First, what is up with Samantha’s bondage dress? I mean, two straps, sure, but that third one under her armpits? Overkill. I take back what I said about her new and improved Stoner Wardrobe Dude.

Okay, on to the rest….Looking at the recap…Christian? Still robbed. Jason and Edyta get the encore, which was deserved (glad it wasn’t Kristi, as I don’t think she needs more love at this point.) Loved Karina shoving Mario off his stool in the backstage commentary when he was going on and on thanking Carrie Ann for saying he was hot. Also loved Adam Corolla’s “you don’t have to do math, you’re hot” comment to Julianne. He can be pretty amusing.

So, we say goodbye to one couple right off. They are sending one of the guy celebs home and one of the women celebs, and, of course, their partners as well. We learn that, for the guys, Mario was in first place after two nights of scoring (before adding in America’s votes) with Jason/Edyta in second, and Christian and Cheryl in third (this is out of the six guys only.) Going home for the guys? I figured it would be Adam or Penn…..and, am I right? Safe is Steve/Anna, then we get Jonas Brothers with some of the pros dancing, and because I’m not sixteen, I fast forwarded (sorry pros, I’m sure you were great, but wow, when you think A ha did a better job with a song, it’s time to FF.) We get some backstage time with Ebullient Steve (who I just realized was the only guy not wearing black last night) and FINALLY back to the eliminations…more safe couples: Jason/Edyta and Mario and Karina. (Come on, Christian had better be safe!) Aaand, wow, so Adam is staying (maybe you were right about Julianne’s fan base) but I’m NOT gonna be happy if Christian walks first. Way not right and we can’t start losing the man candy this early on, people. So, it’s down to Penn and Christian….going home?

Kym & Penn. (Which, WHEW!)

On to the women. Top three scores for the women (out of six) Priscilla and Shannon are tied for third, Marlee is in second, and (duh) Kristi is in first. And, you know, I like her, but I don’t think she’s as All That as the judges are making her out to be. Safe this week, is Shannon (yay!). Now we get the Cam cam. Loved Tom’s Power of Dance mission statement. And I could have done without the cape, but I’m all for more Cam-time. He was too adorable out there. He’s like this mix of total studmuffin…and Jim Carrey. I heart him.

Alright, so reality break here: Am I the only one on the planet who didn’t realize just how old Priscilla actually is? They kept talking about her being the oldest one out there, but I really didn’t do the math, so I had NO idea she was 62. 62! I don’t know why I didn’t put that together, but dang. Face reconstruction notwithstanding, I wouldn’ta guessed.

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled program…and we get the first of the Macy’s Star program, with an aerial performance from a Cirque de Soleil choreographer. It was interesting, if not ultimately as wild as the hype, but did you catch the So You Think You Can Dance winner dancing with the troupe?

More Jonas Brothers, yadda, and finally, back with the eliminations….and more safe couples…Marlee/Fabian and Kristi and Mark. No surprises yet. This leaves Priscilla, Marissa, and Monica. I’m still guessing Monica. Pretty sure it’s not Priscilla. Aaand, I’m right. Yay, more Louis!! So…Tom points out that whoever is paired with the eliminated couple is NOT necessarily in the bottom 2. Good to know…Christian. And, who leaves? It’s Monica and Jonathan, and you could see she was really disappointed, as much for herself, I think, as for him. We lose the cutie patootie Jonathan! But, otherwise, it was the right thing to do. Sorry, Monica!

Next week, everyone dances the same night, so it will be interesting to see how the rankings shake out when it’s not divided by gender.

On American Idol…it’s Top 10 night. Ryan announces tonight’s theme, which, from looking at them is “Black and Beige.” No one is wearing anything with color. What’s up with that? Okay, so the real theme is The Year They Were Born. That could be fun. Especially as there won’t have been any Beatles songs out during any of their birth years.

First up is Ramiele, who was born in 1987. So I’m officially as old as dirt, but we already knew that. She has chosen Heart’s Alone. Which, really? How big is the song selection, because Heart usually is an idol-killer. Just sayin. Doesn’t anyone help guide these kids? who knows, maybe the power ballad notes will finally showcase her range. (And I think I discovered where Dancing With the Stars Stoner Wardrobe Dude got a new job…) So, yes, this song does show off her range a lot better than her previous choices, but was it me or was she really off? And the backup singers didn’t help as they were in some other range… Not sure that’s going to save her. Judges? Randy agrees, wrong song choice. (DUH!) We find out that he’s sick, Paula sounds sick (and apparently she has the bondage gloves that go with Sam’s dress, so…I rest my case) So, Ramiele is also sick, which makes her belting that out more incredible, but it’s still not the song for her. Simon, however, is kind to her. Kind-er anyway.

