This week the SHaQ Attack contest, she is easy. Honestly, at some point I’m going to make you guys really have to hunt for it, but I just turned in revisions and am quite suddenly up for a promotion at my “play” job, so it’s been a cah-razy week or two. (Which, I know, how does one distinguish that from a normal week for me. Ha ha. Very amusing. True. But, don’t be cute about it.) So, with the two remaining brain cells that I have left to rub together (which will likely just make them smaller, rather than have that genie-lamp effect) I am tossing this one out there. An easy lob, so to speak. (Speaking of lobs, how cute is our little Bagh-daddy, Marcos? What a great smile. His forehand isn’t too shabby, either. And yet, another of my faves bites the red dust of Roland Garros. Pout.)

And….I digress. So. Contest. The question is: Name the book where I get to talk about Ranger. Yes, blog babes, it’s shameless plug week, but I’m ridiculously excited this release. Send your answers to donna@donnakauffman.com with “Ranger…yum!” in the subject line (or “well, duh” because….yeah, it’s that easy.)

So…yesterday I was supposed to blog about Pirate Master. And, in fact, I did blog about Pirate Master….then forgot to actually, you know, post the blog. When I went to finally do it, I managed to somehow delete the whole thing. Now, not that the show was all that bad, but I wasn’t as upset about the loss as, say, if I had deleted an entire Amazing Race recap.

Anyhow….here is a recap of the recap. First, our host, some Aussie who is Less Phil-ing but kinda cute, gets all entirely serious about these wannabe pirates climbing aboard a Pirates of the Caribbean set ship. Now, one thing I don’t get. Are they wearing costumes…or not? Because it seems rather random, the “outfits” they’re wearing. The women especially. It’s a corset - it’s a sports bra! Wha? Then there are the players/contestants/pirates/actors… Are they making this stuff up as they go along, or is it scripted? Or are they just talking like they think Pirates in a bad high school play would talk? Seriously. I’m not really getting the vibe of this.

However, I did like the treasure hunt. I didn’t like the Chippendale Bill Nye with a Six Pack Pirate. Way to shoot yourself completely in both feet, John. Sheesh. I thought Puking Pirate was going home, and should have, but nooooooo. Of course no one thought that Rupert 2.0 was going anywhere. And the Pirate Master dude…wow, does he think he’s in a movie? All serious as hell about playing his role, you know? Because, if that’s how he is in real life….yikes.

Honestly. I couldn’t decide whether to care, or laugh hysterically watching this show. I did love it when they all picked Serious Pirate Master Dude, then Les Phil-ing announces he gets half of the gold they all just killed themselves to win. A hahahahaha.

So…I will keep watching. For now. But it’s like some huge cosmic reality joke is being played on us. Like they’re testing us to see just how far they can go into weirdsville and we’ll keep watching. It’s like a play about a reality program. Or something. I really wish it was a musical. I would dearly love it if they all, suddenly, were to break out into song and cool pirate choreography.

Hey, a girl can dream. It’s summer. And all I’ve got other than this is Dirty Uncle Nigel. So go with me on this.

Which…Dancing tonight! Yay! Is it Vegas Week this time? Since I missed the last round of auditions and Fox refuses to play like the Big Boys and have full length episodes on their website, I have no idea where we go tonight, but I’m game to find out.

More MAC in the morning!

Tags: Writing //