number 6 and thrilled.

The girls are almost at the boat, and Tom, in a show of manliness that absolutely stuns me, gets out of the boat, into the water, and PULLS it by himself. Wow. I wouldn’t have thought he had that in him, even if he wanted to. Major golf clap for T. The Q’s lose it, then cling to each other and just let it out. Tom is wiped out and clings to Terry and lets it all out (still amusingly.) Awww, both of them, group hug! What a bitch of a day. I’d have been toast a long while back. Who will be last? Not the BQ’s who are in 7th. Which means the T’s are last again, foiled by the pearl pots and the rowing, but certainly not by their determination, even while whining and amusing me to no end. Their ride into the sunset, holding hands, was pretty sweet.

A very stern looking Phil (who has been kept waiting some time as, from the setting of the sun, they get in much later than the girls) informs the T’s they have been eliminated. (Where are the non elimination rounds? Maybe there are none, but if they have them all at the end, well, I hate that.) And a very exhausting but brilliant leg is finally over.

Next week….alligator wrestling! And more Sarah Buying Big Clues.

You know, I’d almost start to think Peter’s just getting a raw edit, because no one is that big of an ass…but no.

So….four legs, four different winners. And a very tough race that doesn’t rely on bunching and luck, but actual, you know, racing strategy and skills. I think this is my favorite season ever, in terms of race structure. Keep it up, Jerry!

Don’t forget to vote for this week’s SHaQ Attack - see Monday’s post for clues. Right now, Brodie and Tag are neck and neck. Well, some body part, I’m sure…anyway.

And tomorrow I’m guest blogging at Brava Authors!

For all you Amazing Phil Phans, which team do you think will win? Which team do you want to win? And how many ways have you dreamed up to hurt Peter?

Tags: Writing //