It’s Results Night on Dancing With the Stars!

First up–well, okay, before we get to first up, should we discuss Brooke’s drunken hair bun? No? Alrighty then! So, first order of business is Len telling us who got the encore. Now, obviously, with two Argentine Tango’s tied for first and one for second, it’s gonna be an Argentine Tango, right? Because who doesn’t want more of this…..

Well, not Len, apparently.

I had my super-sized fan ready, my properly chilled and fruity umbrella drink…aaaand they give it to Derek & Maria. I’m so not kidding.

Now, sure, their salsa was a cute routine and all, but it was overscored the first time. And it didn’t make me reach for my fan or my drink last time. I only reached for it this time to drown my sorrows. I was really stunned they got the repeat. Sure, sure, when they got to the smooch part, they surprised the judges by running over and Derek kissed Carrie Ann instead, so Maria ran over and planted one on Bruno. And, okay, it was cute. But it doesn’t make up for no tango encore! I noticed Len was left out of all the smooching. Well…he made us watch their salsa again instead of one of those sizzling tangos, so no love for you from me, either, Mister! I get that William’s ankle is hurt, so that probably left him out of the deal, which….more’s the pity for all of us. But why not Katherine & Mark? Or Peta & Donald? Color me disappointed. And sadly underheated.

But there is a Dance Duel tonight! So I will persevere.

First results go to Derek/Maria, Maks/Melissa & Gladys/Tristan:

Derek/Maria are safe…no surprise there! And since Tom isn’t saying anything about tonight being dangerous or surprising, I’m thinking Maks/Melissa are safe……and they are! So…awwww….you can’t have Gladys in jeopardy with Motown Week in the offing…. (Of course, since the judges pick who goes, Gavin? Dude. I’m so sorry…. But I’d have to go with Gladys, too…just for one more week, at least!) And? NO! They’re safe! Which makes me very, very happy….except! Holy Ballroom Batman! Who IS in jeopardy?

I’m thinking it’s gotta be Gavin now…along with Jaleel and….I dunno! Melissa and Gladys were my next in lines. Oh Tom. And here you didn’t prime the fear pump! You should have! I’d have made more umbrella drinks to, you know, prepare myself. Yes, that’s totally why! Well, I should make some more right now then. Be right back…

Ahhh. Refreshed. So….I’m thinking, maybe it’s just Bottom 2 given the Dance Duel, and that’s all who will be in jeopardy. Len promises us it won’t be about favorites but strictly on who dances the best to save themselves. Well…we’ll just see about that! (Again, though, Gavin? I really do love you, man. So sorry.)

Up next? Wait. First, can I just say I’m already missing Santana? I mean, we got KISS both nights, I was kinda hoping for a killer opening routine with Santana and the pros. Pout!! Instead we get Train. Yes, the group who gave us one of the most overplayed songs in history: Drops of Jupiter. Which never met a singer, commercial, or politician it didn’t like. And, yes, I liked, but then…no. It really must be stopped. At least for a period of say…five years. Then it can come back as a fondly remembered oldie. It’s worth mentioning here it has not been five years. Fortunately, someone must have told them about my new rule, as, instead, they are going to sing something from their new album, California 37, which hit the stands today! I drink a toast to this! And, also because I am still bummed. No tango. No Santana. How much can one viewer be expected to bear, i ask you? (Plus? This new song is no Jupiter. Just sayin.)

However, much is forgiven because…Louis! (I love love his choreography!) Ultimately, I’m happy because it’s unlikely this song will infiltrate all of humanity. So there is that. Also…was I the only one who didn’t realize that was Cheryl dancing with Louis? I thought it was one of The Troupe, who are all just a blur to me. So…I had to go back and look. Hunh!

The next trio up for results are with Brooke of the Drunken Bun: William and the very quickly changed Cheryl, Gavin/Karina, and Roshon/Chelsie. Brooke proceeds to ask them all deeply insightful and truly illuminating questions that have each and every one of us riveted to the screen with her delightfully witty quips and sassy retorts and…okay, so we all know that’s totally not true. Not any of it. I jest. And drink some more. Perhaps I will end up listing before this is over….much like Brooke’s hair. But…I digress.

It’s Macy’s Stars of Dance! It’s Latin Dance Extravaganza! With Sheila E! Things are looking up. Kind of. The opening was kind of oddly martial arts meets tribal dance. It didn’t look Latin to me. Just because you put fringe on it don’t make it Latin, chicas! Then the band kicks in and sleeveless men show up and I cease to care so much what kind of dance it is. (Is it me, though, or is the chick with the huge headdress kind of oddly bowlegged or….something? It’s weird.) But…Sheila was hot!

More results! Except, no. Another performance. Really? And it’s still NOT Santana? REALLY??? No, we get Selena Gomez. You’ll just have to pardon me, but if none of our pros hit the dance floor in the next thirty seconds, I’m just FF’ing through this. Aaand, poo. The Troupe shows up. Wearing weirdly flat shoes and stomping a lot. I’m out.

Now results? Yes! But it’s not the gang that was with Brooke. No, it’s Donald/Peta (Still sadly underscored. Len.) Mark/Katherine, and Cheryl/William….excuse me. Fan! Drink! Oh my. My…mymymymy. Why yes, just as good the second time around. And the twenty-second. Not that I rewound it. Much. Or often. Whew! (Love how sincerely excited the rest of the contestants were for them, too.)

Tom? Bring good news. Just sayin! (Hey…you know, in addition to the drunken bun, I’m just noticing there’s a drunken boob going on, too. Brooke, honey, straighten up the girls! And the hair!) William/Cheryl are safe! And no one is more relieved than a still sore William. I hope he can recover for next week, because…yeah, I want to see him dance Motown, are you kidding me? Katherine/Mark? Also safe! Donald/Peta? They are safe!

Gavin and Jaleel? Ruh roh. Just sayin!

But first, Tom tells us that a slate of pros are going to each coach a pair of young ballroom dancers who will battle it out on www.abc.com with episodes airing online, starting tonight…and the finals on the show May 1. Wow! I’m so psyched about this!! That could be fun! But mostly, HI TONY!! I’m so glad he’s back on my tv. So, going head to head: Team Karina v Team Cheryl, Team Lacey v Team Tony, Team Mark v Team Louis. I’m SO in! (I want this to be a whole separate show, don’t you??) Ballroom Battle!

Now we find out who is in the Dance Duel! Two of the following three: Gavin/Karina, Jaleel/Kym or Roshon/Chelsie. Who’s dueling? It’s as predicted! So, Gavin & Jaleel will be dancing at the same time in front of the judges. Here we go!

So, perhaps not the most exciting of first duels, if, as Len says it’s all about skill, then no way does Jaleel deserve to go home. They’re dancing cha cha to the same song, same time. I have to say, showing the rehearsal time they put in last night, I am impressed with how seriously and how hard Gavin worked. He jokes about not being good at this, because he’s being realistic, but in no way does that reflect any lack of commitment on his part. So…he gets madd props for putting in the hard work. Maybe harder, even, than the rest.

Wow, they’re all fancied up in black and white fringy outfits, looking sharp! Here we go! Karina and Gavin are kind of all over the place, with Karina doing most of the work. Kym and Jaleel look good, and would look even better if the camera was keeping them in frame more than a third of the time. But, as expected, this is no contest. Still, good on ya, Gavin, for giving it an honest go! And, I have to say, it was still exciting to watch. I can only imagine how it would be for any of the others to duel. Except, perhaps, for Gladys, if you’re talking pure skill alone? Wow. It could get real interesting out there! I don’t know how long they’ll keep the Dance Duel going, but I hope at least until it gets truly crucial! Of course, Gavin is sweet and adorable and charming on his exit and I still feel bad, even though we all knew it was coming, most of all him. I’m glad he lasted as long as he did!

Next week? Motown! With the dancers performing to live music sung by Motown faves! Guests include Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, & The Temptations! Tomorrow night? American Idol Top 7. Again! And, because no one left last week, I’m guessing two go this week, so it’s gonna be extra interesting! Well. I hope.

Don’t forget to enter this week’s Free Stuff Friday Contest! Here’s the details: Winner gets a book from my website bookshelf! Just send an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “The Good Wife…pfft! I want a Good Book!” in the subject line. (And please at least a first name in the body of the email, as I don’t want to use an email address to announce the winner.) Winner announced in Friday’s blog! Good luck!

I’m off to watch the first Ballroom Battle online! It’s Cheryl v Karina this week! Woot! DISH!!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Wow.

More photos tomorrow as they become available…but here are my thoughts after watching tonight!

From the opening with legend Carlos Santana burning up the stage, through 9 interesting, exciting, and sometimes downright steaming performances, it was one Latinpalooza of a night. Whew! I need a moment to collect myself. Okay….I need another moment. (Seriously, the Argentine tango with William? I may need a whole slew of moments. Hell, I may never recover. And I won’t even care.)

So, okay, when they first open, I genuflect for a moment over just how incredibly brilliant Carlos Santana is, and how everything he plays, no matter how many times I’ve heard it, sounds just as awesomely excellent and wonderful as the first time. Seriously. A master. Loved every single note of every performance of his tonight. To the point that, for the first time, ever, I actually enjoyed the The Troupe dancing while he played. Yes, he’s that transformative. Because, that was heretofore essentially a mission impossible.

Then we’re introduced to Tom and Brooke, who is channeling some kind of Tarzan’s Jane Meets the Addams Family’s Morticia in ways that weren’t necessarily a good idea. We shift over to the stars and pros coming down the stairs, led by Maria of the Million Busted Body Parts…and she’s sporting a headdress that would make a Vegas showgirl weep with envy. All I could of was, “Right. The best thing to do for someone with all her injuries is make her balance a ten pound, three foot tall weight on her head while combing down stairs in spike heels. Derek….tsk. Beyond that it was a bountiful fringe factory full of tassels and twinkles bouncing down the stairs, with enough collective spray tan to turn Norway into Cuba. And I liked it!!

Up first with a samba is Jaleel and Kym, who is wearing some kind of fringe that starts over the boobs and winds its way around her torso then down one leg, so she looks like the Creature from the Samba Lagoon. It’s part sexy, but a whole lot of parts distracting. (Seriously, could you look away from it?) That said, I thought they did a really good job with the dance, Jaleel totally brought it, though a bit frantically (to me) at times. But it was fun, lively and a good opening to the show. Of course, having watched the whole show first before blogging this time, I do feel like he might be that surprise (or not) Bottom 2 candidate, as, given how the night played out, they could be easily forgotten. The judges gave him much love at his improvement from last week and he gets a 24. Which…is about right.

