Well….that was quite a night now, wasn’t it? I just have to ask, straight out, what is person who chooses which music is used smoking? And could you please give some of it to Carrie Ann so she can chill the hell out on the whole lift thing. Sheesh. Talk about sucking the fun out of the show.

Oh, and yes, Samantha Harris looks great for having a three week old at home, but I MISS DREW, DAMMIT! Boy, it’s just so much worse having her back after having had someone who actually makes the show, you know, fun. And wow, was the fun missing last night.

Not on the dance floor. And that’s the shame of it, it was actually a really interesting night, full of fiery paso dobles and lovely Viennese waltzes. Imagine how much better it would have been with music that actually goes with the dance The theme from Star Wars? Oh my god. Poor Edyta, but you rocked that number, babe! 10 to you just for being able to choreo ANYthing to that horrible music. And Mr. Bojangles? For a WALTZ???? All of the music was just godawful. And distracting. In fact, that was the worst week of music collectively in all five seasons of the show. Which, you know, with stoned music guy doing the choosing, is saying a lot.

But I got past it by being entertained by the actual dances. Then Carrie Ann had to suck whatever joy was left with her stupid insistence on the whole ridiculous lift thing. Clearly, they weren’t trying to do lifts or get away with anything. CLEARLY they were trying to keep their toes on the ground. There was nothing flagrant. And my god, they’ve been doing back flips and jumping rope and everything else because, it’s a TV SHOW, not a professional dance contest. So give it a rest already, Carrie Ann. Sheesh! Man she bugged. You know it’s whack when Uncle Lenny is the kinder, gentler judge. I loved Lenny tonight. (”Listen to Lenny, Jenny.” HA!)

On to the dances…

Jennie Garth totally rocked the night for me. Wow, she’s really come into her own. Loved how she ran over into her husband’s arms when it was over, so excited about nailing his favorite dance. Very cute, those two. She’s so much lovlier when she’s not all stressed out. My favorite of the night. Great choreo from Derek.

Also great was Julianne and Helio. Hard to believe she’s only 19. Beautiful choreo, just like her brother with Jennie, and very lovely to watch.

Loved Marie and Jonathan, loved that she went for the elegant and sexy and held off on the easy camp. I thought it was great.

Jane and Tony were also lovely, but you knew she would nail a waltz. I will say, that, for me, there is something a little boring in Jane’s dances, but she’s so lovely, I forgive.

Edyta and Cam - cripes, just being able to dance AT ALL to that whackball music was worth a high score, but they actually made their paso look good and fun. Cam is really improving and I just love how much fun he’s having. Is it a bad thing that I want him to take off the rest of his shirt?

The Middle of the Road for me…

Maks and Mel. I actually love these two together. Far more than Maks and Laila. I think she’s just the right amount of pushy for him and they really play very well off each other. They did well tonight, too, but the music didn’t help them out either and I wasn’t as excited as I usually am, but not a bad night. I will give large dollars to see Maks with all the Spice Girls next week if they make it through and I can’t imagine they won’t. Also - hi Ashley! Loved that Maks popped over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek on his way back stage. That was Ashley del Grosso, former pro on the show who gets the Worst Contestants Ever. She just got married and had her first baby.

The Ugly…

I’m sorry Floyd, I know how hard you’re trying and I do really respect that, I really really do. But you just can’t keep up with these other folks and whatever breakthrough they’re all talking about I just can’t imagine you ever changing. I’m sorry, but, in comparison to the rest, it’s bottom two again this week. You are doing your best, and Karina is certainly proud of your effort, so you’re not letting her down, but it’s just not going to be good enough.

And Mark, neither will you be. Hard worker, I’ll give him that, but he’s just not going to have it. He’ll go tonight or next week. It’s him and Floyd out 1, 2, this week and next, I presume. After that? Wow, it will be a battle royale every week.

Okay, I’ve saved Sabrina and Mark for last because 30???????? THIRTY????? Clearly I was watching an entirely different dance. The whole time I watched them, I thought, finally, they hit a week where her hard lines and power moves just aren’t going to work, which, being the paso, I thought they would, but man, I thought she was off the entire dance. Instead of shining despite her less than svelte body, I thought this showcased her shorter, stockier frame and in a very unflattering way. I thought the dance was really clunky looking and very heavy-footed and Mark was going way over the top with his fancy moves that made her look even clunkier to me. I was totally prepared for a “nice try, but that just wasn’t your dance, sorry sweetheart” commentary from the judges. So color me shocked when they literally drooled over it. I was just….speechless. Yikes! And then a perfect thirty? Wow.

