After a No Blog Tuesday, I’m back with some extra extra extra Dancing With the Stars MAC for ya!

First - clarification of the rules for this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. (See Monday’s blog post for original rules.) You can vote ONE time for each of the four shows mentioned in Monday’s blog post. If you’ve already cast your vote, you’re done! Yay you! Skip ahead to the MAC portion of today’s festivities.

If you haven’t voted yet, read on! You will only be able to vote for a show until that show airs. Obviously, once any of the listed programs have aired and we know the answer, voting for that show is no longer an option. Whatever shows remain unaired can still be voted on. so vote early while your chances of winning are greater! You only have to get one right out of all the shows to be eligible for Monday’s drawing.

And yes, you get double the chance this Thursday as, supposedly, two castaways are sent home. Don’t watch the shows? I listed the cast of each on Monday, so take a wild guess if you want. You gotta play to win.

Okay, now on to the Dance MAC!

At the top of the program, Our Tom announces that they have a taped interview with Sara they will be airing later in the program, where she discusses her departure from the program. But, otherwise, it seems it will be business as usual for the remaining 5 pairs, who will be performing two dances this week.

First up will be their individual dance, and each team does a different dance, then they will all take the floor together for a disco number. Should be…interesting.

Our couples come out all sequiny and shiny and very tan. Monique’s hair is much shorter….and so is her skirt. (Is that even legally called a skirt? Where are the skirt police? I want a ruling.) And are those…feathers sprouting from her rear end? What, last week a swan on crack, this week Flamingo On Parade?

Oooh, we get a live “how to” guide tonight. Could it be (please please please)…..Maksim is back for the demo session?? Please dance gods, pretty please? Would be a very smart move and a way to appease fans who weren’t too happy that Sara departed AFTER they were voted off. Come on, throw us a bone here! (Wait…that sounded all kinds of wrong when I read it back. I am so in the gutter when this man is in question.)

We find out that Tony, Sara’s partner, is also going to demo what would have been their dance, the tango. Good on ya, Tony! So here come the pros - dancing the jive, mambo, paso, rumba, samba, and tango, and…..YAY! Maks is out first, with Our Kym, dancing the jive. Woo hoo! And, you know, any man who is that big, and that fast on his feet, well you just know he’s got all kinds of natural balance….and natural, well, you know…rhythm. Just sayin. Not that I’ve given it a lot of thought or anything. (And who do you think he motioned to in the audience to join him? Hmmmmm? Speculating minds want to know.)

God, I feel so much better now. Where’s the ice cream?

Oh yeah, other pros dance and all, too.

And, yeah yeah yeah, I have to say My Louis(!!) is just so amazingly good dancing the mambo with Karina, who I just don’t like. It’s the Six Degrees of Mario thing, I can’t help it. But dang those two can dance. And you start to realize just how incredibly. slow. our. celebrities. dance. (I still say they need real dance music - it would help!)

Tony and Edyta do the paso, and YAY YAY YAY, a Maks Double Header (hey, I heard that! Mind outta the gutter. Besides, it’s too crowded with mine already there. ) He’s back with Kym for the rumba demo. Ahhhh. Can he do this every week until the show is over? Seriously. Louis and Karina do the samba — and my Maks Love notwithstanding, these two are head and shoulders above the rest, like little Pocket Pros. Just so tightly done. (Okay, I heard that, too. Honestly.) Which leaves Tony and E doing the tango….and a finale with all three couples. Sigh. ::waves!!!:: Bye, Maks!

Aaaaand, we cut to…Mario. ::stops waving:: And don’t you just want to smack that grin off his face? No, really. I do. And, oh yeah, we get a Special Moment with Mario and “old friend” Eva Longoria (who really needs more press. Except, not.) who meets up with Mario’s “new friend” Karina. Rowr. We’re supposed to believe Mario is really struggling with this Latin dance. Mr. Swivel? Ooookay.

And, we’re off…. dancing the mambo to actual appropriate music (and going first tonight, too! Hmm, the Dance of Death placement….we should be so lucky.) They are fine, of course. Mario makes a few mistakes in his spins, and you can tell he’s trying to look looser per Carrie Ann’s critique last week, but it makes him look sloppier to me. I liked the sharp moves better. All in all, they had some pretty interesting moves (although that last one? Uh….family show! Family show!) But they looked great, as expected. Nice way to open the show…and a hard act to follow. (Okay, enough with entendres already!)

Judges? Len says parts were as good as you can get, but they don’t focus well. Bruno loses his sh*t already - you gotta love him. No, you do. - and says Mario was burning her with those eyes and has a battery pack that…oh forget it. As much as it pains me to side with Uncle Lenny, Bruno, you’re wrong. Mario makes love to the camera more than anything else. He’s great at focusing on that…almost like it’s a mirror or something. Carrie Ann says he is close to pro level, so she is pickier, but loved it, too. Figures, they won’t the Low Scores of First Dance Death. Hate. Not that they deserve low scores for that, but still! Scores - 9,9,10 for 28

We find out tomorrow night’s guest is Lionel Richie which = Fun for me. As long as he does the up tempo stuff. Then Samantha…god, she sucks at the back stage stuff, doesn’t she? Just. Not. Natural. And Mario’s “we wish her nothing but the best…” when asked about Sara? I dunno. Not good to put him on the spot like that, as Spokesman For All, because it was just came off like an empty sounding platitude. A shame, when I’m sure they all really do feel for her.

Next, we get Monique and Louis! doing god only knows what in that little pink number that has Wardrobe Malfunction written all over what there is of it. Of course, as the only female now left in the competition, she has to do something risky…risque… whatever. And yes, those are tailfeathers….so this week it’s costuming by flamingo on swan crack. K.

They will be dancing a krumpin’ samba, so that will be interesting. And Monique gets a free style solo. Look out! (And why is she second? Are they trying to send her home next?) She opens with her mercifully brief solo, but looks like she’s having fun (if not exactly samba like) and then they begin (samba to the Jackson 5’s ABC? Are you kidding Stoned Music Guys? They’re all so high now I want to know who OD’d on that one.) But she really does come more out of her shell with this one and I think they did a pretty good job - especially as the woman is supposed to be the flamboyant one and the rest of the guys tonight all get to just partner their professional flamboyant ones. Good going, Mo.

Judges? Carrie Ann says she blew her away and appreciated the effort. Lenny picks on Louis all over the place for lack of classic samba (what, Lenny doesn’t know krump samba when he sees it? Come on.) He says all cheese, no burger. Like he eats them. And Bruno says he appreciates the wild child, but they lost the samba. Louis defends as all judging hell breaks loose and I fear for Mo this week. Scores - 9,7,7 for 23 So bitchy, boys.

Up now is Joey and Edyta who is down to wearing bra and panties now, with drapage. I guess next week, it will be a nude body stocking. Or just nude. Hard to call. Edyta, bless her heart, tries to explain to happily married Joey that he really has to bring it this week and act like they are lovers. Which makes them giggle and giggle like siblings. So she brings his wife to the rehearsals. Yeah. I know. But who knows, maybe it will help. So he writhes all over Edyta, then looks at his wife and goes “how’s that, honey?” And I’m completely weirded out, but she immediately gives the smackdown with “you can do alot better than that, babe.” Poor Joey. Let’s just totally rip his self esteem to shreds. Makes me love him this week. I’m officially rooting for him to Show Them.

Here we go…and uh….AGAIN he gets George Michael? And he has to pretend to SING the opening? And the guy really signing is TOTALLY GAY. I mean, so is George, but he doesn’t lisp the damn song. Why not just escort him to the exit door now, Music Dude? Mean. So mean. Thank god for Mostly Naked Edyta. Maybe she’ll distract us from this Musical Train Wreck of Cheesy Badness.

Okay, you know, turn off the music, and this? Is all kinds of hot. You go, Joemeister. Yow. A little too much posing by Edyta and not enough Yowza in the second half, but I think they did pretty well. Joey was actually way more connecting into Edyta and she was busy smiling at the audience. I’m disappointed in her - she’s the pro. He did his job better than she did hers.

Judges? Bruno says he likes a bit of dirty dancing but says Joey’s arm lines were a bit off. Carrie Ann says she hated the faux singing (right on CA) but liked the rest. Lenny says it was right on the money. Scores - 8, 8, 8 for 24

Emmitt and Cheryl are up next doing the jive. She brings in some Dallas cheerleaders to help his footwork and the look on his face when they go from a kickline with him to a drop split? Is priceless. Best. Moment. A little cheerleader respect right there, y’all. Okay, until the “goooo, Emmitt” wiggly boob ending there. Sigh.

And we’re off and dancing to music that is shockingly jive like. Whoa! Cheryl looks adorable (and skinnier - she’s losing weight just like her partner) in her little pink dress and Emmitt is dapper as ever. They come out movin’ y’all. Strong opening. No faux singing, crump dancing solo here, folks, nuh uh. Good choreo, Cheryl, playing to his strengths from note one. And I love that they stay true to the dance form, no hi jinks. It’s fun, it’s fast, and they look wonderful. Even when he gets off beat at the end, it’s still the best one so far for me. (Yes, Mario, even better than you.) Most entertaining by far anyway. Great ending. Love the plea to the judges. And the crowd goes wild.

Judges? Len mentions his slip, loves the piano player, and loved it. Bruno basically says what I said. Carrie Ann gives kudos. (I wish he hadn’t slipped up there at the end, because that stuck in their minds and it had been nuthin but pure fun energy before that. Still…loved it. He’s not going anywhere.) Scores - 8,8,9 for 25

Commercial: The new movie Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell and Emma Thompson (and Queen Latifah, Dustin Hoffman, Maggie Gyllenhaal…)? Why didn’t I think of that one? I LOVE this premise. Dying to see it. And I have to wait till November 10th? Not fair!

