You know, that looks all kind of wrong, but was really funny when Tom said it. (Hi Tom!)

Strap yourselves in, it’s Marathon MAC Wednesday!!

On Dancing With The Stars….

Uncle Lenny spanked our dancers, complaining that they weren’t averaging the same practice hours as last season’s stars (13 vs 19, so yeah, a bit of a difference there.) But then, these guys are also doing things like, oh, competing in the world cup and training for the Olympics. So lighten up, Lenny! This is supposed to be a fun show, not Boot Camp.

Beyond that, Maks!!!!! With no shirt!!!! (Hey. Don’t hate me because I’m shallow.)

So, what was up with the music for Maks & Laila? Wow, horrifying parade music for the paso doble? But, I’ll admit that I agree with Bruno that it wasn’t all the fiery. Maybe Maks made it too hard, because it looked like she was really just concentrating on hitting all her steps. Not a lot of confident power in that performance. (But - Maks! No Shirt! I forgive a lot.) (Again, Samantha with the weird Granny-Bun-In-Storm look. Scores: 7, 7, 7, = 21. Fair.)

Okay, how much do we love Apolo & Julianne? T-H-I-S much love, I say! Great rehearsal sequence and, though I agree with their fear of being too young to fully appreciate the waltz, I was really excited to see them perform it. Okay, he had me at the touch of her chin. Sigh. Did I mention I love these two? To go from what I thought (pffft Uncle Lenny) was such a fun, great routine to Pulp Fiction last week, to this? Yeah, these two are in it for the long haul. Because that? Was wonderful. The crowd ate it up, and I did, too. Bruno and Carrie Ann also swooned, then Cranky Lenny had to be a buzz kill. Honestly, who pissed in his Earl Grey? I didn’t think his criticism was on point at all. They went well past learning the routine (that was Laila tonight) to give a beautiful, well rounded performance. In fact, they are the only ones I watch over again, and could repeatedly. They are just that fun to watch. Pffft, Uncle L! Scores - 9, 8, 9 = 26

This week we get Leather Leeza & Tony doing the paso doble, which, I had hoped she’d get the waltz, something that would flatter her stiffness, but no. I guess it was just as well - she has to be able to break that barrier and, well, not so much as it turns out. She’s uber controlled and even when she thinks she’s being naughty girl, again, not so much. She’s too clearly play acting and not all that well, to boot. Sorry, Tony! I don’t think there’s anything you can do here. Bottom two again for me. And, though I’m not in love here, or even in like, Carrie Ann is nice and give constructive criticism, Bruno gives us one of his delightfully demented analogies…and Lenny is just downright cruel. Does he think we need a Simon? Well, sir, you’re no Simon. You just come off as cranky and unhip. Scores - 6, 5, 5 = 16. Fair.

Ian & Cheryl get the waltz (to some godawful song I wanted her to STOP SINGING almost immediately.) But their waltz, if you could shut out the bombastic singing, was lovely. You can see, when compared to Apolo/Julianne, how much more professional and polished this is, a credit to Cheryl’s choreo experience and good teaching. However, while they were lovely and elegant to watch, definitely earning a great score…I had way more fun watching the other two. Way. Sorry, Cheryl! You were more fun with Emmitt, and more fun with Drew. We need more of that! Somehow. (Also? Wasn’t fond of the hair extensions. Too long, so they hung lank and limp, very detracting from an otherwise lovely performance.) The crowd enjoys it, but not nearly the crazed enthusiasm after Apolo and Julianne. They just bring the cuteness. So, naturally Lenny LOVED this because it was boring and elegant, as apparently he thinks ballroom should be. Sigh. Then Bruno saves the night by calling him Dr McStiffy (HA!) and has no idea why the audience snickers. I love you, Bruno. Scores - 7, 9, 8 = 24 (I would have given it an 8., so it all evened out.)

John & Edyta get the paso doble. This should be interesting. (And Edyta has clearly decided to pretend Lenny doesn’t exist and go for the audience, as she is using costuming and role playing. We might as well just ff through Uncle Lenny’s response to this.) Very very sweet when John’s 91 yr old mom surprises him during rehearsal. Awwww! How delightful was she?
They get another song that overpowers and distracts from the dance,which was kind of all over the place, but I wonder if it was the music making it hard to concentrate. Dunno. Kinda bottom 2 for me this week - so sorry John! They all agree with me. Ah well. Scores - 6, 5, 5 = 16 And yeah, deserved. Awww.

Clyde & Elena get the waltz. I think this is his best chance to look good. But if the rehearsal footage is any indication…I’m not holding my breath. I think we have three teams vying for bottom 2 again this week. And none of them are Billy Ray. Honestly, after week 1, who’da thunk that? Judges are harsh. Scores - 6, 4, 5 = 15 Ouch, Lenny!

