I’ve been putting in some long hours at the store these past few weeks, but it’s been fun helping everyone with their holiday projects. Of course, my projects aren’t getting done, but hey, somebody’s are and that’s all that matters, right?

Through all of this I’ve come to realize two things. One: after spending 8 or 9 hours a day listening to Sirius radio’s Christmas station, I could happily go the rest of my natural life without ever hearing “Christmas Shoes” or “Santa, Baby” ever again. HAPPILY. EVER.

And two: I need elves. I don’t think it’s at all fair that Santa has cornered the market on these helpful little individuals and I’d like to hire a few of my own, please. For instance, when I get home after a long day at the store, with pages still to write in my latest masterpiece (hey, it’s my dream here) and, magically, no one has appeared to cook dinner, walk the dogs, or do the laundry during my absence, much less write my next book, wouldn’t it be lovely to have elves? Who knows, they might even be decent writers and I could get them to knock out a scene or two while I soak in a nice warm tub full of bubble bath.

So, I just want to know…where do I go to hire a few? Are they union? Will I have to provide food, housing? These are the pressing issues I’m currently debating.

Until such time as I find the answers to these perplexing questions…I find they still come in handy as a useful place to lay blame for all the things that don’t get done around here. Such as “Gee, no, I’m sorry honey, I didn’t get your favorite sweatshirt washed and dried while working two jobs for 14 hours yesterday. If only the elves had shown up today, they could have gotten it done for you.” Damn elves, I’d mutter under my breath.

See? Handy, huh? Suddenly, my inability to get everything done is all their fault.

I hope you all are getting your stuff done, even if I’m not. (And hey, if not, feel free to use the elves to your advantage as well.) Santa has quite the racket there and I say we take a piece of that action whether he wants us to or not.

Happy 4 Days Till Christmas!

And don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack - details in Tuesday’s post. Winner announced tomorrow!

Oh…and Men in Trees is a repeat tonight, but they’re all worth watching again. Give yourself a break. Let the elves do the dishes, watch Jack and Marin make nice, and enjoy a nice mug of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream while you’re at it. We all need a break now and then.

Tags: Writing //