Who gets the Glitter Ball Trophy of Cheesy Goodness? We find out tonight!

Hi Tom! Sam, Sam, Sam….you’re a lovely girl, but you just don’t do the ballgown thing. Cleats and a baseball hat? Yes. Red lipstick and diamonds? Not so much. Pass them my way, will ya? (What? I can wear diamonds.)

We’re having an encore tonight, whoa! I guess the votes are in now, so it doesn’t matter, but I’m thrilled they picked Cheryl and Emmitt’s Samba. (Tossing them a bone perhaps? Say it ain’t so!) I’m just happy to get to see them dance one last time. Whee!

Ahhhh……both teams get an encore tonight. I’m guessing from their outfits, they’re doing their freestyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I’m going to miss this enough, that I’m happy for as much dancing as they want to give me tonight. Aaaaaand, yep, it’s the freestyle. (I still say Karina needs a little help with her flygirl wardrobe choices.)

Yay, we get a Tysonia update! She really changed such a great deal. So uplifting. Wonderful job, Tysonia!

With an hour to fill, we get a review from week to week. We get to see as, one by one, they each head home. Tucker, then Shanna, Harry, and Vivica. And! Surprise! They’re all back to give us an encore. (Poor Tucker. Well, poor us, too.) But fun to see them all again!

With the cha cha cha, it’s Tucker and Elena. He puts it out there. Scary, but he does it. Golf clap for Tucker. (But I’m a sucker for a guy with a great sense of humor.) Shanna and Jesse do the mambo. (Shanna, you have a partner. And he’s hot. Don’t leave him in the dust like that.) Who’s idea was it to put a mambo to Jump, Jump? Stoned Music Guy? You won’t be missed. Wooo, Harry lookin’ fine in tails. Seeing as he’s going on the tour, I’m interested to see how he’s improved. To the quickstep (aka trial by fire) here they are. He’s not as stiff, but still….just not a natural rhythmic bone in his body, bless his heart. But he certainly looked like he was having a lot more fun out there. And I love Ashley (who just got married! Woo hoo!) Big golf clap for Harry! Lastly we have Nick and Vivica doing the paso doble. (Again, someone take the doobie away from the music guy. Bon Jovi? Really?) They looked wonderful, though, having such a great time. Nice to see them out there again. You do really realize, though, just how far the latter teams have come when you see the teams that stopped earlier on.

And - YAY! - Willa is back so that means, yes, MORE MAKS. Sara is also back (which, I know, nice to see her, but if you quit, do you really get to come back? I guess it would be too cruel, given all she’s going through, to make a stink. Easier just to be nice, and invite her, and I agree, I do…. I think I’ve been around Karlyn too long or something…)

Willa and Maks dance their rumba (and totally make my night.) Watching them, you realize how ridiculous it was that she went home so early. Loved it. Sara and Tony reprise their jive, which was far and away her best dance. She looks really good and happy and relaxed. Okay, so it’s nice to see her back. Sheesh. Jerry and Kym give us their samba and make me smile. Hi Jerry! Monique and Louis(!) are back and smokin the floor with their jive. They look wonderful. Possibly the most fun I’ve seen Monique really have. Amazing the difference it makes when it’s not a competition any longer. They looked fantastic! And yay, it’s Joey and Edyta, back with their singin’ in the rain fox trot. It was really wonderful seeing everyone again. I’m going to miss this show. The crowd cheers throughout Joey’s entire number.
The ending with all the couples was nice.

We get behind the scenes with family. Emmitt’s wife is so lovely. Mario’s mom. No. But Elizabeth Berkley, from Saved By the Bell! Reunion! Rodney Peete…squee! (Football!) Ryan Seacrest….is it almost time for Idol??? Hi Ryan! Eva Longoria…don’t you have a television show to film somewhere? George Lopez, same goes. (Cute comment though.) Where are all Emmitt’s friends? This is very Mario heavy here. Whee, Roger Staubach! Troy Aikman! (I take it all back. ) Yay, Emmitt’s mom! Proud Mary, indeed. And proud sister, too. What a smile that man has.

You know, at this point, it’s really a draw to me. I mean, they both did everything they could do and made it to the end. I say, give em both glitter ball trophies of dollar store goodness, come on!

Okay, I want an Emmitt. How great a friend is that guy? You get the feeling that, as a man, a father, and a friend, he really did bring something to Cheryl’s life. She mentions more than once the great advice he’s given her, which tells me she’s turned to him for help with things off the dance floor and I think you couldn’t ask for a better mentor. Very cool friendship there. Standing O you two.

Mario and Karina’s path… yeah, a bit sleazier. lol Sorry. (And is it me, or is everyone else just tired of the way he says her name? I know, it’s an accented name. But he’s not accenting any other words and it just sounds so incredibly contrived to me. There, rant off my chest. It’s been bugging me for weeks.) He’s her castle. She’s his…friend. Whatever. (She’s telling him he’s forever and he’s going “this has been great, see ya!” Smarten up, K.) I cried when Cheryl cried. No tears for this interview. Sorry. (I know, Karlyn, get out of my head!)

Aaaaand, we finally get to the trophy!

After 10 weeks of competition…..it’s EMMITT & CHERYL!!!! Damn straight, y’all!!! Their reaction was perfect! And you could tell, he was happier to give her two wins in a row, than he was to win himself. I love those two! Cheryl is just overwhelmed. It’s so sweet. His family is going nuts. And his smile is even brighter if possible. (On a side note, Mario looks at his mom and shrugs, but it’s good natured.) Emmitt is thrilled. (But dang, did you see Karina’s bitch face while Emmitt was going on about how wonderful she and Mario were? Not happy to lose, that one. ) His speech to Mario was wonderful. He is a true champion in every way.

And shoot! My tivo cuts out just as Emmitt is trying to make Cheryl take the trophy. Someone, fill me in! (He said in an interview a few days ago that if they won, he’d melt it down and make championship rings for the two of them to rival any super bowl ring. Cracked me up.)

Well, for me, that was a most satisfying ending to a really fun season! Whatever will we blog about mid-week??

What did you all think???

Don’t forget, your last day to enter the SHaQ Attack contest. See Monday’s blog for details!

Have a great Thursday everyone! Tomorrow….Survivor MAC and finally, a sneak peek!

Tags: Writing by Donna
13 Comments »

Aaaaaaaand, it’s the finals!

We open the show with a loooooong retrospective about how everybody got to where they are and blah blah blah dancecakes….let’s move on shall we?

In the first of three dances Emmitt and Mario will perform this evening, they begin with the head to head. Both pairs will dance to the same tune. Len tells us they chose Stevie’s Sir Duke as it works for a multitude of dance styles. However, both teams choose samba. So we get the same dance style, same music, each with their own choreo.

Emmitt and Cheryl are first, which makes me nervous because I want Emmitt to win, so I want his to be the last thing people remember, especially going up against Mario. But, it’s not to be. They come out and I’m a little worried at first as it just seems okay, not wow. But it turns into wow and the crowd loves it. (Okay, the crowd is collectively on crack juice tonight, so that’s not saying much. They started screaming when Tom said “good evening and welcome to Dancing with the Stars” and then never stopped. The only good part was when they completely drowned Sam out. Crackjuice Drinkers Unite!)

Where was I? Right…Emmitt and Cheryl’s samba. So…it was fun and definitely picked up momentum as it went along. The judges were all gushy…and the scores? But first, Hi George Hamilton! Hi Stacy Kiebler! 10, 10, 10 =30 (which, to be perfectly honest, I thought was 9’s. So…does this mean the judges are going where they went last week and leaving it up to the audience? Mebbe so.) Sam? Please. Just stop. Someone take her mic away, will ya? (Could she be pimping them any harder? Maybe the judges are slanting for Emmitt because they think they have to give him a fighting chance against Super Mario. I think they underestimate Emmitt’s fan base.)

Mario and Karina’s turn. (I do like her in that short red wig.) Surprisingly, they were a little off at first. And Mario is trying sooooo hard, he’s almost stiff or kind of jerky in his motions. Weird. But still super Mario. Totally playing the audience and cameras, way more than even he usually does (which is under the category of Really Saying Something.) He was only really into it when he got to boogie and not samba. Otherwise he became tippy toe man again. Anyway, I was underwhelmed as to my expectations from him, and he by no means blew Emmitt off the floor, far from it and surprisingly so, but it was certainly a great dance nonetheless.