Last but never least is Jerry and Kym with their paso doble. Cute behind the scenes footage and an even cuter real matador. And then they put the poor man (Jerry, not the matador, not the guy who, you know, can actually do this) in a ring with a bull. A cute widdle baby bull. Who kicks Jer’s ass. God, it just keeps getting better, doesn’t it? He’s fun. Let’s keep him and get rid of Mario. C’mon, whaddya say?

Dancing to something absolutely horrific, Jerry comes out looking like some kind papal matador playing faux guitar (didn’t he learn anything from Joey?) Apparently, yes, as he did, because he smashes it rock star style against the stars while some poor woman whines her way through this barely recognizable song. Hilarious. Love it. But, I will say, the one thing about previous performances that I really credited him with, is he made it fun, but he really made an honest effort at dancing the dance. This one was more camp, not a lot of actual dance. He went a bit Too Far, but with two dances and his aching body, you almost have to forgive him. (Subliminal message/Send Mario Home/end subliminal message.) And the dragging at the end? I love again.

(Although, seeing how wiped out he truly is, and the fact that they have another dance number to go, how wise was it to make the old guy go last? Poor Jer.)

Judges? Carrie Ann agrees with me. Len give kudos for Kym. Agreed. Bruno says he loves watching him butcher dances and tonight is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. See? You have to love the whack that is Bruno. Scores - 7,6,5 for 18 which is really fair, all things considered. He did put a lot into the effort, just not in the way he needed to, and he totally agrees with the judges. I think he’s all but begging his fans to stop voting for him, he’s obviously in real pain here.

Next up we have the Group Disco number with all the illegal lifts you can manage! This should be interesting. And it’s live, too. No judges scoring on this one, it’s just to add to our own voting pleasure.

Behind the scenes…. they all gathered at a local dance place, complete with 70’s disco ball, hot choreographers Travis Payne and Stacy Walker and Jerry making an entrance that would make John Travolta weep. But totally cracked up the rest of the dancers. Cute. Joey and Mario do their Zoolander Michael Jackson - off. And Jerry is SO happy he can finally do lifts. Not. Medics!

Here we go…..wow, Emmitt shakes his groove thang and that lift? Fantastic. Great opener. Mo and Louis are next, very cute hand jive - bump, but the lift was a bit mechanical. Then we get all couples doing a choreo’d piece that looks great. Jerry and Kym get their spotlight, very cute Soul Train line dance and Jerry does the sprinkler. Jerry Sprinkler. Ha. Edyta and Joey are next (the cartwheel? not sexy, E) but you can see how seriously Joey is taking this. He feels the Mario aka Michael Jr Zoolander Blue Steel pressure, for sure. And they do pull the moves, those two. (But again with the crotch grab - family show, Mario!) I liked Em and Cheryl the most.

I’m all for Emmitt tonight. For me, this was totally his night.

Judges? Len says he thought they did well, then they cut back to Sam, who very clearly was expecting all three judges to speak and does not adlib well. Big shock there.

We’re at the end of the show and it’s finally time for the Sara Evans interview. A shame all around and kind of a downer, guys, after so much fun tonight, to put this at the end. Talk about buzzkill. If we wanted hard news, we’d watch….not a dance show. I know it’s a ratings grab as it’s the only interview she’s done since making headlines with a laundry list of tawdry allegations against her husband in a divorce filing after last week’s results show, but from a pacing perspective, and for her sake, it should have been done up front and over with before launching tonights dance bonanza, and not used as a marketing ploy to keep viewers tuned in. Ah well. Ratings are king, I suppose.

Tom does the interview, which is the most merciful thing for her and I’m happy for that. (Can you imagine if Sam was involved in any way? Shudder.) He’s very specific in his questions, far more so than I’d expected, but given the huge wave of media after such salacious charges, with people both slamming her and supporting her, I guess it’s the only way to put her words to it and end a lot of the speculation. But still, it was very rubber-neckery and I was uncomfortable for her and for myself. It’s a dancing show, not 20/20.

However, for all those questioning her timing in leaving the show, she does give a sort of timeline, saying she received damning info on her husband mere hours before showtime last Tuesday. She says you just flip the switch and the show must go on, and I can imagine, with the pressure on, in that moment, what else was she going to do? Still. Brutal. And explains a great deal about why she looked like an automaton.

Even at that point, shessays she intended to handle it privately, and stick to her contractual obligation to the show, despite her personal life finally shredding after an apparent long struggle which she thought she’d never give up on (this is someone who is very devoutly conservative and is adamantly and quite publicly against divorce) but apparently after the results show on Wednesday when Maks/Willa were voted off, something else came to light, which she does not go into, but whatever it was, it was the final straw. So much so that papers were filed the next morning where a restraining order was requested and sole temporary custody of her three kids (this from news accounts, not the interview.) And, as I say, given her committment to never giving up, and the nature of the allegations, god only knows what that straw must have been.

Her husband’s only public comment has been to make it appear as if their private struggle has been with her mental health and that she’s making this all up as some kind of crazy head publicity thing (even with court documented proof of files found on their family computer containing ads by him requesting group sex amongst other things, and including charges of adultery with their nanny, who is coincidentally her best friend. ) This denial from the also ultra conservative, pro marriage guy with political aspirations. Wow, the political arena is sure taking a hit these past few weeks, eh Delay and Foley?)

Anyway, back to Sara - she alludes to the fact that whatever happened Wednesday night affected her children a great deal and so the decision was made to step down and get aback to them in her home state, and take care of them directly during what looked to be a pretty nasty situation. (Apparently, according to her court filings, he’s threatened to take them to Oregon - where he’s from - and keep them from her.) After a night spent with her family, they all agreed she couldn’t go on with the show demands and keep her kids in the place they needed to be, emotionally and physically. According to her, whatever happened had them freaking out to the point she had her crying son on the phone with their pastor. He’s 7.

Just..ugh. Such a private hell and no need for all this to be public, but from what I understand, the reason behind all the sordid public revelations is that court filings (which the media got a hold of and splashed all over the place as they are public record when filed), when custody and restraining orders are asked for, require a certain level of detail to get those things granted. I just feel sorry for all of them and hope they can continue taking care of whatever the issues there are privately and for the best for everyone involved.

Tony comes out and joins her for the last few minutes of the interview and here’s where it gets weird and strays wildly from the “poor Sara” path. She says she’d like to come back for the finale (hopefully as a guest appearance only) and then announces she’s asked Tony to choreo her tour next year. The last part was kind of at odds with the solemnity of the situation, so…I’m still not sure what to think about her. But as I said, I do hope she gets the chance to do what she needs to do with her children to make sure they’re okay. That’s all that matters.

Back in the ballroom, Tom asks the audience for a show of support and it’s kind of surprisingly tepid given how rabid they usually are for her (maybe the end part threw them, too) and Sam awkwardly reads her lines…and we’re mercifully at the credits.

The standings are as follows:

Mario - 28
Emmitt 25
Joey 24
Monique 23
Jerry 18.

And I think that’s essentially a fair line up for the way I saw it. My votes go to Emmitt and Joey. I do fear the judges bottom two will be America’s bottom two. We’ll see tonight!

Happy Hump Day!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Due to tech issues, no blog today. Sorry!

See yesterday’s blog for all the delicious MAC goodness…

Tune in to tomorrow for Dance MAC!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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After spending several days reformatting 450 pages of almost-lost manuscript that took me 6 months to write, and trying not to have collective heart failure over said wipeout, I decide that I’ve earned some Reality Fun (with a side of ice cream, of course.)

So this fine Fall Monday morning, you get double the MAC, double the snark (and a little SHaQ Attack at the end!)

First up, Survivor…

Where we find the boys on Raro figured out right quick that with King JP no longer in the picture as the hot despot (you might recall he was overthrown during the Tribal Council Coup of Delicious Girl Power Goodness) that mebbe, just mebbe, they might want to get off their collective very fine tushes and, you know, do some WORK. And the manly man overkill of firewood chopped and fishies caught tickles the girls, and me, to no end. Love. It. Buh bye, JP.

However, over on Aitunes where the women, like the Raro men, have apparently NEVER watched this show before, we are about to get some reverse Man Power Goodness, albeit not quite as delicious, given that we’re talking Ozzy, Cai Boi, and Jonathan here, but we make do with some Yul. Ladies? Buy a very serious clue.

Okay, now we’re off to the Reward Challenge of Snarky Behavior. First, Aitunes has a collective orgasm when they realize Raro got rid of their strongest guy before what appears to be a very physical challenge. Then, as it’s a “hold these sandbags until you puke or drop them or both” challenge, they start trash talking each other, mostly being Flicka - and Flicka, you might want to remember you’ll eventually be one big tribe, dear - but starting with Jonathan who snarks on Jeff…and earns at least this week’s love from me for doing so.

Raro proves that they don’t need no stinkin’ JP when da boyz hang tough and outlast…Ozzy and Flicka. Yeah, I know. There’s a power team, but, well, the rules are complicated, you had to be there, but Flicka? Trash talking a cop? Buh bye. Hope you enjoyed the victory celebration by the OTHER team. Sheesh.

But Raro doesn’t send Flicka to Exile Island, praying, apparently that she will suffer worse at the hands of her own teammates. One can dream. Of course, she has to listen to Cao Boi non stop, so how much more punishment can there be? Instead, they send Jonathan of the gorgeous eyes that don’t match the rest of him packing.

Day 11…

Cop girl Cristina on Raro didn’t learn anything from the JP vote off and is now taking his place. Bright, really bright.

On Aitunes, Flicka, CB, and Oz are trying to get a 4th for their little outcast alliance and shockingly find no takers. So they head off to explore a nearby island by their outcast threesome selves. Only to find, lo and behold! They’re on Raro’s island. (Has this ever happened on Survivor before? Unintentional team visitry?) However, while the three are gone, Yul uses that chance to pull Sundra into his alliance. Ha.

