We’re down to 11. Live! It’s American Idol.

British Invasion Night. Lulu and Peter Noone are both lookin’ good… Lulu coaches the girls, Peter takes on the guys. Lulu is all serious business and gritty voice. Peter is all bouncy Don’t Worry, Be Happy with killer baby blues. I just want to hear the kids sing. (Songs that were written and performed before they were born. Heck, in some cases before I was born.)

Haley is up first…she’s decided to distract us from the fact that she’s bottom three material (which is even worse when you consider most of the guys belong there before all of the girls) by wearing shorts and showing off the gams. I’m thinking it will work with Simon. Just sayin’ Lulu gives good advice. Haley is singing Tell Him…and here we go.
Working the legs and bouncing, uh, attributes, right in Simon’s face (smart girl) can only distract us so far from the fact that while she can sing, she’s not a show stopper. Never gonna be. Sorry, Haley. Did you ever think about being a Rockette instead? She gets a standing O. I have no idea why.

Judges – Randy says she has the yo factor. Paula has returned to her incoherent past. Simon says she’s a naughty little thing (See! I told you!!) But he agrees with me about what part of her performance will have people talking. And it ain’t the singing.

Chris R is up and goes with Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying. Peter agrees with me that he hasn’t seen much of the whole star quality thing with Chris yet. Wonder if tonight will change both our minds. Sitting on a stool and going all acoustic on us, I do enjoy the non-bouncy Chris a lot more, but his voice just doesn’t inspire me to rush to iTunes and download. Still, better than before. And the guys need all the good PR they can get. And the smile is a cutie patootie.

Judges? Randy says he’s excited about the show tonight, and with that, I’ll agree. Much better already than last week’s fiasco. Paula…take another sip of Coke. Simon says it was his best performance and he made it his own. Agreed.

Stephanie is next with a Dusty Springfield classic…You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me. First, the boots? Just say no. She goes the understated route, and it’s not a bad one, just not a memorable one. When she gets to the good part…it doesn’t bring people to their feet in the way it would with Melinda or LaKiki. So…good job. But just good.

Judges - Randy pulls the pitchy card. Paula is…unfortunately not the new Paula some more. Simon says she’s losing her edge and it was just good. Again, we agree. Scary, isn’t it?

Yay, time for Blake! He does the Zombies’ Time of the Season. Peter says he likes the idea of updating it but I’m not sure he gets beat boxing. I think Blake’s beat box would work great with the back beat sound effects of the original, so cool! Except the rehearsal footage didn’t wow me. I want wow, Blake. Give it to me! Here we go… and oh yeah, I’m loving it. Great opening. He needs to stay on the beat of the band, he’s a bit behind it, I think, but I really love this version. Good showman, interesting take. I’ll be interested to hear what the judges say. The vocals are intentionally scatty…wonder if they’ll call it pitchy. Love the keyboard at the end. This? I will download.

Judges – Randy says cool, edgy, vibey, huge yo factor. Yay. Paula really really…agrees. Simon says a million times better than last week, strongest performance so far. Yay Squared. I actually went back and watched it again. Mostly to wipe out the Ryan Version 2.0 from my brain. Love that he can make fun of himself, but Ack!

Now we get LaKiki who has no experience with Brit Tunes. Should be interesting. She’s learning from scratch and narrows it down to You’re My World and Shirley Bassey’s Diamonds Are Forever. Lulu does her best to talk her into You’re My World. Better choice I’m thinkin, but which way did she go? Here we go…and considering the bling she’s sporting, I guess we have our answer. And one verse in, she’s already done Shirley proud. Girl can sang. And I liked the elegance and the way she carried the Good Bondian Vibe throughout. Sustained standing O.

Judges? Randy says he wasn’t feelin the KiKi in it. Paula disagrees and…okay. Simon says we know she’s a great singer, but says it was Kiki at 50. Disagree. See, we don’t always share one brain. And she handles the Ryan Interview brilliantly. Big parade clap for Kiki.

Up next is Phil is singing Tobacco Road. (British Invasion song? Hunh. I didn’t know that.) I happen to love this song. I don’t happen to love Phil. So I’m torn. I don’t think I want him to win me over with this one. I think I want him to leave me this song the way I remember it. Sigh. Oh, okay…here we go…if we must. Yeah, it’s not horrible, but mostly due to some baritone back up singer who saves the refrain. And a great guitar player. When Phil is out there on is own? Man, I’d rather hear Diamond Dave sing this. Erase, erase, erase. But then I’m biased.

Judges? Randy says it was pretty good. Paula echoes Randy, just takes twice as long to manage the same sentiment. Simon says he wasn’t crazy about it….because it’s not believable without the grit and Phil isn’t gritty….aaaaand, we’re back in sync.

Now? It’s Jordin Sparks with I Who Have Nothing. Big song for a big voice. Here we go. Great arrangement and I think she strikes a nice balance between understated and pleading big vocals. One of the top tonight, I think. Especially since she’s only 17 and poured a lot of believable emotion into a song she can’t possibly truly get. Good job.

Judges? Randy says it was great. Paula is saying something while Simon is winking at someone. Simon says it was a depressing song that she sung beautifully.

