First up, on Dancing With The Stars…hmm, everyone comes out in their western duds, so let me guess what the encore dance is gonna be? I wonder…. Tonight we get Ashleeeeeee Simpson and Riverdance. I used to love Riverdance but my last view of it, the lead guy, what’s his name, was all over the damn thing ruining it. So I think I will be moving on to American Idol a bit faster this evening as the ol fast forward finger will get more than just commercial break action.

I always enjoy the backstage commentary from the stars. This week I liked Christian’s the best. He’s all excited about how good it feels to get a good score (three 9’s) then comments how this is how Kristi must feel every week. Love him. And I love the good natured rivalry they’ve all got going with her. She’s used to big time pressure from competing at the highest level in her sport on an international stage, so this is nothing for her, which makes it all in good fun. It also makes me miss Adam Corolla. He brought the funny. On the bringing the pain scale, that would be Derek and Shannon. She’s hurting over the judges criticism (though it was pretty much right on, I have to admit) and Derek picks up the gauntlet and gets angry that they’re picking them apart, but not the other couples. Aaaaaand, yeah, he also has a point. Just sayin.

We find out that Apolo, Julianne, Maks and Mel B will be back on a future show. I want to go!!!

Now it’s ff time as Ashleeeee takes the stage. Aaaaand, we get more backstage drama from Shannon who is pretty much having a total meltdown which I’m sure she’ll regret doing on camera later. Or not. But with all the pressure, stress, and training, I have to give her a little room here, since I’d have probably long since lost it after working so hard only to constantly hear them tear me down. What’s even harder is that, for the most part, the critiques are spot on. I’m not sure Shannon gets that they’re not telling her she can’t dance, but that, at this stage of the competition, she’s not up to speed with many of the others. Which, she’s not. Has she seen the show? And they didn’t give her a bad score. She’s just having “a moment.” I just hope Derek gets her on to another moment quickly.

She could take lessons from Marlee, who is handling her failure to compete at the level she is trying so hard to quite graciously, and you know it’s taking a toll on her. Marissa is loving her night, as is Christian and Mario. Kristi and Mark are just plain cute. Any other person in her spot, I’d probably not be loving (see: Sabrina) but she’s just too dang adorable to hate for being so good.

Now it’s time to play Safe or Not Safe? Safe? Is Shannon & Derek (and I heart Tom for saying it’s time for happy tears.) Not Safe? Marlee & Fabian. Hmmm. Wonder who will land next to them. (By the way, note to Wardrobe Manager: please have Jason wear sleeveless shirts every week. Thanks.) We get a little backstage commentary where Sam does the obligatory “how does it feel to be a loser” chat with Marlee, which, shut up, Sam. Then when she turns to ask Shannon and Derek how they feel to be safe, we see that Derek’s face is covered with lipstick kisses, which….after Sam’s grilling last night, was pretty funny. Then Shannon earns back some brownie point by apologizing for the meltdown, as does Derek, both claiming they are passionate about what they’re doing and just lost their cool, prompting Sam to comment on how they have the passion, alright. Yeah. Tom can get away with this, Sam, not so much. Still, at least they’re trying for lighthearted.

Next we get Riverdance,and since Michael Flatley was no where in sight, I didn’t immediately ff, and I’m glad I didn’t. I thought it was pretty entertaining. I wish the camera guys understood that the power of the final line was seeing them all dance in unison at the same time, but no, they had to pan foot by foot, leg by leg, down the line. Sort of defeats the power of the image, but whatever, stoner camera dude. I still enjoyed it.

Time for more ballroom kids. I enjoy the little tykes, but there’s a part of me that just thinks kids that young dancing like that is unnatural. Tonight we get the not-so-little 13 yr olds. Although I will hand it to the little guy who danced second, who had charisma times ten, I was glad to see the first couple get it. I really liked that pair.

Time for more Safe/Not Safe. Marissa/Tony are safe, and thrilled. But really thrilled is Christian who lets out a whoop when they announce he and Cheryl are safe. I am glad, but with them both in safety land, this means that either Jason, Mario, or Kristi is in the bottom two with Marlee. Hunh. I’m guessing maybe Jason? He didn’t dance as well, but why take the eye candy away, why, America? Still, Mario and Kristi should definitely be safe. I guess we shall see. And I’m predicting it’s a Marlee Exit this evening, so likely, it won’t matter other than to nudge the fans of the other bottom dweller to get on the stick and vote next week.

So, can we start a Get Rid Of Sam petition somewhere? Because it’s just more painful every week. Her “banter” is just so awkward and you know Tom is just cringing every week. I know I am!