Three left…and I love Tom!

Karina & Billy Ray. Yay! I enjoy them (for completely different reasons) as much as I do Apolo and Julianne. Who would have ever thought I’d say that about Karina??? But the crying? Yeah, that was very last season, however Billy Ray does the self deprecating thing better than anyone. They will stay no matter what their dance looks like now. On him, the hair and goatee look good, the music is hot (finally - Black Betty? Seriously? Dang, Stoner Music Dude, I didn’t know you had it in you!) and while he will always be Billy Ray, non-dancer, they are very entertaining to watch. He nails the bullfighter if not the dance (like, at all) and Karina does know how to bring the heat. Crowd dug that. Ha! Take that Unca Lenny. And you know, then Uncle Len goes and SHOCKS me by recognizing how hard Billy Ray is working. I don’t know who was more stunned, me or BR. Loved the look on his face. Clearly Lenny was majorly pissed at lack of committment this week and by acknowledging they put in more work than anyone else, made it clear he’ll forgive a lot if you do the time. Nice to know. Carrie Ann sums up my feelings exactly by calling it “oddly awkward, sexy, strange and hot all at the same time.” Scores -7, 7, 7 = 21

Heather & Jonathan get the waltz, which proves trickier for her prosthetic leg than the faster ones due to prolonged balancing. They get lovely music and I think he choreo’d very well for her. It was lovely. I didn’t expect to like her as much, but she’s growing on me. You know she’s doing well when she’s that much more graceful and elegant than Leeza, with all that to conquer. Bruno gives Jonathan credit for the choreo, then Carrie Ann buzz kills all over the place, and Lenny agrees with Bruno. What a turnaround, Unca Len. Scores -7, 8, 8 = 23 Very fair.

Last up is Joey & Kym, who get the paso and hopefully nothing Star Wars. Was I the only one who didn’t like that at all? But this week? Excellent opening. If I didn’t know he was such a jokester, I’d have probably appreciated it even more, because they tackled it very seriously this time. It was really, really good. Hot, almost. Well done, Kym! By far the best paso of the night, and by far the best couple in terms of the skill of both partners being there and one not carrying the other. (Yes, even better than Apolo -though he’s still my favorite cutie patootie.) Standing O. That is what Ian and Cheryl need to do.
Judges loved it, too. Scores - (I’m thinkin 9’s) - 10, 9, 9 = 28. The ten was high, but the 9’s well earned.

Ranking -
Joey/Kym - 28
Apolo/Julianne 26
Cheryl/Ian 24
Heather/Jonathan 23
Billy Ray/Karina 21
John/Edyta
Leeza/Tony 16
Clyde/Elena 15

My bottom two - Clyde, Leeza. With John a close third. Any of them could go and I’d be fine with it.

Speaking of which - last night was elimination night. Since this is already Marathon MAC, we’ll skip right to Bottom Two: Okay, no we won’t. Big and Rich were the guest singers and WOOOT! Drew Lachey was back to Ride a Cowboy with Cheryl. LOVED it. That was so much fun!! He hung right in there with Alec & Tony. Oh, and Joey and Kim rightfully (this time - should have been Apolo last week) get the encore. Okay, shew, now Bottom Two - Not Clyde! It’s Leeza & John. And going home? Leeza & Tony Which is bad news for them, but good news for a whole lot of Blog Babes who guessed right tonight!

Now, if you’re still with me…some Idol MAC!

It’s J Lo / Latin Music week and we are down to the Top 8 singers.

MindyDoo is up first and picks Sway (which I loooove). I’m liking JLo as a mentor. She seems really into it, and a true fan of the show itself, which always makes it more fun. Cute hair, MindyDoo! And she brings the smoulder…as much as a cutie patootie like her can. Another great pro performance. And that dress is kickin! I predict Simon will think it’s dated and not young, and I don’t care. Joyful as always. Judges - Randy dug it. Paula says subtle and sexy. Simon didn’t like it. (I told you so!) For the very reason I stated. Do I know him or what? Scary, that. But I also think it’s a bit of reverse psychology for the fans, since she’s first up. Let’s remember she still needs votes to stay. I think a lot of fans think she’s safe and vote elsewhere to keep their other faves in. So, if that is the case, all is forgiven.

They are starting out with the powerhouses tonight. LaKiki is next. She tackles Conga and I say again, JLo? Favorite mentor thus far, and I didn’t think she would be. Fun! Judges - I actually agree with…Paula? It was kind of generic. She’s good, but it wasn’t wow. Simon says it’s a performance song, not a singer’s song. Agreed.

