Liiiiiive! Okay, not really. But it was while I typed this. Dancing with the Stars, Double Dance night! And right off the bat, I want to start a petition to replace Sam. Poor thing can’t go two seconds without flubbing lines and awkward phrasing. I just…really want someone else. Sorry, Sam! (But they didn’t have to punish her with that hair and that dress. Yikes. Even I’m not that punitive.)

Hi Tom!

We meet our dancers and find out that tonight they each dance twice. The first time, each celeb performs a dance they haven’t done as yet, for which the judges will score them. Then, at the end of the show, they do a group dance, which is only supposed to affect our scoring preferences. We’ll see about that!

So, Jenny’s “girls” are pretty….perky. Cheetah girl manages to keep hers under control. She actually looks pretty nice this evening. Dang! Marie looks the best I’ve seen her look all season. Finally! A flattering outfit and hair. But, as much as I love her, I must also say, her forehead is looking pretty suspiciously smooth. Just sayin. Maks n Mel look smokin’ hot, but that’s not news really.

So far it looks like wardrobe only had it in for Sam. And, come to think of it, that’s really understandable…

Jane and Tony are cute, Edyta and Cam are quite….strapping. The plainest of the bunch, surprisingly, are Julianne and Helio, but then after their undeserved smackdown last week, I guess they’re trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. So far, it’s working. Okay, after a long shot of Julianne’s dress, I might have to rescind that last comment. What is she wearing? Or not wearing, as the case may be?

First up are Sabrina & Mark. We learn that her hectic schedule is wearing her out and making it hard to retain the steps to this week’s dance. I can see why. But am I the only one who thinks it’s just….wrong, kinda, that here she is, being shown doing a music video, complete with dancing, for her next Cheetah Girls release, and so, you know, the word RINGER keeps floating through my mind. Not that it hasn’t already, but this just brings it home in a way I didn’t need to see. Still, I want her to do well. Things get tough this week and I want to truly see every pair do their very best, and then watch where the votes go.

They get the Fox Trot and they both do look wonderful in their black and white ensembles. This is the most lithe and lovely she’s looked so far. (Did they get a new wardrobe person? I mean, ya gotta wonder here. Now if we could just get a new cohost…. I know. But a girl can dream.) And off we go… They are both vibrant as always. And, again, they are both great (RINGER) as always, with their vibrancy - hers especially - on full tilt. But, as I feel every week, while it’s full tilt and you’d never know there was any fatigue or concern on her part, it’s the very full-tilt-i-ness of her performance, week in, week out, that puts me off a bit. She pounds the hell out of every single perfectly executed step, to the point where there’s no emotion in it for me. No real emotion, anyway. And definitely no connection in any personal way to her partner, other than a partner in professional looking full-tilt-i-ness. So, I think they are the best pair technically, and yet one of the the worst pairs emotionally. They impress the hell out of me. But they don’t move me. Ever.

(I have this vision, of putting Sabrina on So You Think You Can Dance, and making her work with Mia Michaels. Just for one week. Love to see what evolves from that.) Also - I’m a Woman? For a foxtrot? I do give them bonus scores for creating a dance that even began to work with that awful music choice. I say replace Sam AND fire the song selector while you’re at it. Lately they’ve been just atrocious.

Judges - Uncle Lenny bonds with me in total agreement of my full-tilt-i-ness assessment. Bruno agrees she has to tone it down at times. Carrie Ann, on the other hand, brings her Go Grrrrrl Power cheers and says she loved it. Whatever. Scores? 9, 8, 8 = 25.

Next is Jenny and Derek. I thought they were wrongly slammed last week, so am interested to see how they handle the mambo this week, since Latin is harder for her. I want them to knock everyone’s socks off! She admits that instead of getting more comfortable in the spotlight, she’s getting more panicked each week. A shame, because she really is a very good dancer. I hope Derek gets her through it somehow so we can see her really tackle it. (But picturing Uncle Lenny in his briefs! ACK! My eyes!)

