So, who went home on Dancing With Maksim!…and a few other people…?

Backstage last night….

How cute were backstage Willa and Maks trying to refute the rumors? Very, I say.

Then Louis pulls out the Kama Sutra reference and all that squickiness I didn’t have last night? Monique and I shared this evening.

Karina calls Mario the King of Throbbing, which, hee! But enough with the disingenuousness, Mario. Puleeze. Even Karina gets it, already. (And boy does she…ba dum bump.)

Emmitt and Cheryl revel in the Carrie Ann getting her Fly Girl on segment of the evening’s festivities.

Joey twitches backstage and Sara continues to be delusional about her dance ability, said delusion enabled by her partner. And Jerry and Kym do the Perfection, Perfection, Perfection, US! Samba. Cuteness, squared.

Before we get to the Bottom Two, we find out who gets the encore (I’m guessing Jerry…) and I’m right! Tres cool and well deserved. (Plus, now my mom will get to see it and she missed it last night. Go, Mom!) Just as much fun as last time. Enjoyed it!

Hi Do You Think I’m Sexy Rod! I unabashedly love that guy. (Sam’s dress however, not so much. It’s like a bad Christmas bridesmaid dress. Wardrobe guy? Stop giggling and get back to work!)

Up next we get Rod Stewart singing Hot Legs, with back up dancers (or up front dancers, really) Edyta and Kym. Not to mention the hot Robert Palmer blonde on sax. Men everywhere start to spontaneously drool. Amongst other things. (Shut up, Louis.) Me, I just want to see more of the drummer. Yowza.

Sam is SO not cut out for this back stage stuff. She’s clearly not even caring what their answers are, just wanting to move on to the next scripted question. Tom is so great and he deserves a better sidekick. Where’s the Brit hostess from So You Think You Can Dance? Or Kelly Ripa? Lisa Rinna? Bueller? Somebody!

HEY! It’s Jack (James Tupper) from Men in Trees in the house! Drooling over Willa. Good taste, my man. (And I do mean MY man. I saw him first.)

And wow, Tia Carrare looked great!

Now we find out the first two couples who are safe. Oh. Yippee. It’s Mario and Karina. My heart…sings. Tra. And. La. More exciting, is the news that Monique and Louis are safe, ruining my Bottom Two Guess that Monique was in danger of hitting the Red Light tonight. Which, scarily, leaves….Joey in the danger slot. Noooooo!

Next week our stars get to do a solo dance with their partners, then a group disco dance all together. And! Lifts are finally allowed. Take THAT Uncle Lenny!

Okay….who ARE these disco village people and how did they get into our ballroom? I want OUR disco dancing pros. Pout. I FF thee!

Tysonia does the quick step, and…not her dance. She dances in front of her choir this week. They love and she seems to do a pretty good job, for all the cameras never actually show anything.

Rod the Bod is back, fluffing his hair, and singing Fooled Around and Fell In Love. I happen to love this song, but not as much by Rod. Sorry, babe. Love ya….but Elvin Bishop owns this song. Owns.

Enjoyed the behind the scenes gab with the pros talking about teaching celebs to dance.

Now, we find out who is in the Bottom Two… Is it Sara and Tony as any decent, loving, want-to-save-Sara-from-utter-exhaustion human being would suspect? Uh, that would be a Big N-O. Sheesh. (Look out Joey!) Would it be Jerry and Kym? Yep, Red Light Zone for these two. And we love em, but yeah, of the remaining dancers, they do belong there. They just belong there next to SARA.

Really enjoyed the behind-the-scenes dress rehearsal footage. I always love stuff like that. I’m the one who watches through the credits while they mill around after the show is over. Like last night, it was interesting to see who talked to whom when they thought the cameras were off. And how Jerry immediately went over to the judges and individually shook their hands.

Okay, so really, Mario has his priest bless him before each performance? Because, well, it is brain surgery, after all. (Of course, we all know how devoutly faithful he is…) And…Good luck, dude? I so want to go to that church. Joey with his daughter’s pics are adorable. And Willa is actually very well spoken in her comments.

Who else is in the bottom two red light? Is it Emmitt and Cheryl or Willa and Maks? Or is it Joey and Edyta? (Donna nods.) Emmitt and Cheryl are…safe! Not fair making My Maks sweat like this…..and WHUT?? They’re in the Bottom Two and Joey is safe? The world as we know it has officially lost its collective mind. Wow. Just….wow. Or, as Joey and his baby daughter are probably saying…Whoa.

Well, they sure as heck got me…and from reading the bb’s yesterday, a whole lotta other viewers as well. Dang, I really didn’t see that one coming. And Jerry, I love you, but I’d MUCH rather see more of Mak’s man cleavage than yours, so I’m SO hoping it’s you tonight, buddy. Because Willa going home before Sara? Is just wrong.

So, we have two of the most entertaining perfomances in the Bottom Two. Who gets the ax?
Willa is already shaking her head, she knows it’s Upset Night….and she’s right.

I have….no words. Except thank you for the beach footage editors, and that lovely rumba. At least they parted on an incredibly beautiful note. And hey, now they can officially date! But I’m going to miss them both. What a travesty that was. Sheesh.

Willa handles it really well and Maks tells her she’s become his favorite student. (Sorry, Tia!) Awwwww. Sigh. They go to have their final dance, and everyone rushes to hug them, with Joey in the bounding lead. Tom announces they will both be on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I’m so taping that. Jerry clearly feels terrible, while Sara thinks her continued presence on the show is well deserved. Like I said, delusion is a wonderful thing. Until it screws up my dance show!

I officially give up guessing who will go home now. I should hate this show, but I’m in it until the end now. I can’t believe you left us with squicky Mario and Karina as our love interests. Ewww. Thanks, America.

Discuss.

Tomorrow this week’s SHaQ Attack winner is announced. The last two weeks it has ended up being last minute voters who coincidentally won, proving it’s never too late to vote! And, if I can drown my Maks sorrow in enough Edy’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, perhaps some Part One Project Runway Finale MAC will come your way….

Sob.

Tags: Writing //