In the meantime, over on Raro, there is a lukewarm at best reception for the surprise Aitunes visitors, who rapidly grow even more disheartened with their uninvited guests when Cao Boi starts being, well, Cao Boi. I wasn’t even there and I wanted him to STFU. And proving there was no low to which he would not stoop - this after the baby bird thrashing last week - CB actually begs from the other tribe. Yeah. /singsong voice/ Awkward Moment. /end singsong voice/ Win your own damn challenge and get your own damn food, Aitunes.

Immunity Challenge…

Jonathan returns from his self described million dollar sandbox and promptly outs the fact in front of God, Jeff, and everybody on both tribes, that he’s pretty certain someone has already found the idol. Hunh. Since a few likely candidates are in your tribe, two of whom are in your alliance…kind of an odd strategy there, my friend. It’s not a moment on the Billy Love Claim Scale of Crazy, but for gameplay, not perhaps the sharpest move he could have made. Time will tell. He’s wily, he might have a Big Plan.

Immunity challenge involves building tall stilts and moving people over water. Interesting and, finally, something a little different. Aitunes takes the early lead, but it doesn’t last. Then, in the game of I can stand better than you can crouch, Flicka tries to beat Jenny, but can’t do it. Jeff makes Parvati’s name sound like Poverty, so it’s kind of distracting. In the end, on the cram your entire team onto a platform the size of Triscuit, Aitunes win by a foot. Literally.

So Raro goes back to tribal. If we’re to believe the Tricky Survivor Editors of Sneaky Foreshadowing, Cop Girl Cristina Bossy Pants is going tonight. But…who knows. (Not JP! Ha!) Stephannie really has no game At All because, once again with a huge target on someone else’s back, she essentially offers herself up as a potential victim and last time I was all send her home if she doesn’t want to be there. But this time? No. Keep her ass on there and make her play the game, dangit. Her claims again of “wow, I sooo didn’t mean it that way”….no. Not buying the wide eyes of disingenuousness this time. She says she wants to play? Make her play. Send Bossy Pants home. Hunh. We’ll see.

At Tribal Council….

The tribe puts the brutal honesty smack down on Cristina, but I think they did it as well as they could and still convey she drives them nuts. And I hope Stephannie enjoys her mashed taters, cuz she’s no longer a castaway. Buy bye, Stephannie! You already know she’s going to be totally sweet in her exit interview…but wouldn’t it be great if she trots out her inner Wanda Sykes? I’d love it.

Next week? Looks brutal. Like another sand wrestling challenge. You just know it’s a bunch of guys who think these things up.

Onto the Double Your MAC, Double You Fun Monday MAC session…

Last night on Amazing Race… aka Peter is a Sociopath, Please Save Me! we have 7 teams left. And in case China and Vietnam haven’t completely ground them into dust, I know, let’s send them to India and make them drive cars!! Yay!

Actually, I love this season more than any, in terms of the race itself. Best Tasks Ever and I do like that it’s not predictable. With different teams winning each week, topsy turvy standings in every leg, bunching when it doesn’t matter and not when it does. Love.

The teams are interesting, most of them seem to get along, and other than Peter and occasionally Rob and Mary, I don’t want to personally strangle any of them more than once per episode. A marked improvement over previous seasons. (And anytime I find myself feeling snippy, I imagine myself doing whatever they’re doing and shut right up. Except for Peter, because, well, we all know what we’d like to do to Peter. A hug is nowhere on that list. Or kindness. Or mercy.)

I thought the endless bus/train/airplane travel arranging and taking was exciting for once, with the various bus, plane and airport drama being more diverse and less “bunchy” than past seasons. I liked the croc strapping versus paint-by-numbers, and the driving school was a hoot. And a honk. (Don’t drink and drive!)

I usually don’t root for the standard front-running male teams of modeling hotness, but the two this year are actually okay. Not overly dominant, they keep their heads (the airport stress out was about the only time I’ve seen them do that) and are basically nice to each other and the other teams. I like them. Mary, while annoying in the way she harps on David in That Voice, is fascinating to watch as she interacts with the world at large. She never met a culture she didn’t want to love. And I just love that about her. Even if there are times when I want David to muzzle her.

The *lyns are doing pretty well for the most part, but still have flashes of angsty crankiness that can annoy, but I applaud how well they’re doing, their spirit of teamwork together is great, and they seem to hang well with other teams. Unless they’re blonde.

The *wins are doing great and didn’t you just love their Tribute to Phil shirts? Great fun. They also seem to hang in pretty well, though the whole fake phone thing, while amusing, did come back to bite them in their formidable tushies.

Lost a lot of love for the BQ’s. They did race better, and I have zero issues with them wanting to stay away from Creepy Peter (do you notice that the teams all have bad things to say about him, but never Sara. It’s never “Peter and Sara” this or that, just Peter. Hmm.) But some of their smug behaviors was off putting, too. So, not feeling the love this leg for them, but nice comeback from behind anyway for a second place finish this leg.

Rob and Kimberly handled life pretty well this time around. He was especially funny with the driving school instructor and the drink/drive rule. (”Drink what?” Ha.) Nice to see he can be amusing. In a good way. And everyone rocked the gator farming. Wow, but cool.

Mostly though, this leg was dominated by the absolute creepy creepiness of creep that is Sociopath Pete. That discussion on the bus bench? Just…wow. No words for how scary he is. And his passive aggressive thing with the other teams is just flat out bizarre. How is it he has no sense whatsoever about people dynamics? None. I can’t jibe how he is, with what he does for a living. Unless he builds the prosthetics but has zero contact with actual clients. Hey! I know! He’s good at making robotic limbs because he’s really a cyborg! That explains a great deal. I’m SO glad I finally figured that out. Careful Sarah, or you will be assimilated!

Sickeningly, SocioPete and Sara are first this leg and our coalmining couple come in last. But, before you sob at the inequity of karma, we learn that this is FINALLY a non-elimination leg and with a SURPRISE TWIST! The producers finally learned that taking away their money and possessions has never once slowed a team down and America does not want to watch fellow Americans begging for money in foreign countries for fun and entertainment. So, they devised a challenge that actually means something. Go Jerry B!

The new twist is that, if you come in last and escape sudden race death, you are still a marked for death team. If you do not finish first in the next leg, you incur a 30 minute penalty when you land on the Amazing Bathmat and must wait out your fate. I think this is a great idea. It means that “hey, you were last, so if you want to stay in the race, you get one more chance, but you better hustle!” Good twist. Can’t wait to see how that one plays out.

Next week we get camel racing!

Now, finally, it’s time for some SHaQ Attack. Since we’re having a Reality Show Bonanza MAC Morning, this week the challenge is this: Correctly predict who will get danced off, voted off, eliminated from, or win ONE of the shows listed below and your name will be in the running for a drawing on your choice of a free book from my website bookshelf a week from today!

You can enter ONE guess for each of the four shows, but you only have to be right on any one of them to be eligible. On the off chance no one gets any of them right, everyone who enters will be in the drawing, so go ahead and take the chance! Guess, even if you don’t watch em. What have you got to lose?

The shows are:
Tuesday Night on Dancing With The Stars..will it be Jerry, Emmitt, Joey, Monique, Mario, or, because Sara is leaving, No One?

Wednesday night on Project Runway who wins the season finale? Jeff, Laura, Uli, or Michael?

Thursday on Survivor will it be Yul, Becky, Jonathan, Flicka, Candice, Cao Boi, or Ozzy from Aitunes, or Adam, Brad, Sundra, Jenny, Cristina, Nathan, Parvati or Rebecca from Raro?

Sunday on Amazing Race - will it be Team Coalminer, Romberly, Psycho/Sara, the Cho Bros, the *lyns, the Addicts (and Models!), or the Beauty Queens?

To enter your guesses, send an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with You’re Out! in the subject header. Remember, you can make ONE guess for each show. Good Luck!

So…about Peter….wow, huh? Is there a woman in America who would date this guy now? Run, run single women everywhere, run fast!

Who are you rooting for on Project Runway, Survivor, Dance, and Amazing Race?

Discuss.

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Best Tim Gunn line ever! Ah, what ever will I do without My Tim after this Wednesday? I tell ya, all my men are disappearing on me! First Maks, now Tim. And Dr McSteamy looks like he’s going to turn out to be a jerk despite the fact that he does things for bath towels which will keep me in Cookie Dough Ice Cream for a very long time. But what is it with jerk men lately? (Yes, Mario, I’m still looking at you.)

Although, I must say, from all the news surrounding Sara Evan’s abrupt departure from the same program after filing for divorce on Thursday, it looks like Mario is running a very distant second in the Weaseliest Celebrity Spouse Ever contest. Sure, Sara’s hubby denies everything. (Duh.) And sure, it’s true we have nooooo idea what’s really going on. But somehow, her long laundry list (and it’s a whole lotta dirty there folks) of his transgressions compared to his “well, I forgive the poor thing for making that incredibly detailed list complete with court documented proof and naming names, including that of our nanny who is also her best friend, because, you know she’s sick in the head and just making it all up, so please feel very sorry for her” /paraphrased, of course, rebuttal …

…yeah, I’m just going to sit over here on Sara’s side of the room until further notice.

Which leaves me with…Jack. No, not Jack as in I don’t have Jack, but Jack as in, yummm Jack from Men in Trees. And, at the very same bat time, different bat station, this Friday night, Las Vegas returns with all kinds of additional eye candy. Figures, doesn’t it?

So, back to Bonus Project Runway MAC…it’s part 1 of the finale where Hot Rod Tim takes his little red roadster and visits the designers during their two month design-an-entire-line end of season challenge.

Michael is as adorable as ever in his cute little Atlanta home, even cuter with his braces on, but his clothes, I’m not so sure about. I loved the white lace up dress as it seemed the perfect blend of his sporty aesthetic and pushing the boundaries. But the street jungle stuff? Not so much. Tim, because he’s still my TV Boyfriend for another week, concurs. We also meet Michael’s lovely family and realize why he’s grown into such a fine young man.

