So, on last night’s Survivor…how cute was Yau Man with his “evil thoughts” and fake immunity idol? He’s pretty much the only reason to watch the show at this point, and boy he didn’t disappoint tonight!

I also loved Earl Island. Ha!

Not feeling the love for Ravu, definitely not for Rocky. They finally win a challenge, but since the only actual Ravu members left were Rocky and Mookie, I wasn’t all that excited. In fact, I wasn’t excited at all. I was the anti-excitement.

On the other hand, I was mega excited when Moto won the Immunity Challenge. Mostly because then Yao can keep his Immunity Idol that much longer. I can’t wait to see if the fake idol comes into play. That? Still hilarious. And speaking of hilarity, show of hands for who laughed out loud when Michelle, in her aerobic instructor enthusiasm while shouting directions, launched herself right off the platform? Come on, now. I laughed. I mean, I was glad she wasn’t hurt, but that? Was funny. What wasn’t funny? Sending BLIND BOO up on the platform to direct Yao. Being Billy Big Voice won’t help if you CAN’T SEE. Thank god they managed it anyway.

Off to tribal council for Ravu and the entire world stands up and shouts “Send Rocky home!” I mean, when the shout isn’t “Send Lisi home” that should be telling you something right there. In the final count, Mookie can’t pull off the last minute tie, Dreamz proves no one can trust him on either side, and Rocky’s big fat mouth FINALLY gets him into actual trouble, so all is right with the universe as he takes the Final Walk of Fireless Shame. I might start to actually enjoy the game now.

Of course, poor Anthony has to live with him in Sequesterville now. That’s just cruel and unusual punishment right there. Except, I hope he gets to be the one to tell Rocky that, pssst, dude, you didn’t make the jury. You got voted out too soon. HA! (At least, Probst didn’t say he was on the jury…and he would have, wouldn’t he? Did he say he was on the jury? And I missed it? Waaaaaaaah!!!!)

Who is going home next??

Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…the winner of this week’s SHaQ Attack contest! The contest query this week was: Name my Polynesian heroine and the story she starred in. Answer? Kamala Apolo in Making Waves, which was in the Merry Christmas, Baby anthology.

Many of you got it right, but only one of you can be the winner. And this week, that winner would be, Blog Babe Barbara-Jo! Woo hoo!!

Tune in Monday for more MAC and the chance at another free book. Have a great weekend, everybody!

Tags: Writing by Donna
7 Comments »

This is American Idol, the results. So, I loved Ryan’s Sanjaya-do. Hi-larious. At least they’re just having fun with it now, because you can only be bitter and ugly about it for so long before you’re just the ugly bitter one. I laughed and laughed.

And, given that we all knew Sanjaya wasn’t going anywhere, and that both Haley and Chris S were my bottom 2 picks, this wasn’t completely shocking. But I will say I didn’t think he’d actually go before Haley. I sort of thought he’d be given a week or two of Song of Redemption singing. Alas, no. Our fair Curly Chris is gone. At least he got his sing out. And now we just have one Chris, no last initial needed. (Who looked pretty cute in that pimpmercial, btw.)

Next week? Tony Bennett. Yeah, because that keeps the show young and contemporary like the judges are always exhorting. I happen to love me some Tony, but I don’t generally love me some teenagers trying to sing Tony. And I definitely don’t think this is going to be all contemporary sounding. So I reserve the right to be grumpy next week. (Hey, I heard that!)

Survivor tonight, where, if we’re lucky, it will actually be interesting and maybe Rocky will finally go home. A girl can dream.

Last chance to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest! See Monday’s blog for details.

Tags: Writing by Donna
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So, LaKiki kicks things off on Gwen Stefani week, singing….Donna Summers? Okay, so it’s No Doubt/Stefani songs and songs by artists who have inspired her. Hence…the Big D. And the Big LaK knocks it out of the park in boots that were made for walkin’. The judges all loved her and I did, too.

Next up? Chris Sligh singing The Police, Every Little Thing. Gwen notices his penchant to get ahead of the beat, something we’ve been noticing. Aaaaand, I’m not in love with this. It’s not a song that opens strong for him. And, unfortunately it doesn’t really gain strength as he goes on. He sounded a little rough during his Stool of Interview Madness with Ryan, so maybe he’s feeling a bit off and under the weather, but, all in all, still disappointing from one of my faves. Judges? (hides behind hands) Randy thinks it’s a good song choice and I disagree, but agree that he gets ahead of the beat. Paula agrees about staying in the beat pocket, but I disagree that he was tonally on track. Simon is the one who agrees with me on both parts. Big shock there. I’m sad. I don’t want to see him do poorly.

Now it’s Gina, who is a wreck because Gwen is one of her idols and inspirations. She picks a great song for her voice (I’ll Stand By You) and starts strong, stays there. Good performance. Interesting outfit, but she pulls it off. Judges? Randy thought it was her strongest and I totally agree. Paula agrees. Simon Says it was her best performance and best of the night in terms of marriage of song, persona, voice.

What is UP with Sanjaya’s hair? Oh. My. God. What is up is all of his hair. Is Up. Straight up. In some kind of hallucinogenic induced reggae mohawk. Yikes. He chose Bathwater, a No Doubt song that even Gwen sort of shrugs and wonders “really? You? Ooookay.” She’s imagining train wreck. So are we. But then, what’s new? And here we go… I don’t know the song, so can’t really comment on how horribly he’s destroying it, but I can’t say I’m enjoying the whole experience. His voice once again sounds too soft and sing songy to do this justice. Needs to be punchier, edgier, which I think Gwen and I both know is beyond his range, last week notwithstanding. Judges? From the look he’s giving the judges, I think he’s finally had it with all the crap he’s taken on a global scale (and really, who of us could stand up to that onslaught) and this is some kind of “go ahead, make my day” moment, where he’s just done caring. And for that, kudos. Because, honestly, what else is the kid to do at this point? Still, hated the song. But golf clap on the laser beam of defiance stare down. Randy says he’s speechless every time. Paula says if he’s going to do funky fauxhawks, he needs to bring it totally to the stage (a la last week, I presume) and I get behind that. Simon just laughs and says why comment when it’s clear it doesn’t matter what the judges say about him, anyway, and he just thinks it’s hilarious. I love Simon in this mood. Mostly because I’m in the same mood at the moment and happen to agree.

Up now? Haley, who chooses one of Gwen’s fave songs of all times, True Colors, which she has also covered. If the rehearsal is any indication….ouch. But maybe she’ll be less sharp noted on stage. Nice to know Gwen agrees with me about the whack arrangement she was going for. Don’t mess with a Cyndi Lauper classic. Here we go. Aaaand, she doesn’t take Gwen’s advice. Not that it really matters because her voice isn’t strong tonight. At all. Nice suit though. Judges…It was just a-ight for Randy, Paula agrees with Gwen, Simon says it was sweet but forgettable. Agreed. (And shut up crowd.)