Oh, and can I just pause and say how great the band is this year? The addition of the strings and brass is really a nice upgrade. The arrangements are better, too.

Back to our regularly scheduled Idol…

….and Sanjaya, who has no idea what he wants to sing. Because he’s all over that old Brit Rock. (Kill Me Now!) He decides, in his infinite wisdom, to tackle You Really Got Me. (No, really. KILL ME NOW!) Do we have to listen to this? I’m still recovering from Phil trashing my first love, now this? Honestly, the things I do in the name of blogging. More like a flogging, this. Now he says maybe he’ll cover one of Peter’s Herman’s Hermits songs - Something Tells Me I’m Into Something Good. MUCH better song choice. Mostly because I could care less about this song. Leave the Kinks ALONE! Peter??? What’s wrong with you man…don’t tell him to sing a song he can’t possibly handle with that soft voice and total lack of stage domination. Sheesh. I need ice cream. LOTS of ice cream. Aaaaaaand, here we go with? Oh, just shoot me. He goes with the Kinks. Because nothing says gritty rock like Sanjaya Malakar. And you just know the teeny boppers are sobbing his name…as proven by the sobbing teenybopper in the audience. And he tries to get all nasty with Paula. No, that wasnt a typo. I need a shower. More ice cream…and a shower. But hey, give the kid credit, he does totally go for this. Totally. For that he gets my respect. But for the love of GOD stop showing the sobbing girl already!

Judges? Discuss. I need some air. Randy says it was his best to date. Paula says it was fun. Simon? Reality check please. He says the little girls face says it all…except I don’t think he gets that she’s sobbing with uncontrollable pre-adolescent lust. Ew. Just….make it stop. Jurassic erase. What would be hilarious? Is if he goes home this week. I’m thinking not.

Gina is next…with the Stones Paint It Black. Ooooh, strobes. All I could think when she started singing was how much I’d have loved to hear this song on either season of Rock Star. On American Idol…not so much as it turns out. She does a fine American Idol job with it, and it’s the right song choice, but I’m seeing her limitations in the year of the Big Belters. Kudos for going with the new arrangement and for tackling Mick. She closes well.

Judges? Randy is in my zone. Paula says big improvement over last week. And I realize I have no idea what she sang last week. Yikes. Simon says there were moments of complete torture in that. And, harsh, but….yeah. Style over content - agreed, deux. Ryan….enough already. Dead horse? Beating it? Yeah.

Up now…Chris Sligh, who I love in his Peter Banter. Maybe it’s my Kevin Smith love that shines a bit Chris’ way. Who knows. But he loves Brit Invasion music and I’m dying to hear someone claim it back. So far Blake has really been the only one who was truly one with the material. So, he’s chosen She’s Not There by the Zombies. (squee!) Don’t you dare let me down! This show owes me tonight. Big. So, make it your own, Chris, but just don’t jack with the melody, ‘kay? Opening notes are consoling me. And he’s in the audience…singing with that lovely Chris voice. I’m thawing. Except, if you’re going to walk through the audience, don’t completely ignore them, dude. If you can’t deal with the distraction, then don’t court it. Back to the music….that I’m liking. Yay, finally, I don’t have to bleach my brain. Not sure he man handled the refrain completely, but miles better than most of the competition tonight.

Judges? Randy says he’s going for it, was a bit off in the audience, ended strong. Paula likes the sartorial splendor, thought the vocals were good. Simon says he did his thing, thought he handled the audience well, and did his thing better than last week.

Last up is MindyDoo…closin the show. As it should be. She sings As Long As He Needs Me. Torch song…and out of her comfort zone, she says. I’m betting she gets it just right. And here we go. She does just fine…and I’m a little bored with the song because I don’t know it, but nothing wrong with her performance at all. (And what is wrong with that poor sobbing child anyway? Leave her alone already production people!!)

Judges? Randy says they saved the best for last, yet again. Paula…doesn’t matter. Simon wonders if she’s really as nice as she seems. And agrees that she is. He also agrees that it’s a boring song, but that she brought it.

In closing…my favorites? Blake by a mile…and Chris S was okay, too. (I know, the guys! Who’da thunk it!) I thought Melinda and LaKisha did just fine, as did Jordin, but not my favorite in terms of my entertainment viewing pleasure. Upbeat next week ladies, enough with the ballads. Bottom three? Honestly…and I hate to admit this in print, but I’d put Stephanie, Haley, and Phil there. Not Sanjaya. I know. But this week, boy went for it big and he deserves credit for that. Not that he’s going home anyway, but he wasn’t the worst. Yes, I believe this is, in fact, the first sign of the apocalypse.

And that poor girl…I hope she’s home schooled because she’s either going to be a rock star to all her friends for getting the spotlight on national television and hugging every Idol…or her life is going to be an unmitigated living hell. Let’s pray for the former shall we? And pass her the Kleenex already.

Discuss!

Oh yeah - SHaQ Attack. Because it’s Wednesday, how about you just send me an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with Pick Me! in the subject line. And come Friday, I will do just that with one of ya. Winner gets his/her choice from my website bookshelf.

Who’s going home tonight?

Tags: Writing //