Mega-MAC day as all twelve couples are dancing tonight. Let me limber up my fingers (did you know that scooping out ice cream is a great finger dexterity workout? Is too!)

….and here we go!

Hi Tom!!!! Hi Samantha. (Not two sentences in, and she flubs already. At least her makeup/wardrobe person is being kinder to her this season. Now, if only we could get her into a really good Announcer School. Maybe a boarding announcer school where she’ll have to go stay for…oh, a year or more.)

Tonight the couples are doing the quick step or the mambo. And, honestly, what kind of genes does one have to have to be born with a body like Edyta’s? You just know she chows down on Sonic burgers and complains because she can’t gain an ounce. Really unfair. I mean, would it be asking too much to just tread water in that gene pool? I mean, really? I’d sit in the shallow end and everything.

I see Kimmel and Guillermo in the audience tonight. We hope it’s because it’s his only chance to see pal Adam Corolla dance… (I would just love a ticket to this show, wouldn’t you? What a fun night that would be!) Love Tom’s quip later that he really was hoping Ben Affleck was Kimmel’s date. Ha!

First up is Steve Gutenberg and Anna, who get mambo (well…that should be interesting.) And the fiery spitfire is back! But cracking down on Steve is kind of a little like puppy-kicking. Why can’t she have Adam? Plus, his responses would likely be hilarious. (And wow, how gorgeous is Anna’s mom? And she was cute with Steve.) Now we get to see Steve’s macho mambo combo. Anna has a cute little sherbet-y dress on and they get good mambo music (shocking!) but they also get first up, which we know can be the kiss of death. I hope folks remember to vote for them. Not that I’m rooting for him, per se, because, he pretty much sucked at this tonight, but I’d like to see him stick around beyond some of the others. He’s fun. (But he needs to keep that shocked look off his face - closed-mouth smile, Steve, closed mouth smile.) Judges? Uncle Lenny says he has fun, but not much follow through on technique. Bruno and Carie Ann agrees. Anna talks back to the judges, but Steve cuts in and thanks them for their constructive criticism. And the whole back room is chanting in support, so clearly this group is already bonding, big time. Love that. Scores - 6, 5, 5 = 16

Next, we get Christian de la Fuente and Cheryl (boo on going second!) who get the quickstep. He’s quite the kidder-arounder and you can see that Cheryl is actually pretty charmed by him (or she just wants to jump because, hey, she actually has a shot at that and I say go for it!) but she also has to work to get him to focus. I don’t care, I think they’re hot. Dance on, Heartthrob Boy! (I don’t think they can swing taking his shirt off for the quickstep, can they? Why can’t he just get all the latin dances?) He did look nice in Navy whites…even if he is Air Force. And here we go…great song, loved both of their outfits (polka dots, yay!) and I thought they did a pretty smashing job. Cheryl can choreo to her hearts content with her partner this season and it’s great to see that again. Plus, it really looking like Christian was leading, and that’s tough to do in this dance, and tough to do with a dynamo dancer like Cheryl - and their speed and floor coverage was outstanding! So much good stuff! (Just reallllly wish, with 12 couples dancing, they’d gotten to go much later in the line up!) I am totally rooting for these two, just because I want to see the pretty, and the steam. And they bring magnitudes of both. Judges? Carrie Ann applauds his posture improvement but quibbles over some footwork (for their second dance ever, at that speed? Shut up, Carrie Ann.) Lenny agrees with me on the speed, then picks on them for not being traditional enough. (Really? Who pissed in their Wheaties tonight? I thought they’d be gushing.) Bruno was the only one who seemed to get it. I know, dogs and cats, living together and hell freezing over, as I type. Scores? 7, 6, 7 = 20 I thought it was closer to a 24, especially when you look at last week’s scoring.