Oh god. Phil is up and who told him to wear that hat? Dude. ::Shaking head:: He chooses Every Breath You Take by the Police and surprises Gwen who didn’t think it would be all that good. Well, I hope he surprises me, too, since he’s not a fave of mine. Just one bit of advice? Don’t wait until the end of the damn song to get on pitch, okay? She advises him to just stick to the song and don’t get cutesy. Here we go…and for the most part he listens to Gwen (what is wrong with these people? Listen to the star.) But he does great with the refrain, as he is wont to do. I like him much better if I listen and don’t actually watch him. But a good one for him. Wish they’d left the back up singers out of it. Judges? Randy dug it. Paula liked the chorus and agrees he plays it too safe in the verses. Wow, on point criticism. Simon said it was a good song choice and done well.

Next? MindyDoo, who picks Heaven Knows and knocks Gwen’s socks off as she’s been knocking our socks off. Collective love. Here we go…and I love the arrangement with the strings. Big sound for a big voice and strong stage presence. Really makes her performance. Cute hair. Weird outfit. Her Gails let her down with that this week, I think. Otherwise, she sings great again. I can’t say it was all that entertaining in the way maybe LaKiki was tonight, but she’ll never sing anything badly. Judges - Randy says she’s a pro who really understands the songs she sings - which is true. Paula…is back to stuttering. Simon says it was good, but maybe not her watermark night (agreed) and hates the outfit. See? He’s channeling me.

Up now…Blake. Yay! I think I look forward to him more than anyone each week. I think he’s the most “current” sounding artist up there. A lot of good and great singers, but he is the performer I want to watch as well as listen to. He picks The Cure, which doesn’t make me crazy happy, but whatever. Gwen is concerned, given the melody, how and when he incorporates the beat boxing, afraid it might overshadow what is a simple and pure melody, but is hopeful. As am I. Here we go….and I like this. He’s doing a good job with this. It’s a more solemn song for him than maybe I’d want to see, but he stays true to it and does really well with it. It does suit his voice very well. And he has the right look for this. Cutie patootie shaggy headed guy. Judges - Randy agreed about the song choice, but says he did the most with it. Paula loved it. And agrees he makes this competition contemporary. Simon says he’s definitely the strongest guy in the competition, but to be careful not to get too self indulgent and that it was a bit boring, which Randy and I so agree with and deluded Paula just keeps saying no, no, no. Don’t listen to her Blake. Does anyone listen to her?

Now we get Jordin, who I hope rescues things for the women tonight. Not that they really need it, but it hasn’t been a barrel of fun tonight for some reason. Maybe because LaKiki was over and done straight off and only Gina really brought it and that was with a slow song and so we need someone to kick this party up. Aaaand, she does!! Way to go, girl. She picks Hey Baby, which shocks me and Gwen, both in that she’s tackling such a huge song, and that..she can actually tackle such a big song. Yay! So, okay, she comes out wearing WHAT? It so distracts, especially when you’re singing a Gwen song and Gwen is all about cute and sexy and not…oh my god that’s ugly. But, thankfully, Jordin’s voice is not. Aaaand, then she sort of loses her way around the second refrain with the backup singers and derails. Nice try, but I don’t think you got this one.

(And is it just me, or does Gwen not have any expression when she talks. As in none. Seriously plastic. I love her, and I think she’s been great with the contestants, but damn she’s mannequin smooth.)

Judges? Randy said it was risky and she pulled it off. Paula…seal clap. Simon says she’s the most improved and did something young, if a bit copy cattish. I wasn’t as thrilled, but what do I know.

Chris Richardson closes the show tonight with Don’t Speak, and Gwen is a little put off that he thinks he needs to do vocal gymnastics with her song and hopes he doesn’t. Good luck with that, Gwen. (Hey, she smiled!) Here we go…like the sound as he begins. I think his voice is weakly soft, but it suits this song okay. Back up singers in this case help him out. He stays soft in the refrain which is probably a good thing since I don’t think his voice is strong enough to do more with it…except it really needs more. Could there be another bottom two for Chris this week? Hard to say. His refrains as he gets into it are stronger, and I even appreciate the runs, but….we’ll see. Judges - Randy liked the R&B Ska vibe. Paula….take another sip. Simon says it was a much much better song choice, liked the arrangement, but didn’t think the vocals were strong. And - he nailed it for me. I agree exactly.

I can’t even guess who will be bottom two this week. I think both Chris’s are in danger, as is Haley. I wish I could say Sanjaya is in danger, but we all know that’s not going to happen. What do you think? Who is going home tomorrow night?

Okay…now on to who gets the first boot on Dancing With The Stars… (And HA! Take that Fox for trying to step on Dancing’s toes by running a longer show. They just didn’t start getting into it until you were done. So there! Now who has two left feet?)

Laila and Maks get the encore and more Maks is never a bad thing. We also find out that Dionne Warwick is the guest singer tonight.

Who moves forward this week? Heather & Jonathan, and Clyde & Elena. Hmmm, wonder who is bottom three?

Dionne Says A Little Prayer for all of us and she looks and sounds fabulous. The dancers enter and Jonathan and Cheryl are smokin hot. The other guy? Not so much. Spastic guy a little bit. Tone it down a notch, dude. Brian is less flamboyant than you. I know, who knew that was even possible? But it was great to see the little Spitfire again. We miss you Trebunskaya.

Hi Brian Austin Greene! Squee!

Two more couples saved… Ian & Cheryl and Laila and Maks. Nothing shocking there.

Next week we get Jive and here’s a performance from the pros to show us how it’s done. The singers completely obliterate a Queen song - wow, did anyone even recognize it? But the dancers were fun to watch.

Next week, we also get the Tango, so naturally, we go to the supreme expert on the subject….Jimmy Kimmel. who shows us the intricacies of this sexy dance with? Guillermo, the parking garage attendant. Ha!

Back to reality, it’s time to find out which team is in the Bottom Two. First team in danger? Paulina & Alec. Then it’s Dionne’s turn to ask us if we know the way to San Jose (backed up with some girl on girl dancing action, that I totally didn’t understand.)

More safe couples….Joey & Kym, Apolo & Julianne, and John & Edyta. Also safe? Leeza & Tony. Ooops! I guessed that one wrong. Karina & Billy Ray? Also safe, to the shock of no one except, Billy Ray.

So, the other couple in the Bottom Two with Paulina & Alec is Shandi & Brian. At this moment, I’m picking Shandi/Brian as the exit this week, but hey…let’s wait until it’s official.

And officially? It’s Paulina & Alec. Sure, sure, she can’t dance all that well, but I liked her! Ah well. It’s not like Master P is still in there. Or Sanjaya. These two were my upcoming exiters anyway. Still…. Bye bye Paulina and Eye Candy Alec! Your humor will be missed. The Ballroom Hair? Not so much.

Don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. See Monday’s blog for all the details. Happy Hump Day everyone.

Tags: Writing by Donna
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So….it took me a bit longer than I’d hoped, but here it is!

First…on Amazing Race, all the same teams are racing and apparently I didn’t miss all that much except big rats and the great Mat Chase, which POUT! they didn’t show in the highlights. But we got some serious eyebrow porn from My Phil this time, so all is forgiven. And Danny and Oswald? I want to go shopping with you. How much fun are these guys, anyway? Stop for fruit, throw a wicket or two, and still make it to the mat in time for a mani-pedi. Much love. Favorite team twice over now.