Here we go - tricky move right off the bat, done pretty darn well. And the music seems to be mambo oriented, so that’s a bonus. Derek’s choreo is great and innovative, as always, but Jenny is clearly holding back. I mean, she’s a’smilin’ and a’dancin’ but it’s not as loosey goosey as it should be in this kind of dance. Waah! All in all, though, it was pretty cute.

Judges? Bruno says she had steam heat, dirty dancing. He loved it, and gives Derek choreo props. Carrie Ann agrees. (Maybe I didn’t “feel” it as much from here as they did there - I’m glad they did!) Uncle Lenny says they pulled out all the stops and loved it. Derek is thrilled for her. I’m happy, too!

Tom mentions that tomorrow’s night’s musical guest is Barry Manilow. Now, I loved him helping the singers out on Idol this past year as his heart was clearly in it. But I don’t know that I want to see him actually, you know, sing. Anymore. Ever. Maybe the pro dancers will help. Alot. Also we get an exhibition dance from Carrie Ann and Bruno’s 2008 series, Dance Wars. I’m interested!

We head back stage for scores in time to see Julianne enthusiastically hugging Jenny for her triumph - aww! Gotta love the Hough Kids. Sam, however? Shut up. Scores? 9, 9, 9 = 27. No Sam, really. Just stop.

Next we get Jane and Tony. I do like her and I think Tony partners her very well. But, don’t hate, it’s just, I’m kinda getting over these two. Elegance is wonderful, but I want to see her get down and go all Maks n Mel on our behinds. Just me? Seeing as they were bottom two, clearly not. Well, tonight they get the jive, so maybe we’ll see Jane get down and lighten up for us.

Here we go…They get Modern Love for their jive, which, you’d think would work, except….not so much. Still, they go for it. It’s cute, but somehow awkward to me. Mostly I blame the odd beat of the music. And the fact that it seems really slow for this dance. It doesn’t “jive” with their jive. They needed something a lot perkier. Jane looked great in her outfit. So there is that.

Judges? Carrie Ann thought it was fun, but off kilter for Jane. Agreed. Len agrees that she’s a Nifty Fifty (something) - also agreed - but that the dance didn’t suit her. Man, the Lenny Bonding knows no bounds with me tonight. Scary, really. Bruno parrots the other two and hopes she gets something more suitable to her strengths next week. Scores? 8, 7, 7 = 22 (Okay, I totally ff’d through the Sam Portion. I can’t listen to her any longer.)

Now we get Cam & Edyta doing their samba. Okay, the Little Brazil segment with Cam and the little girl was cute. (I’m such a sap for those things. Okay, okay, so he’s not hard on the eyes. Yes, I’m shallow like that! Sue me. Just leave the little girl out of it.) Here we go — okay, so it’s a total fix because they get true, hardcore samba music. Which I LOVE! More of that, Music Selection Dudes! A shame poor Edyta is so shy and introverted, isn’t it? (Hell, if I looked like her, I’d be dressed like that in the veggie aisle at Wegman’s - no lie.) They look rather….limbic together, don’t they? Dang. He’s not as good a natural dancer as Jane, and probably did about as well with this as she did with hers….and yet, did I care? Do I have anything negative to say? Was Cameron rotating his pelvis like Elvis on crack? I mean, come on! What wasn’t to love? Twice? Yes, yes, their last move stalled when he didn’t slide, but really, who was watching that part? I was already rewinding…

Judges? Len says all the technical elements were there without the spirit. Clearly he wasn’t watching Cam’s hips, which, you know, I’m okay with not envisioning that. Bruno - says it was too….tribal. Ooookay. Carrie Ann gets it, she saw the primal quotient, but then, DUH, she’s a woman who clearly WAS watching Cam’s hips…and everything else that swiveled. There is justice. Scores - 9, 8, 8 = 25

