We’re walking in the clouds… So…who drops back to earth with a thud?

We’ve sailed through Part 1 of this week’s installment of The Bachelorette Dish.  I trust you’ve all freshened up your fruity umbrella drinks?  Of course you have.  Happening Blog Babes are always on top of the important things.  So let’s get on with finding out who else might be on top of things…or, um, Des.

(If you missed Part 1 over at my USA Today Happy Ever After blog?  Go HERE.  Then hurry back!  It’s down to the wire!)

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We took a walk in the clouds with Brooks.  Now it’s time to find out who gets relegated to the 2 on 1 date.  My guess is that after that hot-alpha-drag-your-woman-into-the-nearest-alley move last week, Drew is safe this week so he’s an easy 2 on 1.  Which means it’s Zak, MG or Chris.  My feeling is Zak and MG are in the bottom and she had a 1 on 1 with Zak last week, so he’s the other one.

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And?  It’s the One on One Date #2 and who gets it?  Chris!  Given Des has let us know that she suspects Chris will make the best luvah from the final 5, I think we can safely say that taking her home to meet his family is his gig to lose right now.  Chris has already let us know that he’s gone past like straight into love and he’s planning on telling Des on their date.  Gee, no pressure, Chris.  Of course, given what we just witnessed with Des being all fireworks and sparkles with Brooks, this is probably the level he’s going to have to step up to in order to stay in the running.  I think Des will get a lot more info on how she’s instinctively feelin about him by whatever her gut reaction is to this surprising announcement.  The other guys watch and feel the cruel jab of jealousy.  Again…hate. this. part.

Des has more of sense of humor with him .  Chris is the guy who looks great on paper and in the flesh, and they definitely have chemistry.  I feel like their personal part hasn’t evolved in the way she did with Brooks, which seemed more real and less fantasy.  I liked that Brooks questions if he’s falling as fast as Des.  I think him hearing that she was already at the running stage in her race analogy when he instinctively answered jogging surprised him.  I think he worrie she was behidn him in that race, so hearing she was out in front kind of spooked him a little.  Will be interesting to see how that plays out during the home town dates and onward.  I think we can safely say he’s in for next week.

But with Chris, for all that the two of them are privately trying to picture what a future will look like together, they’re so busy rubbing sun lotion on and enjoying their scantily clad selves while on their big sail boat cruise date, I’m not sure how much analytical thinking is going on, beyond how can we ditch thees camera guys and find out more about each other like adults do.

Then we’re whipping back to the hacienda where the third date card arrives.  this will tell the rest of the tale.  I still say MG gets the last one on one as he hasn’t had one yet (has he?  How did he make final 5 without one?  See?  This is what I mean about this show…  He’s in love and they haven’t been on an actual date yet.  How is that possible even?)  Anyway – yep, it’s Drew and Zak, who had heir time last week, as the two on one and MG is da last one on one man.

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Drew private camera’s that he’s aware that on the 2 on 1 there’s a safety rose being handed out, and that guy gets to intro Des to his family.  Drew gets this almost gleam in his eyes when he says he has to get that rose.  I’m a little worried about this guy.  I mean, I loved hat alpha move last week, very un-drew-like…but it makes me question just what’s going on inside that guy’s perfect ken doll hair neat as a pin at all times head?

Back on Chris’ date, they end up at a private island for hike n’ picnic.  Des shares that she’s independent and has a hard time leaning and I think you can see her keeping her walls up a bit with him.  He decides they should write a poem together and put it in a bottle he brought and launch it in the water.  I think that’s cool and very personal for them.  Des always seems to be a little bit camera-aware with him, though she did loosen up a little when they wrote their poem together.  Chris is all head over heels and I wonder if he’s not reading her right, but just reading the (very staged romantic) moment…

At dinner Chris decides it’s The Right Time to tell Des how he feels.  Des toasts him and tells him that she’s enjoying getting to know him and it’s the kind of thing you tell a guy you’re just starting to have feelings for.  Chris asks her about what kin of family she wants and if she’s ready to meet his family.  She says given she’s been on her own a long time, she’s only ever brought her high school boyfriend home (I guess Sean doesn’t count – ouch!) so that’s reassuring.  Chris is only half hearing what she’s saying because he has this loud buzzing of terror in his mind trying to find The Right Moment to lay his heart bare.  Something disturbs the plate near the table and that throws him completely off, while is just how off the grid he is.  Naturally, the only way he can tell her is via a poem, and he’s a smart man, because that’s the one time where she’s completely defenseless.  In the moment, she’s swept away and tells him he melted her heart.  Dude has game.   Editors mess with our heads by giving them their own music video of love, too.

