Welcome to the Morning After Commentary Cafe….grab your frothe-a-latte and join in the fun!

On Dancing With the Stars….this just in: Samantha? Looks pretty normal this evening. Now if they’d just take the mic away from her and not let her near the backstage area, we could all just enjoy her more.

Hi Tom! Hi 10 remaining stars! Hi Maks! (What? There are other instructors?)

Tonight it’s the Tango and Jive!

Everyone descends the Stairway of First Impressions….Ian & Cheryl (who has a very fringy boob), Karina & Billy Ray Capone, Leeza My Fair Lady Gibbons & Tony, Barbarella & Joey (I swear she’s going to put someone’s eye out with those things. I’m sure Joey hopes it’s him), Maks Bond & a very elegant Laila, a suprisingly fairly clad Edyta & John Corleone Ratzenberger, Brian & Let’s Shag! Shandi, Elena & Clyde (what is he wearing? Way too much black on black on black), Jonathan & Gidget Mills, and Apolo & Julianne Witherspoon.

Hi Judges…let’s get dancing!

Shandi & Brian are up first, they get the jive, and she’s trying, really she is. You know, I think she’s a bit too mechanical, but I can’t help but wonder if their lack of votes is because of Brian. He out performs her in a way that diminishes rather than builds their partnership. Plus he’s just one giant (well, euphemistically) exclamation point. I don’t see them lasting long, but they weren’t horrible or anything, just not particularly memorable. Scores - 7,7,7 = 21 Very fair.

Edyta & John go next with the tango. (What is she wearing? As props go, that one kinda flopped.) Oh, and it turns out she’s not all that clothed. Shocking, I know. It was good, and they even had decent tango music, but I think the reason this one wasn’t as charming was it was a bit too obvious that Edyta was leading. And the thing is, I don’t really think John needs leading all that much. I guess she was worried or nervous. But, again, servicable, but I didn’t find myself grinning through it as I have his past performances. Lacked the charm. Okay, until the end when he dragged her still prone body over to the judges table. That? I loved. Big cheers from the audience and from me. Scores? 7, 6, 7

Clyde & Elena get the jive and an absolutely adorable segment with Clyde’s mother who can zydeco her little fanny off with the best of them. I say put Mrs. Clyde’s Mother on the show!! So….then they dance to Creedence Clearwater Revival? Oookay. And this is tough on Clyde, who has fast feet ability from his NBA years, but it’s not translating too well here with the jive, but he’s certainly giving it his all, and she’s very cute and bouncy (up until the dress peel - what was she wearing after that? Odd looking garment and not much of it!) Still, a bottom three team again for me this week. Scores - 6, 5, 5 = 16 And ouchie, but ya know, in contrast to the competition, fair. But now you can see why I thought Shandi’s was more than fair.

Yay! Maks & Laila get the tango. Mmmm. Tango Maks. Lucky us. Hectic travel week and we even get Maks’ baby bro Valentin… Mini Maks! Laila is starting to feel the pressure and the dynamic between the two, while it appears a bit volatile, I think works well for one another. I don’t know who else could handle these two, so best they are together. They’ll either win or die trying. Or kill each other. HA! I KNEW it. They get Bond music. Am I good or what? Maks is even better and Laila looks all kinds of fantastic in hair and dress. This? Is going to be good. Shaken and stirred. She really has the right ‘tude for this dance, and so does he. (And did you see that little pat on her lower back? Hmmm…..) Definitely easier for the pro to be the guy in this dance, but they looked really good and she held up really well. Dare I say it was hottt? (Okay, I didn’t like so much when it was over and she strolled over to the judges without even so much as looking at Maks, much less waiting for him. Hunh. Not good. Lost a bit of love there. No one puts Maks in the corner.) Judges give them grief for breaking the rules by breaking hold in the tango and no one lets Maks rebut, which, you know, I’d have enjoyed. Scores? 7,7,7 = 21 Clearly unfair in terms of how well they did, but punishment for rule breaking. Ah well. Not sure why they did it, because Maks had to know. Maybe they just couldn’t fit the whole dance into her tight schedule, so they eased it a bit. A shame, because it was good.

Julianne & Apolo (squee!! don’t break any rules!) get the jive. Can’t wait. He’s training for the Olympics while also doing this, and I have NO idea how, but props to him. (Okay, how adorable are these two together? Is it me or is there chemistry screaming, but in a total cuteness kinda way? Ha!) And I finally get the outfits - it’s Pulp Fiction! Love it. Great opening - her choreo is so fresh and fun. I just love it. (Cheryl? Watch out! There’s a new kid in town and she’s gunning!) They are just SO great to watch. Fun, entertaining, charisma out the wazoo and just riveting. WAY best of the night. I can’t imagine anyone, even Cheryl & Ian, topping that one. He had an absolute blast out there and it showed. I think he was ready to do it all over again the second it was over. Judges - Carrie Ann? Shut up. Man, she is really being a harsh buzz killer tonight. A bit too much so - it’s ENTERTAINMENT, CA. Lighten up already. Bruno - said he’s so much fun he should be a ride at Disneyland. I’d buy tickets. Len - cranky’s it up about god forbid they have a cute opening (didn’t say anything about John & Edyta’s tho) but lked it well enough. Who pissed in their collective Wheaties tonight anyway? I’m going to go back to just giving scores and ignoring them. Scores - 7, 8, 8 = 23 Which was a point or two shy for me. But enough for the lead. For now.