Judges? Carrie Ann seems to think his over playing to the audience/camera was actually him relaxing and enjoying himself. I thought it was anything but. It was almost manic. Only when he got to get his MJ on did he really dig it. Which was not much of the routine. But, your mileage may vary. Len compliments them on the level of difficulty, then points out they did make some mistakes (seeee?) but I bet they get a 9 from him, so yawn. Bruno thought it was scintillating. Scores? 10, 9, 10 for 29 (no shock and again, I think it should be 9, 9, 9 anyway.)

Round Two…. each couple reprises their personal favorite routine.

Emmitt and Cheryl give us an encore of their mambo. I love this because they actually got latin music. I think they upped the tempo because this? Is starting out fast! Love it. (Yes, I’m biased. I want him to win. Deal with it. So, apparently, do the judges. I can live with that, too. ) Dang, that was smokin. If the first one was a 30, this is 30 to a higher power. Whew!

Judges? Bruno says he’s empowered and gushes as only Bruno can. Carrie Ann says he’s a master of technique and charisma. Len applauds Emmitt, and then rightfully (thank you!) gives a huge round of credit to Cheryl. MVP - most valuable partner. Has to be a 30 - this one earned. Scores? 10, 10, 10 - 30. I’m all for that one and they are delightfully excited and humble. But really….take the mic away from her. NOW.

Mario and Karina give us their paso doble. A 29 the first time around, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess they get a 30. Just a prediction. (Oh yeah, earlier? During the Road to the Finals clip package? They totally blew the whistle on these two and aired major lip lock action during their rehearsals. Yeah yeah, don’t act surprised. We all knew.) And Mario’s mother? Total stage mother syndrome. She scares me. Aaaaand, here we go…okay, he’s still Mr Tippy Toes in a huge Joey Lawrence kinda way (maybe it’s a tribute, I don’t know) but I’ll have to get over it, because in every other way, they are totally bringing it. And yet…as I watch, maybe Mario’s really nervous, because he looks really kind of studied, over perfectionizing (new word alert) every motion and move. It’s just not natural looking. He’s got it all over Emmitt in actual skill level in terms of technique, but Emmitt makes it look real. Mario makes it look manic android-y. (Boy, the new words, they just keep coming.) Boy can kick, though, I’ll give him that. And the last thirty seconds were amazing.

Judges? Len says it was full of fire and passion. Bruno calls him the latin thunder bolt (it’s Bruno, what do you want) and Carrie Ann says it was beyond perfection and his lines were fabulous. Yeah. Whatever. (What?) Scores? (Oh please with the better man line. Another guy? I’d have been in full swoon. Not you.) 10, 10, 10 for 30 (and yeah, earned.)

Last Round….freestyle. Woot!

Emmitt and Cheryl…I can’t wait to see this. This is where we got the Ride a Cowboy from Cheryl last year. Lord only knows what she came up with this time. We’re about to find out. They choose MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This. Which? Yes! Perfect for Emmitt. But first, hi Drew! Squee! Aaaand, here we go… Okay…so Emmitt gets his Hammer on pretty damn good. Cheryl? Not so sure. What’s with the super girl boots? It was alternately really fun and….not so much. Sorry, I’m biased, yes, but not blind. It was cool and fun….but it wasn’t Ride A Cowboy. I think maybe there’s no way she could recreate that magic, but this was still pretty cool. Just too much side by side same repetitive step. And the lifts were kind of awkward, maybe too ambitious. (except the one with just one arm between her legs. That was pretty damn amazing.) And did I mention the boots? And the weird length to her skirt? Her outfit was distracting and not in an Edyta good way. But when Emmitt was Hammer Time-ing his very fine behind off? Yeah. That was awesome fun.

Judges? (peeks through fingers..) Carrie Ann totally channels me in the one arm lift. She also loved the whole thing more than I did, but, you know I’ll watch it again. (Just to be fair and all….) Len says he’s done such a great job the whole season and loved the icing on the cake. Bruno says he was the hammer, chisel, and shovel. (You gotta love this guy. No. You do.) But he does crack on them, so they can get the obligatory 9 from one judge to tie the thing up. (Did I predict this? I believe I did.) Ooooh, then Carrie Ann challenges Brumo to a lift duel. You go CA! Loved that. Scores? 10, 10, 9 for 29 (which was SO contrived, but sure, whatever. I’ll take it, because, frankly, it should be a 27, but still, be more convincing when you throw points, Bruno.)

Mario and Karina freestyle and if Emmitt channeled Hammer, you just know Mario won’t be able to resist getting his MJ on. Only it’s tired, Mario. We get it. Channel something new. So, okay, they toss MJ out and go totally old school, which is where Mario’s childhood training comes into play. (He was a dancer on a kids show called Kids Inc. What, you didn’t know? Yeah, total ringer.) Anyway - Karina tries to outdo Cheryl in the most unflattering dance outfit ever and almost succeeds. Yeah, she wins. What is that tent o’ fringe you’re wearing? And the lace up…things? Mario however finally looks completely at home. No more tippy toes, no more herky jerky. This is his style of dance and it shows. Their lifts aren’t the showcases Cheryl/Emmitt’s were, in fact, they only did two, and one was the ending, so no dismount, but Mario so owned the dance, it wasn’t missed. All in all…it wasn’t Ride a Cowboy either. I’d say they were about even, but I’m predicting a total 30 in their immediate future.

Judges? Bruno says it was a hit parade onthe dance floor. Carrie Ann says it was her favorite of the season. Len says it was oscar worthy. (Someone, take Lenny’s happy juice away.) Well, the 30 is a foregone conclusion, but if they were trying to help a brother out, they just took it away and basically gave the title to Mario. We’ll see. Scores? 10, 10, 10 for 30. Buzzkill Sam tries to burst their bubble talking about the future apart. Mario deflects well. So…Sam doesnt’ take the hint and goes after Karina. (Microphone? Off. Now. Sheesh.) I don’t even like these two, but I wanted Karina to take the mic and smack Sam in in the head with it. I’d have cheered for them like I never have all season.

Okay…I tried to vote for Emmitt off and on during the show and after and got a busy signal every time. I hope that means good things.

Winner is crowned…tonight! (Whatever will we blog about next week? Our shows are leaving us. Pout. New shows! We want new shows!)

Happy Hump Day everyone! (And don’t forget to play SHaQ Attack! See Monday’s post for all the details.)

Tags: Writing by Donna
6 Comments »

So, I’m working on the next Black Sheep book, which is going along well, but alternately like pulling teeth and having the best day ever. Lately, I’m losing teeth, if you know what I mean. So I decide I need a break. All work and no play is making me nutty. (Hey, I heard that!) Anyway, I have this fantabulous pile of books beckoning me, so what to take my break with is obvious. But I find I can’t read them. Not because they’re not fantabulous books by even more fantabulous authors, they are. Maybe too much so. I just find I can’t sink into a good story and clutter my head with someone else’s people when I’m trying to evolve and create my own people. It’s very annoying actually.

This is where my magazine addiction comes in handy. Magazines are like fast food, and about as nutritious, (well, the ones I read anyway…) but they tide you over in times of need. Do I really care that Britney is finally divorcing her scum of a husband? No. Do I need to know that Justin Timberlake is working with Duran Duran? Not really. (But, Simon LeBon and JT? Squee!) Ahem. Would I lose sleep if I didn’t know the burning reason behind why Cameron Diaz really wants a nose job? Well…only if she dishes about what it’s like to date Justin Timberlake, but I digress.

The main ingredient here is short articles about non-fictional people, with pretty, splashy photos to keep me entertained (ooooh, bright shiny object!) that don’t clutter up the fictional side of my brain. And in that way, they’re very good at what they do and I thank them.

And yet…there sits those lovely books. Books calling me to pick them up, prop them open and dive in. Dive in to something substantial, something transporting, something that will linger with me longer than Reese Witherspoon’s marriage. So, like Charlie Brown and the football, I keep trying. And one of the things I discovered was that, if I read outside my genre then I have better luck with the non-cluttering thing. So I reluctantly put aside Some Nerve by Jane Heller (and stepped away from the latest issue of US Weekly) and picked up one of my favorite authors, Brad Meltzer’s latest intrigue, Book of Fate. And ahhhhhh…….I can read again! So much better to have steak instead of a fast food burger. (Although, have no fear burgers…you’ll never be entirely replaced. I’m weak like that.)