So, Uchenna and Joyce are marked and will suffer a 30 minute delay if they aren’t first. There is a LOT of time spent in airports where basically the Guidos and Teri and Ian get screwed over repeatedly on standby. Mirna and Charla are actually decent racers with a minimum of screeching and a sudden departure of the I-use-wacky-accents-with-talking-to-foreign-people. All of this is good for them, but bad for me as I still really can’t stand them. The final seven teams end up in several clumps, with Mirna/Charla in the lead (again, I know. Surely the first sign of the apocalypse) along with Danny and Oswald (because, come on, the universe is only so ironic.) Then we have the BQ’s and Uchenna and Joyce duking it out in Clump Two. Eric and Danielle, who still don’t impress me, in their own little clump, but closely followed by Teri/Ian and Team Guido.

In the end, they make puzzles, haul wood (way to go BQs!) and throw things, Uchenna gets to jump with the Masai, which clearly touched him and made me like him for, like, a whole minute, then everyone is racing to the mat in their clumps. Because Karman thinks this is amusing, Mirna and Charla come in first AGAIN then don’t know what a catamaran is (that they just won) and it’s clear that Phil is still charmed by Charla because he obviously doesn’t have to race with her. Danny and Oswald come in a graceful and elegant (and well fed) second. Uchenna and Joyce come in third, wait their thirty minutes, and are still third, so maybe the BQ’s should have done the puzzle like all the other teams, but it was still cool to see them rock the physical task. They are fourth. Dani and Eric clump in at number 5, and after much fake drama, once again the Guidos are the better racers and come in one shy of being eliminated. That honor went to Teri and Ian. Who were so horrible to each other the first time they raced, so were far more tolerable and even likable at times on this race…but I can’t say I was crushed to see them go. Though I’d have easily sent a number of other teams first. Next week? Two hour special! Squee! Oh, and Charla in a suit of armor. I am not making that up.

Now, on to Dancing With The Stars, Week One, Part 2.

Will anyone surprise us tonight?

Hi Tom! Hi Samantha. Sam, you are very tan and I totally do not get what you are doing with your hair.

Wow, Cheryl is showing off the lean, mean, bod in Clothing By Edyta. Alec is wearing a very unfortunate beige body suit of some kind It should be a crime to do that to such a gorgeous frame. And the greased back hair lost some points for me, too. I don’t care if that’s the Ballroom Way. Karina is in red (shocking!) and Billy Ray’s look is actually is improved by Ballroom Hair. He has a bit of Maks Style, which I’m always 100% in favor of. Tony looks like he should be on a Tuesday Night Men’s Bowling league and Leeza proves a red, spangly ballroom dress slit down to there can still be frumpy. I have no idea what Joey was wearing (something from the Devil’s Wedding Party I think) because I was too busy ducking from the torpedoes Kym stashed in the bra of her dress. No way were those actual breasts. Honestly, she could hurt somebody with those things. Laila looked good in…something peach and her partner Maks had no sleeves and no shirt to speak of so who cares what she had on anyway? Edyta is wearing more than Cheryl, but only if you count flounces. John looks great in tails. Brian scares me, and Shandi would have looked very silicone Barbie except for Kym coming out first, which makes Shandi look almost normal. Elena and Clive look ever so elegant and black and powder blue. And while Heather’s dress and hair isn’t as butt ugly as last week, they didn’t fall all over themselves to do her any favors, either. Jonathan’s chest hair does help, however. Apolo and Julianne are going to a very grown up prom and I love them already.

And here we go…tonight we get either the quick step or the mambo. I hope at leastsome of my teams get the dance I’d rather see (which will pretty much always be the mambo, because I think the quickstep is the dance of the devil. Who makes people do that? Dance around all twinkly toed on crack? And on week 2? Mean, I tell you, mean!) I’d rather they just bring the sexy. Mambos all around!

But no. The women get the mambo, the men get, well…you know. So wrong.

First up, we get…

Apolo and Julianne who are the cutest things ever. Love them. They look great and I love her choreo for the quickstep. I’m actually really impressed with these two. Judges agree - 8, 9, 9 for 26.

Miss USA and Brian (who I feel should always have like ten exclamation points after his name to indicate his level of hyperness.) They mambo and I felt like she had a little bit of a hard time keeping up and they definitely didn’t seem connected to one another at all, mostly because she seemed too distracted by remembering her steps. I did like her better this time in the class clips. Judges agree with me on distracted stuff and they get 21.

Next is Clyde and Elena and poor Clyde has to overcome old rotator cuff injuries. He looked pretty light on his feet during their dance, but it’s a tough thing to overcome their height difference, though they certainly did a great job trying. The fans certainly loved them. Judges thought they improved greatly and did a good job. Scores 6, 6, 6 for 18. I thought that was a hair low, but compared to the level of skill of some of the others, probably fair.

Leeza and Tony are up next and Leeza is celebrating her 50th tonight. I hope I look that great–okay, I don’t look that great now, so I have no hope, but she looks wonderful and has a great attitude. I hope she loosens up a little tonight. I fear she will not last long unless she connects better with viewers. Well, this viewer anyway. And I like her. But there’s a lot of cute and adorable on the show this season and I don’t think she’ll overcome that. Mambo time. She’s having a good time, I think, for her, but she just has this super controlled way about her that doesn’t translate well to ballroom. A shame, because she has the skill set, she just can’t let go. Judges were all kind to the birthday girl, but all seemed to agree she needs to just let it all hang out. I’m pretty sure this is letting it all hang out for Leeza, but she was having fun out there and that was nice to see. Scores - 7,7,7 = 21 which was more than fair.

Time for Ian and Cheryl - woo hoo! Cute dad, cute puppy. Hope he can pull it off. They start off great - wish they were wearing bright cheery colors as the other couples did - this is too happy a dance for all black — and as I watch them I can’t help but wonder how much pressure Cheryl must feel to be super great with every performance. Black buzz kill attire aside, they look lovely and I think her choreo is great as always. I admit I enjoyed watching Apolo and Julianne more, but they did a super job, too.

Judges - Carrie thinks they’re great and want even more, Len and Bruno want a better frame and less hoppy bunny. Bruno? Kisses. Scores - (may I again say I have NO idea what is up with Samantha’s hair? It’s like it was originally an updo that came loose in a wind storm.) 7, 8, 7 = 22 (to huge boos from the audience.) I might have given an 8, but that’s close to fair.

Commercial. I’m totally watching Bachelor this season. I saw him interviewed after they finished taping and he was so cute about how much he loves the woman he ends up with, I was suckered in. I’m such a marshmallow.

Next up Paulina and Alex. Love her. What IS he wearing? And I like him better without Ballroom Hair. Did I mention I love her? She is so one of my heroines. I totally identify with her. Well, except for that whole super model thing. Because, yeah, I’m no super model. At any age. So, here we go with mambo. She looks great. Very 50’s, love the hair. She definitely goes for it, but she is right. She has no inner Latina. And gorgeous super model gams but perhaps a little tanning lotion wouldn’t hurt. And girl can’t point her toes to save her life. Still, I love, just with she was more a natural at this. I fear for her longevity. Plus, I’m so shallow, but she’s so super tall, I’d love to see her with a taller partner. I know, they don’t have one, and Alec gives it his absolute swiveling hipped best, but…that’s just me.