Monica and Jonathan are up with a mambo (poor, poor Monica. I don’t see this going well with all that hip action, but then again, I’m not sure the quickstep would have been any kinder.) I will give her credit for bringing the same dedication that won her a slew of grand slam trophies to this competition. You can see she’s frustrated that it doesn’t come to her as naturally as it does to others, and I know she’s embarrassed, especially since she’s used to being dominant in what she does. So, golf claps all around for Monica. But I still think she’s going home. I am glad she found a way to have fun with this. She totally goes for it, and don’t you just love Jonathan? I heart them both for how hard they tried. I hope the judges are a bit kinder to her this go around. Let her go with some dignity. Judges - Bruno says she has to feel the music better. Carrie Ann applauds how hard she attacked it. Lenny says she tried her hardest. Scores 5. 5. 5 = 15 (and I’m sorry, but if she gets 5’s - and they were deserved - how can you give what Christian just did a 6???? We’re talking opposite ends of the spectrum. So…wow, judges, just…wow.)

Next we get Penn and Kym, who looks a lot sexier tonight without the overkill cleavage she usually brings. They get quickstep, which, with their height and size difference, has to be a real challenge. And that’s if Penn could actually dance well. So it’s an uphill climb this week for them, I’m afraid. But you can’t say he’s not having a great time with this, and that’s why I vote for Adam to go home first. Love the “magical” touches they put in their routines. Judges - Lenny is cute and critical, Bruno tries to do verbal battle, and Penn gives him a hard time. Carrie Ann finally gives him the kudo he so badly wants (Hi Teller!) and….we’re done. Scores? 6, 6, 5 = 17 (So, I’m going to say this alllll night, but Christian? Robbed.)

It’s Louis!! and Priscilla’s turn. They get the mambo. So, she hasn’t Jerry Springer’d me to her side yet, but I have to give her credit for making me cringe a lot less than I thought I was going to. I think the botox must be waning as she actually had an occasional expression. Small strides, but strides nonetheless. She does work hard, too - everyone is this season and it’s great to see. She’s got a great figure, too, and I find myself realllllly wishing she hadn’t had so much work done on her face. I’m betting she’d have aged beautifully. A real shame. And we’re off…..love her dress. And I love Louis. He makes this look so effortless and he choreo’s really beautifully for her. Judges - Carrie Ann gushes. Lenny laps her up. Bruno growls. Scores - 7, 7, 7 21

Derek and Shannon get the quickstep. I really like her and I’d like her to break the “beautiful girl” curse and stick around. Plus she looks great with Derek. Glad she got him for a partner. (And what’s up with Stoner Music Dude? He’s actually putting some decent tunes together with the dances this week!) Great opening. This? Is absolutely lovely. Fantastic choreo, not too crazy fast, great floor coverage, cute stunt by the judges stand, and did I mention they look gorgeous together. There better be some nice scores coming for this one! Judges Bruno gushes, as well he should. Carrie Ann loved it. Lenny congratulates her on the best dance of the night, gives her great critique and lauds the choreo. Way to go, Uncle Lenny! Scores - 8, 8, 8 = 24 Well earned.

Jason and Edyta are up next and may I just say, how come Jason can’t wear as little as Edyta? I mean, fair is fair. They get the mambo and…yeah, he needs waaaay less clothes on. I’m fanning….and here we go…and yeah, that’s pretty damn hot. He’s doing a really good job, especially for a big guy. He puts Cameron to shame and we all know how far Cam went. So I predict a looooong season of him bringing the pretty. And the sexy. Just…more skin, k? (Me? Shallow end of the pool, baby, and I’m completely unapologetic about it. Life’s short, and I say we should enjoy the manflesh when we can.) Judges - Lenny says he’s a winner. Bruno says he’s the mambo king. Carrie Ann is just drooling and really, who can blame her? Scores - 9, 9, 9 =27 And yeah, they earned that one.

Marissa and Tony are up with a quick step. (Can I say…I know Tony feels for his partners, he’s a nice guy….but I really just don’t think he’s that great a choreographer or teacher for amateurs. A shame, but there you go. I don’t think Marissa is going to be well served by him this season, but she’ll probably come out of it with a very good friend, and that’s not all bad.) And here we go….very cute routine (I might have to eat my words a wee bit) but it’s fast and she’s much shorter than he is, and at first I thought she was just forgetting her steps and getting off step, but I think she just can’t keep up the pace with his much longer legs and it gets her off beat here and there. Still, despite the screwed up footwork, very adorable. I know the judges will call her on it, but I hope she stays. Judges - Carrie Ann praises her but does call her out on the footwork. She makes Lenny smile. Bruno calls her on the footwork, but is happy with her improvement. Scores -7, 7, 7 = 21 Okay, so I’m all for giving her a boost and she was just so tickled. But that was NOT better than Christian & Cheryl. Just. Sayin.)