So, between that and Lift Gate, it was an off night for me, despite some really great performances.

Tonight? Wade Robson thinks he can dance (and can’t wait for that one.) And we get a former champion and competitor coming back - Drew and Cheryl anyone? Who knows!

Also…I did watch Men In Trees. And all I can say is SIGH! Welcome back, show!! Loved it. I thought they did a really good job on sort of synopsizing an entire cast for new viewers. Liked the way they shifted the foundation of Jack and Marin. Loved Cash’s role in the show, hated what his rock said as that didn’t bode well. And does he have like the longest legs ever? Loved the whole rock thing, btw. Loved that we get to finally see whatsername’s son. Justine still can’t act her way out of a paper bag and sucked the joy out of every scene she was in. Man, I hope she goes soon. Loved Patrick, loved Mai, loved Buzz “singing” for her. Just loved. Yay, my show is back! (And for those who missed it, or ahem, SLEPT through it, you can watch it on ABC.com!!)

Don’t forget to enter this week’s ShaQ Attack contest. Details in Monday’s blog post.

Tune in tomorrow for the Boot Night Results!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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What a weekend. It was a blur of work and, uh, work, for me, but I understand it was rather gorgeous and fall-like outside. All I know is that I slept like a baby with my windows cracked open…. Ahhhhh!

Well, that and I got to dream about Cabin Guy. McSteamy, move the heck on ovah! Unfortunately, all I got to do was dream about watching Men In Trees, but it’s sitting in my DVR, awaiting my attention. I would like to petition for another few hours to be added to our days, if no one minds. Who do I see about that, anyway? And elves. They would really come in ever-so-handy for me right now. But, you know, since they went union, it’s impossible to find any really good ones. Seriously.

As promised, however, we will have a glorious SHaQ Attack contest this week. First, I must apologize to our past several SHaQ Winners. I do have books in packaging, WITH names and addresses applied and everything, right in my car! However the time to stand online at my ever-crowded P.O. to ship out of country has eluded me, lo’ these past few weeks. (See: more hours. Elves.) I will make the Big E to get it done this week. Promise! (E = Effort. Not Elf. Unless, of course, Will Ferrell is free, then totally Big Elf all the way.)

For this week’s contest, your mission, Fabulous Blog Babes, if you choose to accept it, is to email me at donna@donnakauffman.com and name the Morgan hero who isn’t a member of the 4-brother Morgan family from my Men of Rogue’s Hollow series.

Oh come on, no whining! I have to throw at least one scavenger hunt in every once in awhile or we couldn’t really call it a SHaQ (Scavenger Hunt Question) Attack now could we? Put “The Other Morgan” as your subject header. I’ll choose the winner of a free book from correct entries on Friday.

Next week we’ll play Pick A Reality Loser! Promise!

In the meantime, Dancing W/ Stars (but not Drew ::pout::) tonight! WOOT! More MAC tomorrow….I hope!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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So, last night on Survivor:China both tribes get their share of Crazy Dave. Fei Long only had to deal with him for two days and I think they’d have voted him off. Loved James…”Man, I told you about all the hugging.” HA!

Loved how they all talked him up at tribal and rolllllled their eyes at Sherea (clearly, TC was heavily edited) and then, whoomp, there it is! Dave? OUT. Unanimously. Loved. It.

Sherea? Now? Would be the time to get your very tired and fatigued ass in gear. Pissing off the tribe? Bad. Doing ANYthing around camp? Good. Consider it.

So, Jim Bob pulls out the Mandarin Chinese on his tribe tonight. Hey, we all have hidden talents. I just wish he’d hide his belly. Under a shirt. In sequester camp. With Dave. And next week? Shearea.

What I love? 50 Pound Courtney? Still in the game. Not that I like her or think she maintains. It just amuses me.

How crazy were the trained fish-catching birds? And psych! They don’t get to keep them. But they got Net Usage 101, so that much is good.