Mel n Maks are up next. Woot! They get the rumba. Yikes. This could either be the hottest thing evah….or–no, it’s going to be hot. I mean, honestly, how could it not be with these two this season? They better get good music. Dang, y’all. She looks hott and he is fine as always, the music is downright sinuous and…..whew, can someone open a window in here? The only criticism I have is that, for the first time this season, they each seemed to be in their own little worlds and not dancing with each other, which is kind of a must in this sexy dance. So a teeny bit disappointed there. I don’t think Maks even looked at her for the whole first half of the dance. Shame on you, Big Guy! But he totally made up for in Part 2. Yowza. (Loved the between his legs slide…but then, what woman wouldn’t really?) Loved the ending with Mel on Bruno’s lap (he’ll be unable to string words together now) and, even more, Maks leaning over and whispering in Carrie Ann’s ear. Sigh. I need a fan. And some ice.

Judges? Bruno essentially loses his mind. Ha! Carrie Ann is still panting. Len gets all rap star on us, but he loved it, too. Even if he didnt’ get any love there at the end. (Teach you to give them a 9.) Easily the dance of the night so far. I see some high marks in their immediate, well deserved future. Scores - (for the love of god, gag Sam, somebody? Anybody? Bueller? I’ll pay.) Our Tom stutters as Mel writhes all over him and Maks wipes the sweat from our host’s brow. Very cute these two, like mischievous school children. Scores? 10, 10, 10 = 30.

Yay, Jonny and Marie are up next (I thought they’d get the dance out, tonight, but I guess that goes to Helio and Julianne. Again. Hunh.) These two get the paso, so I’m excited to see where they go with it. Jonathan is clearly a great partner to her, love how he handles her in practice. I heart him. And here we go - the music is almost too over the top bullfighter and also a bit slow - needs more bang! It was, unfortunately, a very lackluster dance. Waah! I am so disappointed. I still say the circus music didn’t help them, either. Almost afraid to listen to the judges.

Judges - Carrie Ann says it was nice, but that they played it safe. (Agreed, much as I hate to say it.) Len liked the start, not happy with the middle, but liked the end. Bruno is mean, for Bruno anyway, and Marie looks sad, and the audience Doesn’t Like Marie Sad, so they boo. I can understand that. Don’t pick on her, Bruno. Scores? 8, 8, 7 = 23

Finally, we get Julianne and Helio dancing the cha cha. I think they will rock this. Funky music for a white boy, but the grin is back and he’s totally going for it. The 70’s style outfit is funny, but they do look cute together and I think it’s a good dance for them. He knows they did their absolute best. I liked it. The audience liked it.

Judges? Len wants to borrow his trousers, then agrees, it was great. Bruno says it was fantastic. Carrie Ann loved it. Scores - 9, 10, 9 = 28.

Now, it’s time for the Group Dance! Which, you just know will end up being frustrating to watch because of Stoned Camera Dudes, but let’s hope for the best! Loved all the rehearsal footage! And now? We dance! That? Was a lot of fun. And no collisions. Amazing for one rehearsal. I thought Cam and Edyta’s lift rocked, but Julianne and Helio’s aerials ruled. Judges - Bruno thinks it’s the most exciting and competitive season to date. Carrie Ann loved them all. Uncle Len loved their camaraderie. Me, too!

Now it’s time to vote. Yow. This is where it’s going to get tough. Now it’s going to be faves over talent, I think. They all have their strengths, but yikes, I wouldn’t want to be the one to pick who leaves this week! I think the bottom two might very well be Marie and Jane. (Sorry!) But who goes, I don’t know. We’re down to only two guys and my shallow little heart isn’t ready for either of them to leave as yet. I think Mel, Jenny, and Sabrina have all secured their spots…so….I guess we’ll see tomorrow night!

What do you think?

Also wanted to thank everyone for their continued good thoughts and support for my folks. I am happy to say they are mending quickly and feel better than they look at the moment, which, if you could see the bumps, bruising and the rest, you’d know I’m very happy to hear! They both asked me to pass on their thanks for your kind comments and support as well. And Happy Birthday, Dad!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest! Details in Monday’s post. Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Tags: Writing //