Second on the floor is Melissa & Maks with their salsa. I really admire her overcoming the concussion and going onward, gung ho. But, that said, I think that Maks was a bit too ambitious with this routine. Melissa totally threw herself into it, but the problem was it looked, at times, like she was having to fling herself around the floor just to keep up. The judges agreed and give them a 21, which…also fair. Could Melissa be in danger? Quite possible.

Next is Maria & Derek with a salsa, danced mercifully without the showgirl headdress. Now, it was a super fast paced routine and I thought she did a good job, but it had a kind of awkward pace for me. When they did the kiss, which was cute and all, it seemed like rather than build energy, the steam kind of went out of it after that. If felt decently executed but flat and a bit slowed down. Plus, I thought she was ten times sexier in her black stretchy work out pants than she was in that kind of oddly too long fringe skirt…which is weird, because she looked great…and yet, true. Also, Derek. Honey. Did they run out of spray tan? Cuz, I can see that happening this week, but, honestly….no spray tan time = keeping shirt on. Just sayin. Judges think the whole thing was beyond spectacular and just go basically ape for it. Which, completely surprised me. I wonder, if they watch it back later, after the body of work tonight, if they wouldn’t temper that enthusiasm just a wee bit. Or a whole lotta bit. They get crazy overscored 29. It was 27 at best. 26 even.

Then Katherine & Mark come out and do my favorite of dances, the Argentine tango. I thought this was lovely, in a very restrained undercurrent-y kind of way. Mark was blessedly toned down and really spotlighted Katherine, who was simply elegantly poised and beautiful throughout. A somewhat understated Argentine tango, but that feeling of restrained passion was played brilliantly and worked to her refined beauty. They also get 29 , but this time, I heartily approve.

Gavin & Karina are next with samba, which is tough for him, coming after that kind of performance. I don’t honestly think he can hit the high that he did last week, given it’s Latin week and I don’t think he’s got the sexy hips in him. But what I find eternally endearing about him is that he’s completely willing to immerse himself and just go for it, regardless of if his body is going to follow the commands with any sort of finesse. One of the things that struck me about their dance was that, for a guy who, honestly, at the beginning didn’t look like he had any rhythm or any hope of gaining any, Karina has turned him into a true dancer. Not even in the realm of the others in terms of technicality, but he personifies, in many ways what this show is about. Taking someone with no skills and bringing out in them whatever they have to give. And she has certainly done that. They get a 19, which is fair and all….but I still love him. I do think, however, that with the talent out there, he is quite likely in the Bottom 2 and the one to go this week, no matter how adorkable he is.

Can I say that not only am I loving the staging for each dance, it’s added a bit of flavor and fun to the night, but for once, the music selections are actually good! I know! Right on, Stoner Music Dude!!

Now things get H.O.T. hotttttt. Ssssssssssssizzling. It’s William, and Cheryl and Holy Argentine Tango Batman! There is no amount of iced umbrella drinks or fan big enough to ward off the heat that’s about to happen. I’ve followed Cheryl on Twitter for years, so I know this is her favorite dance and that she’s spent time in Argentina simply to indulge her love of it and soak up as much knowledge as she can in how to choreograph it. And boy does that show here. But, and it’s a doozy….what makes this snap, crackle and POP is that William is right. on. the. money. the whole way through. Normally you can see Cheryl guiding her partners through the dance, especially one as tricky as this one. But not this dance. He had her, took her, guided her, and was in total control and my, mymymymy. He can just come right on over here and take me, too, thankyouverymuch. Judges: Carrie Ann says he was like the Cuban tango James Bond and that was it exactly. That open tuxedo shirt, the undone tie around his neck, those hips moving and the way he put his hands on her? Just….whew! And wow. I need more moments again. They score: 29 Earned. Every. Point.

Now, you need time to recover from something like that, and they really balanced this out well, as the next performance is Tristan and Gladys with a samba. I love that he doesn’t go the old lady choreo route with her. For once, the music was up tempo, her dress was stinkin’ adorable (it was, too!), and so was she. All over the place. I love her pizazz and bright, saucy smile and the pure joy she takes in the performance as she’s doing it. Sure, she’s not near the top, or even the middle, in this pack, when it comes to technicality, but I sincerely doubt she’s going anywhere this week, anyway. (Especially when Brooke lets it out that next week is Motown Week! No way she can miss out on that!) Judges give her 22, which is somewhat generous, but you know, I just don’t care!

We’re left now with the final two guys, who topped the leader board last week. First up is Roshon and Chelsea. with a salsa. I loved her little fringy outfit the best tonight. It’s bright cheerful plumage really suited her blonde cuteness. Roshon totally throws himself into this, but what really took it to that adorable level where you just have to vote for him was him trying to emulate William in order to get his inner sexy dude on. To the point of putting a poolside poster of William on the wall. (I would buy one of those Right. Now.) Even more endearing was William laughing is very fine ass off when he spied the poster, but then giving Roshon tips on how to get is inner Rico Suave on. And, you know what? He totally did! I loved their routine. It was fast, challenging, and he was right on top of it, the entire time. I thought it was excellent. I was surprised he didn’t get better scores across the board, (seriously Len?) the 26 wasn’t shabby, but they earned at least 27.

Finally, we get Donald and Peta. Now, I also know that she competed in Argentine tango and is known to be quite good at it. I find myself not liking her personally a whole lot this season, there’s just a hint of mean girl under there or something. No proof, she behaves just fine. It’s just this…feeling. But, I gotta tell ya…THAT my tango loving friends, is the way to do an Argentine tango. Oh. My. God. Now, I know Donald did a fine job of partnering her, especially in those deliciously sinuous and sexy lifts. But, honestly, I can’t judge his performance at all, because I was riveted on hers. Did it change my personal feelings for her? Not really. But my madd respect for her as a dancer went up a handful of notches, that’s for sure. I thought they’d earned a better score than they got, especially from Len. If not a perfect 30, then 28/29. They do get 27, and that was, frankly, just too low.

All in all? Powerhouse night, and immensely entertaining. I loved the Santana moments throughout and listened to every one of them. I follow Louis and Anna and they talked about how tricky their dance was to Santana this week, with furious footwork…and boy they weren’t kidding, were they? Loved that. The time just flew by. One of my favorite nights of the season so far.

And it only gets better tomorrow. Not only do we really have no grasp on who might go and who might stay, we also get the Dance Off tomorrow night! Who will it be? I think Gavin will have a slot there. Maybe, because of performance placement, Jaleel as well. Or Melissa. But….what do I know? Nothing! And that just makes this all the more fun! I do think that if Gavin ends up in the Bottom 2 Dance Off, the judges will go ahead and send him home. And that? Would be fair. So, maybe not all that exciting. Unless! Like last week, he’s not in the Bottom 2. What then!

What say you Dancing Blog Babes?? Who did you love? Who is in jeopardy? Who should go home? Would you tango with William? I know, right? And now I get to go watch The Nathan Fillion Show with the Firefly reunion! Fan girl squee!!! It’s just an embarrassment of riches, really.

If you haven’t entered this week’s Free Stuff Friday contest here are the details: Winner gets a book from my website bookshelf! Just send an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “The Good Wife…pfft! I want a Good Book!” in the subject line. (And please at least a first name in the body of the email, as I don’t want to use an email address to announce the winner.) Winner announced in Friday’s blog! Good luck!

Now...DISH!!!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Gooder is too a word!

So, before we talk about another stunning leg in Tanzania on the Amazing Race…let’s talk about the even more ridiculous goodness that was The Good Wife.

Do you know what’s better than Alicia smacking down Mommy Dearest-in-law? Her own son doing the smacking, that’s what. And, because we love to hate on her, how delicious was it that Jackie landed herself in the hospital. Fake stroke, am I right? Just….wow.

Also, how dare they make Chandler Bing the bad guy? And how dare he be so damn good at it! I’d hate it a whole lot except it’s soooo goood! I mean, he’s actually gotten me rooting…for PETER! I know!! What’s up with that??

There was more Kalinda goodness and even a bit of Cary Agos foreshadowing…honestly, the only part I didn’t like? Was that whole thing with Will and the slutty recovering addict attorney. I mean, we’re not supposed to like her, right? So why does Will like her? Yeah, yeah. he needs something to do and she will lead him astray….. Yawn. Can we kill that storyline before it gains breath? Also? I thought we’d agreed we never needed to see Eli’s post coital bed head ever again. No, really. I meant that, show. Stop it. I did feel bad for the position he was put in….but you knew damn well he was going to walk. I’m thinking she got out while the getting was good, even if she’d like to believe otherwise.

Okay…on to Amazing Race: Tanzania. Can we just run the whole race there? That drive through the Ngorogoru Crater was so awesome. I want to GO!! NOW!! This feeling will fade next week when we head to India, if previous trips to India are any indication. This is traditionally where killer fatigue sets in and the teams all implode. And given the teams we’re dealing with this season…yeah, strap yourselves in and grab the ear plugs!

Things I loved this trip? Besides the incredible scenery? That Team Country Boys finally hit the mat first, despite Bopper’s bad knee. Also? Thank you show for pretty much keeping all but one or two tiny clips of Team Big Bro upbeat and non-sobby. We’re grateful. Keep that up, will you? I mean, we know it’s not like it wasn’t happening just as often as it usually does, we just say thank you for understanding we’ve already reached killer fatigue where they’re concerned. I was also thinking that it’s a shame that Team Beyotch/Aggro earned that moniker, because when they’re pleasant to each other, it’s not half bad. It’s just that they only do that half the time. Right? I know.

But the teams who get most of my disgust? Well, first, I keep trying to like Team Border Patrol, and for the most part, I do. I grew up in a law enforcement family and I understand you have to have a certain kind of arrogance when you’re willing to step into a situation where bullets might fly. It’s more or less vital. So, I cut them bunches of slack, especially since they otherwise have shown themselves to be Good Guys (donating some of their prize money to Team Country Boys.) But they really tested me, or AJ did, anyway, with his complete inability to just GET OVER IT. Sheesh! Dude. It’s a raaaaaaaaaace. You know better than to count on anyone. And why on earth would you decide, of all teams, to count on Dave and Rachel? Sigh. So…stop testing me. I want to love.