Judges? Bruno says she’s Fifth Avenue Mambo. Carrie Ann admires the extension on her six foot long legs. Len wanted more raunch but was glad to see her having fun. I was glad they found positive things to say. They were pretty harsh last week and could have been this week, but it’s supposed to be FUN, guys. Glad they gave her a little credit. Scores - 7, 7, 7 = 21. Very generous, but yay!

New resident expert Jimmy Kimmel? I want front row for that.

Karina and Billy Ray are up and everyone on the planet agrees he was the worst last week, including the judges. Will he improve? I still say it won’t matter for at least a week or two how he does. He’s humbly adorable and Hannah Montana’s teen fan base will keep him in. (Sorry, Leeza.) But I am hoping he does better tonight. The practice footage is hilarious, but not promising. And honestly, crazy bear in the swamp has to try quickstep? Ultimate cruelty there. But he goes, and I, for one, am rooting for him. Here we go - now he will probably get grief for the guitar and the Elvis outfit, but I liked it. And yay! He’s not great, but he is really really trying hard - including counting under his breath which I thought was too cute. (Mostly because this would be me out there, so I am identifying in a big way.) Cool that they let them dance to Johnny Cash Ring of Fire. I really thought this was possibly about as good as he’s capable of doing. Was it great? No. But for him? It was gold medal. Karina looked stunning and that dress was a perfect compliment to his less than graceful bunny hopping. She did a good job with choreo and I am actually liking her this season. (The second sign of the apocalypse.) All the credit in the world to her for getting that perfomance out of him. Hell, he deserves to stay after that. I’d vote for him. And how relieved is he that that is over?

Judges? Lenny says he took a musical valium and did a good job. Bruno says he was a southern gentleman. Carrie Ann says he wins Most Improved. Scores - 7, 7, 7 = 21 which was super (last week was 13.)

Heather and Jonathan are up. She’s dressed and styled better this week. I wondered how they’d deal with the super short latin style outfits. They made her a fringy pantsuit thing and though it’s not quite fabulous, it will get the job done (and is still miles better than that horrid dress they put her in last week.) She looks great, the rehearsal footage is so impressive, and she’s more likable this week, too. Here we go - they start off with eye popping flipping choreo and she really makes that pant suit work. She’s the most natural in her own skin so far with the women this week, and does a great job. She has great showmanship, too and plays to the audience. And Jonathan is super cute. Good job, charity campaigner.

Judges - Carrie Ann says the difficulty was crazy and they nailed it. Lenny says it was great. Bruno says she was red hot warp drive. (More love.) Scores - 8, 8, 8=24 and well earned.

Next is John and Edyta, and might I say just how enjoyable this season is shaping up to be. Fun cast! These two are very charming together and I think he’s lucky to have her. So, John is looking very striking in his tails and Edyta is looking equally striking in a lot of bare skin, and here we go. They look lovely. Very elegant and graceful and he does a good job of keeping up. Her flowing outfit and bright smile go a long way, too. Not the best, but I was grinning the whole time. A lot of fun.

Judges - Bruno said he totally sold the role. Carrie Ann said they pulled it together. Uncle Lenny said it was a good performance, well done. Scores - 7,7,7 = 21 which is generous. I’d have gone more 6’s, but add in a point for sheer entertainment value, than, yeah, okay.

Time for Laila and Maks. I have high expectations for this one. Should be the mambo of the night. Loved Maks! In the gym! More of that, please. Laila cracks me up. Love those two together. Here we go. And Bruno is finally going to get his tramp, and Lenny his raunch. Laila is gorgeous and completely unafraid of shaking her groove thang. Girl gots moves. And Maks? Swoon. Together these two sizzle like we knew they would. His grin is wicked. Dance of the night for me (Sorry Apolo, but you’re a close second.) I don’t think I’ve ever grinned so much watching this show as I have tonight. Great time - and good latin music. Thank you stoner music dude!

Judges - Lenny says it was the best mambo of the night. Bruno says she’s mistress of the art of seduction and Carrie Ann says that was Hotttt. And that she worked the floor, and she worked Maks. Yeah baby. Scores - 9, 9, 9 = 27. That’s about right. Samantha totally calls Maks out on whining about how sore he was after the gym, but he gets his back by showing off some pretty nice guns. Ha.

Wrapping up the night in the Prime Pimp Spot, is Joey and Kym. Yay! Loved his mugging for the camera. She really has her hands full. His tux of the devil is a bit much, but hair and beard action is pretty sexy. I want to strap Kym into her dress more, but she looks pretty devilish, too. You can tell that Joey really doesn’t come into his own or get serious until he’s actually on stage, but when he does, he brings it and is very charming and charismatic. Good thing. The opening is very cute, and it segues nicely into the real dance. I just noticed the J and F on the flaps of his tails. Overkill, but funny. They look really wonderful together and match up nicely physically. He looks like he’s trimmed down significantly in just a few weeks, too. Good job. The best quick step of the night. Nice way to end the show.

Judges - Carrie Ann says she loved the show they put on. Uncle Lenny says strong performance, well done. Bruno didn’t get the cute part, but loved the real part. Oh Bruno. Scores - (a hahahaahhaah everyone behind them in the back room is doing the “George Michael” that Bruno didn’t understand. Love that! Ha!) 8, 8, 8 = 24 (I think that’s low, esp if they gave Laila 9’s.)

Here is the score board for this week and last week, ranked by combined total. I’m pretty okay with these standings. No real quibble.

Out of a possible 60:

Maks & Laila - 23 + 27 = 50
Kym & Joey - 24 + 24 = 48
Julianne & Anton - 21 + 26 = 47
Cheryl & Ian – 21 + 22 = 43
Jonathan & Heather - 18 + 24 = 42
Alec & Paulina – 19 + 21 = 40
Brian & Shandi – 19 + 21 = 40
Edyta & John – 17 + 21 = 39
Leeza & Tony - 15 + 21 = 36
Elena & Clyde - 16 + 18 = 34
Karina & Billy – 13 + 21 = 34

Now for MY list. While I really enjoy the cast this season, and there is no clear favorite, I do have my favorites.
At the top would be Joey/Kym, Laila/Maks, Apolo/Julianne, Cheryl/Ian, John/Edyta
Following them, would be Heather/Jonathan, Shandi/Brian, Paulina/Alec, Clyde/Elena, Billy Ray/Karina, and Leeza/Tony.

I think the only pair I really don’t find myself enjoying for entertainment is Leeza/Tony. Meaning that while they are perfectly pleasant, I don’t look forward to seeing what they’re going to do on the floor. That same feeling would extend to Clyde, sorry to say. And Shandi/Paulina would be next on that list, though I love Paulina otherwise.

All the top teams, plus Heather and Billy Ray (now anyway) are teams I am excited to watch, just to see what happens next.

And I have NO idea who is going home tomorrow. I’d have to say Leeza. Who do you think is going home?

Don’t forget to enter the SHaQ Attack contest this week. See Monday’s blog for details.