This is where I find myself wondering how hard it hast to be for Des and The Chosen One to be watching the season back.  This is the week where that gets super challenging.  She’s sitting somewhere right now, hearing all the direct-to-camera commentary the guys made during that time that she didn’t get to hear on the dates.  And even though she’s (hopefully still) off happily with her final guy, it’s got to be a little brutal watching how the other guys felt, and knowing where that ended.  And it wasn’t with them writing love poetry.   I don’t even want to fathom what it has to feel like being the guy.  I mean sure, she chose you in the end, but literally days before that she was doing, well, this, and happily so, with other guys.  That can’t make you feel great, no matter how secure you are.

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Blink, blank, bloop…we’re off to our One on One #3 with MG.  He gets the cheap “stroll through town” date.  With the right guy, this can also be a more realistic time spent together.  But this strikes me as very “first date-y” – which of course, is exactly what it is for these two.  It’s like he’s been hanging out at her apartment while she dates his roommate, and thinking about wanting to date her himself, getting to know her peripherally, and now he gets his Big Chance. If it were only these two, then maybe there would be something to go on.  Maybe. Des still sees him as her friend’s hot big brother who will protect and defend her, but they’ve had no time for more than hat.  As it is, given where she’s at with other guys, I think it’s way too little, way too late.  Only no one told MG that.  Of course, this is a guy who is geared to closing the case, to winning a verdict on his final closing statement, so not all that surprising he’s in it till the end. And he really does a good closing.  I liked him more in that closing than I have all season.  But dude…I’m really sorry, this is one verdict that’s not going your way.  Compare and contrast the closing dance-to-street-singer moment to the montage of love music videos that last two dates got and yeah…  (My college age son walked in during the end game of the date, took one look and said, “You know how they say it’s not over till the fat lady sings?  Dude, she’s done sung.  And it’s so over.”) Heh.

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Next! It’s 2-on-1 time.  Zak fell head over heels when he got out of the limo and I don’t know about y’all, but that always terrifies me a little.  He does seem like a pretty sweet guy, but he’s been on the Edge of Desperation the whole time.  Drew, on the other hand, is all Compete to WIN! and it’s got equally terrifying elements to it.  He’s a bit too win-at-all-costs for me.  Watch out for those quiet ones.  Especially the ones who look like human mannequins.  Double scary.

It’s a go kart race date and may I say that it’s been enjoyable to get back to dates this season that I think would be fun that don’t otherwise have to inflict pain, risk breaking bones, or losing ones life?  Yeah. More of that, show. After one lap for the three of them, Des bows out and lets the guys race for a “special prize.”  Zak lays it open and kicks mannequin boy’s butt.  But it’s a very cute butt, so there is that.  Then Drew goes and does The Chris and tells us that Today Is The Day.   He must tells her how much he loves her.  Again, I ask..how is this deep, undying love possible?  This is where James had the right of it by keeping one part of his brain at least tethered to something that approximated reality, but not these guys!

Because Zak “wins” he gets his alone time first.  Now, it’s funny, because i was all set to type that he’s very boyishly enthusiastic and heart on his sleeve vulnerable, but there seems to be a little lack in maturity with how he behaves.  Then he goes and says that he’s not going to tell her he loves her, despite wanting to, because he’s sensitive to the fact that there’s another guy on the date, who he repsects and she shouldn’t have to go spend time with him wafter some other dude just said I love you, on the same date.  So…I can’t figure this guy out because that?  Very mature.  I wonder if Drew will have the same level of respect…

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Drew uses his alone time to try and tell her how important it is to him to introduce her to his family and that it means something to him. She’s all “you don’t let your guard down easily” and he blushes and stammers and is ridiculously adorable doing it, and you can see that Des is all sparkly-eyed and glisteny and totally into this cutie-patootie.  I just…don’t know about him.  He’s saying the right things and tugging the right strings with his very open and vulnerable discussion about Des meeting his severely handicapped sister,  and Des is very taken with him. In person, his adorableness and all this open, heart on sleeve talk would be hard to resist.  And then there’s that up against the wall thing…. Yeah.

Then we’re back together and both guys think they’re The One and nailed getting the date rose and this is where it’s all twisty and wrong again.  There shouldn’t have been a rose to either of them. Just get to the rose ceremony and let it happen there.  This process is cruel enough.  Zak has to watch her give the rose to Drew, then smile and toast them.  Really, show?  Ugh.  Of course, maybe this is the head’s up he needs to prepare himself for not getting the Final Four rose.  And I don’t know who would be the most cruel to bring to the meet the fam, Zak or MG?  Chris and Brooks are solidly in.  So it’s one of those two going this week and one next week.  A shame, really, she can’t send two home this week and not drag them and their family’s through what is ultimately a fruitless process.  I think the family’s will be most illuminating for her with the other three, who I see pretty evenly tied at this stage.

So…how does it play out?  Here we go.  Rose Ceremony time. 