Who don’t I want to love? Ever? Well, we all know Team PassiveAggressive/AggroSpouses are just beyond saving at this point. And, honestly, Dave….dude, you really pulled a pouty face on the Amazing Bathmat when Kentucky quite fairly and squarely beat your butts? Really? Did you whine like that in combat, too? Of course, his pouty face did bring about pretty much my second favorite moment, after Team Country Boys winning the leg (okay, okay, my third favorite moment. Whoever put Phil in those jeans? And had him boogie to the tribal music? Keep up the great work!) But, after that, what I loved the very mostest? Was when, Dave, Pity Party of 1, was all “Oh no, it’s cool they won, but we just let ourselves down” and Phil jumped all up and down in his sh*t and more or less told him to shut up and give his wife some props, seeing as she’s raced her ass to the finish line first beside him FOUR TIMES. Seriously, Phil, madd huggz for that. There was even semi-eyebrow putdown porn. Will it make a difference in Dave? Ahahahahahahaaha. No. Of course not. And PassiveAggressiveRachel is just as intolerable because she’s so had it with Dave, we can’t stand listening to her pickpickpickpickpick at him, either.

So, here’s where we stand: I want Team Country Boys to win this. (And was I the only one kind of sad that when the finally win a leg, it wasn’t a cash prize or new cars or something their families could really use? I know Hawaii is cool and all…..but still….) I would be okay with Team Border Patrol coming in second to Team Country Boys, but only them. (Second to Dave/Rachel? Yikes. Not good.) I want Team Big Bro and TeamBeyotch/Aggro simply not to win. But! I want Rachel and Dave? To LOSE. Hard.

What say you, Blog Babes? Did you love Good Wife? Are you shocked to be rooting for Peter to win governor? Is Jackie faking? And who is the most satisfying winner of Amazing Race this year?

Before all the DISHing begins, don’t forget to enter this week’s Free Stuff Friday contest! Winner gets a book from my website bookshelf! To enter, just send an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “The Good Wife…pfft! I want a Good Book!” in the subject line. (And please at least a first name in the body of the email, as I don’t want to use an email address to announce the winner.) Winner announced in Friday’s blog! Good luck!

Now? DISH!!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Well, it’s been a week of interesting show results, but I think Idol Top 7 Results gets the win on the most surprising this week. Or…do they?

First, a few observations on the show: What the hell happened to Steven Tyler’s hair? It was like he did an aging rock star Trump combover. Whoever thought that was a good idea? You’re fired! There were two musical performances last night. JHud looked great and though songs like that, with a repetitive hook that just gets sung over and over (and over, and over) are a lot more fun to dance to than to watch, I let the tape roll and didn’t FF. So, that was a major accomplishment. Same couldn’t be said for James Durbin. Oh, he Durbin’d up the stage all over the place and I even think I’d like the studio version of the song, it was just…a lot. So, yeah…FF. Sorry. But he’s still cute with his naive let-it-all-out-there kind of way, and I like the guy…so am happy to see him happy and doing well.

Okay, enough with that. Let’s get on with the results. So, last night they finally had results that were topsy turvy enough to play the “Put Them In Groups” game, along with the “Choose The Loser Group” game, which, thankfully, Skylar (who was announced as safe), the unlucky victim, was having no part of.

When it was all said and divided, we had Hollie, Philip, and Colton in one group and Joshua, Elise and Jessica in the other. Now, I knew as soon as Hollie was paired with Phillip, she was safe, despite Jimmy wanting us to believe that Phil2 sang so badly the night before that he was Bottom 3 material this week.

First off, oh no he di’int. It might not have been Phil at his most powerful, but he’s locked and loaded his fan base now, and they ain’t going anywhere. When Colton was added to the group, then it was a slam dunk who was safe. While I thought Hollie would go home after having the bus repeatedly driven over her poor, little body for the past few weeks, maybe America was tired of her being piled on without even a hint of positive balance. Because, I think we all agree that she’s adorable and can sing like no other, and, yes, needs to mature…but we also, apparently agree that they were way too harsh on her, even with all those things considered.

So…that leaves us with Joshua, Elise and Jessica. Now, Elise in the bottom didn’t surprise me at all. It’s clear she can sing, but it’s equally clear that a whole lot of us just don’t like her much. Something about her personality rubs a lot of us, myself included, in a really wrong way. And she can only sing Zepplin so many times. Okay, once. So…no shock there, at all, and I felt, she was the one going home, fo sho.

Until…it was Joshua sent to safety first, and not Jessica. THAT? Was the only surprise of the entire night for me. Because Joshua has been in the bottom and, as I’ve said in my recaps, I don’t know if he’ll build the necessary fan base. And, frankly, we’ve all been agreeing of late that while Jessica has a voice that’s amazeballs, she, personally, isn’t really drawing us in. So her landing in the bottom three wasn’t entirely surprising, either.

But, Jessica landing in the Bottom 2? Definitely more surprising. And I knew as soon as it was her and Elise that the only reason they’d have that clearly oddball pairing, was if it were Jessica as the one in danger. And? Yeppers, that was it.

Now…one additional aside: as soon as they showed the Bottom 3, Steven goes on record saying they were using their Judge’s Save, no question. I get they only have two weeks left to use it. But, honestly, Stevie? You’d have used it for Elise? Really? I somehow doubt that. And, frankly, I’d even be surprised if they used it for Joshua, though, with Jimmy now back firmly in his camp, maybe they would have. Jessica was, honestly, the only one up there with a guarantee save. The other two I could see them using it on? Phil2 and Colton. That’s it.

So…fortunately Johsua and Elise will never have to find out just where they’d have rated,because it was Jessica. Judges didn’t even let her get through her sing out. They storm the stage, take the mic away, and tell her to go have a sit down in the Seats of Safety.

Now, did they do the right thing with that save? Well, sure they did. Obviously she’s one of the most talented, if not the most talented, purely vocally. If not her, than who, right? BUT! Does this mean two go home next week? Cuz, girls, I’d be gettin’ real nervous right about now! Just sayin.

And? I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find Jessica right back in there again. Because, honestly, it’s not happening to her because she doesn’t sing well. Or didn’t sing well. So….what could she do at this point to earn the votes she’s not getting? Nothing. Unless it was one of those things where folks voted to save the on-the-brink singers and just didn’t vote for her….. Do you think that’s it? I’m not so sure.

So, I’ll go out on a limb and say next week? Jessica, Elise, and Hollie? Be careful. Joshua…. mmm. Maybe you as well. Phil and Colton? Sit back boyz. You don’t have to worry until it’s Final 2 time. Just sayin.

What say you Blog Babes? Let’s DISH!

Oh! Wait! First, let’s give a big cheer to this week’s Free Stuff Friday winner! Congratulations, Alicia R!!! WOOT!! You win a copy of any book from my website bookshelf. Just send me an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with a few title ideas (in case I’m out of your first choice) and in the mail it will go! Next week? Oh yeah, we’re doing it again!

So…check in Monday for all the Sunday Night Dish and a new contest! But rightthisverysecond? DISH!!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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THIS! Is American Idol Top 7 Dish!

I feel like I’ve barely recovered from the craziness that was DWTS this week…and it’s already time for the Final 7 on Idol to sing at me. Motivating my blogging spirit is Ryan, who announces that FINALLY the kids have a chance to sing something, you know, relevant. They can choose any song from 2010 through to today. And it’s just about damn time. Now there is no reason for failure, and the pressure is on now to project the artist you are, and not the artist you are channeled through a Billy Joel song first performed before you were born.

Finally.

So, my hopes, they improve. We get Akon as the mentor this week, and the man has a pretty decent resume, I must say, and he’s attentive and interested…so let’s see what we get. (I’m not even going through the Hilfiger Fashion Moments any longer because…they’re not interesting and kids just wear whatever the hell they want anyway.) Also, the hometown stuff….with seven of them…after awhile, waving signs and crowds cheering just all kind of blur together. Suffice it to say each singer left has a crazy, sign-making hometown fan base who loves them and will scream until they’re physically sick just at the mention of their names…and just leave it at that.

Skylar is up first, choosing a song by Kellie Pickler. Jimmy and Akon don’t know it and are skeptical, but give it a listen…and she totally sells it. Akon is like who the hell is this and where did that voice come from? His use of a little foul language has Skylar blushing, but “welcome to Hollywood.” Just sayin. So, here we go. She does a nice job on it, and though Jimmy was also skeptical about her playing the guitar, I think it keeps her grounded on this song. It’s a big power ballad, not one she’s going to storm around the stage singing, so it keeps ber center stage behind the mic more believably. Nice job. Of course, part of me is thinking, with her being in danger…did they really need her to go first? Toss Elise up there, first, come on. But that was as memorable as she could possibly make it. She’ll either get the votes…or not. Judges…love.

Colton goes with Love the Way You Lie, and tries to out falsetto’s DeAndre, only not, because that was more squeaky than soulful and just, stop it. Please. Jimmy goes for the jugular and tells him straight out, “It’s between you and Phillip and you’re behind. How do we get him ahead.” Colton wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear this. They’re trying to push him to reach farther, but, frankly, it sounds exactly the same live as how he did it in rehearsal. Him at the piano, being all Coltonish and he’s incredibly good at being Colton, but I don’t think he has that distinct voice that when you hear it, you think, Ah, that’s Colton. He sounds generic pop to me. Good generic pop, but still…. When Phil sings, you know exactly who that is. And that’s going to be the difference between Colton not winning, and Phil, well….doing the exact opposite. And, the sad thing? There ain’t nothing he can do about it. Because he sang as beautifully as he was capable of, and it was quite pretty, but he’s still just Colton, a kid who sings really well…and might stand out amongst the 6 other singers on this show, and most of us sitting at home…but he won’t stand out from the pop world in general. Judges say he’s all signature and makes it all Colton. But while we get that on the show….would you get that listening to him on the radio? Mmmm. No.