Then we’re off to see Laura in her Amazingly Massive NYC penthouse apartment. Wow. Just…wow. Tim steps off he elevator directly into her home (yeah, I know) and there is just acres of hardwood floor and you start to wonder just where all the money comes from. Family money? Because Mr Laura comes home and a dapper billionaire he’s not, though, of course, looks could be totally deceiving. But he frankly looks more like struggling college prof to me. Of course, he’s probably a world reknowned brain surgeon or something. Anyway…Laura is a real paradox for me. With her Hermes this and Gucci that and did I mention all that hardwood flooring? In New York City? She’s dressed to the nines, natch, calmly announces she’s carrying her fifth boy - in a row - while the other four come tumbling (literally) into the room…and she just stands blithely in the midst of the chaos. I just have this really hard time squaring those two incredibly diverse sides of her, even seeing her in action, crawling around the floor in her designer dress and heels, searching for the family turtle. As a person who creates characters for a living, she completely stumps me.

Her clothes look gorgeous as always, except for this one puke green with ruffles signature piece she’s hinging her line on. Both Tim and I express our concerns. I hope she at least listened to Tim.

Next, we’re off to visit Uli in sunny Miami where the waterfront view from her condo balcony is to die for and explains a great deal about her aesthetic. She has her line pretty much developed at this point, 4 weeks into the 8 weeks they have to prepare for it, and Tim doesn’t have a whole lot of constructive criticism to offer, except not to play it too safe. It’s hard to tell what the clothes look like as they hang limply on hooks/hangers.

So instead they strike off for the beach and take a stroll in the sand. Tim questions her on how different Miami is from growing up in East Germany and she says it was growing up watching Miami Vice (not kidding) that spurred her love for palm trees and all things sandy beaches and flip flops. I must say, it does seem to suit her spirit well. Good luck, Uli.

Last, we go see Jeff in LA and meet his mohawked wife (who seems very sweet in a I Could Kick Pink’s Ass kind of way) and his cute son, Harrison. He’s a much more humble Jeff and clearly striving to take care of his family. Then we head off to see his work space which is huge and to die for (I’d kill for a craft and work space a fraction of that size) but then he’s been doing this professionally and successfully for awhile now, so it makes sense.

His stuff is pretty cool, actually, for Jeff. Tim loves, Tim drools. And I can’t say I disagree. I might not wear his stuff, but he does have a very specific viewpoint…and I thought the zippers thing was cool, too.

Now we’re off to New York for Fashion Week.

And you know, when Laura runs in and rubs a totally zonked asleep Michael on the head to wake him up, do I see Laura the Mom for the first time. Much love when Uli arrives, lots of hugs all around. Jeffrey arrives then, and? Not as much hugging.

We see all the designers at work, finishing garments (except Jeff who is All Done) and picking models. Laura has suspicions that while Jeff did design his pieces, that the level of workmanship is such that no way could he have made all of his pieces in such incredible detail in the time allowed. The other designers tend to agree, she tells Tim, and, to her credit, also informs Jeffrey. And let the swatches fall where they may. Jeff is nervous, but declares he did all the work himself. Of course he’s not happy with Laura. I’m up in the air about all of it, as editing can make this situation look however they want it to. I’ll just say that she was within her rights to mention it, and was above board in saying she had, and Jeff did defend himself fairly well.

We’ll see what happens next week when they all show at Bryant Park. (Given that it is well documented that all 4 contestants did show their lines that week, I’m guessing the scandal doesn’t amount to much.) Tune in later this week for Farewell to Tim!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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So, I have this deadline. Actually, it’s a deadline I had, oh, back *&@&*^%$%@ weeks ago, but I have emerged triumphant! Yay, me. The first Black Sheep book is offiically done! Woo hoo! (To see back cover copy for The Black Sheep & The Princess due Aug 07 see my reader letter on my homepage. Link in the column to your right.)

However, trying to get said monsterpiece read, revised and polished for send off today before heading off to my other job, meant no Project Runway and no Survivor for me. No Grey’s either, so you know I was serious, since that meant no naked McSteamy. I know. Seriously. (Well, that and I’m still in mourning for Maks…)

Yes, the sacrifices I make for my art, but at some point, I was going to come home and find my very lovely and exceedingly patient editor sitting on my doorstep, toe tapping, hand extended. BUT! As a reward for all my incredible hard work, I do intend to treat myself to a marathon of reality programming this weekend and perhaps some extra party MAC to celebrate finally climbing out of deadline hell. Of course, now my next Black Sheep book is due…well, we really don’t want to go there and ruin the party mood, now do we? No, no we don’t. Besides, after my post-Maks-mortem ice cream indulgence, it might be a while before I can look at chocolate chip cookie dough again.

SO! In the meantime, I do want to announce this week’s SHaQ Attack winner, and the winning Desert Island Hero. It was a tough one this week, Blog Babes, with the Chisholm brothers most definitely holding a commanding lead on all the other heroes, except for Tag Morgan, who was a stubborn, but understandable contender. In the end, the hero you most wanted to be stranded on a desert island with was, of course, a naked Scot. Of course, this made perfect sense to me. So, Tristan Chisholm was this week’s winning hero by a….uh, nose. Or something.

And Tristan’s winning Blog Babe this week is Maureen E! Woo hoo, Maureen, way to go!!! In addition to lovely fantasies about being stranded on a desert island (or anywhere else really) with the naked Scot, you win your choice of book from my bookshelf. Enjoy!

Tune in this weekend for some Bonus MAC and Monday for Amazing Race MAC and the next SHaQ Attack contest. Have a lovely fall weekend everyone. It’s going to get cold here in Virginia so I can finally break out the fleece and the flannel sheets….and more importantly, the hot chocolate and marshmallows. I love fall.

And since it’s Friday the 13th….who is dressing up for Halloween and what are you going to be this year?

Tags: Writing by Donna
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So, who went home on Dancing With Maksim!…and a few other people…?

Backstage last night….

How cute were backstage Willa and Maks trying to refute the rumors? Very, I say.

Then Louis pulls out the Kama Sutra reference and all that squickiness I didn’t have last night? Monique and I shared this evening.

Karina calls Mario the King of Throbbing, which, hee! But enough with the disingenuousness, Mario. Puleeze. Even Karina gets it, already. (And boy does she…ba dum bump.)

Emmitt and Cheryl revel in the Carrie Ann getting her Fly Girl on segment of the evening’s festivities.

Joey twitches backstage and Sara continues to be delusional about her dance ability, said delusion enabled by her partner. And Jerry and Kym do the Perfection, Perfection, Perfection, US! Samba. Cuteness, squared.

Before we get to the Bottom Two, we find out who gets the encore (I’m guessing Jerry…) and I’m right! Tres cool and well deserved. (Plus, now my mom will get to see it and she missed it last night. Go, Mom!) Just as much fun as last time. Enjoyed it!

Hi Do You Think I’m Sexy Rod! I unabashedly love that guy. (Sam’s dress however, not so much. It’s like a bad Christmas bridesmaid dress. Wardrobe guy? Stop giggling and get back to work!)

Up next we get Rod Stewart singing Hot Legs, with back up dancers (or up front dancers, really) Edyta and Kym. Not to mention the hot Robert Palmer blonde on sax. Men everywhere start to spontaneously drool. Amongst other things. (Shut up, Louis.) Me, I just want to see more of the drummer. Yowza.

Sam is SO not cut out for this back stage stuff. She’s clearly not even caring what their answers are, just wanting to move on to the next scripted question. Tom is so great and he deserves a better sidekick. Where’s the Brit hostess from So You Think You Can Dance? Or Kelly Ripa? Lisa Rinna? Bueller? Somebody!

HEY! It’s Jack (James Tupper) from Men in Trees in the house! Drooling over Willa. Good taste, my man. (And I do mean MY man. I saw him first.)

And wow, Tia Carrare looked great!

Now we find out the first two couples who are safe. Oh. Yippee. It’s Mario and Karina. My heart…sings. Tra. And. La. More exciting, is the news that Monique and Louis are safe, ruining my Bottom Two Guess that Monique was in danger of hitting the Red Light tonight. Which, scarily, leaves….Joey in the danger slot. Noooooo!

Next week our stars get to do a solo dance with their partners, then a group disco dance all together. And! Lifts are finally allowed. Take THAT Uncle Lenny!

Okay….who ARE these disco village people and how did they get into our ballroom? I want OUR disco dancing pros. Pout. I FF thee!

Tysonia does the quick step, and…not her dance. She dances in front of her choir this week. They love and she seems to do a pretty good job, for all the cameras never actually show anything.

Rod the Bod is back, fluffing his hair, and singing Fooled Around and Fell In Love. I happen to love this song, but not as much by Rod. Sorry, babe. Love ya….but Elvin Bishop owns this song. Owns.

Enjoyed the behind the scenes gab with the pros talking about teaching celebs to dance.

Now, we find out who is in the Bottom Two… Is it Sara and Tony as any decent, loving, want-to-save-Sara-from-utter-exhaustion human being would suspect? Uh, that would be a Big N-O. Sheesh. (Look out Joey!) Would it be Jerry and Kym? Yep, Red Light Zone for these two. And we love em, but yeah, of the remaining dancers, they do belong there. They just belong there next to SARA.

Really enjoyed the behind-the-scenes dress rehearsal footage. I always love stuff like that. I’m the one who watches through the credits while they mill around after the show is over. Like last night, it was interesting to see who talked to whom when they thought the cameras were off. And how Jerry immediately went over to the judges and individually shook their hands.

Okay, so really, Mario has his priest bless him before each performance? Because, well, it is brain surgery, after all. (Of course, we all know how devoutly faithful he is…) And…Good luck, dude? I so want to go to that church. Joey with his daughter’s pics are adorable. And Willa is actually very well spoken in her comments.