Chris is next, singing Smooth. He gets the pimp spot, with musicians on stage with him. It’s a good grooving song, and while I think JLo’s advice helped, he’s no Rob Thomas. I’m not a fan of his wavery sound. It’s easily the most contemporary so far, though, in making it sound current. I’m just not in love with his voice, but that’s nothing new. For his fans, they should love it. The performance was good. Judges - Randy’s loving everyone. Paula says its hot. Simon says it was more contemporary - so I’m totally channeling him. Or he’s channeling me. Scary squared.

Now we get Haley who takes Turn the Beat Around, which, like the other Estefan song tonight, more performance than singer’s song, but Haley is only getting by on that, so I guess good choice. So were the hot pants. At least girl knows her strengths. Otherwise? Karaoke. And she ran out of breath with the long vocal runs. First Bottom 2 of the night, but I say that every week. She’s still the only Sexy One, so I’m thinking she’ll stay based on guy vote. Judges - Randy finally keeps it real and uses karaoke (my god, they’re both channeling me!) and Paula also agrees with me. Simon also outs her strategy (like we all didn’t know) and what can she say?

Phil is up with Maria, Maria, who still can’t open a song to save his life. But the boy can close a song and I guess that’s all peopld remember. He might have opened marginally better, but I wasn’t into it. Can’t say he even got better as it went along, he’s still Bottom 2 for me. Sorry, Phil. Judges - Randy agrees. Paula disagrees. Simon says he’s a nice guy, good song, but no originality and can’t get excited about. Same goes. (And the hat? I so hate the hat.)

Jordin picks Rhythm is Gonna Get You. So, why wasn’t this just Gloria Estefan night? Her voice is strong, and she looks great, but I didn’t get the outfit with the copa-like song. Anyway - good rendition, but it’s another performance song and she tries to make it a singer’s song, in a too low register that ends up keeping it kinda boring. She’s good, but this? Not a favorite. As much as I loved last week for almost everyone, so far, no one has wowed me. Come on, Blake don’t let me down! Judges? Randy got something out of it I didn’t. Paula gushes. And Simon? Still totally channeling me. It’s getting downright weird as I’m writing this as I watch, then he goes and says almost verbatim what I just typed. Anyway, he agrees. It’s just not a wow night. Too bad.

Blake picks one of my favorite songs, Need to Know, which is, coincidentally (or not) by JLo’s husband, Marc Antony. I think he’ll put his own vibe on this one fairly well. Seems like a good choice up front. Let’s see how it pans out. (And you can totally tell who her faves are - poker face Stefani she is not. But it’s kinda cute.) Three notes in, I’m sold 100 percent on this. As good as Time of the Season and then some. They might get on him for putting the same sound on his songs, but I think that is his strength, mostly because I happen to totally dig his sound and think it’s what makes him a potential star. He doesn’t go generic. He stands out. Watch out, MindyDoo…I think our dark horse ain’t so dark no more. Oh, and Phil? That’s how to wear a hat. And then ouch, the refrain? Wow, not strong. Just the wrong key. Should be down one lower. Otherwise, nailed it, but that was a shame. Judges - Randy says best song choice of the night. Paula says it captured who he was. Simon says best song choice, best performance so far. Agreed.

And we end the night with….Sanjaya. Because, why not, right? I feel like he’s just a guest star on this show at this point. I don’t even count him anymore. It’s 8 competitors, and Sanjaya. Regular rules ceased to apply to him a long time ago. He’d taking on a spanish song whose title escaped me, and as he has with other guest mentors, he impressed JLo, too. Must be the sweet spirit of him or something. And I think the soft voice plays better one on one. Aaaaand, here we go. Definitely a ballad well suited for his soft voice and the fact that he’s singing in Spanish will send legions of fans into deep swoon. The five o clock shadow and shaggy curls won’t hurt either. I’m just amazed at how he transforms himself each week. I have to say, he does keep me wondering what he will do from one Tuesday to the next. I enjoy him, just for reasons that have nothing to do with this being a singing competition. Which, unfortunately for him (us?), it is. Judges? Randy gives him props. As does Paula. Simon says it wasn’t horrible. Which pained him greatly, but, you know, I agree.

My bottom two are still Phil, Haley. I fear though, as the military vote will keep Phil in, the pin up vote will keep Haley in, so yet another, better singer will depart before his or her time. Hard to say who will keep them company this week, but it won’t be Sanjaya. So..I’d be very afraid MindyDoo and LaKiki. Nothing to do with your singing, but I think going early really hurt you guys. Just hearing the replay clips, Melinda sounds wonderful comparatively speaking, yet, by going first, we lost this. I think tonight is going to hurt. And it might be LaKisha. (Nooooo!!!!)

So…discuss!

And vote! You have until 8pm EST to get your Idol vote in, still plenty of time to get your Survivor pick. See Monday’s blog for details!

Happy Hump Day, y’all!

Tags: Writing //