First duo of the night: Elise & Phillip. Someone I Used to Know by Gotye. Elise fights for this song, Phil couldn’t be less enthused if he tried. Interestingly? It’s Phil’s parts I love best. Okay, okay, so yes, truth, I’m not an Elise fan, except, apparently when she sings Zepplin, and though I’m only a slightly more occasional fan of PhilSquared actually singing, especially when it’s a Jonny Lang song…this tally still goes squarely and firmly in the Phil Column tonight. Maybe because he wasn’t trying to pass his kidney stones through is larynx. And, admitted…this song suited Elise’s voice to a tee. I just don’t like her. Yeah. Total unfair bias, and yet, there you have it. Please don’t vote for her anymore. Please? I’ll even vote for Phil. Promise. Judges give it all to Elise, and duh. She sang most of it, because she picked it. Don’t care. Still picking Phil2.

Jessica is up. Sigh. I have Jessica Diva Bebe Whatever Fatigue. (I’m just a barrel of love tonight, aren’t I?) Singing a Jasmine Sullivan song that no one knows, so…okay. Akon and Jimmy fall all over themselves at how amazing she is, and, honestly, she’s 16 with pipes like no other. I get it. And then some. I really do. And it’s impressive. I’m impressed as hell, every week. And immediately forget what she sang when the next person comes out. What did she sing last week? The week before? Do you recall? Did you download it? No? Well….ya kinda have to at least want to do that to be a pop artist beyond this show. And, like Colton, only for completely different reasons and at the total opposite end of the naturally gifted vocals spectrum…the end result is still the same. Even if she wins this, I don’t see her being a pop stah. Sorry, Beebs.

I know. Seriously. I need some pepping up. Sadly, HeeJun & DeAndre are gone. So… Hmm…where did I put the Oreos. Maybe a nice cookie buzz would help. It certainly can’t hurt.

Oh, right. Jessica still has to sing. And she does. There’s a little JHud vibe to this. Hmm….Well, that was interesting anyway! As close to being relevant and marketable as I’ve ever heard her. Maybe she’s been the biggest victim of the prior theme weeks of all then. Maybe if she’d done current stuff continuously, we’d have gotten a better feel for who she’d be on the radio. The crowd and judges go wild. Deserved. As always. Me? Five minutes later…I am in a heavy debate with myself. Twist and lick? Dunk and munch? Hmmm…..

Joshua is up with his weekly Copacabana Jacket. He’s turned 20 this week, so he’s a big boy now to go with that ridonkulous gospel huge voice. But…I won’t be a scratched record, just…See: Jessica. Colton. In his case, I would love to see him live, as it’s got to be incredibly wild and powerful, and he’s a very visual performer as well. In concert? I’d be dancing and having myself a real good time. But I don’t know that I want him screaming like that through my headphones. Know what I mean? This week he’s singing Bruno Mars and maybe we’ll get a bit of a revelation about him as we did about Jessica. Hope so. I like the guy…just have a hard time visualizing what the audio experience would be like with him, up close and iPod personal. My ears hurt a little, just thinking about it. Jimmy has concerns with him connecting to urban and pop worlds, and, see? Exactly. But they love the guy and his quiet, willing-to-learnness, as do I. And you know what? He kills this!! THIS I’d download. Tonight. Finally, something to get excited about. I hope it’s not too late for him to get the fans on his bandwagon, because that was marketable. Now, is it unique enough, vocally to stand out in a crowd? I think his passion makes it distinctive. In the way that James Brown was like that. You can’t fake that. You can’t learn that. So…hmmm… I put the Oreos down to watch and listen. So, there’s that! Is it something like the Zepplin and Lang performances, that I’ll remember next week, and the week after? I still don’t know that part. Maybe not. But it was a giant step in the right direction. (And the all girl brass section? Oh, I totally LOVED that!) Judges? Lose their collective minds. Standing O. And I’m way okay with that. Made me a believer.

Can I just say that, HELLO SHOW! When you let them sing stuff that makes sense? A really good show happens. Just sayin. Jot that down.

Colton & Sylar duet and I’ve just totally ignored all the romance rumors, because….I don’t see it. Your mileage may vary. They sing another country duet. Aldean/Clarkson. And…okay. Didn’t grip me. They weren’t exactly in harmony or something. I dunno. (Okay, so I made it 30 seconds and fast forwarded. I don’t even know what the judges said. Sue me.)

Hollie’s up. She’s singing Perfect by Pink. Akon explains that she hasn’t hit that girl-to-woman moment. Big voice, but not the experience to sell it in a way that’s charismatic and, well, sexy. If you know what I mean. Not sexual, but charming and gripping. By the throat, can’t-look-away. And I don’t know that she has that in her. It either comes naturally at her age, or it will come with accumulated experience. Or…it never will. I don’t know. But I doubt it’s going to happen in the next three weeks, which, for her, is not good news. She’s a cutie pie, and I love her. And it’s some kind of scientific impossibility that that huge voice comes out of that tiny body…. But, if it’s Colton v Phil. It’s Hollie v Jessica. Also young, but she has it naturally. Hollie’s gonna lose that battle. This year. And? She punches out the ballad as we know she can. Kicks ass on the last note. But, comparatively only, I don’t think this saved her. Judges? Yep, trying not to trash her, because it just feels mean now. They know, and we know, it’s about things she can’t fix. (I mean, when Steven says he didn’t love it and the crowd just goes silent and doesn’t even try to boo him, just out of underdog support, that’s bad, y’all. Awww. I hate that. But, I get it, too.) Her voice is great. She deserves heaps of praise for her crazy big vocal ability, but in this particular contest, she’s not the lead but the follower. (And who’d have thought that Papa Randy would come through and throw her a bone, because he clearly felt bad for her. Not me, but thank you all the same. She should have gotten that much.)

That said? Yeah, she can kiss that Judge’s Save good-bye. We just saw that confirmed.

Phil2 is up next with acoustic Maroon 5. I’m on board. Jimmy and Akon are on it, trying to work the performance to get the right result. Jimmy is right about Phil and Colton having the crowd love. And Jimmy is going to sign the winner of this shindig. And he wants it to be Phil. Clearly. We’ll see… The one great thing about Phil? He listens to Jimmy, and the mentors, and you know he respects them, and he’s absorbing what they say. But then he processes it…and applies it to what his gut tells him is the right way to go. He wants to win playing his music his way, singing like he sings. If that gets him the vote, more the better. But, if it doesn’t…well, then too bad, so sad, because he can’t change who he is. And THAT right there is what it’s all about. Much like I do writing books and dealing with my editor. Who I love and adore and trust like no other. But…end of the day, it’s my book, my work, my voice. I get it. I also get I can’t be anyone else’s voice, even if it’s more marketable, or what’s more “in” or whatever. For better for worse, bestseller lists or remainder bins, I’m me and that’s all I can aspire to be. So I aspire to be the best me out there. Took me the better part of 20 years in my industry to own that. Phil’s already most of the way there already. And for that, he has my very madd respect. And it’s why I not only want him to win this, but why he should win this. Just because I don’t always love his voice doesn’t mean I don’t get why he’s the one with the readymade career, there for the taking. Here we go…. So, Jimmy is right that it’s a little tame, and lacks some of his gut-soul licks, but given I like it when he eases up on the throat grinding throttle, I enjoy it. The song isn’t as catchy as it could be, though, and that’s the only thing it lacked for me. All that said…my opinion, it changes not at all. Winner. Judges? Go for it. Won’t matter. (And I promised I’d vote for him….and I did.)

Duet: Hollie & Joshua…and Jessica sing Kelly Clarkson. Starts off kind of low so they can punch up to the Stronger chorus. I didn’t care for the harmonies with Jessica, but Joshua and Hollie sounded okay. Aaaaand, yeah. I ff’d. Sorry.

Closing the show is…Elise. I know. They’re trying to save her. Please, America, don’t let them win. I don’t know what she’s wearing. It’s scary. She gets a Jason Siegal shout out….and…awkward! She..does not help herself in this exchange. They show this whole “how to vote for Elise” thing one of her friends did. And…she seems really underwhelmed by it all. Very phoning in the hometown enthusiasm. Whatever. We know I’m biased here. And not in a good way. Can she just sing now? Please? She wants to do Gaga. On the drums. (Am I the only one channeling DeAndre? “Oh, Lord have mercy.”) Jimmy and Akon basically gag on the drums idea. She says she feels like something has to happen. Akon sums it up. “What needs to happen is you need to kill it.” Does she have another Zepplin in her? I mean, she can pick ANYTHING current this week. But, I’m not feeling it going her way. Akon appears to be as enthusiastic about the chances of that as I do. And, here we go…at the piano she tries to Elise up Gaga, but…yeah. No. It just got shouty and screamy at the end. And not in a good way. Bottom 3? I think so. Judges? Loved it. Really? That was not a moment, Randy. Really??

So, Hollie and Elise are going to be Bottom 2. Who makes it three? I don’t know. Shouldn’t be Skylar this time. But with Joshua, Phil, Colton and Jessica as the only other options? Could be. I think Joshua would be the only risk, only because he’s been there before. Ultimately? Could go either way, her or Hollie. I think Hollie this week, tho.

What say you, Blog Babes? Don’t forget to enter this week’s Free Stuff Friday contest, win a book. See end of Monday’s blog post for entry details. Then get back on over here and DISH! Who goes? Who wins it all?

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Again, we kick it off with KISS…and they never get old for me. They sounded great. And, hey! The show listened to me a little, Mark and Chelsie were part of the troupe dancing to the rockin’ opener. It’s a start. I bet it was awesome in the house. Would love to have been there.

And we’re LIIIIIIIIVE once again…and, once again, I blog as I watch…. Yes. Anything might happen.

I really enjoy listening to the behind the stage things they say to each other, and during the dance. It really shows the teamwork and chemistry each team shares this season. They show Melissa banging her head during the spine on Maks, which - ouch! But when she feels dizzy backstage and they decide to err on the side of caution and send her to to the ER for possible concussion (which it turns out, she did have) my love for Gavin grew three times its normal size (which, we know, is already pretty damn big) because he didn’t hesitate, he just scooped Melissa up and carried her down all those flights of stairs out to the ambulance. Now that’s my kinda guy! Man, I hope he doesn’t go out this week. I don’t want Gladys to leave, either, but this week…Gavin should stay.

So, per doctors orders, Melissa is taking it easy and not on the show tonight. Maks and his very gorgeous bare chest, turns out, also hurt his arm, but he shrugs it off. He thanks Gavin for the assist with his partner (Maks was also comforting her backstage, but Gavin happened to be next to her when they needed to carry her down from the balcony to the backstage area off the stage.) Maks, his gorgeous chest, & Melissa get the word they are safe.

