So, on the last episode of Phil’s Amazing Eyebrow (aka The Amazing Race) we have drama galore, starting with the Karlyn half of the *lyns getting down with her bitchy self and jumping all over the Tyler half of the Addicts (aM!) I am seriously done with Karlyn. She is Angry All The Damn Time. I feel for Lyn, who I think is essentially a decent gal.

In other news, the BQ’s can raaace their little shorty-short behinds off. This team didn’t rub me the wrong way as much this leg, and in fact earned back a few points. But there is no denying they are possibly the best all around racing team left at this point. Romberly turned into BitchScreech Part 2 (and 3….and 4….) although if I had to pair up with Rob…let’s just say I don’t entirely blame Kimberly for her screechfests. (Personal plea to Rob: please shave.)

So…we begin with the teams all leaving the Amazing Bathmat and finding out they are traveling 4000+ miles to the island of Mauritius, which happens to be off the coast of Africa. And to which they will fly via London. (Yeah, it’s a wee bit north of where both Kuwait and Mauritius are located. Like, just shy of as out of the way as you can go.) But, that is the earliest flight to the small island, so off everyone goes. The airport bitchfest between the BQ’s, Models, and Karlyn (I refuse to add Lyn by default. She was SO wanting her partner to shut it) goes on way too long and man, poor Lyn. She’s the New Sarah for me. Over this leg alone I wanted to bitchslap her partner almost as much as I wanted to have five minutes alone with Peter and a stun gun.

Once in Mauritius, each team finds a cool model ship in their car and have to find the bay with the ship moored…and swim to it. Because flying for a day and half wasn’t exhausting enough. Best. Season. Ever. Love this! This season rocks - making them figure stuff out instead of “go here, swim there.”

The Addicts (aM!) get lost, as usual. Romberly follows rather than leads, which we later learn is a better strategy for them, but still. It’s like the BQ’s are the only team who can just find stuff on their own with no help. Ever. The Six Pack (formerly known as the Back Pack) all travel together toward the Bay, where we hear the Cho’s comment on how they’re going to stick together as much as they can, but in the end, it’s a race. Mary comments that she’d hand over the million because the friendships she’s made are priceless. And Karlyn making her bitch face (which I’m thinking is permanent, proving our parents were right. If we make that face long enough, it will freeze that way) making it quite clear that she is NOT going to hand her race over to nobody. And, you know, that’s fine because the other two teams don’t seem as raaaaaaace as these two, but still….gah. Let me smack her. Just once. Please. (And to think I’m normally such a pacifist.)

So the swim is grueling. The Addicts (aM!) show up last after once again provng that James has no sense of direction At All and would be seriously home already without Tyler as his partner, but make up serious time as 4 of the 6 pack flounder a bit on the swim back and the Cho’s flow with their alliance, when, you know, boys…you don’t have to be all Karlyn about it, but at the same time, the point of the alliance is to improve your strength, not drain time for all three teams.

Once back on dry land, they find their cars and off they go. The BQ’s are tired of Rob (who cannot read a map or talk to the locals, or apparently listen to anyone at anytime) following them, so they take an alternate route and ditch Romberly just in time to get into a car accident. A crunchy fender bender, but as Rob’s car (and Rob) have a complete melt down around the same time, it doesn’t cost them a lot.

Everyone is driving, trying to find the post office. BQ’s and A(aM!) find it first, then the Six Pack, and Romberly in last as they had to wait for a new car. The clue at the Post Office is the Road Block for this leg. The teams can either do the Needle in the Haystack game at the local salt mine, or take a boat to a little island and hunt for treasure. Only the BQ’s go on the treausre hunt, but after everyone digs through enough salt looking for the random shaker with the clue in it to make them never want another margarita ever for as long as they live - ever- they all give up and head over to the treasure hunting task. Dave and Mary wait way longer than everyone else to switch tasks and never really recover until just before the pit stop, where Mary unsurprisingly harangues Dave about his lack of rudimentary navigational skills, which would have gotten them to the pit stop next to last, except no. He listens to her and they are once again in last place. But I digress.

Oh, and the secret hidden pit just in front of the treasure? Gold. Do more of that, Amazing Race Producers.

It should be said that while the Six Pack were racing for the mat, knowing one of them was going to be eliminated, Karlyn made it quite clear that her alliance was only in place when it was working in her favor. Take note Four Pack - don’t ever count on any help from Karlyn unless there is something in it for her personally. (Like when Lyn wanted to let the other two teams know they’d left the airport without waiting for them and Karlyn was all “why?” as if she couldn’t even comprehend why they’d want to communicate that to the rest of their alliance. Lyn and I both sigh heavily.)

So…the BQ’s take a very well deserved first place as the only team doing this for themselves, and win scooters (and try to pick up a very married Phil, but then, who wouldn’t? And Phil? Blushes very cutely.) The A(aM!) come in a surprising second for as badly as they ran that leg. Romberly comes in third. I know. Leaving the Six Pack bringing up the rear. The Cho’s are fourth, the *lyns are fifth, leaving Mary and a very hen-pecked Dave to come in last. And they did deserve that last place finish this week, so I was okay with this. And I was just saying my goodbyes when…

Phil smiles that smile of his and tells them that, it is called the Amazing Race for a reason, because Amazingly Enough, they just scored the second non-elimination round. I know! I was happy last time they got this, but this time I kind of felt like….maybe not so much. Then I wondered how I’d have felt if it was the *lyns getting the reprieve and decided I was happier that it was Mary and Dave and got over it.

Next week looks like we get more New Amazing Twists! Teams think it’s finally a Yield (and I would have run teams down to Yield Karlyn. Sorry, Lyn) but No! It’s an Intersection. Hunh, you ask? Well, so is the rest of America. Seems teams will have to work together…and not necessarily with the teams they’d like to. Should be interesting!

Discuss!

Oh and don’t forget to play the SHaQ Attack game this week. Read yesterday’s blog for all the details. It’s easy and you could win a free book. I know! (Which is officially to this blog what “seriously!” is to Grey’s Anatomy.)

Tomorrow? Dancing w/ the Stars MAC!!

Happy Halloween everyone! Wooooooooooo!

(Anyone dressing up tonight and hitting the Halloween Party Circuit? Tell us what you’re wearing!)

Tags: Writing //