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The guys are getting duded up and I went looking for a picture of Brooks in his tux and came across this instead.  Where has this guy been all season is what I wanna know!

Des has a sit down with my bestie, Host Chris (yay!) who asks about the week and where she’s at.  It’s been a good week for Des after a bunch of rocky, tense ones, so that’s good.  On the other hand, she has to go crush someone’s soul, so there’s that.  He asks about each guy.  She talks about Drew being the best looking guy she’s ever met, but kind and sincere.  Then Host Chris says he wants to see her face when he says the name….Brooks.  She smiles, turns pink, her eyes get a little glassy in that happy way.  She tells him about the Stepping-Skipping-Jogging-Running-Finish Line analogy they used to describe where the are on the path to love.  Chris asks what stage she’s in and we find out that while she told Brooks it was running…she tell’s Chris she’s made it to the finish line.  Whoa.  And from the look on her face, it’s no hormone-ladled thing I don’t think.  That would be Drew or Chris anyway.  So…whaddya make of this, Blog Babes?  Did we get our season finale sneak peek on that date in the clouds?  Hmmm.  (And if it’s not him…how does The Chosen One feel hearing that?) Host Chris asks if he’s told her he loves he and she says no. She also says that she gets that he’s exactly where she was with Sean at that point, wanting to let go but terrified that you’ll be hurt.  And given she was hurt pretty badly, I think she has a very clear idea of where they might really be.  The good thing is, she does love him, whereas Sean was in love with someone else.

HC asks if the show is over, if she’s decided.  She says she’s keeping an open mind and talks about Chris and how he’s definitely husband material.  She says she’s falling for him, too, which prompts HC to say “That’s…complicated.”  Welcome to The Bachelorette, Chris we all say along with Des.  So, I think from hearing this, we know Zak and MG aren’t going to cross the finish line with her, they don’t even discuss them.  Drew I think is a distant third, but a sentimental, if-these-other-guys-weren’t-here-you’d-give-me-a-run-for-my-heart guy.  Which means it’s between Chris and Brooks.

And I dunno….but none of the guys makes her face look like it did when Chris just said…Brooks.  What say you Blog Babes?

First, let’s get the Rose Ceremony formality out of the way.  Again, because family’s get pulled in at this point, I really feel she should keep it to the guys who truly have a shot and spend more time with them and their family’s.  Host Chris said it’s up to the Bachelorette on how many roses she hands out, so she could narrow it down.  But there’s three on the tray.  So…. Drew has his already. Brooks is next.  Then Chris.  And?  Zak gets the last one.  I feel for him, because he’s way in deep and it is going to be that much more brutal the deeper she lets him go.

MG, I know it’s not fun now, but trust me, that was the kindest thing she could have done.  Des is more awkward walking him out and trying to make it better and give it closure and I think MG would rather just get in a limo and get out of there.  He doesn’t make it easy on her, either, explaining how he truly feels, and that’s fair and honest. Ultimately, he’s class all the way in how he exits, so there is that.  In what I think is a Bach first, MG calls his mom from the limo.  Hey, no one is as good as mom in giving the hugs.

When she goes back to the other guys, the first one who steps up is Brooks and that’s who she was looking at when she walked back and wanted a hug.  So…keep watch out there!

Hometown date previews promise that next week is going to put the A in Awkward!  I can’t wait!

But first!  In case you missed it at the end of Part 1, I want to make sure we all stay on this journey together!  (Don’t make me do this alone!)  So take a moment, as Host Chris would say, and enter this week’s Giveaway!

How to enter: Drop me an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “Pick me!  Choose Me!” in the subject line. Winner will get a copy of any book in my Cupcake Club series!  Sugar RushSweet StuffBabycakes or Honey Pie could be yours!  Check out my big time author website  for details on the whole series and let me know which title you want in the body of your email, and whether you want print or digital!

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So there you have it!  Another week of dish is done.  Almost!  Now it’s your turn!!  Who wins? Who goes home next week?  Who do YOU want Des to end up with?  Who do YOU want to end up with?  Tell me all!  :) Go!

2 Responses to “We’re walking in the clouds… So…who drops back to earth with a thud?”

  1. Have you noticed Dez doing a lot of awhhh & uh-huhing while she’s ‘listens’ to the guys during 1 on 1′s? It really jumped out last night making me question the sincerity. Of course, who WANTS to contniually listen to some poor sucker go on & on about how much he cares/feels? Guys talking about feelings? Eyew, very creepy after awhile. Lets throw some weight around, see some bare chests, has anyone seen a nice booty yet? Booty alert for next week!

  2. Donna, Watching the Bachelorette is one of my guilty pleasures, so I’ve really been enjoying your blog all season. My pick has been Brooks from their first date. . .so maybe I’ve got it right.