But…what about Gavin and Karina? Suspense…..and YES!! Safe! He’s not even in the bottom this week. You know, sometimes the world gets things right. And this was super right.

He’s so sincerely surprised and thrilled, it made me a bit verklempt, yes indeed it did. He keeps saying “this is the best week ever!” and he’s so pumped. Seriously, I love this guy to bits. Whew! I can relax now. Thank you show for getting that out of the way up front.

Of course, as soon as that sinks in…I wonder….oh no! So who IS going to be in the bottom this week?? Ruh roh. Tom informs us that this isn’t the only surprise of the night! As Gavin was the only remaining contestant who has been in the bottom 2 before…it will be all new faces. And Tom thinks we’re gonna be surprised! Well…beyond Gladys, I can’t even begin to guess. Jack was really a surprise last week…so who knows! Sherri? Tom gets more foreboding by saying it could be the shock of the season! (And we’re only in Week 4!!) Ruh roh again… is it William?? Gosh, I hope not! Would be too cruel to giveth Gavin and taketh away William.

I’m actually excited to see the performance tonight by the new Vegas Dancing With the Stars show cast, with some of our old celeb faves, along with the Karina and hot ballet guy. At first I was thinking two hour results were just too much, but I’m getting more okay with it by the minute!

We get an encore tonight and it goes to Donald and Peta - well earned. While they dance, I’m thinking about how crazy close this season is…then I remember that next week, we get the dance off! Seriously, best season ever.

Next, we have Glady/Tristan, Derek/Maria, and Kym/Jaleel. When asked how he’s going to break out of the middle of the pack, Jaleel deadpans “Nudity.” Brooke can’t handle spontaneous humor, so she sends it back to Tom. We show us dance floor snippets of Maria/Derek’s performance last night and you can see there, at the end, how much pain Maria is in. She’s clinging to Derek and that smile is more frozen grimace. I honestly don’t know how she even did that. Then, hilarity! as we see Gladys asking Gene Simmons “well, how long is it?” (Referring to his tongue, people. And yet…still kinda raunchy! And funny!) I’m going to hate it if she goes, too. Can we just keep them all and have like exhibition dances each week? And dang! Little Richard was in the house last night, too! Watching Gladys. That’s crazy! (I think he was in a wheelchair…so must not be doing well, but he was dressed up in Little Richard style!) I also finally figured out the Rita Wilson/John Stamos/Nia Vardalos triumvirate. They’re the “Greek contingent” there to route on fellow Greek, Maria. DUH. And Jaleel? post performance last night? Funnier!

Who is safe? Maria and Derek! Woot! Jaleel/Kym are announced safe and they just stand there, looking all smooth and cool about it and I’m like, well a little excitement wouldn’t hurt… until they realized it was their names called safe (apparently they can’t hear the announcements) then it’s all joy and happiness. So…that leaves…Gladys/Tristan to be in the Bottom Two. Only WHAT? They’re safe, too!!! In the words of DeAndre, “Oh Lord have mercy.” Wow. Gladys is so stunned and absolutely thrilled, you knew she was afraid she was the one, to

So….who in the hell is in the Bottom 2? That means not one, but two of the five remaining teams could leave. Dang!! We’ve got Roshon, Donald, Katherine, William, and Sherri. Roshon and Sherri, maybe? Wow, Tom wasn’t kidding!

Before we find out…it’s time for some entertainment! The show has apparently challenged their pros to bring them projects they’re passionate about, and first up is Karina and the new project she’s launched with prime ballet star Jose Manuel Carreno. They’ve started the Passion Project foundation together, to help kids through dance, and are purposely melding ballroom and ballet as a way to cross all boundaries. Now they’re up, with music performed live by Gotan Project...we get their Argentine tango. Rawr! From the rehearsal clips alone, I know I’m ready to watch. Pass me my fan, will you? And? That was nice! Loved the music! That’s what we need for tango week!

More results! For the two top scorers - Donald and Roshon. One of the kind of cool things I noticed about this week is that the KISS guys are totally hanging out with the teams the whole time. They’re completely into this, tracking it all. I love that! You never see the entertainment talent hanging out like that, in the hallways, everywhere. And of course, being in full makeup and costume just makes it more amusing. Tom tells us one team is safe, one in the Bottom 2. Crazy!

Peta looks crushed already. And pissed. Whereas the kids look professional and happy. Donald and Peta are safe, so she cracks the happy smile. Donald drops to the floor in a fake faint. That means, yes, Chelsie/Roshon are in the Bottom 2. I’d predicted him maybe landing in the bottom before this week, due to his lack of fan base, but lack of fan base hasn’t hurt William or Katherine (yet) and he was surviving, too. And on a good scoring week when they went next to last, it is more surprising this week than it would have been in the previous two.

Yay! Now we get the preview of the new DWTS Vegas show and guess who’s hosting? Carson Kressley! LOVE! And squee!! More adore from me. Some of the stars in the show are Joey Fatone, Tia Carrare, Sabrina Bryant, Kyle Massey. AND? Carson is dancing, too! Lacey is one of the pros I noticed, but… who else? Ooooh, Dmitry! And wait, one of the pros is the ballroom dancer from So You Think You Can Dance who dances with Pasha. What is her name? I love her. And is Pasha dancing, too? Dang, I might have to book a trip to Vegas! They’re dancing to one of my favorite ballroom beats, Hip Hip, Chin Chin. I’ve had that on my iPod since they used it on SYTYCD years ago. The Vegas showgirl revue in the beginning is cool, but I’m waiting for them to pop out the stars…and oh, they do! Look at Kyle go! Shaking his groove thang! And is that Sabrina as his partner? Yes! They look amazing! Wow, it’s all such a flurry. So much energy, loving it!!

Wanna go? Here’s the link with all the info! DWTS Tropicana

Now for Sherri, William and Katherine results. My guess is Sherri. Safe first is…Katherine & Mark. Man, they have to find a way so they can hear the results on stage. They weren’t sure if their names were called for bottom or safe, either. But there is massive, whooping relief for both when they realize it was safe.

Tom is right, there hasn’t been a results show this tense in a very long time. And we’re only at Top 10! Only 2 teams have gone home and it’s already like this. Crazy!

So? Am I right, is it Roshon and Sherri? Because, it would be too cruel to take William and his very fine backside away before Latin Week. Come ON. Let him shake his bon bons, then we’ll talk! And, the other safe team is? William and Cheryl! YES! Well, speaking totally for myself, this week ain’t going bad for me at ALL!

So, that means, indeed, the Bottom 2 is Sherri and Roshon. (Hey, I only picked them from half the teams, but I did pick em!) Still…I really have no idea who is going. Roshon has the smaller fan base, but he’s pretty charming. Still…I think it’s him. Sherri is already sad and tearful, she wants it so badly. Roshon is hamming, but that’s how he rolls. And? He’s a kid. So, I find myself hoping Sherri stays in it.

Going home? Alas…it’s Sherri. Awww. She gives a motivational, totally class exit. Awww some more. I’m going to have to watch Kimmel now.

So….if this is what we have to look forward to for the next few months….wow! And yikes! Can you imagine what’s going to happen next week when the Bottom 2 Dance Off and the judges decide? Cah-razyness!!

Sign me up! Finally, results shows that are just as exciting s the performance shows!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s Free Stuff Friday Contest! Winner gets ANY book from my website bookshelf. To enter, check end of Monday’s blog for details. Winner announced in Friday’s blog post!

Then, come back over here and DISH! What did you think about tonight? Were you surprised? Or are there no real surprises this year, given how close they all are? Who is your fave? Who goes home next week?

Tags: Writing by Donna
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It’s Rock Week on Dancing With the Stars and we’re LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

We open with a stellar performance by KISS. And you know what’s great about them? I grew up with them, and so I’ve watched other rockers age as they still perform (Bowie, Mick, Aerosmith, Rod Stewart, Bon Jovi, Sting, etc) and the big advantage KISS has is that, with all that make up on? Yeah, they look exactly the same! They never age! Why didn’t we think of that?? Then I thought…man, after all these years, how tired are they of sitting through those make up sessions? Still, Gene Simmons? Owns it.

Now, it can’t go without mentioning, given this is a recap and all…but the troupe dancers for the opening number? Yeah. Bad. Like….totally negated all the rocker street cred going on up on stage with some sort of gender role reversal outfits on that didn’t flatter anybody, and just….Show, can we pleeeeeeease get rid of the troupe? Let the pros who’ve been voted off come back and get the work and the paycheck, or the ones not on the current season. They’re the ones we want to see. I kept looking for Lacey and Anna during that routine. Sorely lacking. Also? While we’re on the costuming…Brooke, Brooke, Brooke… You hosted Rock Star , for goodness sake, and you always looked great. This is way more Bride of Frankenstein Meets Rocky Horror. So much to work with…how do they screw that up?

On the other hand, the costumes coming down the stairs as our teams enter get me a little excited. Well, okay, okay, initially, because there seemed to be a lot of flesh going on with the guys, so naturally I was holding out hope that if they felt the need to get that naked, then William must be coming out in a loin cloth or something. Alas…no. (Although there was leather!) BUT! I was excited anyway, because from the flavor of the costumes, looks like we’re FINALLY getting to my favorite dances….oh yeah….the Tango and Paso!!! Woot! And on rock week…maybe the music will fit the mood. Especially for the paso. Of course, according to Tom, we’re also getting jive, and I can see that working…unfortunately for some, it’s Viennese Waltz and….yeah. Wow. So sorry for you. And for us. I…well, I’ll just send up a prayer now that Stoner Music Dude took a break this week and somoene else chose the music. But why aren’t they all doing paso or tango? Weird.

Alright, so on with the show!

Going first is Sherri and Val, dancing tango to Quiet Riot. Sherri’s looking good and they do the cute mad in rehearsal, but their chemistry is clearly genuine and good. Val is clearly taking on the Chmerkovskiy Skin Show this week, and the Leather/Latex Show as well, for which I am not complaining. But that’s mostly because it’s a needed distraction from their tango, which, sadly, isn’t as fab as I’d hoped. The choreo is a bit clunky for Sherri’s shortness and there isn’t enough of that staccato/sharp movement in her head turns and footwork. She kind of walk/kicked through it. I wish it wasn’t so! Judges? Len was far kinder than I anticipated. Bruno agrees with my sharp kick comment, but it’s Carrie Anne who nails it: she was expressionless and didn’t channel her exuberance into the fierce passion we needed for it to work. So true! Scores: 21 And, based on scoring this season, that’s par. I appreciated that she didn’t take the “working two jobs” cop out Brooke offered her.

