And so it is!

4 couples are left and the producers decide to “tag” the remaining celebs. We have the “Hoofer” (aka Joey), the “Heartthrob” (yeah yeah yeah), the “Starlet” (aka Monique), and the “Legend” (aka Emmitt.) Because I suppose with a whopping four folks left we needed to distinguish them somehow? Like they’re all so similar or something.

Okay, what is Samantha dressed up as? A turn of the century showgirl? I’m not sure. Or is that not a costume?

The couples descend the Stairway of the Stars onto the dance floor of Fog Machine Ghostliness (I hope that dissipates quickly!) All the couples are dressed in black or dark colors. Hey, Edyta is actually dressed! Monique has black lipstick. I know it’s Halloween, but ew. Of course, Louis! has vampirish sideburns, so a big guess what theme their music is going to. Or not, come to think of it. Dang, Emmitt looking sharp and Cheryl is looking very Kym-ish this evening. Whoa. (tm Joey.) Aaaaand, god forbid Mario and Karina don’t shake things up. She? Comes out in all white. The only one. Whatever.

Samantha does her ghoul impression and….was that really her? Because, kinda pretty good (if corny.) But still. A tiny golf clap, grudgingly given, but hey, a clap nonetheless. Smooches, Tom! I get the feeling, given the random vampire teeth, etc, we’re in for some out-of-the-norm routines tonight. Should be fun! Pass the candy corn.

Joey & Edyta get the paso doble and tango. Joey’s very cute brothers, Andy and Matt, show up at one of the rehearsals. Edyta puts them through their paces and they quickly give up on the ribbing of bro Joey. Yeah, harder than it looks, fellas. Very cute, but they have such nice hair to go with their cute Joey brother faces, it makes me want to see hair on the Joe-meisters head again. Imagine how much better looking (than he already is) he’d be?

First we have the tango…very Bride of Frankenstein, here we go. And we get the theme from the Addams Family. Boy, so actually very Morticia and Gomez. I hope the judges are in the holiday spirit and this is all part of the fun, because it is fun and it would suck if they buzz kill this with negative you-broke-the-rules crap. (I mean, the show gave them the Addams Family, so come on.) Here we go…. very cute routine. Makes me miss Cousin It. And really difficult to dance to, seeing as it’s more spoken than sung really, but they do an admirable job. Fun opener.

Judges? Len thinks all 4 couples have the potential to be in the finals, but doesn’t think it will necessarily be the best dancers, but the ones with the nerve to stick the landing. Bruno loved it, and Carrie said it was the best he’d done and she really admired the work and the fun. Scores: 10 (woot!), 9 and 9 (blowing Joey away) for 28 points.

(And sit down Karina. Posing in the background while Sam interviews Edyta and Joey? Surrrre, you just happened to keep moving to where the camera is panning. And surrrre you have to stand up and warm up. Sheesh.)

Next we get Mario & Karina. They get the waltz and the samba. The Bickersons return for Round 13735.2 And Mario swoons over the sad story he will tell with his waltz. Yawn. (I know, I’m so mean.)

Here we go…we open with the requisite dramatic pose from Mario. And they don’t get campy holiday music, they get haunting waltzy music. But not haunting in a Halloween way. Sure, Stoned Music Gods, come through for these guys. Is it me being bitchy about Mario, or is he very tippy toes through this dance? It’s lovely and all, but he’s kinda different looking in his tippy toe way. It was all just a little Too Twee for me. Of course, if I liked them, I’d have been all over this dance, drooling. So, it’s totally me.

Judges Bruno says it was the fairy tale waltz. Carrie Ann agrees with Bruno. Yeah yeah yeah. Len says it was poignant and beautiful. Not one tippy toe comment. Figures. (And the back stage aw shucks stuff doesn’t work on me either. Quite the opposite. Maybe I need more ice cream. Yeah, that must be it.) Scores? 9, 9, 10 for 28 (which doesn’t move them remotely, unlike an excited Joey.) Ugh.

Tomorrow’s musical guests are Simon Cowell’s operatic teeny bopper trio, Il Divo. (And how cute is that movie Happy Feet?)

With Monique and Louis, we are back to the fun camp of holiday Halloween night. Yay! (But that black lipstick is just freaky. Looks like she had a bad experience with a licorice whip.) She gets a surprise visit from Kenny Ortega, the director and choreo dude from High School Musical (and Dirty Dancing as it happens.) In trying to rally the voting troops, (come on, it so was) we see her visit kids and marvel over their drawings, etc. It was a nice spot. So come on people, vote for her. Grrl Power and all that. They get cha cha and tango. Clearly Louis really pushes her and it shows in their dances. I wish the judges (and voters) would credit her for the level at which she is performing in terms of difficulty. She dances at a faster, closer to pro pace, than any of the others - mostly due to Louis, I’m sure, but it’s impressive. And her work ethic is even more so.

