Hey, since we’re singing the Beatles again this week on American Idol, I thought it was only appropriate!

But there is NO time for that! Our Tom is once again gracing our living rooms on Our Favorite Ballroom Show! WAHOO!! It’s baaaaaaaaaaack! It’s Dancing With The Stars time and the Glitter Ball Trophy of Tackiness is once again up for grabs. Yay!

It’s Men’s Night. But first, Yay Tom is back! Hi Tom!!!!! Hi Samantha.

And, yay, we get all the pros, dancing together. Contented sigh. Happiness and joy, right here on my television. No Maks, it’s true, BUT! HI LOUIS!!!!

Okay, is it just me or was there a whollllle lotta sizzlin’ going on amongst those pairings? Dayum. Spring has definitely, uh, sprung. Great opening number though and great to see everyone connecting with their partners and not just putting on a show for the audience. Really liked that. Maybe, oh, I don’t know, because a certain someone is doing the choreo again? I particularly liked the Cheryl-Derek pairing and the Karina-Louis matchup. Those two were dynamite together and she’s tiny enough to really suit his physique. And we got a peek at New Guy, too. He’s a cutie! And how wonderful was it to finally see Jonathan get to dance with his wife? I would never in a million years have put spitfire Anna with him as husband & wife, and yet they’re just adorable together. Not to mention hot on the dance floor. Outstanding choreo and they all looked like they were having a blast. Way to start the season, guys!

Here’s the line up for this season…Penn Teller & Kym, Jason Taylor & Edyta, Christian de la Fuentes & Cheryl, Adam Corolla & Julianne, Mario & Karina, Steve Gutenberg & Anna, Shannon Elizabeth & Derek, Monica Seles & Jonathan, Marissa & Tony, Priscilla Presley & Louis, Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark, and Marlee Matlin & New Guy Fabian.

Okay, as the camera pans down the group, is anyone as surprised as I am by how tall Monica Seles is? I mean, I’m a devoted tennis fan and I guess I don’t remember her as being super tall, but boy, she’s a match for not-so-short Jonathan inch-for-inch. Of course, it could just be the shoes, but then he’s probably got some heels to his, too. And, I know it does not need to be said, because we’re all thinking about it, but man, Priscilla, back away from the knife, babe. She looks really….not so great. Poor Louis. Something tells me she’s not long for this show, given her kind of vacant, risen-from-the-dead look, but hey, I’ve been surprised before. Jerry Springer. How cute is Marlee Matlin?

Overall, this looks like a fun group who are ready to bring it. Hi judges! Hi Uncle Lenny!

Tonight, we just get the guys…so we’re spared any more morgue shots of PP. But soak up all the Louis!! you can while he lasts. Just sayin. But, we get the good news that no one is eliminated this week, so we get to just enjoy them all, vote, and get the votes combined with next week’s scores. Works for me. More people dancing for me is always a Good Thing.

Penn & Kym are up first and I already love his self-deprecating wit. He’s got a great attitude for this. He also rightly assesses that his time spent on stage will help him, which is good, because I think he’ll need it. But he looks to be so completely willing to throw his very over-sized body totally, 100% into this, and you have to love that. I’m actually really interested to see how he does, because he does have rhythm, but no fear. He also has a great, very patient partner in Kym (just ask Jerry) and I think this is a good match up. (Because, honestly, could you have seen him with Karina or Anna? Ha!) I’m liking him.

Here we go, dancing the cha cha cha…..aaaand, so okay, maybe not so light on his feet. It is kinda like watching Big Foot Does Ballroom, and I’m laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes…but in a good way. He’s such a ham, and so very bad, you kinda have to love him. He totally immersese himself in this, and he does shake his moneymaker…and oh god, I’ve never laughed so hard. I’ll be so pissed if he goes home first. Loved the flowers at the end, a bow to his magicman career. Yay, hi Teller in the audience!

Judges? Lenny mixes kindness with love. Bruno, not so much. Carrie Ann is also critical, but eh, who cares. It was fun! 5, 6, 5 = 16 (so…..are they intentionally starting low, or did they just think he was that bad? I mean, he was, but…let’s hope they don’t start throwing 9’s around early like last season.) And Samantha? Just give Penn the microphone now, sweetheart. You are no match for the Big Guy, just let him do his schtick. Okay, so it could be argued she wouldn’t be a match for Teller, either, and he doesn’t speak….but still.

Next up is Jason and Edyta. Looks like a good fit appearance-wise. We’ll see how that pans out. Great looking guy, great smile. But can he shake what his momma gave him? And, do we care? Yes, join me at the shallow end of the pool, Blog Babes. I’ll be there, just enjoying watching him do…anything, really. Although, I will say, he seems like a good guy.

Here we go, dancing the fox trot…. So, he’s a little stiff, but a lot sexy, and, while he’s certainly no ringer, he definitely tries his best. It’s a very slowed down dance, for a fox trot, to accomodate his beginner-ness, but, like Cameron before him, I think he has potential. Plus, it’s nice, once again, for the very tall, very lanky Edyta to be paired with a tall, lanky lad. And, if I’m being honest, I kind of like it when they aren’t super amazing right off the bat, because it’s seeing them become dancers over the weeks of competition, that is really the best part of this show.

That said…if you had to guess who the ringer will be this year, who do you think it will be? Honestly? I don’t have a pick on that, male or female. But we’ll see….

Judges? Lenny loved his posture, wants him to get into it. Carrie Ann also gushes. Hunh. But, he is stunning. Bruno loved his lines, too. Apparently his posture, while stiff looking to me, was difficult to pull off. Hey, whatever keeps him on the show, gang! 7,8,7 = 22 (so, high for me, but hey….)