Who else is in the bottom two red light? Is it Emmitt and Cheryl or Willa and Maks? Or is it Joey and Edyta? (Donna nods.) Emmitt and Cheryl are…safe! Not fair making My Maks sweat like this…..and WHUT?? They’re in the Bottom Two and Joey is safe? The world as we know it has officially lost its collective mind. Wow. Just….wow. Or, as Joey and his baby daughter are probably saying…Whoa.

Well, they sure as heck got me…and from reading the bb’s yesterday, a whole lotta other viewers as well. Dang, I really didn’t see that one coming. And Jerry, I love you, but I’d MUCH rather see more of Mak’s man cleavage than yours, so I’m SO hoping it’s you tonight, buddy. Because Willa going home before Sara? Is just wrong.

So, we have two of the most entertaining perfomances in the Bottom Two. Who gets the ax?
Willa is already shaking her head, she knows it’s Upset Night….and she’s right.

I have….no words. Except thank you for the beach footage editors, and that lovely rumba. At least they parted on an incredibly beautiful note. And hey, now they can officially date! But I’m going to miss them both. What a travesty that was. Sheesh.

Willa handles it really well and Maks tells her she’s become his favorite student. (Sorry, Tia!) Awwwww. Sigh. They go to have their final dance, and everyone rushes to hug them, with Joey in the bounding lead. Tom announces they will both be on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I’m so taping that. Jerry clearly feels terrible, while Sara thinks her continued presence on the show is well deserved. Like I said, delusion is a wonderful thing. Until it screws up my dance show!

I officially give up guessing who will go home now. I should hate this show, but I’m in it until the end now. I can’t believe you left us with squicky Mario and Karina as our love interests. Ewww. Thanks, America.

Discuss.

Tomorrow this week’s SHaQ Attack winner is announced. The last two weeks it has ended up being last minute voters who coincidentally won, proving it’s never too late to vote! And, if I can drown my Maks sorrow in enough Edy’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, perhaps some Part One Project Runway Finale MAC will come your way….

Sob.

Tags: Writing by Donna
11 Comments »

I love Tom Bergeron. Wouldn’t it be great if he wrote books? I’d be first in line.

Speaking of books - I just saw where Jennifer Crusie is headlining a Christmas anthology next month - Santa Baby - with a brand new, never-before-published story. Woot! I’m anxiously awaiting Agnes and the Hitman, so this should help tide me over.

And I’m guest blogging today over at Brava Authors so come over and join us!

Okay, so back to hot people dancing with very little clothes on. (Of course, I only watch so I can recap for all you Blog Babes. No, no, don’t thank me. I sacrifice because I care.) By the way, ohmygod, did you see a shirtless Maksim rumba-ing on the beach at sunset in the previews? Fanning self. Yes, such a sacrifice I’m making. I need ice cream. Right now.

It’s Latin Night and our remaining 7 couples do the Staircase Stroll of Sauciness. Edyta and Joey, Sara and a scary-haired Tony, Monique and Louis, Emmitt and Cheryl, Willa and Maksim, Mario and Karina, and Jerry and ShowgirlKym. (Does this mean there’s a Barry Manilow tune in my immediate future? And just where do we write to Stoned Music Selection Dude anyway?) Then the camera pans down the row and I realize Jerry is wearing a ruffled shirt that exposes a whole lot of man cleavage that should be left to guys like Maksim, and I want to write to the Stoned Wardrobe Guy instead. And, confirming my suspicions, we see that Monique has on this Swan on Crack outfit that Bjork would love, but me? Not as much. Silly Stoned Wardrobe Guy.

Tonight, all our dancers are doing the Sexy Samba or the Romantic Rumba. Louis! and Karina do the Samba demo, which is perfect for Louis as it is a fast, energetic party dance that showcases his whipcord moves really well. Karina also botafogo’s her tassles off. They also demo the Rumba, the sensual dance of love. Not buying Louis as much in this demo…and a little squicked out at the idea he might have to do this foreplay masquerading as a dance with Monique. ( And Jerry? I cringe in horror.) Maksim and Willa on the other hand? I’m buying tickets to that show. Pass me my ice cream.

Joey and Edyta are up first with a samba. Edyta is wearing a sheer body stocking masquerading as clothing (but if I had her body, I might be tempted to wear the same. Grocery shopping. Just sayin.) and Joey is all dolled up in the ballroom equivalent of biker gear. In behind the scenes footage, Joey admits he struggles with the moves, and it doesn’t get any easier. I admit, they do look so challenging, but it’s also clear he has great natural dance rhythm. I enjoy watching him, even practicing. He’s good. So calm down, Joey, and roll with it.

Here we go….and Joey gets in touch with his inner George Michael (which, I know, but go with me on this) as they dance to Freedom. On the surface, another whack musical choice for a latin dance, but I like this song and it’s sexy enough that I’m going with it. Oooh, then we lose the biker jacket and it’s all Joey Arms and I’m seriously going to need more ice cream. And maybe a fan. Except, as it moves along, I can’t help noticing his hand positions and movements are almost femme instead of alpha sexy, which is totally at odds with the rest of his body, but…it’s still striking me that way and kind of taking me out of the ice cream moment here. Dammit. Anyone else feel that way? But no doubt he’s good and the hip action makes up for the weird hand thing, so I’ll just look at his hips, which frame a very nice tushie, btw. (Again, the sacrifices I make.) You know, I think, watching the whole thing, it’s because the song isn’t fast enough for the samba, so they’re dancing at a weird half-beat cadence that is too slow for this and that’s why his arm motions are coming off kind of over-posed and extended. So…totally not his fault. It’s all Stoned Music Guy. Again. They are clearly enjoying themselves and I love Edyta’s natural smile in this dance. Hopefully they won’t fall victim the First Performer Low Score of Death.

Judges? Lenny says he needs to take off his shackles of inhibitions. Bruno said they were sharp, especially having to dance to that song. Carrie Ann applauds their skill level but says she didn’t see them as up to par tonight. Honestly, I think it was having to dance a fast dance in slo mo that killed them. Hard to make all those sharp moves look sharp when you’re moving slowly from one pose to the next. Scores - 8, 8, 9 for a 25 which is good.

We find out Rod Stewart is the musical guest tomorrow night. And hey, I just realized they totally abandoned the whole Mystery Dancer thing. Well, it was kind of lame.

As we go to break, Willa looks sexy, Mario looks like…Mario, and Sara Evans looks incredibly tired, even in her bright, lime green party dress and lots of make up. Please, for the love of god, Country Music Fans, let her go home. I love her, too, but she’s clearly running on fumes. I’d rather keep Jerry and his man cleavage. And that is really saying something.

Next up is Willa and Maks doing the rumba. (More ice cream, stat!) Maksim in jeans on the beach? We need a lot more of that. And shirtless Maks on the beach at sunset, as Willa admits there is more going on between them than dance lessons….yeah, every week please. Twice.

Dancing to (ohmygod, NO) Every Breath You Take. Do they sit back stage every week on Song Choice Day, cracking up as they pass the pipe and toss out the most ridiculous song they can think of or what? Way to ruin it, guys. I’m just going to mute it and watch these two with my own music. So there Stoned Music Guy! HA! One thing is for sure, the judges can’t say a word about their chemistry. Whew! This is…..wow. They just started and I already need a cigarette — and I’ve never smoked in my life. These two are having such a great time, little private smiles for each other, there might as well not be another soul in the room. The hell with a bowl, pass me the whole damn quart. Now that? Is an alpha male. And how cute was she after being all vampy, with her little skip over to Tom. I really do like her.

Judges? Carrie Ann says if they’re not dating, they need to start now. She applauds the sophistication she brought to the dance. Uncle Lenny says she’s going from strength to strength. He says their rumba was sublime. Bruno said she was the mistress of tease and left him breathless. Scores - 9, 9, 9 for 27 which is great. When asked how their close relationship helps doing a dance like the rumba, Willa inadvertantly cracks everyone up by saying they have great chemistry no matter what they’re doing - which, awww, give her a break folks, this can’t be easy. But…you know, hubba hubba all the same! And as she tries to fix the double entendre, she quickly realizes she needs to just shut up, but is very cute about it and Maks is cuter, kissing her on the temple as they both laugh. This? Will keep her on the show. Who doesn’t like romance? Not me! Not me!

Next up, we have Sara and Tony (and Tom? Love, really. You make it look so easy.) I will say, there can’t be worse music than they had last week (and please dear music gods, that was NOT a challenge) so hopefully she’ll at least acquit herself well this week, but man, she looks all kinds of done in. They are doing the party dance samba, which, definitely a better choice than the rumba for these two. I give her credit - the behind the scenes shows her tackling this with a great sense of humor and a lot of patience. (The singing while dancing theory, I’m not so sure about, but whatever works.)

And here we go…they get cuter music than Joey and Edyta did with a Stevie Wonder song, and Tony does his best to be adorable, but coming on after Maks and Willa is a tough act to follow for anyone, guy or girl. It’s still a half speed kind of song, though. I guess the fast twitch kind of dancing is just too hard to master for the amateurs, but it seems going slow like this is even harder, or makes them look more awkward I guess. Anyway, she does really try her best, she’s smiling and going for it, but she’s simply not the dancer the other contestants are (save for Jerry, of course) and I’m guessing that while her fans might keep her in another week, she won’t make it to the end, no matter how much they power vote. In a totally cute move however, they stroll over to the judges, then immediately drop to their knees and genuflect, which, after last week’s beating, is pretty funny. Everyone laps it up. (including Lisa Rinna and a very svelte and adorable Tia spotted in the audience!)

Judges? Bruno says she was sexy and footloose. Carrie Ann says when it feels good, it looks good. And Len says he bought one of her CD’s this week, then ruins it by admitting he didn’t buy it new (which, he apparently doesn’t realize how insulting that is, or that she gets nada from that sale, so why bring it up?) then he says she interpreted this song very well. Scores - 8,8,8 or 24 which is way high to me. 20-22 range was more like it.