Tags: Writing by Donna
11 Comments »

I hate to start the week without some juicy MAC, but a very long work day was followed by a very long time being stuck in my rassafrassing truck that is (clearly) still not working right despite the reassurances of my lovely mechanic…and hence, Amazing Race still sits on my TiFaux, awaiting viewing and MACing. Pout! (And I even remembered to set it up to tape late for the basketball game schedule.) Sorry, gang!

That means a double-header tonight - Dancing With The Stars + Amazing Race = double MAC in the morning. Can we handle it? (Of course we can, silly wabbits, we’re happenin’ Blog Babes!)

The other good news is….now you don’t have to wait until tomorrow to start this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. Last week was an easy one, so this week you actually have to do a little scavenging. Here we go: Which one of my stories featured a Polynesian heroine? Name her and the title, and you’re entered to win a free book! Winner announced Friday. Just send your entries to donna@donnakauffman.com with Aloha! in the subject line.

Enjoy your Monday…and tune in tomorrow for more MAC than you can possibly stand!

Or, you know, a news story about a strangled garage mechanic and a romance writer looking for bail money.

Tags: Writing by Donna
1 Comment »

I’m thinking no. I watched Survivor, and even when they FINALLY mixed things up between the poor starving Ravuvians and the fat n’ happy Motomites, I wasn’t all that excited. I still like Yao Man….and that’s about it. Even he knows his chances are slim. Mostly like Earl except he’s letting power go to his head. Can’t stand Rocky, felt sorry for Anthony, and all the rest of the new Ravuvians look the same with their shirts off and even then I can’t find myself caring. Oh, and Lisi? Is batshit crazy. I knew it back with the Ant Hammer of Death. So…um….yeah. Survivor: Fiji is like one tiny step up from the current season of Apprentice. And we all know how little that means. No big shock they are both produced by the same guy.

Anthony goes home. Ravu the Man Tribe will get BSC Lisi, which seems perfectly fair to me. Moto keeps motoring with new and improved Yao and Earl. I want Boo gone, and the bitchy one who wouldn’t tell Dreamz how to make coffee. That one. I want Yao to find the idol so he doesn’t get voted off and end the show completely for me. I want Rocky to be tied to a stake and have fire ants crawl over him while Anthony laughs and laughs and boils more water. Other than that? I don’t care much what happens. Oh, and Probst? Shut up, already.

On to far more entertaining stuff…like the winner of this week’s SHaQ Attack contest! The free book of choice goes to Blog Babe Bailey!! Woo hoo and a scoop of ice cream!

Tune in Monday, where I will rant about all things Amazing Race and prepare for Week 2 of Dancing With the Stars.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Tags: Writing by Donna
9 Comments »

So, we’ve arrived at the Top 10 on American Idol. These are the ones who get to cut the CD, get to go on tour, and essentially get to play rock star for a little while longer. In that respect, tonight’s vote off was ridiculous. In every other way, not so much.

Okay. Ryan starts us out by pulling them out in groups of three, which made me think one from each group would be bottom three, one group being completely safe. When he pulled Melinda, Phil, and Blake, my feeling was Phil was in the bottom three. Nope. All safe. Okay. This meant it was going to be Haley, Stephanie, and possibly Sanjaya, maybe Gina. So he pulls the second group out - LaKisha, Chris S, and Jordin…and I got a little panicky. Nope. All safe. Group three? Gina, Sanjaya, and Haley. I completely thought they were bottom three, and the remaining two, Stephanie and Chris R, safe. Just to mix things up.

Except no. Gina, Sanjaya and Haley? All safe. This week we get a bottom two instead. Which means, yup, it’s Stephanie and Chris R. Now, I called Stephanie in the bottom three, so no surprise in that respect, except she wasn’t supposed to be the one going home from that group of three. And she definitely wasn’t supposed to be standing next to Chris R, who we all know I don’t care for a whole lot, but I definitely thought he had the fan base to support a longer run than this.

But…here we are. Stephanie and Chris. And I honestly didn’t know who would leave…and I sort of thought Steph should stay over Chris, because I happen to think she has loads more talent and ability, she just got plowed under by Melinda, Jordin, and LaKisha. Chris got plowed under by…Chris. No one is exactly handing him his hat vocally on the guys side so if he’s bottom two, well then more of America agrees with me than I thought and he only has himself to blame.

In the end, Peter Noone sings, Lulu wails, and Stephanie calls it a day. Again, not shocking, but not how I thought it would go down. And not tonight. Not for her. Another week or two, but not tonight. She deserved the tour over some others up there.

One thing though…this will surely put the fear in the rest of ‘em! Like they aren’t already stressed out enough. Who’d a thought a girl would go home this early with all the less than stellar guys up there? Not me. Sorry, Stephanie! You weren’t gonna win, but you shoulda made Top 10.

In other MAC news…I taped Survivor but can’t give it the MAC attention it deserves tonight, but hopefully for Friday!

Don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. It couldn’t possibly be any easier. See Wednesday’s post for details.

So…who goes home next week? Discuss!

Tags: Writing by Donna
7 Comments »

We’re down to 11. Live! It’s American Idol.

British Invasion Night. Lulu and Peter Noone are both lookin’ good… Lulu coaches the girls, Peter takes on the guys. Lulu is all serious business and gritty voice. Peter is all bouncy Don’t Worry, Be Happy with killer baby blues. I just want to hear the kids sing. (Songs that were written and performed before they were born. Heck, in some cases before I was born.)

Haley is up first…she’s decided to distract us from the fact that she’s bottom three material (which is even worse when you consider most of the guys belong there before all of the girls) by wearing shorts and showing off the gams. I’m thinking it will work with Simon. Just sayin’ Lulu gives good advice. Haley is singing Tell Him…and here we go.
Working the legs and bouncing, uh, attributes, right in Simon’s face (smart girl) can only distract us so far from the fact that while she can sing, she’s not a show stopper. Never gonna be. Sorry, Haley. Did you ever think about being a Rockette instead? She gets a standing O. I have no idea why.

Judges – Randy says she has the yo factor. Paula has returned to her incoherent past. Simon says she’s a naughty little thing (See! I told you!!) But he agrees with me about what part of her performance will have people talking. And it ain’t the singing.

Chris R is up and goes with Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying. Peter agrees with me that he hasn’t seen much of the whole star quality thing with Chris yet. Wonder if tonight will change both our minds. Sitting on a stool and going all acoustic on us, I do enjoy the non-bouncy Chris a lot more, but his voice just doesn’t inspire me to rush to iTunes and download. Still, better than before. And the guys need all the good PR they can get. And the smile is a cutie patootie.

Judges? Randy says he’s excited about the show tonight, and with that, I’ll agree. Much better already than last week’s fiasco. Paula…take another sip of Coke. Simon says it was his best performance and he made it his own. Agreed.

Stephanie is next with a Dusty Springfield classic…You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me. First, the boots? Just say no. She goes the understated route, and it’s not a bad one, just not a memorable one. When she gets to the good part…it doesn’t bring people to their feet in the way it would with Melinda or LaKiki. So…good job. But just good.

Judges - Randy pulls the pitchy card. Paula is…unfortunately not the new Paula some more. Simon says she’s losing her edge and it was just good. Again, we agree. Scary, isn’t it?