Who else is safe? Kristi & Mark, and it probably wasn’t the worst thing to give them a taste of loser flop sweat. But, surprisingly (and no one is more so than Edyta) Jason is also safe! Which means the Curse of Karina lives on. Mario/Karina - not safe. Maybe it was the ick factor of Mario dedicating a sexy dance to his 6 year old brother, who knows. I thought they were pretty hot. But…here they are. Undeserved, but it is so.

In the end, it’s Marlee & Fabian making their exit. I think she was truly remarkable and such an inspiration. She makes an incredibly classy exit, as does Fabian. Then Tom goes and gets me all misty as he hugs his dear friend, Marlee, good-bye. Awww, Tom!

Comments? What did you think? I think it was the right choice, but still sad. Next week should be interesting. Two new dances for each team - and the competition is pretty darn tight!

Now? It’s Idol Time! Woo hoo! And please, for the love of dog, can someone guarantee me up front it won’t be a Evita/Cats/Phantom Night ? I need up tempo people, I need fun! Can we have a ballad free week? Okay, so maybe this week with Andrew Lloyd Weber in the house, that’s too much to ask, but I’d kill for disco week right about now. So…you know how desperate I am.

The band is bigger, and on the stage where they belong….except it’s because they’re an orchestra tonight, due to the whole Broadway theme thing. Sigh. Would it kill them to do a rock night? Seriously?

Our Top Six come out, and much as it pains me to say, props go right off to Syesha for acknowledging fabric can have color. Her red dress is a knockout, and makes the already drab other five look even more generic. Okay, so Carly tries with some sort of paisley…something, sorry, I just can’t look.

We get a little mini-lecture from Lloyd-Weber on his theory on making songs powerful, and that’s to focus on the story told in the song, that the power is in the words. I couldn’t agree more. Which is why Syesha? Carly? Yeah, this might be a tough week for you.

Syesha starts it off and thank the stars, she picks One Rock N Roll Too Many, a saucy little tune from what show I have no idea, and she totally goes for it in rehearsal. Where’s that light been hiding? On stage, she starts on top of a piano - standing, on top of a piano - and while the tune is still there, and the dress is all hot, where did all the saucy go? The animated Syesha from rehearsal has been toned down. Hunh. I don’t get that choice. She starts to bring the vamp a bit more toward the end, hits a few ouch notes, but brings it home way better than she launched. It is easily her most memorable performance and a great way to kick off the show (not a ballad!) Still, I hate to be a sour puss, but it’s not the show stopper it could have been. Judges - Randy agrees with. Paula thinks she rocked. Simon says it was really sexy and she’s definitely in her element on Broadway. (Which, apparently is her Happy Place. Who knew?) And Ricky Minor in black, dancing? Where has that been, btw? Because that? Is a hawt bald man.

Yay, we get Castro next! NO! He takes Memories, from Cats. And all the joy is sucked immediately from the room. Dammit, Jason. Now I have to listen. You know how I said I hated that song Carly sung last week with the passion of a thousand burning suns? Yeah, this one? Hate even more. Most oversung song ever. I hate that he couldn’t get original, in a week where it could have really paid off, and instead goes for the equivalent of the diva tune. This, Phantom, and Evita, should have been taken off the table, so they’d be forced to do what Syesha did. (And no, I cannot believe I just typed that.) Lloyd-Weber is essentially horrified to see some dread locked white boy singing his singature diva tune. Well, Andy? That makes two of us. And I love the guy. (Do I have to listen?) Okay. Here we go. And, you know? His breathy voice and soft spoken style are actually working for me. In fact, the opening few bars kinda gave me goosebumps - for real. How in the hell did that happen? Maybe it took someone who had no clue about this song, its history, or anything to do with it, to sing it so purely. But he did. Then, very unfortunately, he stays in such a low register, it loses its opening punch. Frankly, the fact that he got me to love even eight bars of this song is remarkable. Judges? Randy proclaims trainwreck. Paula liked that he sang it like Joe Cocker instead of power diva. Simon says, longest two minutes ever. To his credit, Jason agrees with him. Not his favorite week either. Aww, I love my woodland creature. (Ryan? Shut up.)

Brooke White, who could redeem a couple of snoozefest weeks with something really solid here, is up next. (I’m taking a wild guess right now and saying they’re giving the pimp spot to Archie tonight.) Aaaaand, she picks the ballad he wrote for the new Evita movie. Really? So….Syesha, who couldn’t steer clear of a diva song if paid big piles of money to do it, is the only one to get original tonight? Oh, the irony, people. Oh. The pain. So, now I suffer. And so, I think, does Brooke. I would have pegged Syesha going home tomorrow, but Our Brooke has made several showings in the bottom three and tomorrow might be her turn for the bottom one. And I’d be okay with that. On top of that, Our Brooke, who feels the pain of mortals only on a slightly lower scale than Archie, actually had to have Lloyd-Weber walk her through the song and explain it’s meaning, so she could sing it with conviction. It’s a tragic song (oh yay) and she still had to work to wrap her head around it. Really? Lord Andy has hope. Me? Not so much. Sigh. Here we go. Aaaaand, she breaks on the opening note, and has the orchestra start over. Now, she’s done this once before, but then it was just her on the piano. This time, I don’t think the judges will gush about what a pro move it was to start over rather than sound rough. This time, I think she just choked. Harsh? Could be. But I’m kinda done with Brooke. And ,though she brings it in the end, I think, overall, the song was truly the trainwreck Randy said Jason’s was. Judges? Randy thought it was uneven. Paula struggles to find a nice way to say mean things. She chastises about the start/stop/start. Then she reverts to her loopy form. Simon says it was strained and the stop/start cost her. She’s all tragic and vulnerable. And I’m still done with her.

