Dancing With the Stars…three weeks until the finale, folks. We’re down to six couples. Tonight they dance two, count em, two dances. One ballroom, one latin. And it’s alll? LIIIIIIIVE!

Ballroom round:

Tony/Marissa are out first, and while it’s still relative, her hair and dress are more subdued and not as garishly distracting as before. They tackle the tango and do a pretty good job of it. She really has just let down any and all guards and is going for it, which I think is what the crowd reacts to with her. Nicely done. They get a 27.

Cheryl/Christian get the foxtrot and I’m all distracted by whether Cheryl’s dress is the I Dream of Jeannie pant cut, or just oddly paneled in the front. Yeah. Oddly paneled. Very distracting. In the intro clips we meet Christian’s very adorable daughter, but the moments on film between them seem really posed, as if they had to do a million takes to get it right. A shame. He could use the boost. They looked….nice on the floor. Not spectacular, eye-riveting, but nice. They get a 25.

Mark/Kristi have a really nice ensemble, with Mark in dress whites and Kristi in a very flattering Edyta-style white flowy cutaway thing. (That would be the technical term.) They do a lovely waltz using an umbrella as a prop, and though Uncle Lenny wasn’t all that about the prop, and Kristi kind of overspun some of her turns (weren’t you realllllly glad Mark got there in time for her calculated fall out of those turns? Whew!) But they were lovely as always. Mark? Just a note, but tone down the facial expressions a notch or six. Or ten. Animated bordering on comic book. They get their lowest score - at 26. They’ll live.

Karina/Mario tackle the fox trot and you know, I think that while Lenny is right and he’s not the most elegant dancer, they really went for it. I liked the costuming and the music and I think he did the best with what he had. Judges agreed and gave them a 24, which was the lowest this round, but still the right number here.

Derek/Shannon apologize again….and again, then go out and do a pretty fierce tango. I honestly thought it was her best performance yet, given her awkward giraffe-legginess. I think Derek really got a break-through performance out of her this week. Judges were very, very kind with her. They get 26.

Last in this group is Edyta/Jason and usually these two are just missing something for me, but tonight? Wowza squared. They had the quick step which is never my favorite dance and he nailed it, y’all. He totally went for this and it showed. Fun, fast, flirty, great music, stunning costumes (I know!) and a whole lot of fun out there. I watched it twice. So far, easily the dance of the night. With Kristi and Mark flailing a bit so far, this really puts him in the running. They get a 29. (Which puts him in first and Kristi? In fourth! Wow.)

On to Latin Round!

Marissa/Tony get the rumba, which, a few weeks ago would have, I think, been rather painful to watch, given the overt slow and sexy nature of it. But Tony has really pulled her out of her shell, and she definitely goes for this. It’s next to impossible to look all sinewy and sexy when you’re short and have a fireplug shape, which this dance demands…but she gets everything she has out of everything she’s got. Will she ever be Edyta? No. But do you admire her dedication and willingness to potentially look the fool? I know I do. And there was nothing to be embarrassed about with that routine. Her hair is down and lovely for the first time ever, her make up is understated and she is truly beautiful. Her smile during the dance was sparkling. Well done, Marissa. The judges give her a 25.

But wow, can we PULEEEEEZE get Samantha far, far away from these people? She’s just so awkward and pushy with her questions and buzz kills so much of the night for me by making the couples, who come back all bubbly and out of breath instantly awkward and guarded. What will it take to get rid of this chick?

Next we get Christian/Cheryl with the samba. MUCH better outfit for Cheryl, who really has been suffering at the hands of stoner wardrobe dude this year. And Christian is sleeveless, which is a look I can always get behind on this show. The music is fun and flirty as is the routine, but though there’s all kinds of hip action and going for it, once again their routine has a bit of the manic to it, even in a routine that kind of demands it. And it’s not Christian that gives off the almost desperate vibe when this happens - and it happens a lot to them - it’s Cheryl. Given how brilliant her choreo used to be before the Hough sibs showed up, it’s odd to see this continue to happen. I just want them to relax into it more, but they always seemed so rushed. Like if she just makes it super fast, it will be more impressive. Not so much really. But, all that said, still a fun routine. Right up until the end when Christian pulls something in his forearm twirling Cheryl around. At first I thought they just missed a hold, but then he essentially stops and holds onto his forearm. Cheryl is still dancing, oblivious to this as they aren’t in hold at the time, and then she spins around and he tries to get back into it so she won’t crash, but he can’t hold her and they both end the song on the floor with a stumble and tumble. Really so unfortunate, but he’s clearly injured, so you can’t really hold any of it against him. Tom tries to determine how serious it is and Christian reassures him several times that it’s just a muscle pull and he’s fine, but he’s clearly not fine, so Tom goes to a commercial break. Yeah, after having Marie faint literally at your feet last season, this is not a bad idea. I’m concerned, with the kinda glazed look and the grip he has on his forearm that he actually snapped something, or tore something. Yikes.

We come back from commercial and are told the EMT claims severe muscle cramp, he’s wrapped in ice and either very embarrassed or seriously trying to hold it together because of the pain. Or both. Aww. Judges say they will score up to the point the injury occurred, and now, dear heavenly god, we have to watch Sam interview them. Really? Can we just go to the scores part please? Mercifully, Tom wastes time while the judges mark their ballots and Sam kicks it right to scoring. Yay, a correct move there. They get straight 7’s for a 21 and then Sam doesn’t shut up and I really, really want to duct tape her mouth shut. Something. Anything. Bueller?