What’s diverting you these days?

Tags: Writing by Donna
4 Comments »

So, Amazing Race tricked us last night! We had Phil! In Mud! And Phil! Underground! In a red hardhat! It was a lot of Cute Phil! And, you know, racing.

Five teams left…BQ’s are in first, followed by the Models, Romberly, Cho’s, and Bama.

Teams leave Madagascar for…Finland - woo hoo! Teams are each given airline tickets along with their first clue as they depart the Amazing Bathmat, but that flight doesn’t leave until late that evening, so everyone gets on an earlier flight.

Everyone is all, oooh, Finland, finally not a third world country…except, if they only knew. This? Leg from hell. But in a very entertaining way for all of us at home. Thank you, Race Planners! Smooches! Best season in quite some time.

Once in Finland, they have to find a coffee house, where everyone gets some email from home…and directions to get their next clue from the coffee house owner. Everyone ends up on the same train out to the countryside town of Tampir. Then comes the taxi stand wrangling where various teams beg the people already in the taxi queue to let them butt in line. Most teams just grab cabs and take them from people (yes, Bama, I’m looking at you, line jumpers!) while the Cho’s get stiffed because, well, sometimes being polite sucks.

Everyone races to a school with a marked field course, The BQ’s and Models are neck and neck in the front of the pack, with Romberly and Line Jumpers Bama just behind, and the Polite Cho Bros bringing up the rear. It’s quite the jog down the marked path, trying to find the field, and everyone is running. It’s five teams, one million dollars on the line, no time to take any chances on strolling it.

Everyone ditches their backpacks and heads to the clue box, where we learn about the Detour…..Swamp This…or Swamp That. Aaaaaand, we get mud wrestling Phil! Well, I’d wrestle him anyway. Chest deep in mud and hip green hip waders, Phil explains the grueling tasks they have to choose from. Both are obstacle course type things, set up side by side, played by Finland’s Olympic athletes to stay in shape during the warmer months. I tell ya, I’m not sure which one I’d have taken, they both were tough. And am I the only ones who laughed at the BQ’s trying not to get dirty? On the mud course? Yeah. Lots of dragging, crawling, carrying of partners, and just plain getting stuck in waist deep muck ensues.

BQ’s and Bama take the cross country ski through the mud course. Models , Chos and Romberly take the obstacle mud course. Gotta give Kim props for being the only woman who does the obstacle course. It wasn’t easy. Not that skiing was much easier. Surprised Rob did the threshold carry instead of piggy backing her.

It’s a race to the clue box. The obstacle coursers got done first, as a rule, but their legs are toast from plowing through hip deep mud. The skiiers took longer, but had more energy for the run across the field to the clue box. The Models get there first, followed by the BQ’s.

Another train ride 150 miles, followed by a 75 by car to the town of Lohja to a limestone mine. The models take the time to change clothes before leaving because, well, they’re all disgusting. The BQ’s who aren’t as disgusting, but only partly, decide to climb in muck and all and change on the train. I know it saves time, but ew. Romberly is in third, with Bama and the Chos at the back of the pack. (Big shock.)

BQ’s/Models make the 3:11 train. Romberly busts ass….and watches the train pull from the station just as they hit the platform. This didn’t bother me, because, you know, Romberly, but how frustrating. They’re sacked by an hour, leaving all three remaining teams on the next train. Romberly makes no friends by being party train poopers, but then, from what I understand, they’re not all that nice. Interviews with Mary and Dave after their Philimination last week reveals they are friendly and in touch with every single team from the race….except Romberly. So…I guessing Peter wasn’t the only, well, Peter on the race.

BQ’s and Models get to the limestone mine first (duh) but the models grab the first tram down underground, making the BQ’s wait for it to come back up. We get Phil! Underground! In a hardhat! Telling us about the Road Block. One member of each team has to bicycle way down in the mine, pick up a small limestone boulder size rock, strap it to their bike, and hoof it back up the steep incline out. Then they have to bust open the rock, pull out the tube inside,where they will find their next instructions. It’s dark, scary, and steep.

James takes it for the Models. I still can’t tell the BQ’s apart, so who knows. She’s blonde. James is back out and smashing his block as the other BQ finally struggles up the incline. Meanwhile, in the car race from hell, all three remaining teams jockey to get to the limestone mine first, with Romberly being even bigger asses than Bama, all fired up to Win This Thing…only to not pay any attention to where they are going and promptly get lost. I loved this part. Bama and the Chos find the mine and take the tram down together. Karlyn and Erwin do the roadblock. Everyone but Romberly comments on how much Dave would have loved this task. Awwww, we miss you Dave!

Romberly finds the mine and are hot on the Cho’s and Bama’s heels. Rob takes the task and is a complete ass all the way down and back up the mine shaft. Again, not a huge shock. I want them to leave the race. Now, preferably.

The BQ’s and the Models get their next clue, which tells them to go to the Olympic Stadium. They are all psyched to be going to the pit stop. Neither team manages to realize that it says nothing about Pit Stop on their clue. Yeah. Ahahahahahhaa.

A struggling Karlyn tells Godwin to go ahead of her. Rob beats Karlyn out of the mine as well. But all three teams end up on the tram car heading up out of the mine. They are pumped to get to their cars and race to the Pit Stop. (Does ANYone read their clues?) I mean, I know the drill, one Detour, one Roadblock, Pit Stop. But…not always. If it’s the Pit Stop, it says so. Much fun!

Everyone is racing to the Pit Stop That Isn’t…and when the Models get to the Stadium, they waste time running around inside, only to realize they missed the flag on the outside taking them to a small office, where they get their clue telling them they have to go up to the top of the tower. It’s a reallllllly tall tower, btw. At the top….they find no Phil, but another task. And this one? Would have lost me the million.

Yeah, after the mud, and the mine….they want them to repel down this very tall, very skinny tower— FACE FIRST. Backwards? I might have overcome my fear of heights, as I could have stared at the wall in front of me and just pretended I wasn’t dangling a million feet in the air by ropes. Face First? You can’t hide. Eeeeek!

Tyler goes first and is totally “Dude, this is freaking me out” all the way down. Not much fazes Tyler, so this just proves my point. James goes next, more or less dangling all the way down. The BQ’s are on the way up the tower and seeing the boys repel, realize this ain’t no stinkin Pit Stop. The other three teams are barreling toward the stadium and…..

The Models open their clue at the bottom of the tower and the clue says? Keep On Racing.

HA!! I LOVE this show.

Tune in next week, where Killer Fatigue finally starts to really kick in. And you guys thought Europe would be easier. Snicker.

Now…on to the Vote for Losers SHaQ Attack contest from last week. Joey went home on Dancing, and Raro lost a tribe member in a very satisfying episode (right up to tribal council anyway) and no one went home on Amazing Race. So those of you who voted Joey and/or Raro were tossed into the mix…..and Blog Babe Cathy Mac , was our big winner!! Woo hoo, Cathy!!

Thanks everyone for playing along!

This week’s SHaQ Attack is all about family connections. With the Thanksgiving holiday soon upon us, I thought it would be fun to SHaQ about family. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to name one family I’ve done a multi-book series about. Multi-book means at least two books, connected by family members. Email me at donna@donnakauffman.com with “It’s a Family Affair” in the subject line, and the name of the family in the body of the email. I will draw one winner from all entries on Friday.

Also - next week being the holiday, I will be blogging Monday-thru-Wednesday, and then taking a holiday break until the folllowing Monday. SHaQ will be taking a break next week as well, but will be back as usual the following Monday. So dive in and go for it this week!

Happy Monday everyone.

Tags: Writing by Donna
11 Comments »

Blog Babes are rockin’ the vote this week. Joey going home on Wednesday night shuffled a few of you into the pool for the free book drawing, but last night’s Survivor results had a whole bunch o’ blog babes moving to the winning team side. (Who knew so many of you had it in for Raro?) Now we wait for Sunday’s Raaaaaaace results to see if any more of you can join the fun…and come Monday I’ll pick a winner from the pack.