Mark & Katherine do the paso next. As we go to the commercial break, Katherine (who is all in black Catwoman gear, look out!) is dancing with KISS guitarist as we see Mark tied up in the back. HA! Oh, were it only so. Back in rehearsals, turning cute, tiny Katherine into the Welsh Warrior needed for her to do paso is….challenging. And yet, she’s still adorably cute at it. Seriously, it should be so easy to hate her, and yet, I want her as my bestie. Don’t you? And? Oh yeah, they bring it to the dance floor (in spite of a very namby pamby version of their song being sung.) I think she has such a feel for theatrics, whether subdued or over the top, because she understands the nuances from singing opera…because she partners Mark’s over-the-top stuff really well and manages to keep all eyes on her. She’s so Catwoman hot, it does makes me wish she had a more manly man partnering her for the paso than Mark (I mean, come on, she’s in killer queen black spandex bodysuit, cape coat, and spike heels….and he’s in emo jeans and….sneakers. No, seriously.) But he does put together some really strong choreo and she does a good job with it, though it was a little frantic. All in all for the first paso of the season, I’m happy! Judges? Agree with me…good, but not all there. Scores:24 Fair on the current scale.

Next up? Jaleel & Kym do the tango to Mick Jagger…and, sadly, Jaleel has had no exposure to the rock legend. Of course, to listen to him tell it, he grew up on soul and R&B, so perhaps it would have been moot regardless. Kym coaxes him along and…I don’t know what it is, but I don’t know if Jaleel is as genuinely cool and smooth as I thought he was in the initial weeks. (Yes, yes, I read all about his apparent blow up with Kym during rehearsals before last week’s show, where other pros had to intervene, but both have said it was blown out of proportion, and from rehearsal footage, they seem to do just fine with each other.) And yet…whereas it surprised me to read about him having any kind of meltdown before…now I get a different vibe. It started last week with all his talk of his tv characters and such. A hint of narcissism or something… Just me? Okay. He still gets the benefit of the doubt, but…my eye’s on you, Urkel! He does make me laugh when he compares Jagger’s infamous swagger to that of George Jefferson…and he’s SO right! OMG - HA! Makes me want someone to do a film mashup, you know? I love their outfits and Jaleel’s entrance to the floor is cute, with the Jagger Swagger. It’s not the most impressive tango, but they do a really good, entertaining job of it. It’s cheeky more than sexy. He does great on those high kicks, wow! Judges? Agreed. Scores: 22 I think they should have gotten 23-24, comparatively.

Melissa & Maks dance the paso. Maks does some of the best paso choreo, so hopefully he can get Melissa with it this week. You know, all of the partnerships are having a harder time this week, with the pros pushing hard as the competition is so tight this season, and yet, no real drama or angst. Mostly I just see people working really hard, even through the frustration, and it seems to me, they all genuinely like each other. SO nice for a change! Okay, so here we go, and? Love Mak’s open front jacket, the styling of it…but the matador tights? Just…no. Should be trousers and then the whole thing would be hot. Melissa looked great, loved her dress. But she seems a step behind in this and always rushing to catch up. Maks put some really fast, really tricky choreography on her this week and maybe it was a bit too ambitious, because that’s only good if you can make it look good. She did well when it slowed down and she had to be the one in charge, but otherwise… Judges? Kinder than me. Bruno exactly echos me. Carrie Anne gets it right, too. (How is it that Len is being the Paula one tonight?) Scores:22 And, on par with the night.

Donald & Peta get the paso, dancing to Jimi Hendrix. Hopefully he nails this. He’s impressed so far. And that bare chest? Oh yeah, that’s impressive! Purple Haze is a great paso song, and it plays well to Peta’s over-dancing (she’s a lot like Mark in that) but Donald is a big, impressive guy, who partners like a man, not a mouse, so he makes it all work. I thought it was the most demonstrative, macho paso of the night, for sure. Not the cleanest, (and put the KISS tongue away, Donald!) but I really enjoyed it. By far the most energy. Judges loved it! Scores:27 Definitely earned.

Gladys & Tristan dance the tango. I adore her. I love her drive, I love her determination. She’s hilarious in practice, with her nasty rock stank face!! HA! I hope she kills it! (Her measuring Tristan’s KISS tongue, only to turn around to find Gene Simmons in full makeup providing his for the measuring tape, also hilarious.)

And then? Holy crap, who in the hell thought this was a good idea? Aww, come on SHOW! Bohemian Rhapsody? Really? As a results night bit of humor, having Tom’s face, and the three judges faces in black silhouette, a la Queen, and singing the song (horribly) would have been hilarious. But these guys are competing here! Wow, that was just atrocious. And yikes, yikes, yikes, every bit as horrifying a song to dance to as expected. The all over the place staccato beat of the song doesn’t work at all with this dance (and doubtful with any dance.) It’s not really a song, in that regard. Just…BOO! Poor Gladys. And poor Tristan for having to try and make up any decent choreo to that. I don’t even want to hear the judges. agreed the song sucked and so she gets pained love. Like…not her fault, show. Len tries hard to be kind (is he on something tonight? I like it!) as do Bruno and Carrie Anne, but given she’s already a low scorer, this just seemed unfair all around. Scores:20 Which was generous, but fair to give her a bit of an edge, given the bad music.

You know, for a week featuring strong music and my favorite dances, it hasn’t been as great as I’d hoped (too soon in the season, perhaps?) but, yet, it’s been a very enjoyable show to watch!

Okay, so next up are William & Cheryl, woo hoo hoo, folks! But….hold up, what?? Okay, ’splain this to me. All night it’s been Paso & Tango…but instead of getting to watch William the Conquerer dance like ze bull…he gets…the jive? Wha? Whose idea what that?? And to….Twisted Sister? What? The whole choreo/hair thing was funny, but I was incredibly thankful we’d already seen him and Cheryl on the floor and he was clearly NOT wearing that for the performance. It takes a lot to make that man look ugly, but they pulled it off. But damn, he looked good with those kicks in practice. Let’s hope he brings that to the dance floor. And? Oh yeah. That fine looking man can dance, can’t he? It’s like the gift that just keeps on giving. Sorry. No typing. Watching. And sipping. And fanning. WOW. That was SO fast and he was ON it! Dayum. Best of the night…..eh, right up until they screwed up big time on the swing around the legs thing - awwww! A shame, because, for me, there were 10’s coming before that! Still, it was the most skilled dance any of the celebs have done tonight, screw up and all. Cheryl is a lucky, lucky girl. I can almost forgive them for not letting me see him paso…almost. Judges? Okay, now, seriously, Len? NOW you get sh*tty? Really? They killed it, doing the fastest dance, hardest choreo, with the most content of the night, and except for that one part - which, granted, was an absolute total screw up - they were all over it….and Len’s got nothing nice to say? I guess they need to bring down the guy to keep the scores even - though the screw up would do that anyway. Still….dude. Bruno and Carrie Anne can’t find anything nice to say, either, other than the crowd likes him. Well…duh. But I thought that was a really ambitious dance and no love for tackling it and doing (mostly) really well. I mean, compared to the others? Who all got tongue baths? Come on! Scores? 22 Surprising, given the thrashing they gave him, but I’m relieved they gave him that much. Still…I’m annoyed.

Roshon is up, dancing Viennese Waltz with Chelsea. (I’m not getting dance selection at all this week - and why are there any waltzs for Rock Week?) Chelsea is right that he has really long, gangly limbs, so looking stiff and formal in hold with this dance is really tricky for him, even when he’s kind of getting it, his arms are so much longer than hers he has to curve them in to keep hand in hand. There are a few other wobbles, too, but otherwise, the dance has a really lovely, charming quality to it, and it’s a nice respite from all the head banging. I’m glad they didn’t try and make them waltz to Aerosmith or something. Naturally they don’t nail them on the wobbles. Judges: Total tongue bath. And I’m glad for Roshon, I am. He’s a sweet kid, and it was cute getting Len to say the words Roshon has clearly worked hard for “good job, dawg” HA! But Carrie Anne? Best male dancer of the bunch? Mmmm. I don’t know. I think Donald, Jaleel, and William all have skills Roshon doesn’t have, and vice versa, so balances in the end. But, whatever. Maybe the judges just really resent how crazy the ballroom goes for William so had to knock him down. Still, they’ve found something nice to say about every single dancer…except him. And he’s a sincerely nice guy. Just seemed off to me. So, it bugs. Still. Scores:26

Next to last, it’s Maria & Derek. And, poor thing. First she has cracked ribs, now stress fractures in her feet. She definitely wins the Wounded Warrior award, and then some. Because girl don’t complain, she just gets on it. And that’s impressive. Derek is super supportive and that’s sweet to see, too. I finally figured out who she reminds me of in her get up tonight - Grace, from Will & Grace. Ha! (Well, for the first five second, and rrrrrowr! Wow! Sexy Maria!) They get tango to Alice Cooper’s School’s Out. Derek is such a superb choreographer that he makes it a great song for this dance, which, in the hands of someone else, with the tempo changes, might not have been the case. You know, I had lost affection for him and he and Mark were being so super competitive for those few seasons, so it’s good to have him back to the Likable Derek. Really well done. Best of the night and glitch free! How she did that with busted feet and ribs, I have no idea. (Hello Rita Wilson, John Stamos, and Nia Vardalos in the audience!) Judges? Love. Well earned. The piggy back during judges comments was a little awkward looking, I have to say….lol…but seriously, she’s a warrior. (Was that David Hasselhoff behind Tom just now?) Scores:26 Should have been a 27-28.

Serious, it’s celebs in the audience week. Hey, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

And, last up, our sweet adorkable Gavin with Karina, and they get tango. Dancing to the Stone’s Painted Black, here we go. I love his outfit - a lot! And the make up, all of it. And, you know what? For Gavin, who really struggles with any dance moves, he did a really good job! I was suitably impressed. And he’s so damn endearing. Judges: Kindness along with decent critiques. (Where was that for William?) HA, loved his banter with Brooke. (B: Did you do enough to get out of the Bottom 2? G: Absolutely not.) Seriously, I love this guy. Scores:23 Wow, generous! But I can’t complain, because he’s a darling.