Yay, time for Blake! He does the Zombies’ Time of the Season. Peter says he likes the idea of updating it but I’m not sure he gets beat boxing. I think Blake’s beat box would work great with the back beat sound effects of the original, so cool! Except the rehearsal footage didn’t wow me. I want wow, Blake. Give it to me! Here we go… and oh yeah, I’m loving it. Great opening. He needs to stay on the beat of the band, he’s a bit behind it, I think, but I really love this version. Good showman, interesting take. I’ll be interested to hear what the judges say. The vocals are intentionally scatty…wonder if they’ll call it pitchy. Love the keyboard at the end. This? I will download.

Judges – Randy says cool, edgy, vibey, huge yo factor. Yay. Paula really really…agrees. Simon says a million times better than last week, strongest performance so far. Yay Squared. I actually went back and watched it again. Mostly to wipe out the Ryan Version 2.0 from my brain. Love that he can make fun of himself, but Ack!

Now we get LaKiki who has no experience with Brit Tunes. Should be interesting. She’s learning from scratch and narrows it down to You’re My World and Shirley Bassey’s Diamonds Are Forever. Lulu does her best to talk her into You’re My World. Better choice I’m thinkin, but which way did she go? Here we go…and considering the bling she’s sporting, I guess we have our answer. And one verse in, she’s already done Shirley proud. Girl can sang. And I liked the elegance and the way she carried the Good Bondian Vibe throughout. Sustained standing O.

Judges? Randy says he wasn’t feelin the KiKi in it. Paula disagrees and…okay. Simon says we know she’s a great singer, but says it was Kiki at 50. Disagree. See, we don’t always share one brain. And she handles the Ryan Interview brilliantly. Big parade clap for Kiki.

Up next is Phil is singing Tobacco Road. (British Invasion song? Hunh. I didn’t know that.) I happen to love this song. I don’t happen to love Phil. So I’m torn. I don’t think I want him to win me over with this one. I think I want him to leave me this song the way I remember it. Sigh. Oh, okay…here we go…if we must. Yeah, it’s not horrible, but mostly due to some baritone back up singer who saves the refrain. And a great guitar player. When Phil is out there on is own? Man, I’d rather hear Diamond Dave sing this. Erase, erase, erase. But then I’m biased.

Judges? Randy says it was pretty good. Paula echoes Randy, just takes twice as long to manage the same sentiment. Simon says he wasn’t crazy about it….because it’s not believable without the grit and Phil isn’t gritty….aaaaand, we’re back in sync.

Now? It’s Jordin Sparks with I Who Have Nothing. Big song for a big voice. Here we go. Great arrangement and I think she strikes a nice balance between understated and pleading big vocals. One of the top tonight, I think. Especially since she’s only 17 and poured a lot of believable emotion into a song she can’t possibly truly get. Good job.

Judges? Randy says it was great. Paula is saying something while Simon is winking at someone. Simon says it was a depressing song that she sung beautifully.

Oh, and can I just pause and say how great the band is this year? The addition of the strings and brass is really a nice upgrade. The arrangements are better, too.

Back to our regularly scheduled Idol…

….and Sanjaya, who has no idea what he wants to sing. Because he’s all over that old Brit Rock. (Kill Me Now!) He decides, in his infinite wisdom, to tackle You Really Got Me. (No, really. KILL ME NOW!) Do we have to listen to this? I’m still recovering from Phil trashing my first love, now this? Honestly, the things I do in the name of blogging. More like a flogging, this. Now he says maybe he’ll cover one of Peter’s Herman’s Hermits songs - Something Tells Me I’m Into Something Good. MUCH better song choice. Mostly because I could care less about this song. Leave the Kinks ALONE! Peter??? What’s wrong with you man…don’t tell him to sing a song he can’t possibly handle with that soft voice and total lack of stage domination. Sheesh. I need ice cream. LOTS of ice cream. Aaaaaaand, here we go with? Oh, just shoot me. He goes with the Kinks. Because nothing says gritty rock like Sanjaya Malakar. And you just know the teeny boppers are sobbing his name…as proven by the sobbing teenybopper in the audience. And he tries to get all nasty with Paula. No, that wasnt a typo. I need a shower. More ice cream…and a shower. But hey, give the kid credit, he does totally go for this. Totally. For that he gets my respect. But for the love of GOD stop showing the sobbing girl already!

Judges? Discuss. I need some air. Randy says it was his best to date. Paula says it was fun. Simon? Reality check please. He says the little girls face says it all…except I don’t think he gets that she’s sobbing with uncontrollable pre-adolescent lust. Ew. Just….make it stop. Jurassic erase. What would be hilarious? Is if he goes home this week. I’m thinking not.

Gina is next…with the Stones Paint It Black. Ooooh, strobes. All I could think when she started singing was how much I’d have loved to hear this song on either season of Rock Star. On American Idol…not so much as it turns out. She does a fine American Idol job with it, and it’s the right song choice, but I’m seeing her limitations in the year of the Big Belters. Kudos for going with the new arrangement and for tackling Mick. She closes well.

Judges? Randy is in my zone. Paula says big improvement over last week. And I realize I have no idea what she sang last week. Yikes. Simon says there were moments of complete torture in that. And, harsh, but….yeah. Style over content - agreed, deux. Ryan….enough already. Dead horse? Beating it? Yeah.

Up now…Chris Sligh, who I love in his Peter Banter. Maybe it’s my Kevin Smith love that shines a bit Chris’ way. Who knows. But he loves Brit Invasion music and I’m dying to hear someone claim it back. So far Blake has really been the only one who was truly one with the material. So, he’s chosen She’s Not There by the Zombies. (squee!) Don’t you dare let me down! This show owes me tonight. Big. So, make it your own, Chris, but just don’t jack with the melody, ‘kay? Opening notes are consoling me. And he’s in the audience…singing with that lovely Chris voice. I’m thawing. Except, if you’re going to walk through the audience, don’t completely ignore them, dude. If you can’t deal with the distraction, then don’t court it. Back to the music….that I’m liking. Yay, finally, I don’t have to bleach my brain. Not sure he man handled the refrain completely, but miles better than most of the competition tonight.

Judges? Randy says he’s going for it, was a bit off in the audience, ended strong. Paula likes the sartorial splendor, thought the vocals were good. Simon says he did his thing, thought he handled the audience well, and did his thing better than last week.

Last up is MindyDoo…closin the show. As it should be. She sings As Long As He Needs Me. Torch song…and out of her comfort zone, she says. I’m betting she gets it just right. And here we go. She does just fine…and I’m a little bored with the song because I don’t know it, but nothing wrong with her performance at all. (And what is wrong with that poor sobbing child anyway? Leave her alone already production people!!)

Judges? Randy says they saved the best for last, yet again. Paula…doesn’t matter. Simon wonders if she’s really as nice as she seems. And agrees that she is. He also agrees that it’s a boring song, but that she brought it.