If you haven’t voted, you can still get in the running for a free book by sending me your vote for Sunday’s Philimination - see Tuesday’s blog for details! You have until 8 pm tomorrow to enter your last vote.

Speaking of Survivor, THAT? Was reallllllllly satisfying. Well, right up until the very, very last part. Possibly one of the most satisfying episodes of the season. I love it when Karman has a field day. She fell an eensy bit short there at the end, but I’m confident she’ll finish the job at some point.

So..this is what went down.

Whilst Ozzy sleeps, Jonathan pulls the rest of Aitu together and plots and schemes that the six of them are totally going all the way, even after the merge. They (meaning he) agrees Oz is the next to go, and they enter the merge strong and united. Candice, however, interviews that she’s not as keen on keeping them together at the merge, as she wants to flip sides and rejoin Adam and Parvati once they merge.

Jonathan, always trying to think ten steps ahead, pulls Candice aside and makes sure she’s aware that its really the two of them, all the way. She talks about flipping sides once they merge and Jonathan goes along, making sure she understands he is completely loyal to her. Candice interviews again that while it’s nice and all, that Jonathan wants to be final two buddies, she really doesn’t want him tagging along and would vote his ass off the first chance she gets. Ruthless Candice. Girl is playing her own game. I hope everyone figures out she’s in it for herself (which is funny, considering that’s her fear of Jonathan, that he’s in it for himself and isn’t trustworthy. Hello, pot?)

As it happens, everyone on both teams finds out exactly how mercenary Candice really is at the reward challenge. Before it begins, Jeff gives everyone on both teams a chance to switch sides.

Now, I didn’t expect Candice to be stupid enough to expose herself so soon. I did, however, expect Brad to leap at the chance to jump sides, since not only has his tribe at Raro made it clear he’s next on the chopping block, but he hasn’t done anything to help that situation, making it clear to them that he doesn’t trust them and will jump into Yul’s welcoming embrace the minute the merge happens. (But then, who wouldn’t? Yumm.)

So, color me surprised when Brad remains true to Raro, and in the last second, Candice jumps ship…and then Jonathan has a freak out and jumps off the mat right behind her. (Which didn’t thrill anyone, least of all Candice.)

The remaining four Aitu members stand there looking stunned and not a little hurt, at being abandoned by the guy who had just exhorted to them about sticking together to the end. Not to mention shifting the odds so that it’s now an 8 person team vs a 4 person team. They looked so vulnerable standing there on their mat. My heart went out to them. (Well, mostly to Yul, but, you know, he needed a hug and I would have volunteered. I’m all selfless like that.)

So, still reeling….Jeff announces the reward challenge will begin. And it’s a pretty tough one, physically, with putting teammates in a barrel which gets both rolled, banged around, and floated. But it’s a pretty good reward they’re playing for this time. Not no stinkin’ tarp and a few hooks, no. They’re playing for breakfast pastries, coffee….and letters and photos from home. Big motivation.

Raro picks 4 of their 8 to play. Aitu has to play the 4 they got. And? Aitu kicks Raro’s very sorry ass and totally takes reward in what had to be one of the most satisfying challenge finishes ever. I LOVED it. Yul, Ozzy, Becky, and Sundra deserved every last sticky bun and childhood photo for sticking it to Raro. (Not that Raro encouraged the defection of two of their teammates, but they always want to beat Raro, so it was particularly satisfying to beat Raro + 2. Especially when the +2 are your lousy, faithless former teammates.)

Even more satisfying, they get to send Candice to Exile, so she can’t play with her new teammates until the Immunity Challenge. Which leaves Jonathan in the lovely position of trying to defend to his new tribe why he abandoned his old tribe. (One thing I wasn’t really clear on - it seemed like Raro was really jumping all over Jonathan for his ruthless switch of teams, but none of them seemed willing to paint Candice with the same brush. Have no idea why, unless it was just edited for us to hear those comments and not the same ones about Candice, as it suited last night’s story arc. which it did. Still…color me confused.)

So…over on Raro, big talk of who would get voted off next. The plan was for it to be Brad. But now the strong argument is pretty much Jonathan. Which certainly made the most sense to me. The deciding factor there seemed to be that, in a merge, Jonathan pretty much has to stick with his new tribe, whereas Brad would probably jump ship. However, given the chance, Brad did stay with Raro, so they’re torn on his loyalty potential. Good gaming there and interesting to watch. (And yet, not a word about voting Candice off. Who did the same thing Jonathan did. Hunh.)

Over on Aitu, we have much rejoicing and sticky bun eating. Also a lot of crying. I admit I got all teary eyed, too. They were so grateful and so happy to have pulled off the major upset with just the four of them, they were perma-bonded as a family and a team in that one challenge. I totally felt every word Sundra had to say about how vulnerable she felt after the mutiny, and how gratifying it was to pull out the win. You got that right, Sundra. (And did I see it right? Is her son deaf? I’m pretty sure I saw her signing back to a picture of her young son signing something to her.) Anyway…most gratifying reward challenge ever. And Yul? Please, never put on a shirt again. Dang.

So I’m officially totally 100% f0r Aitu now. I want those four to do anything and everything they have to, to make it to the end. Yul, Oz, Becky and Sundra…any one of you takes this, and I will be thrilled.

On to the Immunity Challenge, now I’m sweating bullets just like the rest of them. With the newly tightly bonded Aitu family unit, I can’t even stand thinking they’d have to end up at tribal and vote one of themselves off, after what they just went through. So I’m on the edge of my seat through this challenge, which was actually pretty cool - I’m loving the whole pirate theme this year - wishing, hoping, praying, Aitu can pull it out again.

For a bit, it looks like Raro is going to drop their cannon balls on the underwater targets and pull ahead. Then wonderful Yul figures out he can peek through the cannon ball chute and figure out exactly when to release the ball. And they swiwftly take a lead that Raro can’t possibly regain….and? Most rewarding immunity challenge ever, as Aitu takes the win, and Raro heads to tribal council. (Blog Babes around the world celebrate, as almost every single one of you voted for Raro to lose a member.)

Candice must now spend every waking second campaigning her new tribe to vote off anyone other her newly arrived, lethal playing self. She quickly re-bonds with Parvati and Adam…and totally sells Jonathan down the river to both of them. Ruthless. And, to me, shortsighted. She knows Jonathan will stick with them, at least for awhile. I’d have gone after Brad. But she’s been on exile and doesn’t know the vibe of the tribe and has very little time to play catchup.

At tribal council, Brad stupidly puts his foot the rest of the way in his mouth, although he was only speaking the truth, and really, it was too late by then anyway. Jonathan is pleasantly stunned when everyone on Raro, new and old, votes Brad off. (Dude, you should have totally jumped when you had the chance. Aitu would have welcomed you with open arms.) And while I would have loved to see Jonathan go and finish the karmic loop…we say goodbye to Brad instead.

But!! Final Twist of the Night! As Brad makes his exit, Jeff announces they’ve just voted off the first member of the jury! Oooooooooh!! Love. It. Brad still has power in the game. Very satisfying. Jeff tells them just because they’ve done things a certain way in past seasons, like not starting the jury pool until later in the game, doesn’t mean they won’t change things up this season. This was a change up I could totally get behind. Brad was kind of happy about it, too.

Satisfying episode, all the way around. Jonathan? I want you gone next. And Candice? You’re a tough player…and ruthless. If they’re smart, they’ll get rid of you as soon as possible. Aitu? You guys rock. I hope you make a run and knock off Raro one by one. And after your former teammates are gone, I hope Nate is the next one after that. Boy needs spanked. I hated what he did to Brad. Don’t you homey, me, Nate!

Next week? More delicious twists. Can’t wait. The season has finally gotten interesting. I finally care.

What did you think?

And for all you Grey’s fans…..was last night a sobfest or what? Most depressing show ever. I should have just stuck with the far more gratifying Survivor and called it a night.

Monday…I’ll announce the winner of this week’s SHaQ Attack contest, launch a new one…and hopefully be able to share my sneak peek!!

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Tags: Writing by Donna
5 Comments »

I wish they could all three get Glitter Ball Trophies. But…no.