Oh, and Denise the Lunch Lady actually speaks this week! And Erik? Not a mute, either. Always good to know, four weeks into the game.

Who I loved? Frosti. He just makes me smile. Also, Jamie. Amanda. And Surf Instructor’s not too hard on the eyes, either. Next week? Camp Romance a brewin’ between Jamie and Erik. Cute couple. He’s a virgin. She’s not (given her reaction anyway.) This should be fun.

Luckiest player? Todd. He’s like a trust magnet. Now he has the Complete Clue Set. I think it anyone could figure it out, it would be him. Me? I think it’d be freaking hilarious if it ended up being Courtney who finds it. Could be the best tribal council ever. She’s so thin she’s hard to watch, but she’s there. Dave’s not. She outlasts Dave in the game. I laugh and laugh. Good times.

Tonight? The return FINALLLLLLLLY!!!!! of Men in Trees. I couldn’t be happier. More Hot Cabin Guy! More Plow Guy! More Alaska!! I’m in.

And now for this week’s SHaQ Attack winner! All ya had to do was send me an email and lots of you did - I love the enthusiasm!! The winningest Blog Babe this week? Miz Angie T!!! Woo hoo!!!

Have a great weekend! See you Monday with another SHaQ, and another week o’ MAC!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Aren’t they purty? I thought it was time for a facelift. And with the leaves falling, I thought a nice field of flowers was just the thing…and a path that leads to wherever you want to go. Whaddya think?

Well, the guy is here to install my windows THREE HOURS EARLY. But if it gets it done so I can go back to work, yay me!

I will return before noon EST with all the Dancing MAC you can stand!

Until then, I’ll just say….so, last night? AMERICA GOT IT RIGHT!

But there was a lot of wrong, too. More later…

***********************************************

And there was light! And it’s coming through my windows! My NEW, unfogged, windows! It’s been so long since I’ve been able to see out of them, I hardly know how to act.

So, while I’m figuring it out, let’s get to some Dance MAC!

First the good……Wayne goes home!!! Yes, no reason to prolong the announcement.

Also good? Jennie and Derek get the encore performance, which was lovely, both because she so deserved it, and because she got to dance it yet again, live, which could only bolster her confidence. She did really well.
Continued good? Tom. How much can we love him? Not enough, I say.

Okay…the bad. Last night was Drew’s last time hosting. Yes, he’s going on to host some new show with Carrie Ann and Bruno, but he won’t be hosting this show. With Tom. Who he was developing such great rapport with. Doesn’t everybody seem so much more relaxed with Drew in the back room? Cutting up, kidding around? But NO. We get Samantha back. Samantha who means well, but…doesn’t do this job particularly well. I’m so not happy. Where is the petition? I’ll sign it.

Also bad…the way I felt when poor Floyd hit the bottom two again. Karina was good about reassuring him, but you know he feels like he let her down, and himself down, and everyone down. Besides, he was better than bottom two. Cuban should have been there instead. I just want to see Floyd get some payoff, ANY payoff, for how hard he’s working, so he knows he can get more out of this. He deserves that much, even if I don’t think he has a big breakthrough in him. His hunched boxer posture will be the end of him….but he deserved better than that for how hard he worked.

Of course, so did Albert.

Now…the ugly. Seal’s white pants. The man is structured kind of differently, but not badly. Those pants, however, were absolutely horrid on him. And his singing? Really not made for live television. It’s too soft and stylized and scratchy to translate well in that medium. But hey, he didn’t lip sync. I’ll give him that much.

On the other hand, Billy Ray did lip sync, but I rather enjoyed watching him and his daughter, Miley, together. I thought it was pretty cool seeing father and daughter perform, especially given I remember when he was just the fresh, new achy breaky bad boy on the scene, lo those many years ago when I was also fresher. Kinda cool seeing him as a proud dad. And she’s adorable, with a pretty good voice. Loved how she called Karina over for a big hug after the song was over. (Clever song, too. I liked it. And Karina and Maks? Swoon! They make a great pair. Always do.)

Okay…so we have Mark and Floyd probably going home in the next two weeks. Then? Wow, it’s anybody’s guess. You have the techincal stars, like Sabrina and Helio, but equally entertaining stars like Marie and Jane. And then you have the dark horses, Jennie and Cam. It’s crazy this year. But good crazy!

