Okay, I had to get up at 4 am to pick up my kids from their ski trip. So today’s blog post is all MAC, all the time. Forgive me if I’m not entirely PC. Sleep deprivation will do that to ya. (No, really. Come on, go with me on this.)

So….MAC: The Bachelor Pt 1 and Pt 2. The first hour was devoted to a recap of the season thus far (which has comprised two whopping episodes, but whatever.) It not only gave us a recap, but included new, never before seen audition tape, behind the scenes commentary, and additional date footage. But first, it must be said - some of the other guys they interviewed before pulling Travis literally off the streets of Nashville? I hope they kept a list, that’s all I’m sayin’.

So, are we really still talking about Allie G and her reproductive phase? Really? Three weeks running now? No. Enough, leave the poor girl alone. (Although word to Allie. The audition tape? Could you have given them any more ammo? Come on, a little self awareness.) Speaking of which, Kristen? I know I gave you mad props last week for owning yourself, quirks and all, and being willing to wait for someone who appreciates you for you. I still believe that. But, wow, who knew that what we saw was merely the barest minimum of your quirky sense of humor. The editors must have sat up late into the night, deciding which footage to use. Did they need to drag this out two weeks in a row? No. Should you change who you are no matter how embarrassing this was to watch, not once, but twice? No. But should you perhaps be a teensy tiny bit more perceptive to your audience’s discomfort when displaying all your adorable quirkiness? Mebbe. Hugs.

Episode Pt 1 grade: C (for lack of creativity and going back to the humiliation well two too many times. All that footage and you couldn’t give us more new stuff?)

Like more of Travis with no shirt on? (What? Me? Shallow? Still…Grade? A+)

I’m sorry, where were we? Oh, right. The Bachelor Pt 2 - second hour, new episode. So now we get two of Travis’ doctor buddies, both filled with geeky sweetness and best of intentions in helping their good buddy find his true luv. Immediately upon spying them at the Garden Table of Inquisition, I was like, wha? Skeleton on the table? We’re going to quiz the women on their medical knowledge (or, more accurately, their absolute lack thereof) because…why? I thought I’d somehow leaned on the remote and ended up switching channels to Beauty and the Geek. There is a reason I don’t watch that show. This would be exactly why. But…whatever. They mean well. (And if they ever need stand ins for that Nextel commercial where the guys are dancing in that small office to that Ooh Baby Baby song? Yeah. Right here.) Still, somehow they picked the same one I would have chosen for him.

So, show of hands? Is Susan “I’m a Smitten Kitten” sincere? (And did she really say that? Really? With a straight face? I know I laughed. How did Travis not laugh?) Or is this just one big L.A. audition for the self proclaimed wanna be actress? And if Susan isn’t The One….who among those left is? What is up with Moana “I’m as shallow as a kiddy pool” anyway? (Now that line? Cracked me up, too, but in a good way.) I like her, in a let’s-have-lunch-and-dish kinda way. But what are her reasons for being on this show? No clue.

Fantasy dates….the mini car ride, dinner date gets two thumbs up. The French Riviera yacht date, well duh. Except sharing sucks. (and enough already with using “pimp daddy” as an adjective.) But camping? Really? I know he likes to camp, but you’re in PARIS. Camp later. And gee, was anyone surprised who was sent home from that overnight? And could it have been any more awkward for the three of them. Producers? Too far. Rotting eggs, okay, she handed that to you. But this? Contrived and just plain mean. He handled it about as well as anyone could. Jennifer? You deserved much better. Even if the whole bug thing, well, bugged. Still, hugs. “I went to Paris and I got to go camping!” Not exactly the t-shirt anyone wants to bring home. Episode grade: B

Tags: Writing //