Well…that would be me. Better late than never, and this is about as late as it gets!

So, 18 dancers/9 pairs are left on our favorite Dance Show. Cat Deeley still manages to be the cutest thing ever despite the fact that she towers over the dancers by a good ten feet. I would kill to know how she does that. This week we get Dirty Uncle Nigel, Crack Mary and Emo Mia as our judges.

First pair up tonight is Lauren (hip hop) and Neil (contemp) who get hip hop with new choreo dude Dave Scott, who I already love five seconds into the rehearsal footage. Their performance is definitely better than their samba last week, but while I love it, and think they look good, Neil does a great job considering it’s not his niche, but I sort of thought Lauren would bring more to it. She’s good, but not wow. Maybe she was afraid of outshining her partner, I don’t know. Judges agree, more or less, and none of us think they are in danger of being bottom three…and we move on.

Next is Pasha (latin ballroom) and Jessi (contemp), who get a seriously whack bird oriented jazz routine from, who else, Tice. I will say they totally give themselves over to it and do about as good a job as anyone could do with that routine, but I worry that people won’t “get it.” Mia does, of course, and drools. Mary screams and Nigel nods sagely. No bottom three threat here they say, and I agree they shouldn’t be, but I worry. Early in the rotation and a weird routine, plus a lot of people don’t seem to like Jessi from what I read on my fave little TWOP bb’s. Maybe it’s just us. We’ll see.

Going third tonight is Hok (street) and Jaimie (contemp) and let me say this right off..Jaimie? You need to stop ending every single sentence like it’s a question? K? They get samba and I’m so proud of Hok with his gorgeous grin. He does give it his all, and they tackle it with gusto, and from a performance standpoint, damn they’re fun, but I’m afraid from a strict quality standpoint, they aren’t going to be up to snuff. However, Hok is so popular, I think that, if nothing else, that will get them through this round.

Up next is Dominic (street) and Sabra (contemp), who won some hearts last week with their big hearts. Can they do it again? They get a contemp routine from new choreo babe Mandy Moore (no, not that Mandy Moore) which again goes toward the somewhat whack, but more understandable from a contemp than a jazz standpoint (Tice!) They actually do really well and I’m really impressed with Dominic for how much he puts into this routine. You expect gorgeousness from Sabra and she totally delivers, but there is a definite connection with these two and Dominic’s heart is just bleeding all over the damn place and so you have to love him a little. Plus, not an easy routine and pretty darn lovely as it turns out. Judges all agree. We’ll see how it holds up tomorrow. I think just from effort and determination they deserve another week.

Fifth couple tonight is Faina (ballroom) and Cedric (crazy liquid boy). They get foxtrot with retro guy Hunter Thompson (doesn’t he look like he was digitally lifted from some 40’s movie?) and, I’m so sorry, because I Heart Cedric a lot, but this isn’t up to snuff. And Faina, who is lovely, just can’t lift Cedric into the realm he needs to be in to compete here. Even Dominic is finding more inner dancer, so….I’m seeing bottom three here. Not Faina’s fault, but still. The judges pretty much tear Cedric down to his core matter and that’s tough, even though true. Like, don’t you think he knows that already, Nigel? Sheesh. Let the boy get booted in peace why doncha.

Now we have Amazing Lace (swing) and Kameron (contemp), who have Krazy Khemistry and way above average showmanship skillz. Love her or not, you can’t deny the girl knows how to perform. They get Broadway from Tice (scare!) but it’s actually performable and not whack. These two are great (woo, a Racy Lacey!) and every single second is wonderful and fun to watch. I just enjoy their chemistry together. Riveting pair, here. Judges all agree. I don’t think they have to worry. She’s so good she’ll just outdance the Benji Backlash and dare people not to vote for her.

Seventh up is Danny (contemp) and Anya (latin ballroom) who, another chemistry couple, but mostly because Danny oozes it out of every single pore of his body, so whoever he partners is lucky. And Anya gives a lot back in return, too, though I just don’t connect with her as personally. They get an incredibly hot Viennese Waltz routine and they’re just amazing. No worries for those two. The judges are still drooling somewhere.