Hello, Tom! Oh look, it’s Patty Duke. Wait. No, it’s just Sam.

Even better, it’s Maks as Bond. James Bond. That? Was hot. Well, Maks was anyway. (Was there anyone else on the dance floor?)

Ahhhh…and a real Bond trailer. I’m a very happy girl. I’ve never missed a Bond and I happen to think this one might be the best in eons. Cannot wait.

Oooooh, and even better? We get a little tour preview that includes Lisa Rinna, her husband Harry, Joey McIntyre, and–wait for it—Willa and Maks!!! Wooo! Dancing to Footloose, I gonna need a LOT of ice cream. That was fun. Loved seeing Louis! and Lisa together again, too.

We get to see Tysonia compete. You go, girl! She looks really wonderful. What a change from when she started. She performs the rumba, which is a tough one as it’s the woman’s dance. They don’t show a lot of it, but she gave it her all.
She gets second place!

Now we get The Pet Shop Boys fresh off their latest tour, singing their hits. We get my all time fave, West End Girls. Cool dancers, but wish the stoned cameramen had stayed on them straight on to get the full effect.

Hi Tony Potts! Hi Jimmy Kimmel! Hi Rachel Ray!

After a very prolonged announcement, we find out that, Mario & Karina are in the finals…and as many of us predicted, Joey & Edyta are going home. And may I say, not only were they classy, but Emmitt and Cheryl were both the utmost professionals with the announcement as well. Very classy, guys, very classy. Group hugs all the way around. I know nobody wanted to see any of their competitors leave. It’s a tough one!

A prolonged standing O from the crowd - very well deserved. And though he’s handling it like the class act, good guy that he is, you can see that he’s really disappointed, too. He worked so hard, he really wanted to go to the end. I wish it was a final three!

After the clip package and the good-bye…all wonderful, as we watch them dance their final dance, Tom lets us know that this year, the finale will be different. Each couple will dance three! dances. They will perform a freestyle, their favorite dance, and, new this year, they will both dance to the same song. (I’m guessing with the same style dance, but they didn’t elaborate.) That will be interesting!

Of course, Mario’s a great dancer, but anyone who has followed my blog all season (can you believe we’ve been doing this for a couple of months?) knows I’m rooting for Emmitt all the way, but it will be an entertaining final, no matter how you look at it.

Who do you want to win it all?

Don’t forget, you still have time to vote in this week’s SHaQ Attack. See Tuesday’s blog for all the details. And hey, I’m visiting over with the Brava Babes today, blogging about sports heroes. Come on by and join the conversation!

And I know I promised an all new Sneak Peek….but I haven’t gotten permission yet from The Wizard Behind The Curtain (aka my editor.) The second I do, I’ll share.

Tags: Writing by Donna
15 Comments »

So…it’s the semi-finals, folks. Three dancers left…who will the final two be?

LIVE! It’s Dancing with the Stars. (Channeling my inner Bergeron.)

Okay, be honest with me, it’s almost impossible to look at Samantha’s face with her Lei-scalloped boobs popping you in the face, isn’t it? Put those things away, Samantha!

So, I could have done without the Hot Legs reprise (sorry, Rod, you know I love ya) but had NO problem watching Maks Jr and Crew with a Billie Jean encore. AND Maks himself with Lionel Richie….yeah, now you’re getting the right drift. All Maks, All the Time Encores. Best Of Maks. The energy of that Richie tune always makes me want to get up and dance. Love that song. Forgot how hot Karina and Maks were. Good pairing.

Commercial Break: Knights of Prosperity has gotten all kinds of rave advance press. The premise - a gang of “badnews bears” thieves plot to rob Mick Jagger - sounded interesting and fresh and I heard the writing was All That. So I was excited to finally see a commercial. I hope they just showed the wrong clip because..not all that impressive, really. Or funny. Which is kinda crucial in a comedy.

And we’re back. Really Sam, very distracting. So I guess we’re filling the hour and a half of air time with a clip package of a whole lot of past results show encores. Sigh. A little is good, but a lot is…well, a lot.

Except we start with Maks leaping off the stage. All is forgiven, pass the ice cream. Oh yeah, Maks is a match for Karina and vice versa. Billy Idol is right….I want More, More, More. Any dance that ends with straddling a prone Maks is worthy of as many encores as they deem necessary.

Now we get Tom Jones, which, you know, not at his best, but I heart Tom, so it’s okay. And we get Louis! and Karina. Love watching him dance spotlighted like this and she can keep up with his whipcord moves.

Swop Encore, so I can work off this ice cream just watching them fling each other across the stage.

Commercial Break: Yeah, I’m totally watching the Shat-tastic Shatner game show. At least once.

And…finally, it’s show time!

Down the Staircase of Stars they come. Edyta is actually draped in some fabric, but Joey….Joey, Joey, Joey. Who dresses you, man? Monique’s guy? Because, the little sailor boy thing? Just say no. Of course Emmitt does his own couture and it shows. Man’s got serious style, all in nehru gray. And Miss Cheryl is looking pretty hot in her spangly silver. Mario is wearing his Hugh Hef black blazer on red satin look, and Karina looks relatively subdued in black with bicep high black gloves.

The crowd is non-stop cheering and you almost can’t hear Our Tom. He explains the voting window extends to 11pm Pacific time and everyone has 5 votes per phone line. Hmmm…..wonder who wil get mine as I’m actually watching while I can still vote for once!

Each couple will perform two of their previously performed dances - one latin, one ballroom. Only it has to be completely new choreo, new music, new costumes. I hope this means they had some control over music selection this time around. I hope so! I hope ABC has some decent, approved music they can use.

Mario & Karina will be dancing tango and cha cha. Mario chose the former because they got spanked for messing with the rules on the tango, so I guess he wants the chance to do it the right way. They open the night, dancing the tango. And here we go….

They’re all over each other and the floor before it even starts. Getting the rule breaking out of their system early, I guess, before it technically matters? I don’t know, but it was kinda awkward. Nice opening once the music started. Oh - Whatever Lola Wants is the tune….appropriate for Karina, eh? They follow the rules, and it’s another sharp number, but it wasn’t WOW or anything. Just regular good from them. I think this dance is good for Mario as he tends to “hit” his motions and isn’t really all that fluid at times, but even with his tango face on, and holding his upper body pretty smooth and some sharp footwork…it was still just okay for me. Techincally lovely, but didn’t get me going like some of those encore moments did. Crowd disagrees as they are immediately on their feet, but they’re collectively pretty much wound tight tonight anyway.

Judges? Len says he expect huge things tonight and that he thought it took real guts to come out and dance the style Len gave him a 6 for last time. Then tells him it was his best dance ever. (I disagree….but what do I know. It was technically challenging, Ill give them that.) Bruno said it was gutsy and intense. Carrie Ann says that might be the best dance she’s seen all season. I guess I need to rewatch that. I’m not seeing that level of wow. Scores - and they get a standing O from the judges with a perfect 30. The first one of the season. And, for the first time, we get a very excited Mario, almost Joey babbling. It was worth it just to finally see that. So I apparently am WAY off base with this one. Ooookay.

Next, we get…the founding president of Zambia? Okay. Proving dance is universal, I guess.

Second up, are Emmitt & Cheryl. They choose waltz and cha cha. He is really putting his all into this trying to continually improve. They look great. Opening with the waltz, and Emmitt in those tails and some wild shoes, here we go. Dancing to a song whose name I cannot remember but we’ve heard a million times (they need to caption these things!) they start off ever so smoothly and the audience rewards them with a cheer. It’s very lovely and gets better as it goes on, but though the audience is with them the whole way, I’m not as sold. I wanted to feel more Wow, and….well… It’s funny, but I think Emmitt is more suited to this smooth style than Cheryl, who is a bit too funky in this waltz with her motions for me. Not as elegant as he is. But then, we all know I’m not getting it tonight, already, so what do I know? The ending is gorgeous. I rewatched, and I was more impressed the second time, mostly noticing the speed in which they danced the complex choreo and how on target Emmitt was throughout. So I hope the judges concur. I know the crowd does!

Judges? Carrie Ann says there is an authenticity in his dance and they were wonderful. Len says it was a fairy tale and that he loved it. Bruno says he’s turning into an American Wonder, where no matter how much you look at it, you’re always amazed. Scores? 9, 10, 10 for a 29.

