….first elimination night, and there are no surprises yet this season.

We get a run down of the past two nights, then Sabrina and Mark for the encore…and then the announcement of the first batch of couples who are safe.

They put Sabrina/Mark out of their non-misery (because, yeah, she’s annoying, but they so weren’t going home this week) by proclaiming them safe right off the bat, then add Jenny (who was looking a bit stressed there)/Derek to the list. I’m happy for this, because as worried as she is about all this, she does seem to really want to be part of it, and I want to see her come into her own during the process.

We get a quick glimpse of Dolly’s ginormous boobs (boy, and I thought Survivor Ashley’s filled the screen) aaaand, commercial break. (Btw, Tom? Makes his job look way too easy. Because Drew? Can’t even come close. And I love him, but stick to dancing!) Paging Cat Deeley… (Wouldn’t she be ridiculously cute with Tom?)

So, it’s time for Dolly to sing and we get her hit 9-5, which I always love because it just makes you tap your toes and feel perky and I loved that movie (I am SO OLD you guys…) - and a great one-two pro combo punch of Julianne/Mark (remember, they dance together professionally,so SQUEE! I can’t wait for this!) and Cheryl/Derek, because you know, you can’t have too many Houghs. Okay, so she’s not cranking it vocally, but major kudos for NOT lip syncing. And how tiny is she anyway? Teeny that’s how tiny. It’s sort of a shame the boobs are part of her “persona” because she’d be cute as the dickens without em. As it is, they are damn distracting. So…the dancers!

What’s the verdict on Cheryl’s longer, softer hairstyle? I’m okay with it, but maybe I’m in the minority of those who really liked her spiky, sassy look from before. She and Derek are crazy fast and good. And, um….I’m guessing Julianne is no longer embracing all of her LDS tenets, at least not the ones that aren’t too crazy about showing lotsa skin. But she’s so darn cute, and she looks so great, hey, who can blame her?? Not I. I’d be naked in the Safeway every damn day if I looked like her. And I like her Crazy Blondie hair. Not nearly enough couples dancing for me - I want to see more of her and Mark, not more of her and….Cheryl? But fun number!

We get the obligatory audience input segment, which I normally wouldn’t recap, except it produced my favorite line of the season thus far. Regarding Cam, a woman in the audience said that when he smiled, it made her want to “skinny dip in his eyes.” Exactly!

On we go with the next two safe couples from the men’s side. Helio/Julianne make it through in the Duh category. Albert “Blue Steel”/Anna make it through, so my eye candy is partially secured for another week. Always a bonus.

Savion Glover is next and I heart Savion since he was a wee tappin’ tot (because I’m OLD y’all) so I am excited to see him perform. And I love that this is actually going to be an ongoing segment of the results shows, bringing out the best in various genres of dance to perform for us. Makes more sense than having singers, to be honest. If we can have one singer do one song to which we get to see our pros dance, then a dancer perform, I’m all for that arrangement.

Savion was fine, even if the band did overshadow tapping a wee bit a times, but amazing stuff. Loved it! (And the pimpin’ Shrek boots.)

Okay, so here is where we don’t need a second song performance. It’s a DANCE show folks. But….whatever. And the message of the song was a great one. Now, more filler, but it’s not the only-funny-once Kimmel segments. No, we get Kenny Mayne, who I happen to think is deadpan hilarious, so, at least this one time I’m more than willing to enjoy the fluff. And, I’ll admit I laughed at the caveman guy. He should be SO unfunny by now, and yet, I did guffaw. I’m somewhat ashamed of that, but there it is. Never let it be said I don’t share everything in my MAC.

Back to the parts that matter…Maks/Mel move on. As do Cam/Edyta. (Ahhh, my eye candy trifecta is complete.) Tom messes with Jane, then announces her safe. Yay, Jane/Tony. Also safe is Wayne/Cheryl. No one was more surprised (and….maybe a teeny tiny bit disappointed?) than Cheryl. Maybe she’s just overwhelmed with Geezer Choreo 101. I don’t know. But she’s great with him and really patient and supportive. Still, I don’t see him lasting as long as Jerry, George, or John.

Now we find out the Bottom Two, but in a rather convoluted way. I guess we’re getting bottom score from Monday, then bottom from Tuesday. Which? Not entirely fair probably, but since they’re only sending one home it doesn’t really matter. Bottom Score from Monday? Josie/Alec. And no one on the planet is surprised. Poor unfit Josie. But hey, she dated David Blaine and she looks killer in a bikini. I just can’t find myself feeling terribly bad for her. (So I’m old and cranky. My god, I’m turning into Uncle Lenny!! Say it ain’t so!!) And, to further my descent into Lennydom, I have to admit I was okay with watching Cuban squirm at the possibility of being in the Bottom Two. Gratifying moment. Even more gratifying?? I was SURE it was Floyd/Karina, but NO! NO, I say, America feels me on this, people, and I love them for it. They put Cuban in the Bottom Two, first week out. (Sorry, Kym!! It’s not about you!) Did he deserve it based on dance skill? No. But I find I’m not feeling all that fair about it. So, WOOT! And if he goes home before Deceptively Unfit Josie? Oh my. (Honestly, the evil laugh? Not mine. I only thought it.) The only one not thrilled with this turn of events? Floyd. HA!! To Karina’s credit (and we all know I have a history of not being her biggest fan) looked a lot more excited about the chance to work with her challenging partner than Cheryl did with hers.

Going home? Yup, Josie and Alec. Poor Alec did get pretty screwed after going home first round with Paulina last year. I think he has grounds to be a little pissy - getting the supermodel dancing klutz two seasons running. But he did win the first season, so maybe he’ll dig deep and find a little graciousness and come back next year. OKay, a lot of graciousness. And some Fructese. Or Tide. Whatever works. I did like that he tried to convince the audience to throw their votes toward his wife (he and Edyta have been together forever and just recently tied the knot!) And they were sweet in the crowd group hug afterward.

I’m so loving this season! Can’t wait for next week. Tomorrow is Survivor and Grey’s - don’t forget you can still enter to win a fre book this week. See Monday’s post for the details!!

Now I’m off to watch who gets booted from Top Chef this week. Go Dale! Go Casey! Go home Hung! (We’ll see!)

Tags: Writing //