Next up? More eye candy! Wahoo! Christian de la Fuente and Cheryl are up next and I don’t know that I care all that much about who he is or what he does (actor and military pilot…yum.) I’m more interested in getting to watch more of these two do….whatever the hell they want to. But he does seem like a nice guy, good sense of humor. Always a bonus. Now….can he dance with his shirt off? Hey! Doesn’t hurt to ask! It is my birthday, after all!

Dancing the cha cha cha, here we go! You know, for a guy who absolutely knows how good looking he is, he really didn’t go the over-the-top route I thought he’d go. He was charming, in that devilish latino way, and his performance was hot but understated. Which, I really liked. I think it served him well, as well as minimized his short comings. Cheryl was having a great time. (Duh.) In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her have this much fun since she danced with Drew. Nice to see. Still, not a ringer, but definitely the most potential, by far, so far tonight. But we’re only half way. Wonder what the judges will say….

Judges? (Hi Mel Scary Spice! Yay!) Carrie Ann is waaaaay in the same end of the pool as me. Nothing wrong with that! Have I mentioned how much I miss Bruno and his malapropisms? God, he’s so ridiculous. Don’t you love him? I do. Lenny? Is critical, but I think they all know he could be the Guy To Beat, and he’s definitely not lacking in the confidence department, so just as well to keep him humble from the start. 7, 7, 7 = 21. No way were they a point worse than Jason, but, again, if it keeps them on the show, and there is a chance of more bare, tanned, male flesh…I’m in.

We get Adam Corolla and Julianne next. Could be an interesting match. (Hi Helio! And who is the chick in the audience I keep seeing, wearing the Jackie O dark sunglasses? At night. Inside. I mean, drama much?) Another funny guy, so at least this could be amusing. Dancing the fox trot, here we go…. Okay, so he’s not all that fantastic, no surprise, but I think Julianne rescued him as much as possible with another strongly choreographed routine. Pretty amazing for such a young person, but I don’t see a three-peat in her future, no matter how amazing the choreo is. Judges? Agree with me, pretty much. Scores - 5, 5, 5 = 15.

Now we get singer Mario and Karina (another Mario season? Really? Do we have to?) And, as a singer, you kinda expect the guy to have rhythm, byt we’ll see… At 21, he’s the baby of the group this year. And oh yeah, he’s all over getting Karina as his partner. Sigh. I want to like the kid, I do. But, it’s going to take some work. Maybe it’s just the Karina Konnection, but… Oh, and then we hear she needs surgery on her neck before they can start the season (and given they only had 4 weeks to prepare, yikes!) So, ooookay, they have my sympathy now. Dammit. And, here we go, dancing the cha cha cha…. Aaaaaand, we also have our ringer! But he’s cute and they looked really great. Judges? (Hi Chris Harrison!) Carrie Ann is going to have a GREAT season here in the shallow end of my pool. I like her all stuttery. Ha! Uncle Lenny praises his movements, slams his footwork (keepin’ it real, the Randy of Ballroom) and Bruno was excited. I refuse to comment further. Scores? 8, 8, 8 = 24. Deserved, I must say.

In the pimp spot, is….Steve Gutenburg? Ooookay. Steve and Anna tackle the fox trot. So…if the pleasure comes from watching people who haven’t a clue, get a clue as things click? We’re all going to be rapturous. If the show lasts until, say, fall. Unfortunately for Steve, he only has a few months…and I’m predicting he might not be around that long. And what is it with giving the Little Fiery One the not-so-great dancers, anyway? Come on. Here we go….so, he’s not the worst guy out there, and there might be more hope than I gave him credit for. He needs to stop looking so amazed the whole time he’s dancing, but he’s kind of cute. Like a puppy. And I don’t want Anna to be booted so quickly. So, let’s keep him, ma, can we? Can we, huh huh? The showmanship at the end was high on the cute scale, too. Judges…. Bruno says he got into it. Carrie Ann thinks he’s charming, too. Uncle Lenny said he’s infectious. See? Puppy. Scores - 6,6,6 = 18.

Not a bad night, all in all. I’m really excited to see how the women match up. Other than Mario, none of the guys are overkill, so maybe a woman has a shot this year. (Sorry, Mel! Still think you would have won with a better free style!) I thought Mario was technically the best, with Christian showing a lot of promise (if he’d take his shirt off, it would help reduce the resistance to the latin moves and…hey! I’m trying here!) Jason would be next. I thought Steve was charming. But, honestly, when they showed the clips back? I still laughed my butt off - in a good way! - when Penn started clomping around the floor. Really, it’s just that funny. So, if it was me, I’d send Adam home first for the guys. Sorry, Man Show Guy! (Didn’t you half expect to see Kimmel come out at any moment? Like it was some kind of huge joke?) Anyway…next up, the ladies turn!

So? What did you all think? Who did ya love? Who did ya not? Who did ya just want to dance shirtless and you’d vote for them like a silly schoolgirl?

Oh, and Marissa? You can come sit down here in the shallow end next to me. My new BFF. Love her. I loved that they were betting on the judges scores! HA!

Okay…I’m not sure I can stand a whole season of looking at Priscilla. Am I the only one who just…shudders? Dang. Can’t wait to see everyone dance, though! And we have singers tonight, too! Wow, tomorrow is going to be MAC-tastic!

Don’t forget this week’s SHaQ-tacular Contest! Five winners! See Monday’s post for details.

Aaaaaaaaand…….dish!

Tags: Writing //