Joey & Edyta end the first round. They’ve chosen rumba to try to improve over their initial scores on that dance, and quick step which surprises me as it’s one of the toughest dances, but they did well with it last time, so thought it would be a good one to revisit. Joey cracks me up as he characterizes the final three as “two bald heads and a pair of dimples.” Love it! I love how he approaches this whole thing. You know he’s dying to win, but he’s having such fun with it, too.

Okay, so Joey explains the sailor outfit as being a tribute to his navy officer grandfather, so I totally forgive him. Very sweet! Love the Joey Grandparents Moment. How cute where they? (And how cute is it that Joey met his wife at Disney World and got married there, too.)

Here we go with the quick step, to 42nd Street. Apparently Joey is the only one going Naval for this dance as Edyta is more Greek goddess with her outfit. Their first pass was a bit tentative, as if they started off a bit, but with the second pass and onward, things pick up. It was fun and lighthearted - and almost took them off the floor at one point. I think Joey succeeds almost despite Edyta rather than because of her, but the choreo was complex and very fast paced and I think they did a good job. The crowd, not surprisingly for this group, goes wild.

Judges? Bruno says full steam ahead. Carrie Ann says it was fun but does mention they broke the hold. She almost seemed to hate to mention it, but it was a break inthe rules. Uncle Lenny shocks me by agreeing with CA, but essentially forgiving them and saying it was in keeping with the dance flow and that he deserves a finals placement with that dance. Wow, someone gave Lenny his happy juice. Either that or he’s just an old sentimental softie and he liked that Joey was dancing for his Pop Pop. Scores? 9, 10, 10 for 29.

That concludes the Ballroom Round….now on to my favorite…Latin!

Mario & Karina dance the cha cha cha - and I do have to admit that I like Karina’s wig changes. She wears them really well, for the most part, and I like the characters she adopts with them. Mario’s top hat? Not so much. And here we go, dancing to Micheal Jackson’s Bad. Karina is in what has to be an Edyta-inspired pair of latex pants loaded with zippers. Mario is all in black, as well, muscle tank and, the hat. He spends some time doing his MJ impression, then tries to flow into the cha cha cha from the pose, hit, pose hit, format. Not, perhaps a good idea there as it reminds people he’s not all that fluid, but at this point, I doubt his fans are going to care. Still, I’d like to see him stop the pose, hit, pose, hit thing and just dance with more flow. Yeah, yeah, I know. They do a nice job. Karina’s pants are kind of distracting. I like dresses better, but I’m sure every guy in America would stone me for that suggestion right about now. I’m not sure the music is really cha cha, but they’re giving it all they’ve got. It looked more Fosse than Latin to me, but again, I’m me. Which is to say, biased. So is the crowd, however, who loved it.

Judges? Carrie Ann added and subtracted points and it was hard to tell where she ended up with it, but she liked. Len agreed with me. Finally! (Although it scares me to be in agreement with Uncle Lenny.) Still, vindicated. Too much pop, not enough cha. Bruno says it was hot and saucy. Scores? 10, 9, 10 for 29.

Second up is Cheryl & Emmitt with their cha cha cha (and I hope dancing cha cha cha back to back won’t hurt them!) here we go, dancing to Dance to the Music. Oh yeah, everyone is UP right off the first beat. PERFECT tune. I love this song. Love it. Energy times 10. Brilliant music choice and the right thing after Mario’s performance. Forgotten inside the first three beats. Cheryl? You’re da bomb, baby. Excellent choreo. Emmitt is getting his funk on in his muscle gold shirt and bicep bands and grinning and working it like a man looking to win this thing. Dayum. Loving every second of this one. Fave of the night. The crowd goes nuts the whole time. Don’t blame them. A ton of fun.

Judges? They have a hard time calming the audience down enough to be heard. Bruno says he’s a great entertainer and earned his license to thrill. Carrie Ann just does the lasso and says Ride Emmitt, Ride. Nuff said, there. Lenny says he loved their first cha cha, the first week, loved this one ten times more. It would be fun to see them back to back, see how they improved over the time. Scores? Standing O from the judges for a perfect and very well deserved 30! Woo hoo! (And how cute was Tom woo-ing? Smooches!) They are SO excited to get the 30, it’s great to see. Then ol Buzz Kill Samantha comes along. Will someone please find her another job?

Closing the show…Joey & Edytadancing their rumba. Here we go, dancing to Eternal Flame. All in all, better music tonight, for sure. These two look lovely. A more elegant than perhaps hot/sexy rumba, but a nice showing from them. I think everyone brought their A Game tonight. It’s nice to see. No one faltered. Very enjoyable night, worth rewatching just for pleasure.

Judges? Len says tonight Joey channeled his inner Latin dancer. Bruno says the shackles are gone. (Whatever.) Carrie Ann says he loosened up and looked wonderful. Scores - 10, 10, 10 for their 30.

So, the judges have taken themselves out of the equation and left all three couples tied for first place with 59 out of 60. So it’s all fans, all the time now.

For me…as much as I’d be thrilled with an Emmitt and Joey finale, I’m guessing Joey goes home tonight. My phone votes (since I could make them this week) all went to Emmitt. Online, I threw my votes Joey’s way. What the heck!

Who do you think will go? Who do you think will/want to win??

Don’t forget to vote for the SHaQ Attack this week. See Tuesday’s post for all the details.

Tomorrow we have the results show AND I have an advance peek I can hopefully share as well. Can’t wait!

Tags: Writing by Donna
7 Comments »

It’s time to get out and vote today…so I thought I’d have my own little “election” here this week. Only, we’re going to elect the losers, not the winners. (Well, not that this doesn’t actually happen for real, but….)

For this week’s SHaQ Attack contest we’re going to revisit our Reality Show Vote Off game. Starting tonight, through this coming Sunday night, you’ll have three opportunities to “elect” the right loser. You only need to pick the right loser from one show to be eligible to win. You can only elect one loser from each show. And your votes for each loser have to be in before their show airs. Clear as mud? Good. Just like a real election then.

So….tonight on Dancing with the Stars, who do you think will go home? Emmitt? Mario? Or Joey? Results will be in tomorrow night, so you have until Wednesday at 8pm EST to get that vote in.

On Survivor, who will go home? Will it be someone from Raro? Or someone from Aitu? (You only have to pick the losing tribe, not the losing Survivor.) That election will end Thursday night, so you have until 8pm EST on Thursday to get that vote in.

And, lastly, which team goes home on Amazing Race? Will it be the Cho Brothers, Romberly, the *lyns, the Models, or the Beauty Queens? You have until Sunday, 8pm EST to get that vote in.

You can cast your votes for each show up until the deadline listed, or you can cast all your votes at the same time. I’ll keep track. One vote per Blog Babe, per show. Any votes that come in for candidates whose “election” is already over, will simply be discounted. Everyone who picks a loser correctly will be entered into the drawing for a free book. Winner to be announced next Monday.

Send your votes to donna@donnakauffman.com with My Loser Votes in the subject line. Even if you don’t watch the shows, the contenders are all listed above, so you can vote anyway. (Just like a real election! )

Good luck!

Tags: Writing by Donna
6 Comments »

**Sorry for the delay in posting….DSL Issues**

See, this is where I’d lose the race. Gross Eating Challenges. Dangle me from a cliff, make me jump off a bridge hooked to a rubber band, fine. (And I HATE heights, but I know in the spirit of the moment, I’d totally do any of that.) Put a bowl of cow lips in front of me? Yeah, well, it was just a million dollars anyway. Who really needs that much money?

Ugh. (And the irony is, I have a cast iron stomach. I just need cast iron eyes. )

But….I digress!

It’s Monday, so it’s Raaaaaaace MAC Day.

We open with a recap where we are asked to remember that six teams set out from Kuwait from Mauritius, the *wins held their 6 Pack alliance together, the BQ’s bend a fender, but still come in first place. Salt does in pretty much everyone, and once again, Dave and Mary are in last…and once again, they get a non-elimination round that marks them for death. Well, race death anyway. Aaaaaaand, cue Race Theme Music! [bomp]

Hi Phil!!!

Ahem.