Second up, Jason (yay, but going second, boo!) He’s a fellow March baby, and last night was actually his birthday, his 21st birthday, so wow, no pressure there to make the night a good one. He chooses Sting’s Fragile, and is playing his guitar. Now this? An interesting and attention getting choice. Pay attention, Idols. I thought he did a nice job with it. Not as folksy as in the past, more acoustic rock. I really liked it. A lot. Judges - Randy applauds the choice and thought it was nice. Paula drools but agrees it was safe. Simon thinks he’s had two bad weeks. (Wow, I disagree. I think he’s staying true to who he is, and you either like it, or you don’t. For him to jump out of the box and do something completely different, I think, would be stupid. Interesting maybe like a trainwreck, but why would you do it if it’s not you?) But getting lazy or thinking you don’t have to work hard, which his interview with Ryan afterward made me question a little…yeah, that’s not good. Get on the stick, Woodland Creature Boy!

Syesha picks If I Were Your Woman, which, also an interesting choice. We’ll see if she pulls it off. I think she did a nice job with this. Not sure it was knock-me-over, or anything knew, but it was very strong and right on the money. Enough to keep her over Ramiele, for sure. Judges - Randy says it was her best yet, including auditions. Paula said this is the week she becomes a contender. Simon thinks her vocals have limits and she stretched them, not in a good way. Wow, I don’t know what’s going on behind she scenes, but it seems like something else is going on tonight.

Next up is Chikezie. He goes back the ballad route with If Only For One Night. After two wild weeks, I think this was a nice change up for him. Not sure the judges will agree, but I really liked it, and I’m not typically a ballad fan. I think he is really coming into his own and commands the stage very confidently. Good job. Judges - Randy says it was too old fashioned and he didn’t love it (so, we’re seriously in two different orbits tonight becaause I think the throwback worked.) Simon said he sang it well, but his performance was cheesy. Man, who pissed in their Wheaties? They’re down on everyone tonight. Or, at least nowhere near unanimous. You can tell it was hard to hear for him, in a way that made you feel for him. He can console himself that no one else has heard much better. So far.

Up next, Brooke White, The Chosen One (for everyone except me….) So, we’lll see if the curmudgeon’s drop the mantle for her. She sings The Police, Every Breath You Take. Seated at the piano, it’s better than her yellow buttercup thing last week, but not exactly a departure for her, either. Wanna bet they don’t slam her for it the way they did Jason? She does sing beautifully, and she is a very strong performer. I wish I liked her better and I don’t know why she doesn’t excite me. It’s odd, because she’s very good. Judges - Randy was wishy-washy on it. (Nice to see the planets are starting to re-align.) Paula likes this week better and likes her consistency. Simon thought she should have stayed with the earlier part of the arrangment - which, see? They say to change things up and not stick with the original because it’s boring, then, when they do? Slam. So, I don’t know how they keep from being incredibly confused by what to do, but there you go. At least it wasn’t the full tilt tongue bath I was expecting, but, on the other hand, I’m confused by them tonight.

Michael Johns was born in 78. Cute family. And, in what I think is a very smart move, he goes right to Freddy Mercury territory. And, he’s pretty much the only idol ever I’d say that about, as anything by Queen is usually also an idol-killer. But, since everyone and his mother keeps telling him he peaked in Hollywood Week with his rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody (which, I kind of agree with) then tackling We Will Rock You might be a smart move. We’ll see. I don’t know that anything is going to wow the judges tonight. (And while some of the performances have been solid for me - Syesha/Chikezie - I don’t know that they’ve wowed me either.) The crowd is very behind him, which is nice to hear. I think he’s nailing this, but what do I apparently know? I think it’s by far his best performance. He can totally manhandle Queen for me anytime he wants. The crowd totally loses their collective stuff. Judges - Randy applauds him. Paula said he found his song. Simon said he finally sees star potential and it was by far the only memorable performance of the night. Yay! We agree! Dogs and cats, no longer living together, hell, defrosting.

Carly was born in 83. Her mother looks like her older sister. She’s very Catherine Zeta Jones. The photos of Carly as a child were very different and I really liked them. The one of her and the book was well done. Almost art. She chooses, Total Eclipse of the Heart and I confess I haaaaaaaaaaaate this song with the passion of a thousand burning suns, so my recap could possibly be a bit biased here. A wee bit. That said….she does a very good Laura Brannigan job with it. Her dress, while still awkward, is an improvement. The last note killed whatever love I had for her version though - which is none, but still, really bad idea there. I leave this one to the judges. Judges - Randy says just okay. Paula also hates that song but said she did a good job with it. Simon says it didn’t quite work for him, either. He thinks she was too tense and uptight going for the hard rock vibe.