The toasted chips and George Hamilton commercial? Cute. Was that Kym?

Now we get Mario & Karina and their rumba. Yeah, you’re going to look technically fanastic and we know you’re doing it, but you’re no Maksim and Willa. So there. So, of course, we get behind the scenes footage showing them busting butt at rehearsals right after last week’s results show. That proves too much, so naturally Mario takes Karina in a very tiny white bikini, to his friends pool (aka grotto) where we get bomp-chicka-bomp music while they frolic and Mario rubs oil all over her and does the Spiderman kiss (isn’t this a family show?) Anyway, I guess this is the naughty to Willa and Maks’s romantic beach stroll. Yawn. Whatever.

Of course, you realize, if he wasn’t such a slime, I’d be ALL over this. But he is slime, and I don’t love this. Hearing the audience audibly shriek and swoon as the footage rolls, I realize I am completely alone in feeling this. Whatever. No votes for Mario! And the disingenuous “we’ll be friends for a long time” after all the oil rubbing and kissing? Shut up, Mario. And wipe that smile off your face while you’re at it.

I know. But he grates.

So, here we go with what promises to be the rumba of the night, technically, anyway. I’m betting we finally see sharp moves more on the pro level. And I’m not wrong, as it turns out. They get very sexy music, best of the night, with Just the Way You Look Tonight and come out whispering to each other as they stroll to the floor, and it’s obvious they’re so doing it, and if it were anyone else, I’d be swooning right along with everyone else. They do look fabulous. The dance is perfection, more like a pro demo than a contestant dance. For once, Mario keeps his eyes on his partner and not the camera or audience, and it amps up everything exponentially. The crowd is having a collective orgasm already and we’re not even half way through. So, I’m guessing multiples all around, then. Just saying. Gorgeous.

Judges? Len says he was breathless, he’s almost speechless with his praise. Bruno says intense, masterful, and throbbing. (Ha! Bruno love.) He says he doesn’t know what they do after hours, but it’s working. Carrie Ann says she’s going to get nitpicky, because they’re fabulous, so she wants to point out where they can improve. (And, maybe it’s me, but, as the only woman on the panel, could it be she feels the same way I do about the guy? Just a guess. Smooches, Carrie Ann.) Anyway, she says his movements at times are clipped and she’d like to see him flow more. Scores - 9, 9, 9 for 27 which isn’t the 30 that performance technically merited. So, of course, I’m very happy with that.

Now, backstage we find out it’s his birthday (and though he’s slime, I luuuuved the way he smacked down Samantha’s little puerile dig. Yay, I used Uncle Lenny’s word!) and they surprise him with a cake I’d pay money to see Will and Maksim eat. Hey, where’s the ice cream? And Tom with the Mario dig? Wow, I’m just loving all of you tonight. I guess it’s not just me. Woo hoo!

Next, we get Jerry and Kym and I definitely need some ice cream to get through the man cleavage showgirl performance. I do like that after the undeniable sentimentalism of last week, he’s going for fun and schmaltzy this week. Good move, Jerry.

They get actual Latin samba music, and the whole thing is just good, campy fun, which, at this point, is all he can really do anyway. I enjoyed it, man cleavage and all. Kym is such a great partner for him, kudos to her for great choreo every week. Judges? Carrie Ann says he’s tapped into the communication of dance and really entertains. Lenny says as a man of similar age, he sympathizes with what Jerry’s body is going through, and that he looks forward to him more than any other celeb each week, as Len the viewer. As Len the judge, he says he’s going to give him the highest mark this week for sheer entertaiment value, that what Jerry does isn’t as easy as people think, which I happen to agree. Bruno says it was insanity at the Copa and he loved it. Scores - 8. 8. 8 for 24, which, after Sara, works fine for me.

Next week we learn they do an individual dance and a group disco number, then Jerry sends out a plea to his fans, which he says are all in prison, pleading for them to use their one phone call to vote for him. He really makes being funny look easy. Very endearing guy, our Jerry. And to think I wanted to boycott the whole season because they cast him. Silly Donna.

Monique and Louis! are next with, yeah, a rumba. Sigh. I knew this was going to happen. I almost feel just, squicky, watching this. I can’t help it. I just don’t buy the romance here. Teacher-student, people. Someone has to stick with the program with everyone else sleeping together, come on! Ah, okay. But then, Louis’s basketball shorts are so hilarious, that I don’t feel so squicky anymore. That? Is funny. But his approach to teaching dance I actually really relate to (unlike his pupil, who is trying though) and so that part intrigues me. But those shorts, Louis? Burn em.

So here we go, in her wild swan on crack dress, and they also get nice slow rumba-ish music. She overcomes the fashion faux pas nicely and the dance is very smooth and beautiful to watch. I think it’s very tastefully executed, my squick factor fears prove unfounded. It’s not going to steam anyone lenses, thank goodness really, but it is lovely to see and that is where this couple really is. So golf clap, Louis, for understanding your boundaries and doing a choreo that suited them beautifully. A wow, ending.

Judges? Bruno says little mermaid turned into tempting siren. Carrie Ann says she’s grounded and her shapes are very sensuous but that she’s a little internal and could stand projecting more to the crowd. Len says attempting that routine was courageous (and it was difficult, but very well done) and a great performance. Scores - 9, 9, 9 for 27 which is great and makes for a really tightly scored week.

Last up is Emmitt and Cheryl with a samba. This could be fun. Behind the scenes footage of Emmitt with his kids is priceless. Yes, Emmitt, it is that important, to put down whatever you’re doing to be there for them. And you can bet they will always be thankful for it. Kudos to you. So now we get Emmitt getting his party dance on. And I’m betting he’s going to have a ball with this. But first he needs to get his entire body cracked by his chiro guy. Yowch. But still, how adorable is this man? Hard to believe when you look at that smile how feared he was when he put his football pads on.

And here we go. I have a feeling this is going to be so much fun. And they get Latin music, too. Yay! They are having fun. It’s not the strongest dance of the night, but these two are such a pleasure to watch. Her choreo is always wonderful and that smile of his lights up the ballroom. Loved it. That was great.

Judges Len says he’s back bigtime. Says it was the best samba tonight. I’d agree. Bruno says he’s a party legend. Carrie Ann says nothing but gets up and shakes her moneymaker. Wow, you go Carrie Ann! Scores - 9, 9, 9 for 27 very well deserved points.

Tonight was easily the most competitive of the entire season, and very enjoyable all the way around. Not a bad dance amongst them really. The standings look like this:
Willa 27
Mario 27
Monique 27
Emmitt 27
Joey 25
Jerry 24
Sara 24

Wow, so it’s all up to the fans really. But then, when isn’t it? I can’t really guess who will go home. Of course, the judges bottom 2 would be mine, too and I’d send either home, except I’d lean toward Sara over Jerry, because he does really bring the performance aspect to his less than stellar dance abilities, where she….really doesn’t. Their fan bases makes it really hard to predict, though.

Who do you think will go home?

Tags: Writing by Donna
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And we’re off on another Amazing Leg…

Eight teams are left… The *win bros are off and racing first, then the Addicts (and Models!) are next…then Romberly (we find out Rob had to be treated for heat exhaustion at the end of the last leg. I think that’s one of the things, along with the sheer endurance, that is lost in watching. The viewer doesn’t get a sense of how hot it is, or that they were 30 hours on that train, etc. so it’s really hard to get a true sense of how wiped out they really are. )The BQ’s are off next and it’s clear just how close the last leg was, with all the teams leaving minutes apart. Peter and Sarah are next out of the gate and Sarah seems to be buying a clue that her boyfriend is essentially an unfeeling ass. (Okay, so she says “complicated” but we all know “complicated” means “impossible to deal with in almost any situation.”) She would be right about that. The *lyns take off and we hear yet again about how they are sacrificing themselves for the sake of their children to run this race. And yes, this is quite a thing you’re doing, but we know already, we know. Karlyn seems a little hard core. David & Mary leave next and Mary is facing her personal wall, as she realizes she is limited physically. Me? I think she’s awesome in terms of the ability she’s shown thus far, but I will say the sprained ankle might just be one thing too many for her to conquer. Last and kind of least, are the Double T’s.

The *wins get bad taxi karma. The Addicts (and Models!) arrive first at the clue stop. Romberly interview how they can’t stand Pushy Peter. Yeah, get in line. Sarah and Peter are both rubbing me the wrong way as they chuckle and cheer with every team they pass in their speedy taxi. Both teams arrive next. The BQ’s get there, and the clue said they have to “listen” for their next clue. The Beauty Queens hear…crickets. The *lyns show up and everyone is trying to shut up and listen. Then the statue starts ’speaking’ to the racers and everyone scrambles to write down what the recorded voice is saying. He is throwing Vietnamese words at them without benefit of any spelling, so this? Could get really interesting. (Yay, Race Producers for bringing back a real race! Maybe all those unfavorable Treasure Hunter task comparisons got to you. Could you perhaps mention this to the Survivor producers? Thanks.)

So…the teams all race off to…unpronouncable name locations they have no idea how to spell. Except the Addicts(AM!) who drag their driver over to the speaker and get him to listen to the message personally. Very clever! Peter and Sarah copy them. Figures! Romberly follows the Models. Peter is an ass to their driver. And then Rob is having major meltdowns because they can’t keep up with the Model’s taxi - well, next time, get the dang directions yourself. Sheesh. Mary is making more friends (doncha love her?) and David tells her that despite the fact that she thinks their driver is just the coolest thing ever, she can’t take him home with her. I Heart Them a lot in that moment. Double T makes the first stop. And Rob has a total meltdown and bails out of his taxi and yanks suitcases out, with a lot of bleeped out stuff. Dude has to calm waaaaaay the hell down. (Here is when I’m wishing there was a girl power alliance who could just, you know, vote him off the island. And Peter. Then Sarah and Kimberly can just finish the race.)
There is a huge cluster at the statue and the *win’s ask Double T if they can follow. Mary’s got her Vietnamese on. (And why are they blurring out some of the driver’s faces and not others? Odd.) Romberly gets bad taxi karma again with a driver who appears seriously impaired. Or maybe it’s just Rob who is impaired, but it’s not fun to watch. Third time seems to be the charm and Rob finally STFU.