Tonight, six teams leave the Amazing Bathmat in Mauritius and head to…Madagascar! Cool!! They have to find the Black Angel statue (that is actually white. See? This is the race I love.)

Whoa, the BQ’s invoke the Wrath of Karman (when, when will these teams learn!) by taking someone else’s car and leaving their dinged up one for another team to take. Seeing as they only had to drive it to the airport, and they’re on a tiny island, so how far could that be, I’m not really getting why they’d intentionally stir up stuff, but….whatever. We’ll see how that works out for them. As much as I admire that they are doing so well, and without the help of other racers, or relying on their “feminine wiles” to get ahead, as other women on reality shows seem wont to do (yes, Parvati, I’m looking at you)….this stunt lost them points with me big time. A useless waste of good karma.

They talk about being nice as they race while still being competitive….as they drive off in Dave and Mary’s car, laughing. So…not exactly getting the kinder gentler thing, but again. Whatever. Amazing Editors, please tell me you’re setting that up as Major Foreshadowing. Smooches, if that’s the case.

We find out that The Addicts (aM!) are only setting out five minutes after the BQ’s - so tighter finish than I thought for first place on the mat. And it’s three in the morning, by the way. Tyler states the excruciatingly obvious when he says he has to take the lead for their team. And James agrees….then tells Tyler what road to take to the airport in his role as navigator. And we all know how well that’s worked for them so far. But, Tyler, he’s trying to let James be more proactive. Just hope you don’t miss your plane, boys. Or well, the rest of the race. Tyler looks worried, too. Smart boy, our Tyler.

Then, leaving a mere four minutes later, we get Kim whiiiiiiining about not taking the banged up car. Gah. These two are in a race for my least favorite team with Karlyn. Who just happens to have the misfortune of being teamed with Lyn, who I think we’d all like a lot better if she was racing with just about anyone else on the planet. But what can you do? She’s stuck with Karlyn’s perennial bitch face, and so, it seems, are we. As for Romberly, I will say that for all they do a lot of bickering, they do seem to be a lot more self aware of their shortcomings in that arena, than almost any of the previous bickering couples (that they cast Every. Single. Season. Gah squared.) And they seem to be a more solid couple than some of their predecessors, too. Still…it gets old.

Tyler decides they are far better following Romberly than trusting James’ mad map skillz, which, you know, I’d trust pretty much anyone first. Romberly has had their share of navigational concerns, but you know, it’s a tiny island with few roads. How Hard Can This Be, Dudes? (tm Rob.)

The *wins leave almost a whopping hour later at 4:04 am. Dudes. You might want to rethinkg the museketeer “all for one, one for all” strategy. Only 6 teams left and all. And, only ten dollars for this leg of the race. Ouch. Wonder if that’s going to be an Issue. They wait for the rest of their alliance. The *lyns are only a minute behind them, and team Coalminer only a few more after that, so not a real sacrifice, but I still worry about the pack mentality dooming them all.

The Chos take the banged up car without complaint. See, BQ’s? This is Good Karma at work. Of course, they are also talking about how they will sacrifice for the sake of the six pack and I worry. Where is my ice cream? It calms me. (Does too!)

Alabama goes renegade, taking a different route, which their alliance mates seem to understand. The BQ’s giggle over pissing off Bama by taking their car, not realizing that no one cares because it didn’t matter. Mostly Bama just wonders why anyone would piss off people for no reason. Oh my god, I’m agreeing with Karlyn!!! Pass me more ice cream, stat!

Bunching at the airport and everyone gets the same flight at 11 am. Hello, Madagascar!

Mary and David scoot out first. Romberly is in last place, where we hear Dr. Rob give us his dissertation on Island Life of the Damned. You scare me, Rob. The 6 Pack can’t figure out the Black Angel is white, and are immediately hopelessly behind.

The BQ’s, Addicts (aM!), and Romberly all figure it out and race toward the statue, seeing what they think is the familiar yield sign. But NO! It’s a New Twist! Yay, I like the new twists this season. So…this sign is an Intersection. And Phil (Hi Phil! Love the shirt! Silky!) explains to us that an Intersection means that each team must pair up with another team, and make all decisions and perform all tasks together with that team, until further notice.

Ooooooooooooh!

The Models read the clue first, which tells them they must partner up with another team (tho doesn’t specify how they choose) only that if no other team is there, they have to wait for the next one to show up. (That could be a real bitch right there.) Romberly is right behind the Models, so they team up, which makes sense as they’ve paired up before.

BUT! This means that the BQ’s are stuck waiting for any one of the 6 Pack team to arrive (Kaaaarmaaaa, sing it with me!) and team up with them. Because, yeah, the other teams love them so much. Not. This should be….interesting. Ah hahahahahahahaha. Yeah, I’m liking this. I want the Chos to get Dave and Mary, which means….BQ’s have to work with Bama. Karrrmaaaaa all the way around, baby! Love. This. Pleeeease let it work out that way, race gods, pretty please?

AND! There is another Fast Forward, which, I have to admit, I didn’t mind the first one coming after a non-elim, but having both FF’s after both Non Elims? Not as cool. The intersection twist was enough for one leg. Anyway, doesn’t look like the Marked for Death team can take advantage this time, even with the help of their alliance, as they aren’t even there yet. So, the newly formed Romberly (and Models!) take off for the FF, knowing there are no teams competing directly behind them as the BQ’s are stuck waiting at the Intersection. And, the flip side of the M-for-D team not getting the FF, is that the team that does almost certainly prevents the M-for-D team for coming in first, and thereby almost certainly eliminates them. Or certainly stacks the odds further against them. I’d rather see them all race full tilt without the FF and let the best team get there first. But, whatever.

Phil explains the FF while walking through the Disgusting Meat Market of Death that looks like a stage set for Fear Factor: World Championships of Gross Eating. Ugh. I even had to set my ice cream down. Not acceptable, Phil! And they haven’t even started on it yet. Both teams must chow down an entire plate of the aforementioned cowlips to get the FF and go directly to the pit stop.

And, alas, the Race Gods mock me, and let the BQ’s pair up with the lovely Cho Brothers who are all Kindness and Good. But, you know….do you think they’d purposely slow down the BQ’s to allow Kentucky/Bama to move ahead? Could be interesting! Moral conflict for the Cho Brothers ahead!

It seems as if Dave and Mary want the *lyns to try for the FF. (Somehow I doubt the BQ’s will tell them that there is already a merged team headed that way.) I think the BQ/Chos are going to do the Detour.

The sublime Phil explains that the teams have to choose between two tasks rooted in the rugged island lifestyle. Long Sleep…or Short Letter. In LS, teams must wrap mattresses and run them on foot through the confusing streets to deliver them to a certain address. In SL, teams must make and decorate 28 sheets of handcrafted paper. (I would LOVE that task!) Once again, the amazing task creators have given us two tasks that aren’t an obvious choice. Yay!

The BQ’s/Cho’s choose mattress hauling, then the BQ’s make a totally inappropriate joke about Asians and paper making that I guess I just don’t get. The Chos didn’t seem all that amused either. Gee, these girls haven’t endeared themselves to anyone of the *wins are even exasperated with them. But in true (gorgeous) Cho style, they tell the BQ’s if they kick ass carrying mattresses, all is forgiven. Chos? You’re such good guys. Even when you don’t have to be. BQ’s? Shut up and be happy you have a great pair working with you.

The FF teams are purposely taking this route so that one of the 6 pack will leave. Of course, they could also eliminate the BQ’s, but something tells me this wouldn’t break their hearts either. Bama talks Kentucky into going for the Detour since another team has already gone for the FF. Probably a wise move, but then Lyn is usually a wise woman. Go Lyn. Hope it pans out for you.

Now it’s time for Cow Lips. To be honest, it doesn’t look horrible (though you have to kind of laugh at the cutesy flower plate! pattern) and it doesn’t look like a huge amount either. I bonded with Kim briefly when she blanched upon looking at the plate o’ lips. But, in true race style, she digs in. Kudos, Kim Lips. You’re a better racer than I. Ew - they explain that there is still hair on the chunks, fat, and, yes, teeth. They have to swallow the teeth. Oh. My, God. Tyler just holds his nose and goes for it. All four racers are really really struggling with the first chunk. This doesn’t bode too well. Me? I, uh, need to run put a load of wash in the dryer. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll be right back!