Not the strongest week, score wise, but a fun night all the same! Still loving everyone! Ooh, Tom lets us know that Melissa hurt herself and has gone off to the emergency room. Crazy night! Hope she’s okay. I couldn’t help but think it’s going to be really tough for anyone else who gets hurt as they kind of have to live up to the superwoman Maria or feel like a wimp! (Edited to add: turns out she got a mild concussion during her dance, her head hit the floor, but she’ll be okay!)

Final tally:
27 Donald/Peta
26 Roshon/Chelsie
26 Maria/Derek
24 Katherine/Mark
23 Gavin/Karina
22 Jaleel/Kym
22 Melissa/Maks
22 William/Cheryl
21 Sherri/Val
20 Gladys/Tristan

Bottom Three: well, it’s doubtful it will play out as the tally board shows. But Gladys, probably. And, much as I love the guy, Gavin, probably, too. Who joins them? Anyone’s guess. And, since they don’t always make the last “team in jeopardy” the actual bottom 3 vote getter, we might never know. I’m thinking Gavin gets one more week and it’s Gladys’ turn this week. We’ll see tonight!

Next week? Mmmmm, Latin Week. With live music by Santana! And, we get the Dance Off starting next results show. Oooooh, can’t wait!

And tonight? Not one, but TWO brand new NCIS’s to enjoy. New Gibbs and New Callen! I’m in!! Be sure to check my Facebook Fan Page later this afternoon to see the which photo we add to Mark Harmon’s own personal album this week! (Yes, he has his own album, because…duh!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s Free Stuff Friday contest! See Monday’s blog post for all the details. Then come back on over here and DISH!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Last night’s Amazing Race episode featured some of the most stunning landscapes ever…and some of the worst racer attitudes ever. Wow. If you just watched the episode with the sound turned off, it might have enjoyable, as the scenery alone as stellar. Unfortunately, I had the sound on. Out of the six remaining teams, the only ones who I still liked, ten minutes in, were Team Country Boys. I felt like I needed to take a shower or something, and wash the ugly off from all the bickering, name calling, smugness, and arrogance. Yikes, show.

A damn shame, too, because it might otherwise have been the most awesome episode ever. From the amazing plane right over the East African countryside, the Ngorongoro Crater, the water, the flocks of flamingos…I’d love love love to have that opportunity! Then? Masai warriors!

Sigh. I wannnna goooo!

Mercifully, the teams left their high school crap back at the airport heading out of Azerbaijan, so things improved… And, once out in the Tanzanian countryside, doing tasks on the course (white men can jump!), everyone thought it was just as cool as I knew it would be! Seriously, that is so way up there on my Bucket List.

Everything stayed great…until we hit the campsite. Then it was time to turn off the sound again as everyone built their tents. Rachel? Dave? Yikes. Sure, Dave is an ass, but Rachel, wow. Passive aggressive much? I know she’s tired of his macho, strong arm crap, I am, too, and I’m not married to the guy! But I was equally tired of her sanctimonious condescension. They deserve each other. I wanted them both off my tv. And, while I can understand how it gets ugly, from the tension, stress, etc of the day? As a viewer…it’s not entertaining to watch. All the joy of the countryside part…sort of evaporated in a slow, painful death.

Some teams (Team Border Patrol, Team Country Boys) rallied. Eventually. Others (Team Kindergarten Cops) really struggled. And some (Team Big Brother, Team Bickering Daters, Team Please For the Love of God, Just Divorce Already Dave/Rachel) stay exasperating, no matter what.

Eventually, and in the most annoying finish ever, Rachel/Dave hit the Amazing Bathmat first (Phil, rocking the denim = highlight!) So we not only get to listen to them bicker, we now get to hear them be all smug, too. Wow. And augh. The only gratifying part? Arrogant Team Border Patrol not coming in first. Or second. Heh. (Hey, this episode, I have to take my team joy where I can find it. Sparse, as it was.)

Sadly,Team Kindergarten Cops comes in last. Not having male strength on their team did hinder them in the tent building, but major props to them for sticking with the task to the bitter end, seeing it through with class and even humor, which had to be a challenge at that point. I absolutely loved that they stopped to watch the elephants, knowing they were about to be eliminated, and soaked up every single second they had left, grateful for the opportunities the race had provided them. And though they were never huge favorites and the whole teacher subterfuge was pretty much a non-starter given their constant back-of-the-pack finishes, I will seriously miss their kindness and easy going spirit. Especially given the company they leave behind for us to endure going forward.

But then….THEN!!…the whole entire show turned around for me when Phil gave them the good news. No elimination for them! You know, for the first time, I think ever, the non-elim legs this season have saved teams I really wanted to see stay in the race. So…good elephant watching karma for them!

At this point, going forward, it’s Team Country Boys and Team Kindergarten Cops all the way for me. I don’t think Team KC has a real chance to pull it out against their competition, but Team CB sure does! So…I’ll just focus on that. And Phil in his very fine jeans. Oh, and how he called out some of the teams when they hit the Amazing Bathmat on being ugly to each other. Go Papa Phil! (And Vanessa? Everyone else was contrite about their behavior, after Phil’s “little chat,” agreeing it wasn’t necessary and they would avoid a repeat of such in the future,…except for you. I’m not a fan of the incredibly dramatic and overly emotional Big Bro Rachel, but you’re a whole different kind of nasty to me.)

But hey…how gorgeous was that countryside? Ahhhh. Yes, let’s just focus once again on that…

Until next week…when we get? The Double U Turn. Yay. That should bond the teams more closely together.

Not.

Sigh.

Okay, recapping over! Contest time starts now! Yes, yes, yes! The Free Stuff Friday contest is back! To enter to win a free book from my website bookshelf, just send an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “Let’s Focus on Me Winning This!” in the subject line. I’ll draw a name from the stack on Friday and announce it here in the blog! (Don’t forget to check back in here to see if you won!)

Tonight? Dancing With The Stars…the one current reality show still getting my love and affection. Let’s hope tonight keeps the love going. It’s Rock n Roll Week and my hopes? They are high. Bringin’ it to the dance floor!

What say you Blog Babes? Wanna go with me to Tanzania? Wasn’t it gorgeous? I want to see elephants! Which horrid Amazing Race team do you need to see leave your tv screen first? Which team would make the most satisfying winner? Hurry, go enter this week’s contest, then come back here and DISH!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Wow, for as much I enjoyed the Dancing With The Stars results show this week? Is how much I absolutely found nothing enjoy about tonight’s American Idol boot off. And it’s not because I was surprised by who went home. In fact, my predicted Bottom 3 was….pretty much exactly how it played out. Perhaps a different person went home than I’d hoped, but, it wasn’t shocking. Just disappointing.

On the good side? Everyone can stop blaming the texting tweenyboppers for keeping the cute dudes in. We officially have more girls left than guys now. And? Yeah, that was pretty much the beginning and end of the good news.

On the bad side? All the reasons I’ve been loving the New & Improved, Upbeat Idol utterly vacated the building tonight. And if I felt a little beaten up by the time it was over, I can’t imagine how the contestants feel.

The judges were cranky because saves weren’t being used or wanted to be used but there was no consensus. (Only two more weeks you can use it, guys. Just sayin…) Jimmy went from wise industry mogul dishing out blunt critiques to climbing on the bus and just flat out rolling it hard over a few of the contestants. Gosh, I hope those tire tracks all over Hollie don’t show up on next week’s show… And Jimmy? Don’t trash these kids on national television then chortle in the audience while they stand up there and take it. (I so wanted to end that sentence with a certain adjective…)

So, yeah. The talent portions were okay, though I just wanted it to be over, so admit I ff’d through most of them. (Kellie? So proud you’ve carved a good career out of this gig, but girl? Eat a sammich.) As to the rest? Pretty much a total downer, starting off on poor Joshua’s mystery illness which Ryan weirdly wouldn’t let go of (because there’s no real media hype happening for the kids and interest is waning this season so let’s make some drama!) To the harsh critiques on both contestants and judges, to just simply wanting it to please, please be over.

Hopefully we’ll find the joy again next week. I can’t say I’m as optimistic about that eventuality as I might have been before tonight. I don’t know what the theme is next week, so let’s just have faith that the kids have a chance in hell of doing something meaningful to their future singing career.

Oh…right. Bottom 3? Elise, Hollie, and DeAndre. Bottom 2? Well, we hop skipped and jumped to DeAndre and Elise. (When did they send Hollie back? What?) Singing happily and proudly for his 17 yr old life? DeAndre. Pissed off? Jennifer. Leaving with upbeat class and dignity? DeAndre again. All around prince of a jerk? Jimmy. Rolled hardest under the Bus of Jimmy Driven Doom? Hollie. (And to a lesser but still tire track leavin’ degree? DeAndre, and Colton, and Phillip and Elise and…) Guy who can’t admit when he’s wrong and blames the singer, the judges and everyone but himself? Jimmy.

Most Awkward? Watching kids forced to defend themselves on national television against an industry titan as he sits, smiling smugly in the audience. Alongside their families. Suddenly the Man to Beat? Joshua. (Not according to me. Or, quite possibly the voters… But if you downed a shot after every time Jimmy started talking about Joshua? You’d have passed out before the final whistle blew. That’s all I’m sayin.)

Mostly? I’m just glad that’s over.

On a far, far brighter, funnier, and much sunnier note…was the joy found in tonight’s episode of Big Bang Theory? I was really thrilled that Stephen Hawking was game to do the cameo. (And, is it just me, or is Jim Parson’s getting kind of beefy hunky about the shoulders and biceps?) I’m going to block out that first hour and just bask in the glow of the laughter from thirty minutes of golden comedy goodness.

Note to self: Always watch Idol results first. Big Bang Theory second.

Your turn Blog Babes? Still feeling sunny about our little singing competition? If so, please spread some of that sunshine my way! DISH!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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After the fun and frivolity that was Dancing With the Stars this week, American Idol takes a little dip on the fun-o-meter. For some reason I can’t fathom, we’re celebrating the music of the 80’s. An era where, if the contestants were even alive then, they’d have been too young to remember any of it.