Don’t forget to enter the SHaQ Attack contest this week. It’s crazy easy. See Tuesday’s entry for details.

Happy Hump Day, y’all!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. Can they turn off the heat now, though? I’m in Virginia. It should never be 90 degrees in the middle of October in Virginia. Just sayin…

So, last night on DWTS…another fun show! And, you can’t know how much I love typing this….Louis!!!!

Ahem. My impressions of the night, in no particular order…

Mark and Sabrina open with a jive that was fast and furious. I know she’s a ringer, and way better than anyone else in the technical department, and perhaps she could back away from the perky pills, but I really enjoy watching these two. So I don’t care.

Who did Cameron piss off in the music department? Everyone else - everyone!- got decent tango music. Cam and Edyta? Get Sonny and Cher. No, I am not making that up. The Beat Goes On? Honestly? How in the hell were they supposed to be smoldering and steamy to that???? I give them kudos just for trying. And I honestly thought Cam did a great job, all things considered. I don’t think Edyta’s choreo is brilliant, but again….Sonny and Cher??? Loved the opening Clark Kent thing - I thought it was cute that they played to Bruno’s comments last week. Loved that. Then the music started. Sheesh.

Jane’s segment was so emotional. She did wonderfully, and though their tango wasn’t the most technically difficult, given what she had to go through last week, it’s amazing she got through any of it, and I thought she did wonderfully with what she had. Kudos to Tony for being such a supportive partner. He seems to do well with women in need of emotional support. (Sara.) Yes, she was overscored, but as she wasn’t anywhere near the list of Who Should Go Home tonight, it didn’t matter in the big scheme of things, and was really a sweet thing to do, all things considered.

Floyd has the cutest smile ever, and he’s certainly trying really hard, I will give him that. He went for his jive. But his posture is still really clunky for me and I’m not sure I see the potential in him everyone else does, but I do admire his work ethic and dedication to this. Wonder how he’d do with someone other than Karina. Just curious. Oh,and way to plug the pay per view, Floyd.

And Drew? Just gets better every week. The dancers certainly play off him much better. Please stay home and play with the baby, Sam.

Jennie and Derek were great this week - what a comeback! Oh, loved the fake fall before the commercial break. That was the perfect antidote to them showing the two of them falling slo mo about a million times. Very cute. She totally went for broke in their tango and I thought Derek really pushed her with the choreo…all in all, excellent night for the two of them. I hope this gives her that much needed confidence boost. And didn’t you love how excited everyone was for her in the back room? I thought it was great when they all jumped up to hug her. It really seems like a great group this year - but then I think they band together every season. I love seeing that part. Like they’re all at dance camp or something.

I know Marie can be a love/hate thing for most people. I happen to love her. A lot. The music they got was beyond perfect for her, and Jonathan choreographed it beautifully. She sold it without oversellng it - and that last move? She’s got all my admiration for that one! I think she’s having a blast out there and is definitely giving it her all. She’s not slender and agile, and yet she really does what she can with what she’s got. I find her dances are always in the memorable category for me. I loved that they got to close the show tonight.

Mark and Kym - is it just me or is he like super skinny now? And I hurt just watching them dance. I feel for him and that hip. I just don’t like him as a dancer. Sorry, Mark! All the credit in the world for how hard you work and push yourself, but you’re on my Needs To Go short list.

But who needs to go more than Mark? All together now….Wayne! My god, the pornstache and faux-nytail? (tm TWOP) Shudder. And poor Cheryl, who was not the utmost professional with her essentially saying farewell in the backroom chat with Drew, but come on, the poor girl! Can you blame her? Loved Drew’s pornstache! Please, for the love of all that is dance, send the man home tonight.

Mel and Maks - I am really enjoying these two together. I think they have great chemistry and he’s definitely getting the best from her. I thought their jive was really good and technically difficult. I thought she really did well with the posture of the dance. Didn’t think her dress was all that flattering - her figure is great, especially considering she has a very new baby at home. So help her out stoned costume people! Maks with no shirt. Need I say more? And Tom? Best line of the night. Also, I laughed out loud when Mel was all over Tom after their dance and he was just flustered and pretended he’d lost all of his lines. Way cute. My Tom Love knows no bounds.