First up is tango (to frakking disco music version of Somebody’s Watching Me? Come onnnn! I call big honkin foul on that.) And, I hate to say it, but the cut of her dress does her no favors and makes it look like she’s crouching the whole time to be shorter than Louis, which is a shame because they really are executing a challenging routine. Come on music and wardrobe people, help a girl out for once. There are a few missteps, but this was really reaching for a new level and kudos for trying. The ending was great! Loved that. Loved. Louis can grab me and bite my neck anytime. The caliber of dancing this year is awesome and just keeps getting better.

Judges?Carrie Ann is a total buzz kill and says while she admires her guts for going for tougher stuff, she felt she reached too high, the goes on to detail every little thing. Come on. I know, it’s true, but jeez already, CA. (Although she does agree about the cut of the dress. Sorry, Mo.) Len backs CA up and as does Bruno and they tell her to lighten up. Scores 8, 8, 8 for 24.

Emmitt & Cheryl end the ballroom round with their Fox Trot. We see Emmitt go homw to San Fran to meet Cheryl’s family and their huge honkin personal ballroom. Dang, Cheryl’s Family. That’a a ballroom there. We also see a cameo of last year’s contestant, Jerry Rice with Emmitt, which is fun.

And here we go…and wow, already in love with this. Great music, to Witchcraft, and they look fabulous in their tails and gown, the whole thing is just stunning. Love. And so clearly having a wonderful time and totally enjoying themselves. Really love this. Give the man the glitter ball trophy now. The crowd is so into this, too, it just gives you goosebumps. Dance of the night, another Big Winner for these two. Cheryl, you do know how to choreo to your partner. Standing O for you. I mean, how adorable is that man? And so completely different from Drew last year, but she plays to their strengths so easily she makes it look natural. His arms aren’t always as strong as they could be, but who’s looking at his arms when he’s got that smile? S’wonderful!

Judges? Len says he loves his charm, but felt they dropped the ball with keeping the ballroom hold (he has a point, but who cares? Len, apparently.) Bruno says he thoughts it was witty and creative and he loved it. Carrie Ann picks on the boys for bickering, then gets picky with him herself. Sigh. ( And we are wavelengthing because she mentions his arms, too. First the dress, now this. But still a buzz kill, CA.) And the dance was still my favorite so far. So there. Scores: 8,8,9 for 25.

Round Two - Latin Dances

Okay, the Edyta I know and cringe is back wearing her dominatrix pirate outfit as only Edyta can wear it (or, well, not wear it, as the case always may be.) Joey is sporting the cape. I hope after their opening campy routine, which was fun, this doesn’t push them over the line into Too Farville. We’ll see.

Dancing the paso doble, here we go. Very awkward music (rock n roll paso) and interesting choreo, too. There is nothing really rousing, beyond their costumes, and the crowd isn’t all that into it until closer to the end when Edyta finally choreo’d something for Joey to do. I have no idea what the judges will say to this one.

Judges? Bruno says he thought they had good playfulness. Auntie Carrie Ann says he’s come into his stride and she is enjoying his performance, but that he needs to watch leading too much with his chest. Uncle Lenny gets all picky and makes CA look like Good Queen Benevolent. Cranky Lenny, cranky. Every person with and XY chromosome, however, agreed heartily that Edyta’s pirate outfit was a 12 out of 10. Scores? 9,8,9 for 26. And I like that Joey is truly excited about his scores. Unlike They Who Shall Not Be Named :cough: Mario & Karina:cough:

Next up, is They Who Shall…ah, whatever. M and K dance their samba. I’m thrilled. Can’t you tell. Oh boy, we get Karina as Paris Hilton as a redhead. Wearing a mardi gras like mask. I have no idea. Let’s just go with it. They get Stevie’s Superstition as their samba song (because that’s so latin and all….Stoned Guy? Helloooo?) But after their waltz music, they deserve at least one jacked up song. It’s hot, though, I will say that. The crowd leaps right in from the first beat. That’s a Stevie song for ya. Karina’s dress is….weird, but I guess it’s a samba thang. And, as much as it pains me to say it, these two? Are all kinds of hot. Dang, y’all. I need a fan or something. Ice cream won’t be enough. The music actually works incredibly well, which figures, but whew mama. They brought the sexy. Great performance. And the crowd goes full tilt nuts. You know, it was a very Cheryl Burke-ish routine. I even watched it again (for the routine, y’all, honest. Where is my ice cream spoon anyway?) and it really did look lik her choreo. Probably why I liked it so much. Very well done, you two. New Best of the Night for me. (Sorry, Emmitt.)

Judges? CA gives a big WOOOOO! Nuff said. Len loved the technicality but said it lacked spontaneity. Here we majorly part ways. CA and Bruno hop on my train. Man, you’re getting really old and cranky Uncle Lenny. What dance were you watching? Did you hear the crowd? I don’t think they thought it lacked anything. I know I didn’t and I don’t even like these two. Tom? Totally saves the moment with a Halloween candy/sugar crash joke. God, I love that man. He makes it look so easy. Bruno? Thought it was Super in triplicate.
Scores 10, 9, 10 for a well deserved 29 - should have been 30.