The BQ’s, Models find the first place. Double T, *wins get there next and the bro’s promise to help the T’s in the future. The *lyns get there, Romberly gets there (not even last) and finds out that his entire meltdown doesn’t matter as the bus station they are at doesn’t open till morning anyway, but it doesn’t keep him from bitching at anyone who will listen. Where is the Mute Rob button when I need it? Peter and Sarah arrive. Mary hugs a startled taxi driver, freaking him slightly out, but they are also there. At 5am, everyone boards the same bus.

The bus arrives at a lovely harbor and the teams debark and race madly for the clue box. Dave saw it from the bus, so he and Mary get their first. Then Phil (hi Phil!) tells us that the roadblock ahead requires one person “to summon the guts and stamina to power through a potentially frightening challenge.” When Phil feels the need to deliver this kind of warning, it can’t bode well. As you may know, each teammate must share an equal load of Roadblocks, so some of the teams with one member doing more than the other to this point (yes, Peter, I’m looking at you) might find this one a bit daunting. The challenge is to use ascenders to climb a sheer 90 foot wall, positioned out over the water. Three racers can go at a time, first come, first serve.

Mary can’t make it to the boat out to the challenge fast on her bum foot, so they slip in the standings. Double T’s are first, Romberly is second, Peter/Sarah are third, and Sarah feels compelled to explain to the guy who builds prosthetic limbs for a living that while she has strong arms and legs (which is what the clue asked for) she will be slower than the others on this challenge. This would seem unnecessary, but we all know differently. He brushes her off with “fine fine” when we allll know it will be anything but fine for Peter if she’s not fast enough for his liking. The rest of the teams follow. Some boats are faster than others.

David and Mary actually get in first, followed by Romberly and the Double Ts. David, Rob, and god if I know which T are doing the roadblock for those three teams. The *lyns, the *wins, the Peter/Sarah are next. Meanwhile, David is kicking Rob’s ass in the rope climb. Yeah, coalminers rock! The *wins are suitably impressed, but not so much when they see Sarah is climbing for her team. (Peter will probably take the hit for that, but in all fairness, Sarah basically took it on without any room for argument. Not that Peter made one of course….) The Models and BQ’s are last to the platform.

Peter keeps giving Sarah “motivational speeches” which are annoying as crap, except the longer she watches the other climbers, the more Sarah seems to need them. Maybe they are suited for each other. Shrug. All I can say is, better her than me when it comes to her choice in men. Ish. Rob gets to the top first with Dave right behind him, then they have to rappel back down. The left behind T cracks me up when he murmurs “Oh my god, he’s totally going to make me do the next roadblock after this.” Ya think?

Romberly, T’s, and Team Coalminer are off to the next clue which is in a cave. And once again, as Karlyn starts her climb, we are reminded they are, yes, doing this for (all together now) their children. Sarah is quietly freaking out and Peter thinks it’s funny to tell her to pull her handicap placard out so she can cut in line. Ha ha, except so incredibly not. Ass. One of the *win’s is climbing his very fine ass off, and the left behind *lyn tells her teammate that if she can give birth with no anesthesia, this climb is a piece of cake, which cracks Karlyn up and makes me love them just a little. So, the guy is trying to tell Sarah how to use the equipment except Peter is shouting his own instructions so it’s impossible to concentrate. Shut up, Peter.

The *win makes it to the top, but is too shaky to descend. Sarah has some issues, and has her personal “find your power” come to Jesus speech, while Peter is kicking back in the boat, shades on, chewing gum, telling her she can do this and not looking particularly concerned. This should make me happy, but it doesn’t. He’s just….well, look at him. Ish. The *lyns continue to crack me up.

First three teams out make it to the caves and it’s a lot of crawling and ducking, which Rob, because he can’t calm the hell down and take his time, doesn’t handle well. Or should I say the noggin he cracks on the rocks doesn’t handle it well. It’s no wonder he had heat exhaustion the last leg. He’s exhausting just standing there. But Kimberly finds the clue box, and the *wins are heading to the cave.

Now we have a detour and Phil wearing khakis and a lovely mango colored shirt that would slip off ever-so-nicely and–um, where was I? Oh yeah, detour…but, you know, Phil is looking a wee bit tired and I think he needs some R&R. I have a few suggestions. Just, you know, in case. But he insists on telling us about the detour, which involves two jobs that are vital to the Vietnamese economy. One is loading provisions and delivering it via small boat. The other involves rowing a boat to a pearl farm, pulling up pots, then making a delivery.

In other news, Peter is still being a total ass. Sipping his soda, joking with the Models, while his girlfriend is slowly, quietly, falling apart. He never seems to get which thing is required at which time. Not even in the ballpark of getting it. The hemisphere. The galaxy. Space to inifinity. And beyond. The *lyns are off to the cave. The models make it up the wall next, and Tyler whispers encouragement to Sarah. I love him for that, as Peter is saying “keep it going, sister” and Sarah has had just about enough of his cluelessness. The Model who has known her less than a week or two, is better at being supportive than the guy who has been by her side as friend and now (supposed) lover for seven whole years. Buy your big clue now, Sarah. Team BQ tackle the wall. Sarah makes it and they are in 7th place as they head to the cave. The BQ’s are right behind them in last place.

Rob and Kimberly promise to be highly entertaining as they get into the rowboat first (entertaining in that Oh my god, look at that massive train wreck! kind of way.) Hissy fits ensue.

Other teams make their way across the harbor to cave and on to row boats. The Double T’s are equally amusing. And for a guy who’s “never done this” David manhandles those oars like nobody’s business - certainly nobody who is on this race. You go, Dave. They bicker, well Mary bickers, but that seems to be their way. I’m not fond of it and her voice grates at times, but they do work well together. The T’s are still vastly amusing.

The *wins tackle the boat, but look a bit clueless for guys with massive degrees. The Models, on the other hand, make like David and row. And, this next part I love. Sarah tells Peter she’ll do whatever he needs as he rows, and he says he just needs her to be quiet. So she gives him the same motivational speeches he gives her, making him crazy. He lectures her about how he does NOT need encouragement and she needs to just shut up. Despite the fact that that is his default position with her every second of the day. Apparently only people with one fake leg need actual verbal encouragement. God, you just want to kick him. Like all the time, don’t you?

The *lyns struggle, as do the BQ’s, but despite being in last place, they are really determined. It’s windy now, which makes it harder. All the teams are kind of melting down and really struggling in the difficult conditions. Except Romberly, who are already pulling pearl pots. Most teams end up choosing the pearl pots, too, because to go the other way means rowing against the wind. Except the *lyns who somehow managed to make it to the produce challenge.

Romberly is now being quite obnoxious with each other and the locals as they row back and head toward the pit stop (which is quite the gorgeous view from the air.)

And the *lyns are the only team who really get the moment to absorb their surroundings and draw something from them. Way to go *lyns. If not for the constant “doin it for the kids” stuff, these two are actually likable this week. The rock wall won big points, and this moves them even higher.

Back at the pots, Peter is such a jerk, bitching at the T’s and Sarah, but this is not a news flash. He can row a boat though. He’s also a quitter. He states that after this challenge, he is done. Through. He does not want to do this anymore. Apparently this is just the final straw for Peter. I have no idea why since they seem to be handling the challenge as well, if not better than the majority of the teams trying this one, but whatever. Who knows what goes on in Peter’s little mind. The T’s provide comic relief. Dave and Mary are pulling pots, and the *lyns are collecting produce. The Models have their 30 pots, and have been calm, which is nice contrast to just about everyone else.

Phil unfortanately gets to tell the grinning Team Romberly that they are team number one. Yeah, yeah, whatever dude (as Rob would say. To Kimberly.) They get jet skis. Phil asks if they are being nice to each other and while I laugh hysterically, Rob admits he has a wee problem with pacing himself. Yeah, Rob’s a wee wee.

The *lyns are getting stuck trying to get back to the boat. The *wins get their clue to the pitstop, along with Peter and Sarah, and the Models. Peter has to be reminded to help Sarah out of the little row boat into the big boat and seems a bit peeved at this request. STFU, Peter and help your girlfriend for cripes sake. And then Sarah spends the trip to the pitstop telling Peter how awesome he is (I’m guessing to beef up his ego so he doesn’t quit, but who knows. I admire Sarah a great deal, but I don’t like her a whole lot.) Peter ignores her comments and she sits on the other side of the boat, which he doesn’t even seem to notice. She interviews that her feelings toward him have changed (hallelujah) and I think the “dating” part of their relationship is over. I’m hoping the rest of it is, too. She doesn’t need his influence in her life on any level I don’t think. I’d like to see how she’d be with another racer, or alone, just to get a better sense of who she is personally,when she’s not trying to manage Peter,which I think she does more than we realize. And then she bitch-terviews to the camera sitting next to Peter, about Peter, and he just sits there and smiles serenely, which is really whack. Both of them. Honestly. Shaking my head. I officially give up with them. Like Peter, I am giving up in the middle of their race, and I just don’t care.

The T’s - comedy gold. Dave and Mary get their pitstop clue. The models realize they’re going slow because their boat captains forgot to pull the anchor up. Double comedy gold. But that allows Peter and Sarah to make the pitstop second. Yeah, this is just getting better and better, this line up. Except so not. She tries to slip her arm around his waist on the Amazing Bath Mat as Phil announces them team number two, but he just puts his hands on his hips and slides her arm off. Such a great guy.

