Two dances tonight, Latin and Ballroom. We’re down to five couples left….and it’s LIIIIIIIIVE!

Ballroom Round first:

Kristi/Mark get the quick step and opt to tackle the lift rule (one per dance as long as it’s character with the style.) I thought the blue satin costuming was a bit too…blue, but they danced well. Mark’s guppy face was in full force, and it kind of looked like he was tugging Kristi along for the ride in parts — I didn’t connect with them as much as I did last week, but it’s a fun dance and a nice, upbeat way to start the show. Judges - Len loved. Bruno loved. Carrie Ann agreed with me on the dragging. 9, 10, 10 = 29.

Mario/Karina bring the Viennese Waltz to the floor. He gets hammered a bit more by the judges than I think necessary, and I don’t think Karina has ever been a fave with the viewers, (including this one) so I hope they really knock it out of the park as I think he deserves a bit better than he’s been getting. The bondage gown was a bit much for the waltz, but what do I know. Karina choreographs slinky/sexy, and Mario is supposed to be finding a better ballroom form, so we’ll see how that goes. they seemed a bit off at the start, and Karina overacts, so I just forced myself to watch Mario and he really did a Jason-type job. He’s not the imposing giant that Jason is, but I thought he did well, all things considered. Wonder if he’d have fared better with a different partner. I would have enjoyed seeing him with Julianne. Maybe even Anna. The lift was pretty. Judges - Bruno loves. Carrie Ann says, and I quote “I have to say, it was nice and stiff, just the way I like it.” Yeah. I’m SO not going there. Because, I kinda don’t have to. Len? Adored. Nice to see. 9, 9, 9 = 27.

Sam? Still incredibly lame.

Marissa/Tony get the fox trot. They get New York, New York for their tune, and perfect for her, or what? Way to go, Stoner Music Dude. Plus, they finally stopped setting the makeup gun to whore and she looks really lovely now. Her body is short and stocky, so she can’t do the long, elegant lines or leg extensions, it’s just not there for her frame, but what she lacks there she makes up with sparkling smiles and real devotion to the routine. Not the best dancer left by any measure, but I find myself rooting for her. The lift at the end was triumphant and beautiful, really got the crowd going. Way to go, Tony. (And I never thought I’d type that.) Judges - Carrie Ann loves her sparkle. Len thinks she had elegant lines in hold. Bruno didn’t think it lived up to a quarterfinal routine. Spoil sport. 9, 8, 8 = 25

Jason/Edyta bring us the tango. And, with his size and strength and her athleticism, I think we’re in for wild lifts in both dances tonight. I would think they’d be really strong in this. And they are - it’s a well performed dance and they get actual tango music, and yet, I felt distanced from it. Not sure why, it was very good. Judges - Len wasn’t sold because it was too Argentinian, prompting Bruno to have a complete coronary occlusion, while Carrie Ann thinks they are compelling, and Bruno is still arguing with Len as Tom sends them to the back room. Sam, for the love of God, shut up. 10, 9, 10 = 29.

Pimp spot goes to the injured Christian and Cheryl. Up first for them, the tango. Cheryl says the biggest challenge is choreographing around his injury. I bet. I’m still squeamish and don’t want to watch. (In an interview with Christian this week, he said that Jason got his NFL team trainer for the Dolphins to send up an arm brace which would help stablize the elbow. Kinda cool. Still? I might could get sick watching this.) Here we go with Team One Hand, Two Hearts. Okay, so I wondered about the sparkly gloves they were wearing back stage. Looks like Stoner Music Dude has them dancing tango to….Beat It. Oookay. But you know what? Like with Maksim and Mel and their Free Your Mind routine, I like this kind of dramatic music. I’m already more engaged then I was with Jason/Edyta, but I’m still peeking between my fingers. You know, it’s interesting, but I’ve been saying all season that Cheryl’s choreo was too manic, too rushed, so this week it’s much slower, I’m assuming due to his injury, and they actually look much better. And they managed a pretty cool one armed lift. Honestly? For a guy with one arm, I thought it was pretty damn good. Judges: Bruno applauds. Carrie Ann couldn’t find a flaw. Len bravos Cheryl’s choreo, as well he should. 10, 9, 9 = 28. Christian is totally stoked to get his 10 -and it’s earned, I must say.

Tomorrow night sounds like it’s going to be just stellar. Can’t wait!

Latin Round!

Kristi/Mark and the samba. Okay, so I picked on the royal blue satin, but I can also say that fire colors aren’t Kristi’s friend either. She has an outstanding figure of a world class athlete, so it takes some pretty whack costuming to put that little on that body and have it not be all that flattering. Mark, on the other hand, wears clown colors quite well. Which…to no one’s surprise. Mark really is a stellar dancer, and his obvious pleasure and joy in the motion really comes through, but man, the mugging grates. Kristi does embrace the samba roly-poly-ness, but….maybe it’s the outfit, or her super white skin in a latin dance, I don’t know. The super fast spins were cool, but it wasn’t a love it dance for me. Judges - Carrie Ann says it was a little off for her. Len said the speed was good, but lost the grace. Bruno says she’s a bejeweled hummingbird. Seriously, I love him. And as much as I love Bruno is how much I can’t stand Sam. Wow, I can’t really listen to her anymore. At all. FF. 8, 9, 9 = 26.