And whoever the two were, I forget now, who did the sprinkler as a shout out to Albert before a commercial break? I love them forever. (I know, I think one was Wayne, but that? He gets points for.)

So, Helio and Julianne. You know I love her, and he’s adorable, but it seems like she’s really gunning for the win. I know he pushes himself hard, too, but I’m worried they are trying too hard to compete with Cheetah Girl and he’s going to pay with a long term foot injury. And, tonight, knee injury. Ouch!! And color me surprised, given how they went onnnnn and onnnn with Derek and Jennie’s fall last week, that we didn’t get hammered with repetitive slo mo replays of their final knee busting move. I love these two, but, though still good, tonight was not my favorite effort. I just felt they were trying too hard.

In recap: lots of high scores tonight. And, I don’t care. The one who should be scored low was Wayne and he was scored accordingly. And Floyd was right behind him. Though I’d probably put Mark in that same zone. Hopefully two from that group will be bottom two and Wayne will ride off into the sunset tonight. Cross fingers, America!

Oh yeah, edited to add….tonight? Seal!!! Squee!!

Now….for this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. No reality show guesses, no scavenger hunts. It’s a short week, so all ya gotta do is send me an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “Pick Me!!!” in the subject line. (No, I will not count how many exclamation points you use, but enthusiasm is encouraged. !! ) One winner will be chosen from all entries and score a free book. Winner announced in Friday’s blog.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Tags: Writing by Donna
9 Comments »

Um, EW!!!

Jeff Probst, TMI, dude, TMI. And Dave, really? Because why, man? Just…why?

It’s a toss up as to who I’d rather boot sooner, Dave or John Robert (aka Jim-Bob.) Jim “I have to be warm” Bob groping the women at night was just foul, not to mention incredibly invasive, even for this game. And yet, Dave is just so…loathesome, it’s still a toss up. Which is saying a lot about just how loathesome a guy he is.

The physical challenge for reward wasn’t all that entertaining to watch. Too many people in their underwear on television who should never just be in underwear, possibly even in the privacy of their own home, but now where I have to see them, in sticky hot weather, soaking wet and malnourished…yeah, that’s entertainment right there. NOT. Ew. Squared.

But who do I still love? Sweet James. Not only did he look perfectly fiiiiiiiiine, in his skivvies, his whole dissertation about his Barnes & Noble Survivor research trip? Golden. Ha!!

Zhan Hu, aka the Loser Tribe, wins their first challenge and gets soft stuff to sleep on and a tarp to keep dry (best reward by far in the far too soggy place.) They also get to kidnap Leslie. Which I thought was odd - why not take James away from the other tribe for a bit, make them do their own damn work. Plus, Leslie already knows about the clue, since Jamie gave it to her…hmm…..

Leslie bonds with the happier tribe (well, they just WON, of course they’re perky and playful now) and then, then it happens. My Sweet James love comes to a grinding halt. No. That’s just unfair, Survivor Producers. Can nothing be sacred? James and Jim-Bob, picking on Leslie and Courtney. So wrong and juvenile. I wanted to think him above stuff like that. Of course Jim-Bob? Nothing surprising there. My disgust couldn’t be any greater.

However, yay, Wee Todd! I liked his protective posture for Courtney. And while I’m not ready to see James leave quite yet, I would looooooovvveee J-Bob to be summarily booted out on his please-dear-god-put-a-shirt-on ass.

And then Courtney completely blows the immunity challenge as the most ineffectual player possibly ever (it was to her credit she hung in there, and to their credit they caught up at all!) and now, even I know she should go before a much stronger, if still a total pig, Jim-Bob. So unfair!! And yet, who would you want fighting in the next challenge for you? Ewww, but yeah.

Except they go and vote off Leslie, which, yeah, a definite threat at the merge, but a unifier at the moment, which your grade-school mentality tribe could use a little of. (Look it up, J-B!) On the plus side, Todd is surely happy Leslie shared that HII clue with him, isn’t he?