More *lyn struggles and I have NO idea how they’re going to do this, but damn if they aren’t trying. I’m officially IN their corner. You go single moms. Do it for the kids, come on! The Models are team 3. The BQs and T’s are still pulling pots. The *win’s are team four. Mary sees Pheel in his mango shirt from the boat and totally agrees with me on his scrumptious quotient. The BQ’s get their pitstop clue. The *lyns get theirs. Phil tells Team Coalminer they’re team 5, which is one rung higher than they thought they were. You gotta love those two. Plucky, aren’t they? The T’s are done pulling pots and get their pitstop clue while the BQ’s row to the wrong island, thinking it’s the pitstop. I think that might be one too many mistakes for them, but then we’re due for a non-elim round anytime now, so who knows. This has been a really physical leg, with the climbing and all the rowing. I’m tired just watching.

Three teams are still heading to the pitstop. The T’s are bitching, because Tom is exhausted and Terry Has Had Enough of his whining. Even the BQ’s are uncustomarily bickering (though mildly) because the clue carrier Q let the clue get mangled and they cant’ read it properly, which is why they’re on the wrong beach. The *lyns on the other hand, are worried they’re last, but they are handling it strongly. The Q’s figure out they need to go to the boat, not the beach. The T’s are stuck and are now yelling for help while the *lyns are Team Number 6 and thrilled.

The girls are almost at the boat, and Tom, in a show of manliness that absolutely stuns me, gets out of the boat, into the water, and PULLS it by himself. Wow. I wouldn’t have thought he had that in him, even if he wanted to. Major golf clap for T. The Q’s lose it, then cling to each other and just let it out. Tom is wiped out and clings to Terry and lets it all out (still amusingly.) Awww, both of them, group hug! What a bitch of a day. I’d have been toast a long while back. Who will be last? Not the BQ’s who are in 7th. Which means the T’s are last again, foiled by the pearl pots and the rowing, but certainly not by their determination, even while whining and amusing me to no end. Their ride into the sunset, holding hands, was pretty sweet.

A very stern looking Phil (who has been kept waiting some time as, from the setting of the sun, they get in much later than the girls) informs the T’s they have been eliminated. (Where are the non elimination rounds? Maybe there are none, but if they have them all at the end, well, I hate that.) And a very exhausting but brilliant leg is finally over.

Next week….alligator wrestling! And more Sarah Buying Big Clues.

You know, I’d almost start to think Peter’s just getting a raw edit, because no one is that big of an ass…but no.

So….four legs, four different winners. And a very tough race that doesn’t rely on bunching and luck, but actual, you know, racing strategy and skills. I think this is my favorite season ever, in terms of race structure. Keep it up, Jerry!

Don’t forget to vote for this week’s SHaQ Attack - see Monday’s post for clues. Right now, Brodie and Tag are neck and neck. Well, some body part, I’m sure…anyway.

And tomorrow I’m guest blogging at Brava Authors!

For all you Amazing Phil Phans, which team do you think will win? Which team do you want to win? And how many ways have you dreamed up to hurt Peter?

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Okay, so who replaced my Steelers with pod people? Please give them back now, the fun and games are over.

A little Monday Morning MAC….

So, after trudging back from Tribal Council, we learn that Ozzy really hates being the tribe’s new…uh, Billy. Yeah, being on the outside feels great, doesn’t it Oz? At least he probably won’t claim a delusional love alliance with, say, Sundra. I did feel bad for Cecilia.

Day 9 -

Candice is back at Aitu and everyone bags on her about why the other team saved her from tribal. She plays dumb. This does not seem to be a real stretch for Candice.

Over on Raro, the guys are kicking back and letting the women do all the domestic chores. They’re also feelng smug in their massively buff man power vs Aitu’s. Have these guys never watched the show? History shows this mindset never pays, dudes.

Off we go to Reward Challenge - This the one where two members are chained to each other and the rest of their team has to get them through the over-under course drill. Then there is some swimming and some decoding. All for blankets, pillows, hammock, etc and the right to send someone from losing team to Exile Isle. The race is neck and neck…until Aitu takes the late lead. Raro catches up on the decoding wheel, but in the end, Aitu still wins. They send Adam to EI. He will be back in time for Immunity Challenge and TC.

Pretty whale footage, then back at Aitu, the team revels in their win. In other news, Flicka is still an airhead. Ozzy is a Mad Fisherman (but is it me, or do they have a much easier access to food this year? I, for one, don’t mind that so much. Because starving, barfing castaways? Aren’t much fun to watch.)

Over on Raro - HA! Karma is a swiftly retaliating bitch, eh buff, can’t-lose dudes? Yeah.

And yet the smugness continues in the form of the buff men lording it over the women on their own tribe. I sigh, shake my head. JP? Yeah, I’m going to enjoy your smackdown when it comes. And Parvati? Your flirting skills? Not All That, missy. I mean, Nate? Come on, not exactly the biggest mountain to conquer, if you know what I mean. He even tries to be self aware, but his doom is so sealed. Altho, if these two can actually pull off a JP dethroning? Eternal love. Yeah. Like that will happen.

Rainbows….and it’s Day 11 at Aitu.

Cai Boi is an ass and brings on some really harsh karma by basically attacking a mama bird and all but killing her new born baby. Jonathan earns a little good Donna karma by feeling like a total shit for being any part of it, and they put the nest back together and help baby and mama reunite. Yes, you are stupid Cai Boi. Next time the kid in you wants to play, put the kid in time out, okay?

Immunity Challenge Time with another Maze of Tribemate Torture. Men everywhere drool over a handcuffed Candice and Parvati, but the castaways are too busy trying to not go to Tribal Council to be all Maxim photo spread about it. The teams, for all their physical imbalances keep things pretty close. Ozzy kicks JP’s ass at, well, pretty much everything, which I love more than I can say. I would love an Aitu win here, just to see the Raro Pretty Boy’s bite it twice in one night and on a physical challenge to boot….Ozzy gets major points for busting his ass as an “outsider” and making sure they think twice about getting rid of him. Not a Billy after all. Golf clap, Oz. Cai Boi gets a little of his mojo back with his Dance of Fire and it looks like the Pretty Boys Team are goin’ to Tribal. So much for all the dominance, dudes. HA! squared.

Day 11 at Raro…

A dispirited buff boys tribe returns to camp. I would love them if they send JP or Adam home. I’m thinking it can’t happen, but man….it would be sweet to watch. Then Stephannie stands right up and offers herself up as the weakest link. Girl, you got no game. So the team decides to show her the same game and tell her she’s the one going home. Yeah, whatever. But! There is the tiniest glimmer of hope when the rest of the Girl Power alliance tries to get their game on…..which I would love like no other, but, yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it. So of course, stupid flirty girl Parvati won’t go for it, because her whole strength is her flirt strategy and she can’t do that if she votes out her quarry right? Sigh. Then Jenny really goes full tilt GP and tries to recruit Brad because everyone can see what part of Parvati’s body she thinks with. So….will he, won’t he?

Tribal Council…everyone makes fairly astute comments, except Adam who just sits there and looks like….well, Adam. But then, I’m pretty sure he’s used to that being the only thing required of him. JP is actually saying things that make me feel bad about what I hope happens to him tonight, but….you know, not completely. It’s less eye candy I could live with.

Jeff reads the votes….Stephannie, then JP, 2 for Steph, 2 for JP, 3 for JP, ooooh, 4 JP. Then it was 5. Wow, even Adam votes against JP? Dang, Jenny girl, your game is pretty damn fine. JP goes home in the Most Shocking Rose Ceremony–wait, wrong show. Anyway, YEAH BABY! I love that. He had NO idea. Sure, he might be a good guy at core, but dude, maybe next time you should get up and DO something instead of sitting your throne and handing out orders, you big, good looking schlub. Jeff comments on how they voted off the strong guy, but, uh, Aitu seems to be pulling it off with a way worse physical imbalance than Raro still has, so I wouldn’t be so worried. But guys? You might want to step it up and, you know, help around the campfire a little bit, if you know what I mean. Ah hahahahahhaha.

Next week? Looks like the Aitu Princesses are in store for a little Reverse Raro. Because no one ever seems to learn anything from watching past seasons. I scratch my head.

Okay, now on to this week’s SHaQ Attack contest question, which is: If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one of my heroes, who would it be? The castaway hero with the most votes could win his Blog Babe a free book. Winner’s name drawn on Friday. Send an email with your pick to donna@donnakauffman.com with “Stranded!” in the subject line.

Me, I want to be stranded with that guy from Men in Trees, but I guess he doesn’t count. Dangit.

Happy Columbus Day Sales to everyone!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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This week’s question was: Who was the medical professional in one of my books and what was the job title?

The correct answer was: Christy Russell, ICU nurse from my Harlequin Temptation, Carried Away.

(FYI - ER Dr Matt Walker from Men of Courage was not in my novella, sorry folks! )

And the winner of a copy of Carried Away is Blog Babe Angie T! Woo hoo, way to go, Angie!

So, I went to my first Grey’s Party last night. It was an okay episode, but fun to watch with friends. Not as much with the interesting cases, but moving a lot of story lines a little bit further. I enjoyed McDreamy and McVet trying to one up each other and Meredith’s little soliloquy on what she’d hoped dating would really be like. (Dream on.) McSteamy checks in (with a big YAY from me,) Callie checks out, and Izzy stands still. Loved Cristina’s version of supportive partner with the cleaver in the chicken. But what was up with Burke’s hair? It looked glued on or something. Odd. Bailey was wonderful as usual, and crying Addison in the closet was my favorite scene. I know we’re not supposed to, but I honestly like her.

And yes, all of this means I didn’t get to watch Survivor, but I will over the weekend, so look for some Columbus Day Monday MAC on that one.

I hope you all have a great holiday weekend. It’s gotten chillier here, so I can finally pull out the sweaters. Which also means hot cocoa will also make a return in my house soon. Mmmmm. It’s great curling up with a good book weather, too. I’m currently curled up with Christina Dodd’s Trouble in High Heels.

What are you reading?

Tags: Writing by Donna
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