Also and? They resist giving Archie the pimp spot on Broadway night. At least there are some surprises tonight.

He’s next. And, nonononononono NO, AGAIN with the power female diva sung by a guy thing? And from Phantom no less? Why, Archie? Why? Whhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Am I being punished? Is that it? What did I do to deserve this? What did America do? We’ll stop, just tell us. Make it stop. Pleeeeaaase, make it stop. Lloyd-Weber is caught further off guard by the fact that Archie reworked the song entirely, but feels that kind of bravery deserves accolades. Oh, you sad, silly man. Clearly, he doesn’t watch this show. He’ll learn. I don’t even recognize the song in this form. It’s nice. Sung well. And he did make it contemporary, if not particularly memorable. At all. What kind of night is it when Syesha is the memorable one? I ponder while the judges struggle to find meaning in another ill advised, crap theme night. Sorry, Sir Lord Lloyd, or whatever your title is. Personally, you rock, but on Idol? Not so much, really. Judges? Randy says he is the one to beat. Oookay. Paula gushes loopily. Simon thought it wasn’t memorable (hello!) And Lloyd-Weber looked underwhelmed. I defer to Simon and the Sir. Ryan mercifully shuts up and doesn’t try to bury Archie’s entire career, as he did with Jason.

Aaaand, the penultimate spot goes to….Carly? Hey, wow, finally, a worthy pimp spot! (I SO hope he brings it.) Oh, what does she choose, dare I uncover my eyes? And pop off the mute button? Praise the Lloyd, he convinces her NOT to sing another Phantom tune. (Hallelujah!) And she goes for Jesus Christ Superstar, which, for her? Could be a knock out and is definitely more a show stopper potential than yet another dreary power ballad. Brooke was enough for one night, thanks. So, kudos on song choice. Let’s hope she makes it pay off. The paisley now makes sense. And, love it or hate it, love or hate her, but this was waaaaaay better than any ballad she could have chosen. I don’t know if her voice was quite big enough for the whole orchestra behind her. And the background singers got all tripped up in her stylized vocals, but oh well. So far? It’s Carly and Syesha’s night. Up is down, down is up. Dogs and cats, living together. Cook, end the craziness! Judges? Randy says the big voices rule on Broadway night. And…true. Perhaps that’s the explanation. Paula woo hoodles. Simon said it was a bit shouty but one of his faves of the night. And Carly trots out a Simon Loves Me (this week) tee shirt, all happy. Which, I’m all for anything that brings more joy to this stage. So, hoo-yah. Mostly because it cut off the Ryan Babble Time.

Now FINALLY we get David Cook. I can’t even imagine what he’s going to do, but it better be damn fantastic. So, he chooses Music of the Night, from Phantom, and we learn he grew up doing musical theater. All of this crushes me, mostly because, REALLY DAVID? So what if this is your wheelhouse. PHANTOM? Must you? For the love of…Even if he sings the daylights out of it, I’m already so disappointed. You know, Weber did write OTHER MUSICALS besides the Big Three. Ask Syesha. Oh, okay, go ahead and sing. Sheesh. Opening notes….and I’m already numb and losing interest. David, how could you do this to me? Yes, he sings it perfectly. Powerfully, even. But contemporary? New? Different? No. No. And no. And I find, sadly, I care not. This is the first week I will not download a tune. Judges? Randy says it was an amazing vocal. True. But hot? I think not. Paula says he’s well rounded with a beautiful instrument. Also true. Yet, still, I care not. However he did look beautiful tonight. Simon Says he made the most of the night and the song he was given. True, true, and true. And yet America weeps. And not in a good, Idol Gives Back kind of way.

So, there is your night, people. Bottom three? Should be Brooke, Brooke, and well, Brooke. I don’t think anyone else deserves the boot or the bottom tonight.

What do you think?

Don’t forget, today is your last day to enter the contest this week. Details in Monday’s post. Winner announced tomorrow! Tonight, we send a singer home. Do your work, America. Get it right.

Tags: Writing //