In closing…my favorites? Blake by a mile…and Chris S was okay, too. (I know, the guys! Who’da thunk it!) I thought Melinda and LaKisha did just fine, as did Jordin, but not my favorite in terms of my entertainment viewing pleasure. Upbeat next week ladies, enough with the ballads. Bottom three? Honestly…and I hate to admit this in print, but I’d put Stephanie, Haley, and Phil there. Not Sanjaya. I know. But this week, boy went for it big and he deserves credit for that. Not that he’s going home anyway, but he wasn’t the worst. Yes, I believe this is, in fact, the first sign of the apocalypse.

And that poor girl…I hope she’s home schooled because she’s either going to be a rock star to all her friends for getting the spotlight on national television and hugging every Idol…or her life is going to be an unmitigated living hell. Let’s pray for the former shall we? And pass her the Kleenex already.

Discuss!

Oh yeah - SHaQ Attack. Because it’s Wednesday, how about you just send me an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with Pick Me! in the subject line. And come Friday, I will do just that with one of ya. Winner gets his/her choice from my website bookshelf.

Who’s going home tonight?

Tags: Writing by Donna
10 Comments »

Dancing With The Stars! WOOT!! I’m baaaaaack with the MAC!

Yay, it’s Tom Bergeron! (Unfortunately, Samantha Harris is also back. And in fear of a wardrobe malfunction. Ah well. I refuse to kill my buzz.) Carrie Ann, Uncle Lenny, & Bruno are back, too. Woo hoo. We’ve known about the celebs for awhile, so all that’s left is to find out which instructors we’re going to get this year.

Here we go! (To Ballroom Blitz. Yeah, Stoner Music Dude is still on payroll, too.) This season we get to goggle over Maks (Squee!), Cheryl, Edyta, Tony, Alec is back!, Karina, Kym, Elena, and new-to-me Brian, and Julianne. (No Louis! Sob.)

The pairs are: Ian Ziering & Cheryl, Paulina Porizkova & Alec, Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina (yikes), Leeza Gibbons & Tony, Joey Fatone & Kym, Laila Ali & Maksim, John Ratzenberger & Edyta, Miss USA Shandi &Brian, Clyde Drexler & Elena, Heather Mills & Jonathan, and Apolo Anton Ohno (squee!) & Julianne.

They all look lovely, buffed, and shiny…except Heather Mills who….wow, could they have made her look any less flattering? I mean, she’s an attractive woman, and yet somehow they’ve made her look like the “before” picture on a celebrity makeover show. Yikes. (Also, her “description” is “Charity Campaigner.” Which, I know that is what she does, but it’s awkward sounding. No one is going to mention she happens to be Paul McCartney’s ex, but we’re all thinkin’ it!! Like she’d be on the show if she had always just been a charity campaigner. Doesn’t Charity Fundraiser sound better? Something? Anything? Maybe it’s a British thing.)

Four weeks of pre season training this time instead of six. But, to make up for this, Tom tells us that there will be no vote off this week. Everyone performs this week, we vote, then they all perform again next week, then we vote again, then the combined scores (judges and viewers) from both weeks will determine who goes home next Tuesday in the first elimination night. Shew! But yay, more dancing for us!

First up is Ian & Cheryl. (I saw Ian in an interview and he joked about how psyched he was that he got the two time champion as his instructor because he thought for sure they’d give her the lousy dancer guy this season. Then it sank in that maybe they thought he was the Lousy Dancer Guy. Cute!)

Doing the cha cha cha to Mony, Mony (what? This is a surprise to you? It’s so latin and all) here we go. So, first off, Ian is not Lousy Dancer Guy. He says he’s in it to win it, and it sure looks like he’s off to a good start. Cheryl, who always looks great, looks even sleeker this season. I guess going from last season, to the tour, to this season would do that to a girl. They really work the song and it’s classic Cheryl choreo, but I realized at the end that I’d spent the whole time watching her. Not intentionally, she just draws the eye. So I had to go back and watch him, just to make sure he was doing more than simply holding her upright. He did just fine, btw. But he might have to work on getting that charisma to shine a bit more – she’s pretty shiny. I think they’ll go far. Great kick off to Season Four!

Judges: Lenny says Cheryl’s lucky to have another good partner. Bruno says he needs more bump n grind, and Carrie Ann says they had great energy. All good. Scores: 7, 7, 7 for 21 (which is good to see they’re not losing their minds on opening night.) Fair score.

Next? Paulina (super model and klutz) & Alec (season 1 champ.) Their interplay is adorable. Love them! Love her. Dancing the fox trot to It’s Too Darn Hot here we go. Now, she is tall and so is Alec, but she needs someone even taller, I think. I’m guessing he’s as tall as it gets, however. They do look lovely together. Very enjoyable.

Judges? Lenny says she has lovely lines when alone, but needs to work on the partnering part. Carrie Ann says she has great lines and great potential. Bruno says he thinks they have class oozing from every pore and that she is breakfast, lunch, and dinner at Tiffany’s. God, I’ve missed Bruno. Scores: 6, 6, 7 for 19. (Again, ignore the boos, there has to be somewhere for them to grow to.)

Now we have, Billy Ray (what is UP with that hair? The mullet looked better. But he’s adorable and humble, so I forgive.) & Karina (no forgiving here. Sorry. However, and my apologies, Billy, but she was SO pissed that she lost last year, so it’s rather amusing that she got who looks to be Lousy Dancer Guy. Ha.) Dancing the cha cha cha to…I have no idea, here we go. Karina in a spike mullet wig, three bangles, and a tassle, does her best to distract us from the proof that Billy might be able to sing, but the boy has no rhythm. Still, he tries. Hard. And he’s not as bad as Tucker from last year, but it’s going to be a short season for Our Billy. (Okay, am I the only one who laughed my butt off when he de-wigged Karina at the end? Just me? Alrighty then. Ah hahahahahhaha.)

Judges? Carrie Ann stutters, then says he’s rock n roll, but that was no cha cha. Duh. Bruno says it was like a crazy bear lost in a swamp. (Are there bears in swamps? I love him.) Lenny says it was more hoe down than cha cha cha (which is true) and their scores are? 4, 5, 4 = 13.

Up next is Leeza & Tony. This looks to be a good pair. And she’s 50? There is hope for me yet! Dancing the fox trot to Strangers in the Night, here we go. They move at a rather glacial pace and she’s more an obvious beginner than, say, Ian, or Paulina, but she stays on track despite being tight and Tony does a nice job partnering her. However, while she’ll go longer than Billy, she’s not a front runner. Or even a middle runner. Yet! Old Broad Power!

Judges? Bruno says she needs to relax (very true!) Lenny says it had good technicality but needs flow. Carrie Ann says she brought the character of the dance to life (also true) but needs to let go more. And Leeza has a good sense of humor. Scores? 5, 5, 5 = 15. (Sam? Pull the damn dress up.)

It’s Joey & Kym (Cutest Couple Ever) next, who should be loads of fun. He can hip hop…but can the boy ballroom? Dancing the cha cha cha to the Bee Gees (Ha!) here we go. Clearly they’re going for the kind of humor Jerry and George went for, which is classic….except Joey can actually dance, too. I think these two are going to be entertaining as hell to watch this season. Count me in! Vote for Joey!

Judges? Carrie Ann says the competition is ON. Lenny says it was the first step on a long path. Bruno says Joey sold it. I’ll agree with that. Scores: 8, 8, 8 = 24. (A bit enthusiastic, I think, he wasn’t that good - but yay!)