Okay, I officially don’t like the BQ’s. They have zero sense of politics and just plain niceness. After cementing their deal with the Chos to go for it and all is forgiven, then joke and laugh with them about the fact that they chose to work with them because they were the leaders fo the 6 pack, so strategically, this means they weaken the alliance by removing their leaders from helping them, and thereby hopefully eliminate them. Girls? You might not want to share this bit of race strategy, especially being all giggly and righteously smug, with the guys you just hijacked BEFORE you do the task together. Just sayin.

Come on, Cho’s. Don’t let me down here.

Rob cheers on the FF teams. Good job, there, Rob. Especially as he seemed to be struggling the most. Mary and Dave marvel at how being stuck together 24 hours a day, for days on end, makes them bicker more. Ya think? BQ’s/Cho’s swiftly cover their mattresses. Bama/Kentucky…do not.

And…ah hahahahahahaha, it’s the Cho’s who force the BQ’s to rely on their “wiles” for the first time in the race. Love. It.

Racing mattresses! James eats Cow Lips! (and it doesn’t phase him in the least. Finally, something he’s good at!) The locals are very indulgent over rampaging mattresses.

BQ’s/Cho’s finish the Detour first and are released from their bond to one another. Now on their own, teams race toward another market place to find their next clue.

Cow lip eaters continue to struggle. I continue to wish I could eat ice cream. But no. Mattresses are still being dragged through the streets by Bama/tucky.

Cho’s get bad taxi karma (why them? why?) aaaand the BQ’s get to the road block clue box first. Honestly. They’re good, but tonight, it grates.

The Road Block sends one member of each team searching for specific rubber stamps throughout a maze of rubber stamp vendors. Then they must travel by taxi to the pit stop, where they will be reunited with their partner.

Cow lip eaters console themselves over how long it’s taking them to eat the lips by thinking about how long it will take the other teams to do both a detour and a roadblock. They might be surprised.

BQ #1 arrives at the Amazing Bathmat to await the arrival of her partner, who isn’t having much luck finding the right rubber stamp vendors. The Cho’s arrive in the marketplace and look for the Roadblock clue.

Dancing Phil at the Amazing Bath Mat!! Phil has rhythm. Woot!

Bamatucky deliver their mattresses and are racing again. Lip eaters continue to chow down. My stomach continues to churn. James and Rob are done. Tyler is meditating his way through it. Kim is puking her way through.

Everyone gets bad taxi karma and it ends up being a real foot race for four of the six teams. Unless Bama seriously screws up on the stamps, it looks like Kentucky is finally going home.

The BQ’s are team numero uno again. They win a trip to Hawaii and a volcano tour, but the best part is they get to hug a very happy Phil. Sigh.

Karma Editors? Totally let me down. The BQ’s are a juggernaut of winning.

Second to the mat, Tyler and James. Third is Rob and Kimberly. (Where did the Cho bro go?) They are team number four.

Dave and Mary are team number five…plus thirty minutes.

Apparently not a single taxi in Madagascar has gas in the tank, and Lyn is delayed. But I doubt it will be thirty minutes worth.

The *lyns are team number five and Lyn is super relieved, but really hates that she’s kicked her best friends out of the race. Hard to tell with Karlyn. With twenty minutes still to go, Dave and Mary are Philiminated.

Karlyn tries to muster up an actual tear, while Lyn gives an incredibly sweet, heartfelt, and tearful good-bye speech to Dave and Mary. Couldn’t ask for more than that. They can be proud about how they ran the race. And to think they’ve seen so much of the world, after never once before leaving their own back yard. They are forever changed. Pretty cool, team Coalminer!

Next on Amazing Race….Karlyn really can cry. Mud pits o’ death!

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about this week’s SHaQ Attack! Tune in tomorrow for all the details.

Tags: Writing by Donna
5 Comments »

Which is better than the other way around, I’m thinkin!

So, first…on this weeks’ Survivor: Does this season seem like it’s already been on for, like, five years, and we still have five dozen people on the island whose names and tribe afilliation we still can’t retain and then Jeff says it’s only been 18 days and not a 180 days and mouths across the country drop open in shock? I know, me too.

It’s been months (or two weeks, whatever) since we’ve been on the island with these guys, so a little refresher was needed. In the last actual episode, there was sand wrestling and kicking and choking and both tribes went to council where Cao Boi and Christina went home from their respective tribes to pretty much no ones surprise. Then AiTunes got to kidnap a person from Raro, so they took Nate.

Currently…we’re at Camp AiTunes where a clueless Flicka (redundant, I know) talks about tribal voting strategy right in front of Nate and much of the hour is spent with AiTunes speculating on who would go home next, so anyone familiar with the Survivor Editors already knows who’s going to council later, but I digress.

Off we go to the reward challenge and it’s a cold, rainy, windy day in paradise and everyone is feelin it. This challenge involves swimming and puzzle making, so Brad, being one of the few strong guys left for Raro, decides, of course that he’s needed to do puzzles, leaving Adam and the girls to do all the swimming, which proves to be a bad idea. On AiTunes, Nate is kept from competing (because duh) and knows he will go back to his team once the challenge is over, also can’t understand why Brad is standing around waiting for puzzle pieces when they clearly need him in the water. The freezing cold water. So, maybe it’s Raro going to tribal where Brad’s name will surely be bandied about, but first, swimming and puzzle making.

Ozzy is a guppy and Yul is just plain hot, even with those awesome, inscrutable glasses on, and with Brad doing puzzles and Nate forced to sit and watch, AiTunes wins reward, which are two items from the Survivor catalog. In this case, peanut butter and potatoes.

Nate goes back to his tribe hungry and cold, and does all the work as the girls are toast after all the swimming. Brad tries to look invisible. Oh yeah, and Adam is sent to Exile on the worst storm of the century. I don’t like Adam, but I’d have sacrificed myself to help keep him warm. You know, because I’m all generous like that.

At the immunity challenge, we have teams putting giant pegs in holes to make steps and….more puzzle making! (Because apparently we’ve run out of original ideas now. Sigh.) Not to be outdone twice in a row, Raro kicks into high gear and pegs are flying and then Becky kicks all kinds of puzzle piecing ass and they win handily over AiTunes.

So…..I was right. All that tribal speculation over who should go home, Jonathan perhaps? He’s so shifty and no one trusts him. Or maybe Ozzy, who is freaking Mowgli reincarnate and keeps them all fat and happy but is clearly a huge honking threat. Or maybe, clueless Flicka who spends all her time trying to get people to vote for Jonathan over her pal Ozzy and can’t figure out that when NO ONE will tell you who they’re voting for, it’s because they’re all voting for YOU. Sheesh.

Which, of course, they all do. Buh bye, Flicka. She did work hard at challenges, but it was easily the most logical thing for them to do and I can’t say I’ll miss her dread-locked, Pippi Longstocking’d legged self. She had fun and loves everybody and can now spread the joy and the love in sequesterville, no harm, no foul.

Next week? Hard to say as my TiFaux cut out, but - and this is just a guess - someone is going to Exile Island and there might be some puzzle making involved during one or both challenges. Just speculating.

Now on to the SHaQ Attack portion of today’s program. You guys were great this week with all the chat and I totally enjoyed reading all your responses and getting the conversation flowing here a bit. I hope we keep it up even when there’s not a free book on the line. Woo hoo!

So, from all the replies and comments this week…the winning Blog Babe is….Angie T! Woot! Angie, you get to pick your choice from the titles currently sitting on my website bookshelf (link in the column to your right) - send me a few selections in case I’m out of your first choice - and your address and I’ll get your prize out asap! Congratulations!

Tune in Monday for the next SHaQ Attack contest and some Amazing Race MAC (where I bet no puzzles will be involved in kicking off one of the remaining teams.)

Have a great weekend! It’s great curl up with a good book weather here. Me, I’m curled up with Jennifer Crusie’s new novella in the Santa Baby, collection. Then next up, lucky me, I get to dig in to a few advance copies of some upcoming Brava’s that my editor, Santa Kate, so wonderfully sent my way. I’ll let you know what I think and what should go on your Must Buy list! What are you reading?

Tags: Writing by Donna
16 Comments »