David Archuleta was born yesterday. In a lab. No, I kid. He’s a senior in highschool and we get to see his GF sitting next to his dad. Interesting parentage this evening. His mother is lovely. Childhood footage is hilarious. He chooses You’re the Voice (do we know this song? I don’t recognize it at all.) He sings the heck out of it, though. Judges? Randy said, strange song choice, but he has madd skillz. Paula didn’t know it, either (it’s revealed it’s an Aussie artist that no one has heard of) and Simon says he did a nice job, but didn’t like the performance. Said it was remiscent of a theme park performance. I think he was saying it was very “Up With People” and….whatever. I think David has that vibe no matter what he sings. The crowd clearly loves him.

Kristy Lee is up. Maybe they put her near the end so people would remember that she’s not as great. She is very pretty and from a good looking family. She is singing God Bless the USA? Really? Oookay. We’re going the country route full tilt I guess, but I don’t know that she has the strength of conviction to handle a power anthem like this one, but hey, if she’s thinking that this gets her the vet vote, then she’s still in. The song is a powerful one no matter who sings it, and she sings competantly, but it wasn’t a moving performance. Mainly because I just don’t think she’s capable of one. Because that? Is theme park. And I think she’ll have a hard time moving forward from there because she lacks the stage presence to take that voice she has and transcend it. Judges? Randy says great song choice, pitchy, but nice. Paula said good choice (I think they’re all thinking what I am about snagging the patriotic vote.) Simon says it was her best by a mile. Which, possibly, but that’s relative, right? He applauds the song choice, because he does totally get how clever it was.

David Cook is the closer tonight and hey, deserved. He’s singing someone’s take on Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean, but I didn’t catch whose version he’s singning. Really….different. Not sure I enjoy the off beat rearrangement of the score into an emo-alt-rock thing, but he does the version serious justice, if you like that kind of thing. Undecided for me this week, but he’s nothing if not consistently showcasing his “sound” a la Blake from last season (though David is more marketable, I think) and that’s not a bad thing. He’s probably my favorite in this competition and the one I look most forward to hearing each week. Crowd loved it. Judges? Randy says he’s the most bold and original and is the take home winner. Paula is still giving him a standing ovation, literally. Simon Says it was a really brave choice that could have been insane or amazing…but he says? Amazing. And David is clearly very thankful for the praise. No smug from the guy this week. Worth the pimp spot, for sure.

So….what is your take on this group? All in all, not a real inspiring week. They can all sing, so no one is ever going to sound horrible, so you have to look for that transcendant “thing” that makes a great singer a star. The world is full of great singers who aren’t. Going home this week for me? Should be Ramiele. Hands down. Best for me tonight? David Cook, easily. My favorites in the competition to listen to? Cook, and, surprisingly, Chikezie. I like his voice. I downloaded a few tracks, and his is the only one that doesn’t make me look up and go, wtf was I thinking downloading this? He sounds just right on the iPod. Cook is the only one I like better. Who else has “it” - I think Brooke does, for sure. She’s not my personal cuppa, but she commands the stage. I think David Archuleta is great, but not sure he’ll ever get past the Clay Aiken-type record sales. (Which, a person can make a good living off of, so I’m not slamming him. I just see him as perennially more Manilow than Backstreet in today’s market. Again, not a bad gig if you can snag it. Manilow ain’t no slouch.) Good singers who will never be more than that? Kristy Lee and Syesha. Jason could find a home in his niche because he’s so different, but mainstream, probably not. Carly…big ol voice, but I don’t think it’s unique enough to sell out concert arenas. Which leaves Michael Johns, who, up until this week I’d have lumped in with Kristy Lee and Syesha, or maybe Carly. But tonight he moved into my top three to watch, because, if he can pull that off consistently, he’s definitely got career potential. Him, I’d buy. (And his cd’s, too. )

So.. Dancing? Singing? Dish already!

Oh yeah….and today’s the day Dear Prince Charming comes out in mass market paperback. Let me know if you see it sitting around at your local bookstores! Tomorrow - Idol Goes Home MAC and maybe some Top Chef. Friday, that sneak peek I promised! Don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack - details in Monday’s post!

Tags: Writing //