Now we get Laila and Maks. (Squee!!!!!) Okay, I love me some Maks, but their first meeting was hi-larious. Laila is gorgeous, but clearly there’s a lotta muscle on that woman. She carries herself like she’s her dad’s daughter, both of them world boxing champs. Clearly Maks has NO idea what to do with all that. I loved it. And she wasn’t shy at all, which just made him more of a stuttering mess. Ha! This is going to be fun.

She’s gorgeous and she pushes him around, which I love. But he’s no softie and he gives it right back. He admires her work ethic and she wants him to work her hard. Great match up. Can’t wait to see them dance. Dancing fox trot to How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You, here we go! I think starting her off with an elegant dance puts her at her weakest, given her lack of natural “girly girl-ness” so, given that, she did very well. A lot of natural power to harness and make look graceful. I can’t wait to see her go for a latin dance. The tv might explode.

Judges: Bruno says it oozed sex appeal and agrees with me about the latin. Carrie Ann says she’s seamless and effortless and loves her natural strength. Lenny says “floats like a butterfly, glides like a swan” – ha! Scores: 7, 8, 8 = 23. (Didn’t deserve to be ranked above Ian and Cheryl, but good nonetheless.)

Next is John & Edyta, who are going to be every bit as much fun to watch as she was with George, and Kym was with Jerry last season. He is loving this and it shows. Dancing the cha cha cha to Chain of Fools they have a blast out there – and he’s not bad! For being a last minute fill in, he’s doing great. I hope they hang around for a while. (Oh, and in my next life I want Edyta’s body. It’s not too much to ask, is it? I’d even give up ice cream.)

Judges: Carrie Ann loved him. Lenny agrees, and Bruno follows suit. I love him, too. Scores – 6, 5, 6 = 17.

We get Miss USA Shandi next…who is apparently paired with Super Energetic Guy Brian. Dang, he makes Louis! look low key. Are his eyebrows on permanent arch? They are paired well, I think. Uber Barbie and Ken. Dancing the fox trot in a very uber energetic way, here we go. Both are okay, though Shandi has to watch the leg extensions/toe points on occasion. I think they will be stylistically good as the season goes on, but I’m not in lurve with them like I am a few other teams. Golf clap, though.

Judges? Bruno agrees with me on the leg extension, as does Carrie Ann. Lenny is a bit critical, and she cheerfully gives it back in a good interplay, so another golf clap for her. Scores? 6, 6, 7 = 19.

Clyde “the glide” Drexler is up next, with new regular instructor, Elena (who we’ve seen before in group dances - she is the wife of one of the other pro’s but I can’t remember which one.) He is taaaallllll, and she is…..not. But they are cute together and he’s going for it. He doesn’t have the Emmitt Charm, but he is a warm guy who looks to be having a good time. They dance the cha cha cha to Stevie Wonder and he’s got skillz, she’s a cutie. They won’t go all the way, he doesn’t have the Jerry/Emmitt fan base I don’t think, but he’ll be around for a little while and I look forward to him loosening up and having more fun.

Judges: They all say the same thing – he needs to loosen up and use his range and height to his advantage. Scores – 6, 5, 5 = 16.

Now we get Jonathan and Heather, and while I can’t say I’ve been a big fan of hers as soon-to-be-ex of Paul, but I am interested to see how she does with her artificial limb. Dancing the fox trot to I’m In Heaven, here we go. As it happens, she has more to do to overcome the ugliest dress and hairstyle ever (which is saying something on this show) than she does her lack of leg. In fact, she does quite well. Other than adding in a few little steps to get in the right position, if they hadn’t told us she had an artificial leg, you’d have never known. Very inspiring.

Judges: Carrie Ann tells her to watch her upper line, as does Bruno and Lenny. I really liked how they each paid respect to the challenge she faces, but judged her on her dancing. Golf clap judges! Scores – 6, 6, 6 = 18.

Last to go, my swoonie Anton and his equally cutie patootie partner, Julianne. They ooze charm and bring the cuteness, but in a fun way. He’s my odds on fave, so I hope he lives up to my personal hype. His pro is only 18 and the youngest instructor ever on DWTS – match made in heaven, I’m thinkin! Dancing the cha cha cha to Let’s Hear It For The Boy, they come out strong and stay that way. He’s a little rough around the edges, but not as much as you’d think given how little dance time he got (he competed in the world cup last week! How is he doing that?) Like Joey, he has boat loads of charm, though in a sexier rather than funnier kinda way, and I predict they’re gonna be around awhile. Yay us viewers!

Judges? Bruno says a joy to watch and has the highest level of potential. Carrie Ann thinks he’s a swoonie, too. Lenny says he’s got to get his line in shape, but his cha cha cha was cha cha charming. Scores – 7, 7, 7 = 21.

The rankings at the end of Week 1:

Kym & Joey - 24
Maks & Laila - 23
Cheryl & Ian – 21
Julianne & Anton - 21
Alec & Paulina – 19
Brian & Shandi – 19
Jonathan & Heather - 18
Edyta & John – 17
Elena & Clyde - 16
Leeza & Tony - 15
Karina & Billy – 13 (Karma meet Karina, Karina, meet Karma.)

I’d make a few adjustments to the order, but not anything too crazy, so I can live with this. And while I think I’d rank Cheryl higher, given she’s the two time champ, it’s probably a Good Thing she’s not in the top spot going in. A little under the radar action wouldn’t hurt.

My faves so far - Paulina, Anton, Joey, Ian & John. Laila’s in the running, too. That’s over half the pack right off! Looks like a good season ahead. And there’s no one I’m dying to see booted. I’m simply not as charmed by Leeza, Clyde, Billy Ray, Shandi, and Heather, but they don’t make me cringe or anything.

Who do I think should go home? Sorry, Billy Ray. (Karina, don’t let the studio door hit ya.) Who do I think will go home? Given Billy Ray and Karina’s fan base, I’m thinking Leeza is the one in danger. Of course, no one is going home until they all dance again next week. Looks like we get the killer Quick Step early on (meanies!) and the mambo. Can I choose which team I want to do which dance? Pretty please with Maks on top?

Aaaaaaand, we’re official. Discuss!

SHaQ Attack has been moved to tomorrow - but I promise to make it uber easy since it’s a short week!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Thanks to the basketball schedule and my work schedule, I only got about five minutes of Amazing Race tifaux’d. Dangit. So no MAC from me. Hopefully I’ll be getting a tape of the episode from a pal in time to watch before next week. I understand it was a non-elimination round, so at least there was that.

In other news…I am SO done with winter. No, really. And doubly done with car mechanics. I want sun, warmth, and my vehicle back in running condition. Preferably not in that order, though I’m beginning to have my suspicions.

So, now that I’m done venting, what are we all reading? I finished Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips, but haven’t had time to dig into anything else yet. What’s on your nightstand?

Tune in tomorrow for the next SHaQ Attack contest! (I promise not to let my general crankiness impact the difficulty level of the hunt. Okay, I’ll try. Blame it on my auto mechanic and his empty promises. I wonder if he reads blogs…)

Tags: Writing by Donna
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