Now it’s Monique’s turn to redeem herself from her, god forbid, trying too hard and reaching too far routine. (and yes, I do get the comment and even agree to a point, but they just hammer the poor child I think, without equal praise for the good stuff.) Anyway, she’s doing the cha cha cha here they go. I don’t know that I get the purpose of the overalls, but whatever. Louis? You’re just not getting the pulse of how this season is going I don’t think, but I, for one, really admire how you approach this. I wish you had more support from the judges (altho I think your fans are largely what is keeping Mo in the game.)

Except they are dancing the cha cha cha to……Ghostbusters?? Who gives them this stuff? I’m so done with you Stoned Music Guy. Then someone darts across the stage in the background (stoned gaffer guy probably) and the musical arrangement of this song is also on crack and….the whole thing is just not good. I fear for Mo. (And I haven’t even commented on her outfit. Because….no one listens anyway, so why. Why??) Again, I think she reaches a bit too far (altho did you see the height of those heels? How she stays upright, much less all the kicking and spinning is beyond me. I’d be in full body traction fifteen seconds in), again the outfit does nothing to help her out AT ALL, and I know the judges will maybe be more subdued since they pounded her last time - and I think they did more actual cha cha-ing, but…..I worry. That’s all I’ll say.

Okay, I lied. Sue me. I was watching her thinking, she so goes for it, and she really delivers at a high level and if she had the natural charisma of say Emmitt (or Kym) with that spark and smile you can’t help but respond to, it would be a totally different ballgame, even if everything from the neck down was exactly the same. Just sayin. She can’t fix that, you’re either born with it, a la Emmitt, or you’re not. But Louis has it, so that helps tremendously.

Judges? Len says it had flair, speed, great rhythm and pronounced it fantastic. Bruno said it was cha cha charming. CA says she came back and showed them. Wow, much nicer and way more than fair. Glad they proved me wrong. Scores? 9, 10, 10 for 29 (wow! Lenny gives a 10, I’m shocked!) And so is Mo. She finally got her tens. I’m actually really thrilled. It will be a dog fight for the final three and that’s how it should be.

What I didn’t realize was that was Louis’ first tens in all three seasons. Wow, I didn’t know that. Seems almost impossible to believe!

Last of the night is Emmitt and Cheryl doing their rumba and after last week’s smokin hot latin round, I have high expectations they’ll end the show on a high note. Here we go, dressed to kill in all white, they dance to Spooky (though it should be sung by a man, just sayin) - and Cheryl’s dress looked all deceivingly modest when she came down those stairs, but once she turned? Not so much. Nice wardrobe there (can you maybe get your clothes person to help Mo out a wee bit?)

And, um, can I say it? But when Cheryl does that first dip and grips Emmitt’s uh, hip bone area? Yeah, she misses a little bit and the crowd gasps and so do I. But in a highly amused way. Dang. I mean, it’s supposed to be the sexiest dance, but let the man dance with his pleated pants intact. Definitely sinuous and sexy. Maybe not the wow factor of last week’s red hot number, but still good. I really liked them tonight, which is why they got all my votes. Heck, it’s why I actually voted. I don’t want to see him go home. Well, I don’t want to see anyone go home. Like Mario said, it would be nice if it was just a recital and they all got to stay.

Judges? Bruno says (in a very post coital sighing tone) that no one can teach Emmitt anything about working the floor with a woman. I would agree. CA is swooning and thinks she could be a great partner for Emmitt. Right Now. (She’s pretty flustered. It’s cute.) Buzzkill Lenny buys a clue and says it was smooth, classy and fantastic. Speaking of smooth, classy and fantastic, how great is Emmitt in the Q & A? Scores - 9, 10, 10 for 29 Lenny actually says he wishes he could have given an 11. Whoa. Maybe someone gave him some candy corn during the break and smoothed out his blood sugar. Cheryl is thrilled and Emmitt is smiling like only he can.

And, as much as I really thought Mario’s last dance was the best, I think Emmitt put together the two most enjoyable. In watching the recap, I really did love their fox trot immensely. Great night, you two.

The Leader Board: Out of a possible 60:
Mario/Karina -28 +29 = 57
Emmitt/Cheryl - 25 + 29 = 54
Joey/Edyta - 28 + 26 = 54
Monique/Louis - 24 + 29 = 53

Tomorrow night is going to be a nail biter. If I had to guess, I’d say Mo and Joey are at the most risk, and possibly Joey a slight bit more, only because he got done the earliest of the four and is therefore the most removed from the memory banks. But we’ll see! Hey, can we vote off Samantha? Who’s with me?

Tags: Writing //