Mario/Karina get the jive. And wow, Mario biffs the cartwheel over her head and does some lame wheelbarrow looking thing to the side. Dammit. Ah well, hopefully to be swiftly forgotten. Cute outfits and fun tune, but like the dance before, it seems off a little. He recovered nicely from the biff, but it’s not in as good a sync as it could be. This is really making Cheryl’s choreo shine right now - maybe all she needed was a good reason to slow down and be more careful and methodical in her plotting. Oddly, it seems that Karina has taken on Cheryl’s manic-danciness. She seems rushed. The lift was a bit needlessly complicated, but he pulled it off all right. She’s not on a stretcher right now. About which Tom is really relieved. Judges? Len is squinchy faced, and I get why. Mario whips out the chorus of the song, and boy can surely sing. Maybe he could do a guest spot sometime. Bet that wouldn’t be lip synced! Bruno says Len is harsh and they had the spirit of rock n roll, youthful, and Tom quips that the problem with Len is he’s closer to the Rock of Ages. Ha! Love Tom. Carrie Ann said he brought a good flavor to the jive and didn’t mind the flexed “ugly feet” that turned off Len. 9, 8, 9 = 28

You know what, I really need to take a moment and say what is with the Wonder Woman freak show singer in the band? I mean, I’m sure she can sing, but just, wow that she goes out in public, willingly, thinking that hot mess looks good. Week after week, it’s like Little Shop of Horrors with her. Why? If she has friends? One word: Intervention. Okay….got that out of my system.

Yay, The Mole is coming back! I am SO there. Major MAC. Woo hoo!

Marissa/Tony tackle the mambo. Much more flattering dress than round one. But they’re getting the same traditional carnival type music Jason and Edyta did. Wow, it just really removes a lot from the dance. Otherwise, it’s good. No, not on the technical level of the others, but they’re fun. Sue me. Judges - Bruno says great sexy and hip action. Carrie Ann says she loves how she goes for it. Len says it was too careful, not raunchy enough. OOkay, Uncle Lenny. Backstage Marissa cracks me up when she sighs that “I’ll never be raunchy enough. For Len. Who knew?” Ha! 8, 8, 9 = 25.

Jason/Edyta with the samba. Edyta’s body is ridiculous. And contrasted with big boy Jason, it’s almost just too much. I liked this one more than their first one, but he kind of looks like he’s line dancing some of the time. Kinda weird music, too, but not as bad as their first one. Still, they do bring the sex’ay. Judges - Carrie Ann doesn’t think he pulled off the flamboyant. Len says it was alright but he looked uncomfortable. Bruno says it was a turkey. Wow, I didn’t think it was that bad. They mention that is must be a hard dance if the best two struggled (Kristi had this, too.) 8, 7, 8 = 23. Ouch, Uncle Lenny! Wow.

Cheryl/Christian in the mambo with a kinda awkward sequined arm cover. Hunh. Less could be more. That’s all. With the struggles tonight (and in the Latin Round, whoda guessed?) these two can actually take the top spot with a 28 or more. I loved their tango, so come on Cheryl, do it one more time! Okay, her outfit is all glittery flashy goodness and his bare chest and arms? So not a problem with me. At all. We’re a little back in Cheryl Manic Mode, but it is the nature of the dance, so I forgive. Latin Boy is definitely in his element. Talk about sex’ay. (Really, for one arm? Even for two arms, this is easily the latin dance of tonight. Somewhere, Def Leppard’s drummer smiles.) Cheryl deserves an award for that choreo. Sure, he posed a lot, but come on! Even a lift? That was damn good fun. The crowd, they go wild. Judges? Len says fabulous job, well done. Bruno says one armed magic. Carrie Ann is open mouthed happy. 10, 9, 10 = 29

Overall Scores?

Cheryl/Christian - 57
Kristi/Mark - 55
Mario/Karina - 53
Edyta/Jason - 52
Marissa/Tony - 50

Bottom Two - a guess would be Mario along with Marissa. Going home? I’m thinking Marissa this week. Which, I love her, but it’s her turn compared to who is left. I’d have long since predicted a Jason/Kristi final two, but wow, Christian so brought it this week. Of course, next week they draw dances out of a hat, so it’s highly likely the injury, which isn’t going to heal until he has surgery, will keep them from the finals. Tonight was great, but mostly I’m just glad he didn’t get hurt. Hope that status doesn’t change. I feel sorry for Cheryl having to choreo two more dances around his injury. You could tell she was really nervous the whole time. In that respect, if he went home, that would be fine, too. But I’m doubting that will happen after tonight’s performances.

Who do you pick? Who goes? Who wins it all? Dish time!

Don’t forget to vote in this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. You get three tries to get it right. Details in Monday’s post.

Tonight? We have singing. And what sounds like a better theme. On paper. We’ll see how well that translates to the stage when the Idols bring it at 8, 7 central. Between that and the Dancing Extravaganza, tonight’s gonna be F-U-N!

Tags: Writing //