Moving on, it’s Kristi/Mark with cha cha cha. I really liked the hair. I know it was over the top, but I thought it suited the dance. Now, we know the whole latin sexy sinewy thing isn’t a natural feel for her as she’s a more conservative person, but she really goes for it here and I think she did a great job. But jeez, once you notice Mark’s plastic-used-car-salesman cheesy grin in these dances, it’s hard to look away. Can’t he even attempt dark and sexy? No, it’s all these Oh! faces and lip synching. It suits some dances, but I think sexy would have been a better thing here and helped her out a lot, too. Ah well. I don’t think they’ll get noted for it as the dance itself was really tough choreo, danced swiftly and smoothly, really brilliant. The techno contemporary moves at the end will likely piss Uncle Lenny off, but there was plenty of content in this, too. Aaaand, Lenny totally gets all old fashioned and cranky, setting Bruno totally off while Carrie Ann just shakes her head. I love these guys. Truly. And you know Lenny is totally a teddy bear, he’s got such a delightful sense of humor about himself that I just sort of shake my head now too when he gets all curmudgeonly on me. Oh, Lenny. In the end, they get a decent score - 28 - 10, 8, 10 (ha!) and totally make Tom giggle, which I loved in a big way.

Mario/Karina get the mambo. Okay, I really loved this dance. I think it’s my favorite from them by far. It didn’t hurt that Mario’s pants made every woman in America appreciate his very fine behind. I thought they had real sparkle in this one and the music and rhythm was great. Mario really looked like he was leading her this dance. For a 21 one year old kid? Very impressive. Judges love em. Scores - 27.

Tom informs us that Christian has gone to the hospital for further tests and we’ll get the scoop on the results show. Along with the always elegant ballroom favorites….Def Lepard?

Shannon/Derek get the mambo as well, which is odd to have the same dance back to back, but whatever. I guess with them all dancing two dances and keeping the same order of appearance, that can get tricky. And Derek clearly choreo’d some in your face hip action for Shannon to deliver as she wiggles right on the judges dais to kick the dance off. The sad part is, the judges are still right - she rotates her hips mechanically, not organically. Still, it was cute and made the judges laugh. But while Latin is very much Mario’s friend, it is clearly not poor Shannon’s. It exposes all of her awkward leggy stiffness. She simply can’t get them to go all rubbery and flexy, much less fluid and sexy. A shame, she’s a beautiful girl, a good performer, and she has great chemistry with Derek. But I think she’s come as far as she can. I feel sorry for the judges as, after last week, and getting the chance to be kind to her in her earlier dance, if they’re honest, this round there will be another tough critique. Aaaaand? Critical but kind. Kinder than I’d have been - she really just kind of stumbled around. Watch it back. Score - 24. I’d have gone with 7s. And that would have been kind. Really, watch the tape. She’s not really dancing in between segments, just wandering from one moment to the next. It’s bad. Easily worst of the night.

Last up, Jason/Edyta, and I realize that I don’t have that pair that I anxiously await each week, to see what they’re going to do. This time, after their first dance, is as close as I’ve come to that anticipation. I hope this paso rocks. And? Uh…wow…and they get the NFL Monday Night Football theme to open the dance, with Jason wearing black paint under his eyes. Shameless? Totally. Effective? You betcha. He is SO on for this. But then the music doesn’t segue to paso music, but rather they are going to use the whole song. (I didn’t even know it was a whole song) and much like the Star Wars paso from season past, this doesn’t work for me. At all. There’s not enough musicality to it. But…hey. You do what you do. The dance, if you can see it through the football ditty, is pretty good. I’d have much rather had a Free Your Mind kinda tune. Wow, imagine that with this guy. Judges are really on - I just got such a kick out of them tonight. Score -26.

Yay, we get Kenny and Dance Center back tomorrow night!

Tough tonight to decide who goes home, as I thought, skill wise, Marissa was next to go, but then she rocked it out the park tonight. It could possibly be Shannon. She executed her first dance well, and has better dancer lines tonight than she has in the past, but killed that dead in the Latin round. I know Mario was in the bottom last week and I have no idea if his performances tonight will change that, but I thought he was really good in the mambo tonight, and fun in his fox trot. Christian, I think, might have been in danger tonight, he seemed a bit disconnected personality wise, then the injury happened, so…hard to call. I predict Marissa is safe again….and Shannon goes home.

Overall scores?Edyta/Jason - 55, Mark/Kristi - 54, Karina/Mario - 51, Tony/Marissa - 51, Derek/Shannon - 50, Cheryl/Christian - 46

What did you think? Who leaves? We know who sings! Tonight on Idol is Neil Diamond night. Woo hoo, the chance for fun music returns. I cannot wait to see what they do this week. I hope we rebound strong. We kinda have to at this point.

Don’t forget to check out the Very Special Prize in this week’s SHaQ Attack contest - check Monday’s post for the details. You won’t want to miss this one!

Aaaaaaand DISH it out!

Tags: Writing //