I would have thought Zhan Hu was the weaker tribe (Dave!) but it’s looking like Fei Long is definitely more toxic. I hope they can turn it around. But at least it seems more balanced this season now. No Pagong-ing, thank goodness. But still with too much Dave and Jimmy-B. The weeks they go home? Most satisfying. Bet on it.

Now, time for fun! SHaQ Attack contest this week asked you to name the winner of Top Chef. Hung took home the victory and a number of Blog Babes wisely threw votes his way. But there can only be one winner, and that winner is…..Darla Ray! Woo hoo!!

Hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend! Tune in Tuesday for some Dance MAC and a new SHaQ Attack contest!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Well, not Casey! At least not like I wanted her to. She certainly gave her all in this series and wowed a lot of very well known chefs, but her last challenge, prepared in the extreme altitudes of Aspen, did her in. Which leaves Hung and Dale, duking it out for the title of Top Chef. It goes without saying that I want Dale to win. Each chef gets a famous chef as sous for their prep, which is something I really, really enjoyed. CJ, Sara, and Howie (Howie????) come back to help on the final day, and Brian (MALARKEY!) is one of the final table of judges.

I also liked how the final meal was done, with each dish of a four course meal being presented side by side with their competitors, for a true comparison. I hope they continue to do that.

In the end, it’s a dead tie between Hung and Dale, each with two courses they rocked. However, Dale had one dish that really missed the mark, while Hung only had a dessert dish that, while technically fine, wasn’t inspired.

And yes, Hung is named the winner. You do see how very badly he wants this, probably more than anyone else, but you also see how incredibly insufferable this will make him to be around, pretty much forever. But it is well deserved, he was consistently very, very good.

Fortunately, I feel Dale and Casey will both benefit from their experience on the show as well, and that’s a good thing to take away from it. I will say, that if I had to pick one chef on the show whose restaurant I’d be most excited to eat in, it would be Dale’s. I hope he finds a place to land and make a name for himself. And I hope someday I get to eat there.

So…for all of you who voted for Hung….you’re in the running for the SHaQ Attack prize, which will be announced tomorrow, along with some Survivor MAC!

Now I need to go cleanse my palate with some really good Dirty Sexy Money….

Oh, and did anyone watch the new, quirky show, Pushing Daisies? I think I’m the only one who sort of kind of thought it would have made a better movie, if made a bit longer, but will wear really thin, really fast as a weekly series. I’m sure its the romance writer in me, but a series where he will never, ever be allowed to touch his one true love? Ever? Forever? Yeah, that’s going to wear on me… But how adorable is Lee Pace? And Chi McBride slays me. But…I might give this one a pass. Sort of like I did after about a half dozen or so Ugly Betty episodes… So far, my favorite guilty pleasure is still DSM. And Peter Krause. Yum.

Tags: Writing by Donna
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No fair taking Man Candy Jr away when we still had Fun Old Guy in the contest, people! What’s wrong with America anyway?

So, we had Tom and Drew being cute and funny, and Queen Latifah singing classics while very lovely people quickstepped, then very…different people tangoed (not the guys, they were fine, but did anyone think the women weren’t all that sexy? Something was just off about them and they came off really hard-edged to me. Maybe it was the costumes? Not sure, but it was so distracting and so not sexy because of it, I had a hard time watching.)

Then we find out that poor Jane Seymour’s mom passed away, sending her back to England. She will remain in the contest and did make it through to next week. Also making it through was everyone except Albert/Anna and Cheryl/Wayne. And poor Albert is up there dancing and being funny, when WHAM, it’s you buddy, you’re going home. He was really stunned and you could see he couldn’t really even absorb it, given, you know WAYNE was standing next to him, CLEARLY the Guy Going Home tonight. But no. Even Cheryl didn’t know how to react, because you know she’s thinking “Oh great, now I have to teach this guy ANOTHER dance he can’t do.”

Maybe they really do have Muppets tallying the scores….it would certainly explain Master P staying as long as he did. Also, this just in: Supermodel Warning!! Paulina out first last year, then Josie first this season, Albert second…gee, I’m guessin’ the models won’t be lining up to be chopped down next season! Oh, who am I kidding, of course they will.