Kym & Joey are up and it’s a Star Wars theme for them, so R2D2 stops by. I totally don’t get any of how that meshes with the tango, but here we go. Very over the top Star Wars theme music complete with laser sound effects for a tango. I think it overshadows the dance in a huge way, which is very well done, but my god that music was loud. Scores? 8, 8, 8 = 24 so they edge out Apolo/Julianne, which, okay, they were technically good. But the other two were way more fun to watch.

And, have I mentioned how much I love Tom?? Love. Him.

Cheryl & Ian get the jive and Ian gets schooled by some Chippendale’s dancers (and didn’t look too shabby up there body wise…but yeah, he really needs to loosen up those hips.) Here we go… they get Elvis and a leaping off the stage Ian. It’s a very tightly choreographed routine, which we’ve come to expect from her and she definitely doesn’t let us down. Ian really throws it out there and he is looser than he has been, which is partly due to Cheryl choreo-ing to his strengths, and to hers, as she has with past partners. This is very good, and very well done. (They need new cameramen tho.) Still, I have to say, Apolo/Julianne for pure entertainment/character value was hands down better than this one. I think it’s just their amazing charisma that sells them so well, because technique wise this and Joey’s were better. But not the ones I’d rewatch. Wow, the judges are really pissing me off. Scores? 8, 8, 8 = 24

Leeza & Tony - okay, I know Leeza is a nice person and tries to be very motivating to others, but, maybe it’s me. Sigh. She’s just coming off a wee sanctimonious/preachy/self-indulgent to me now. I can see why the audience isn’t warming up to her. She’s just got this sort of barrier around her, and what isn’t there in a uber-control-freak kinda way, is there in attitude. Leeza, really, I fear it’s your turn. (America? Please don’t Sanjaya Leeza! I beg you.) They get the tango and no suprises. Her dress/hat/hair is hideous (not her fault) and the dance is stiff and soooo slow, even for a tango. (Her fault.) FF past the judges because it’s really late and I don’t need to be pissed off anymore than I already am. Scores? 8, 8, 8 = 24. I can’t even respond to that. Just. No.

Rrrrrrr.

Heather & Jonathan have the jive, which should be quite the challenge. But then I thought that about the mambo. Still, the mechanics of her body simply do not, uh, jive, with the jive and there really isn’t any overcoming that part, so I have NO idea what they’re going to do, but I find myself already rooting for her. So, wow, she goes and gets a bouncy artificial limb (this is where having a ton of money comes in real handy) but, you know, cool! Science is neat! So, they do go for it, and they distract with some fancy tricks, but she does try and there is a little jive in there, and I say, well done for getting out there and going for it. I’m plugging my ears during the judging portion. Scores? 8, 8, 8 = 24 well earned. Quite fair.

Billy Ray & Elena finish out the evening with a tango. He’s a cutie, Elena is totally likable this season (Poland would even like her this year) and they get to Rock the Casbah. He looked the part, but there was a lot of bear in swamp in this, yet still, he’s way better than I thought he was capable of, and they’re fun to watch. Though arguably the worst in terms of technique this week, I don’t think he’s going home and I wouldn’t send him this week. Clyde, Leeza, and Shandi would go first, in terms of entertainment for me. Scores? 7, 7, 7 = 21 which was very kind, but made me happy.

Standings:

Ian & Cheryl = 24
Joey & Kym = 24
Heather & Jonathan = 24
Leeza & Tony = 24
Julianne & Apolo = 23
Karina & Billy Ray = 21
Shandi & Brian = 21
Maks & Laila = 21
Edyta & John = 20
Clyde & Elena = 16

I agree with last place, but that’s about it. For me, top four are Apolo, Laila, Joey, Ian. Middle three - Billy Ray, John , Heather. Bottom three - Shandi, Leeza, Clyde. I’d send Clyde ths week, but I have no idea who will actually go. Probably Shandi I’m thinking.

What do you think??

So, as you can see the time stamp above, this little author needs to get her beauty sleep. (I’ll be back next week. Kidding!) Bachelor Recap will have to wait. Idol tonight! Results show tonight! Too Much Reality….Not Enough Time!! Where are the elves when you need them?? (I think I’m channeling Tom.)

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Tags: Writing //