Next to last is Jimmy and Shauna (both contemp) and they get hip hop from (thank god) Dave Scott, who has to do something better than that horrible Oz routine they got last week (Tice!) Love the routine, Jimmy really brings it, Shauna leaves me kinda meh, the step routine didn’t really work for me in this venue, and I worry just a tiny bit that they will take Hok/Jaimie’s spot in the bottom three.

Last up is Chuy (street.contemp) and Sarah (street) who get paso doble with that weird little Jean Marc dude and his crazy red jello haired wife, who somehow choreos some pretty interesting routines. Sarah has never been in heels, neither has done ballroom, much less partner dancing…this should be interesting. The routine totally fascinates me. They dance the paso to, I’m not kidding, Queen’s We Will Rock You. Which is alternately amazing and just plain crazy. All things considered, they really were amazing, with only the music sort of hindering them (in my estimation anyway.) Any other couple, this might have been bottom three, but only by a hair, however, given their learning curve, they should stay.

My Bottom Three picks? Faina/Cedric (he should go home), Shauna/Jimmy (she should go home), and, hate to say it, Hok and Jaimie. Though it might be Chuy/Sara. Both faced a stiff learning curve, and Hok’s fan base will probably save him, but I think Chuy/Sara did a better job and faced stiffer odds.

Will I be right? Will I be wrong? Fortunately I have the answers a mere TiFaux click away.

Results Night!

Let’s just get right to it - most satisfying safe couple of the night? Dominic and Sabra who do a full on body plant on the stage as they writhe around in their absolute shock and glee at getting another week. So, yeah, I’m a sucker for that. Not as satisfying safe couple is Hok and Jaimie. Now, I love Hok and I don’t want to see him in the bottom three anymore than the rest of every man woman and child in America, but he probably deserved it over some others and I’d hate to see someone more deserving go home, so…Chuy/Sara are in danger. Except no….it’s Pasha and Jessi. Whu? I know it was a whack routine (Tice!) but still….what is America smoking?

Rounding out the bottom three, to no surprise, is Faina/Cedric and Jimmy/Shauna. My exit choices still stand. That is, until they all do their Dance of Death. Jessi and Pasha both phone it in, though at least Pasha tried to mix it up a little, given doing a ballroom solo is just plain weird anyway. Jimmy was good as always, but Shauna…..damn, girl, that was great! So now I’m totally confused. Send Jessi home, when clearly she’s a great dancer but obviously not well loved by the public and, hey, she phoned it in (what WAS that outfit, btw? The new babydoll bedroom line inspired by Heidi?) Okay, then Cedric is also totally amazing in his liquid boy form, and Faina does a fair job, though not as good as last week. So….I’m thinking it might be Faina and Cedric. Another couple bites the dust.

But why should anything make logical sense? First, Pasha and Jessi do get the phoning it in lecture, but are safe, and really, they should be. But glad they were warned that just because the judges all said they didn’t belong there was no excuse not to give it their all. Then we’re left with Faina and Shauna and after Shauna’s amazing DoD, you knew it was going to be Faina. Which, at least she made it one week longer than her brother, but I think her partner selection really, truly screwed her over. But what can you do? So Faina’s gone.

Leaving us with the no brainer decision between Jimmy and Cedric. Except Mia goes insane and decides that maybe Cedric really is the amazing growing boy and Jimmy is just great but oh well, them’s the breaks? I don’t get this, and neither does Crack Mary, who, surprisingly sanely thinks it should be Cedric leaving. Leaving Nigel to be the tie breaker and, after already sacrificing a better dancer to the kid last week, to intense backlash from the public, saves Cedric one last time (after telling him he wasn’t right for this competition and after hearing Cedric saying he was at peace with leaving, given all he’d already gotten.) So…we’re sorry, Jimmy, thank you for playing and here’s your crappy parting gift. Truly wrong. On every level.

This is the hard part about this competition being so strong this year, every week it’s just going to get tougher and we’re just going to care more. I can’t wait for tomorrow night!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. Details in Monday’s blog.

Tags: Writing //