I was alive then…and I resent Idol for making me remember far too much of it! At least we got Gwen Stefani and her No Doubt bassist, Tony, as our mentors this week to take the edge off the pain.

Okay, so, while it might not have been my favorite week overall, I will say that some artists hit some great notes.

The first one being DeAndre. Yes. DeAndre. And no, all those notes he hit weren’t in falsetto. For a change. He chose a song by DeBarge, took Gwen’s mentoring notes to heart, and had the most enjoyable, sincerely comfortable times on stage he’s had all season. If the screams of the girls in the audience are any indication, even going first won’t be sending him home this week. But…you never know. Judges give him mad props.

Then Elise comes out and sings Foreigner and reminds me of all the reasons why I only liked her last week. Really not her moment. Which, conversely, will help DeAndre. And I’m sorry, go ahead and judge, but while Elise is a rough-throated rocker and I get she has skills…I just don’t care for her. Sorry. I’d download and listen to DeAndre croon and it would be enjoyable, whereas there’s nothing of Elise’s music that’s original or interesting enough for me to want to hear coming from my stereo speakers. Judges agree this week was a miss for her.

We find out that, in addition to singing solo this week,the Top 8 are also being paired up into the boy/girl duets. The first features Skylar and a newly bleached Colton (not doing it for me, the blonde look) singing Islands in the Stream. And…yeah. That was painful, y’all. They did okay on the harmony, but it felt like such an awkward fit to me. Skylar alone could have done something with it, but otherwise, not a good idea. (What was a good idea? Whoever decided to put Skylar in that dress instead of the dreadful pant/blouse/floaty stuff they’ve been putting her into the past few weeks. Super flattering - she looked great!) Judges? A whole heckuva lot more pleasant about it than I was. Maybe it sounded better in person?

Yeah, this is not a stellar week. Neither was Billy Joel week, if you recall. (and this one is starting off even worse than that one.) The great week? When they got to pick their own music, songs from artists who had inspired them. Aka something relevant to today’s music. Please, Idol, I beg of you….let them sing current stuff and toss the stupid theme crap ideas out the window.

So…next up is PhilSquared. Now, I’m becoming more and more a PhilPhan each week. I have to admit, his take on that Jonny Lang song last week stuck in my head for days. DAYS. I downloaded Jonny’s version, but found myself wanting the Phil2 version. Unfortunately, the tracks on iTunes are more studio sounding than and it’s so smoothed out it loses all it’s juice for me. So…poo. Okay, so this week he’s singing That’s All by Genesis. It’s a weird fit for him. You’d think he’d roll it right out. But it’s a fast lyric and it kind of jams him up in the beginning. As he gets into it, he finds his way and pulls it off. But….overall? By far not his best. Not even close. I liked the idea of him stopping the guitar to sing some of the melody, as suggested by Tony, but instead of being sexy and intimate, as it easily could have been, it kind of showcased, for me, why he is often uncomfortable for me to watch. He has his odd kind of grimacing quirks when he sings, screwing his face up and looking like he’s almost in pain at times. When he tried to just straight sing, he didn’t connect with the camera, or the audience, he just went inside himself somewhere and got through it, then went back to the guitar and the grimace. Now I know one of the reasons I connected more last week was that smile he had throughout. He was clearly comfortable with the Lang song…and not nearly at all so much with this one. (Even with his bro-in-law playing on stage with him, which was pretty cool!) But the awkward fit still showed. All in all…I like listening to him more and more. Looking at him while he sings? Not so much. Again the judges were all over it….sigh.

Ryan scares me by telling me Hollie & DeAndre are up next for their duet. Not the pairing. Because that’s almost too stinkin’ cute. But…they’re singing the Pointer Sisters. Yeah, you heard me. I don’t even know which one, but…does it matter? In the words of DeAndre, “Oh dear Lord have mercy.” So, they’re singing I’m So Excited. And…kind of like before…they actually sing it just fine. Cuteness personified, both of them, but it’s so very Up With People, you know? It’s nice to see Hollie do something upbeat and pop, and they bring the energy…but is this really helping them? Or us? I think not. Judges? Diggin’ it.

The judges agree with me that the one who has brought it so far tonight? DeAndre, baby!

Joshua is bringing us If You Don’t Know Me By Now by Simply Red, an artist I really, really like. I find myself crossing fingers that Johsua finds a way to make this week work for him. It hasn’t been a particularly memorable night, so it’s a good chance for him to have a much needed “moment.” We’ll see. The mentors try to get him to dial it back a little, which would be a happy shift. Oooh, he gets a whole passel o’ back up singers. He certainly opens a lot cleaner and smoother than he has, not working so hard to overreach right off with his big voice. By the end, he is still over-emoting-guy, in general, but for him, this was a huge improvement over last week. Way more in control. However….though I do appreciate his skill set…these still aren’t songs I could download and enjoy in the car. They’re just too James-Brown-breaks-down-on-stage-ish for me. But, crazy talented, for sure. (And he’s just 19? I keep forgetting that!) The judges love him, and I’m sure, in person, it’s crazy huge to witness and feel. But, from a marketable standpoint? I’m just not sure. Gospel, for sure, but pop/rock/radio station stuff? Hmmm…..

Jessica is up next singing Whitney’s How Will I Know. Nice to see her go uptempo, too. Will be interesting to see how she pulls that off. Her voice is so huge, it’s hard for her not to overpower more simple pop lyrics like this. She’s not really “bouncy” - she’s more diva voice. But…hold up, what? So…last week she sang Beyonce, who happens to have this alter “Sasha Fierce” ego thing, which…whatever. I think Beyonce is fierce all by her own bad self. But now we’re hearing that Jessica has this alter ego she calls BB Chez? Um….what? However, with the huge tweenybopper girls out there voting for the cute guys? Yeah, the last thing you need to do is alienate yourself from any percentage of your audience with this self-serving ego trip. Or what certainly comes off that way. You’re not a supah-stah, yet, who can claim icon quirks. (And? The moniker doesn’t even seem to make sense? Where does that come from?) Next thing, she’ll start referring to herself in the third person. I know she’s only 16, so….cut will her some slack….but still. Now….the performance. She sings the guts out of it, and, I get it, she can’t do ballads every week, so she needs to mix it up…but….I don’t know. Why am I not liking this week? I listened, I thought to myself, “Wow, once again, great pipes.” Then the song is over and both she and the song are promptly forgotten. Whatever, you know? What can I say? She doesn’t move me. Judges? Gushy gushness of gush.

Phil2 duets with Elise (which may be the best pairing of the night) singing Nicks/Petty’s Stop Dragging My Heart Around. Definitely a good match up, and a good song for them, more when they sing together than apart. Together, it’s really hitting on all points. Phil still looks like he’s having a hard time connecting outward tonight. Maybe he’s suffering from kidney stones again, or the onset of something. He’s not loose and enjoying himself near as much as we’ve seen him before. He’s more kind of bound up, so his grimacing is more apparent…and his lack of direct connection to Elise even more so. But they do a good job on the song and I know the audience and judges will go wild. (And they do.) Will this help Elise? Well…it certainly can’t hurt!

Hollie’s turn…and she’s singing What a Feeling from Flashdance. I wouldn’t have thought this would be good, but after seeing her do the Pointer Sister’s earlier, I’m more enthusiastic. Cute dress on her. And it’s nice that the song opens all ballad-like, then kicks into gear. Should show her voice off - and her youth — really well, for a change. Except…not so much. She’s a little rushed on the lyrics in the opening, then, when it kicks into gear, she sounds really off. And what’s with no back up singers or anything to lend a little depth? I was really wanting her to do well, since I thought she did last week but the judges slammed her. She has her moments, but I don’t think this is going to be her redemption song. Which is a shame. Judges….agree with me. The great thing about her, is she’s so young, but she’s eminently likable, and sweet. Will it save her this week? Mmmm, not so sure.

Last duet is Jessica and Joshua. (Again, DeAndre’s caution echoes through my mind….) One thing is for certain….it will be loud. Song is Aretha/George Michael’s I Knew You Were Waiting. And…I was digging Joshua’s suit. Again, when they sang together, it was really good. The solos were a little overwrought and they didn’t seem to connect to each other personally, but they sang the daylights out of it, no doubt. I enjoyed it a great deal when they sang together. They did the dueling gut-sing at the end, and the judges got on their feet. I can well imagine that in person, that’s got to be crazy to hear. At home? I’m just going to move on along to the next performance…

Colton goes with…Cyndi Lauper. Okay. I’m just wanting the night to be over and it’s just…not. He sings Time After Time and, honestly, maybe they’ve just worn me down, but, along with DeAndre, it was the only other relevant sounding song all night. That’s not to say I loved it, (he did this nasal thing on the “time after time” chorus and mumbled the words, which bugged) but he did a great Colton job of it overall. Top 2 solo for me tonight. Judges loved. (Also? Extra love for Colton for giving kudos to the band he got his arrangement from for that song. Always appreciate when the artist gives the proper due.)

Skylar closes the show singing Wind Beneath My Wings, which was a change from her first choice of 9-5 And? Great choice!. She’s not my fave, but I do appreciate her and that she’s settled quite comfortably into her niche. I think she’s got all the potential in the world to blossom and smooth out the rough edges, become something special. She took a very big step in that direction tonight. It was a nice close to, what was for me, a really uneven and not particularly enjoyable night. Thank you for that! (And, hang on to whoever dressed you this week! She looked great here, too.) Judges Standing O. And, for maturity? Yeah, she earned it.

Okay. It’s over. Please, show, give us something good next week. This is me. Begging you. Don’t let me down.

Who goes home tonight? Honestly, I really don’t have a clue. Going through the clips at the end (I can’t call them highlights, sorry) I was kind of appalled at the clip they chose for DeAndre because it made the song unidentifiable…but then they segued into Elise, then Phillip and…they didn’t sound so good in their clips, either. That trend continued… (Whoever the Clip Editing Dude is? Needs work.)

So…Bottom 3: Well, De Andre did really well, but it was early in the night. Is he in danger? What about Joshua? Mebbe, but his duet might have helped keep him in the voter’s minds. Elise? Likely. In the end, though…I think Hollie is the one in real danger and very well might be heading out.

What say you Blog Babes? Who will go home? Who should go? DISH!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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