Adam and Julianne are up, with their mambo. Okay, I know I pan the guy and want him to go first (but only relatively speaking) because he does bring the funny. And I love Julianne. But, if not him, then who? Still, I enjoy the two of them together. And here we go…(and did I mention? Stoner Music Dude? Totally picking appropriate music? What’s up with that? I’m really liking it!) The Family Hough shows off their madd choreo skillz once more, and Adam actually doesn’t do too badly, all things considered. Like he kinda can’t dance. But he goes for it and for that, big golf clap for Adam! Judges - Bruno says he’s unnatural, but made him laugh. Carrie Ann calls him on the Bitch comment from last week and says it was green and cute. Lenny says it was brilliant because they entertained. He even suggests props. Lenny? Prop advocate? Wow. Hell. Freezing. Scores - 6,7,6 = 19 Which, nice of them, but if I was Cheryl right now? Li-vid. Yeah, yeah, it’s a dance show. I’m a wee bit competitive, what can I say?

Now it’s Marlee (then Kristi, then Mario…how come they get the pimp spots two weeks running? Just askin. Yeah, yeah, I know they’re good. Which means they don’t need no stinkin pimp spot votes. Come on producers…what, did you promote Stoner Music Dude to program director?)

Okay, okay, back to Marlee and Fabian - they get the quick step and I’m sure they’re going to be great at it. Which they are. And it’s still just freaking awesome to watch. Fabian’s proving to be quite the choreographer himself - great routine. I’m predicting some nice scores here. (Hi Henry Winkler! Hi Jennifer Beals!) Judges? Lenny says she’s got great potential. Bruno says she has incredible stage presence. Carrie Ann says she has great musicality. Scores - 8, 8, 8 = 24 Well deserved.

We get a Cam cam tomorrow night. Yay! More Cam!

Kristi’s turn, with her partner Mark who is sporting the no-shirt vest look, and while I applaud any manflesh being exposed (well, maybe not Penn’s….) he’s down on the exposure scale for me of who I want to see more naked. But, it’s a start, so I don’t quibble. Much. They get the mambo, and of course it’s going to be amazing. Let’s watch! She’s adorable, he’s cute, and despite her being a bit shy about all that shaking going on, she puts on a good show. However, Mark without a shirt? Just makes me miss My Maks. (I know, I’m so picky like that!) But bravo for Going There. It’s a start. (Hi Cheetah girls!) Judges - Carrie Ann loses her collective poop and, you know, it was good, but if you watch it back, Kristi’s far from the perfection Carrie is gushing about. I didn’t think it was as strong as last week - great, but not as good. Still, I see 9’s coming on… Lenny says she set a high standard last week and she did it again. Bruno said she was right on it. Scores -9, 9, 9 =27

Last up tonight is Mario and Karina with the quickstep - Aaaaand we get sleeveless tails showin’ off some very nice guns, now you’re talkin’! The dance is nice, too. Non-traditional outfits, but then they finally reverted to form with a really strange musical selection. However, these two did a really great job. He’s got a beautiful smile. Nice close to the show. Judges - Bruno agrees. Lenny agrees he improved the footwork, so he slammed his hold instead. (Cranky, so cranky….) Carrie Ann stumbles a bit then just gives up and says he’s hot. Yep. Scores - 9, 8, 9 = 26

Fun night! So….who is going home tonight? I’m still saying it’s probably Monica and Adam, but as we well know, anything can happen. It was a long night and the earlier dances are probably all but forgotten.

Don’t forget to enter this week’s madd easy SHaQ Attack contest - see Monday’s post for details!

10 Idols sing (and not the Beatles!) tonight and 2 dancers are being sent home. Mega-MAC Daddy tomorrow!

So….dish already! What did you think? Who is going home?

Tags: Writing //