So, a whole hour of filler, but they’re running long on time, and it’s LIIIIIIIIIIIVE! so Albert is sort of shoved onto the dance floor and bang, it’s over. Not that he was going to win, but he was fun (Dude! Duuuuude! I thought that was funny.) and not hard to look at. Instead we get to keep Wayne around. And I know he’s a legend, but really? Not a dancer. In fact, less of a dancer than pretty much anyone on the show, including Floyd. Even Mark managed to stay in the game this week. Seriously. Wrong.

In other more fun and entertaining news! Don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. You have until 10pm EST tonight. See Monday’s post for details. Good luck!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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Introductions and we get to see all the dancers tonight - yay! (Except - ack! It was a lot easier to MAC when they split this up over two nights.) So, we meet all the couples again, and I was afraid Stoner Wardrobe Dresser Dude had lost it all on Edyta’s uh, outfit…until I saw Cheryl’s. My god. How many little bunny foo foo’s were sacrificed to make that thing? Yikes.

Up first is Maks & Melanie - they get the quick step and wow, do they do a good job. Not only did she pick up the very difficult general quickstep choreo, but it seemed to me that Maks really pushed the routine to include some pretty tricky steps. I wish the judges would have given him some credit there, but they were exceedingly generous with Melanie - well deserved. That was great. And I am liking the chemistry between Maks and Mel. His playfulness at the end, spinning her around to bow, was too cute. Scores - 7, 8, 8 = 23. (Okay, Drew FINALLY cracks me up with his Spice Girl “Give her what she wants, what she really really wants” break. Spot on, Drew!)

Next up is Mark Cuban & Kym. It pains me to say this, but the younger looking, goatee-free Mark is looking kinda buff in his sleeveless shirt. They get the mambo and to his credit, the man has a work ethic that’s impressive. He really wants this, and it’s nice to see he’s willing to do what it takes to get it. Definitely nothing entitled about this billionaire. (Last season they made me like Jerry Springer. Now this. I hate you a little bit DWTS producers!) He totally sells it, despite having a little hitch in his giddyup due to the fake hip. Did it wow? Not so much. Definitely a good effort, though. Wow, Uncle Lenny has taken his happy pills. He gives Mark credit for the hard work (and his scores haven’t always been the grumpy low scores so far. Carrie Ann.) And Batty Bruno is back! Scores this time? 6, 6, 6 = 18. Which is fair.

Tom (hi Tom!!) announces a line up of musical guests this year that include Avril Lavigne, Seal, and Queen Latifah for starters. And Wade Robson from SYTYCD! Woot! What a season this is shaping up to be.

Next we get Cheryl and Wayne who get the quickstep and Wayne certainly tries. He just isn’t all that great, and it looks like Cheryl has accepted her fate. I wish they hadn’t given her Fun Old Guy, but what can you do? So they manage to get through the dance, and Wayne, while charming, is no George Hamilton, or Jerry Springer, and they get 5, 5, 5 for 15, which is right, comparatively speaking. Sorry, Cheryl! We miss your real choreo!

Now on to the next couple - Jonny & Marie. They get the mambo and I loved every single second. She totally goes for it, and was she the best dancer? No. But she was much better than I expected and the two of them are so ridiculously cute out there. So much fun, and so infectious, I grinned like a loon the whole time. The audience loses their collective minds as well, and it’s just the highlight of the night for me. (Hi Donny! Hi Jimmy!) Man, Osmonds everywhere! The judges love her, too, and for sheer entertainment value, they totally owned the 8, 8, 8 = 24 they were awarded.

Okay, Drew is doing SO much better backstage. The Drew we loved from his winning season is back. Samantha, don’t you want to stay home and play with your new baby? Say, for the next couple of months anyway?

Albert & Anna are next, with the quickstep. He is dedicating this one to his ballroom dancing late grandfather, which is very sweet. It also saves him somewhat, as the dance wasn’t all that great, but the sentiment was, so we forgive. As do the judges, who award them a very nice 7,7,7 = 21. Backstage is cute. Oh, Anna, we missed you.

Julianne and Helio take the stage with a mambo that is just blistering. After seeing the beating he took in practice, it’s wonderful to see how effortless these two make dancing look. She has such great choreo and Helio is so clearly absolutely loving every single second. How joyful was he when he nailed his performance? Not an arrogant, cocky bone in his cute little Latin body. I just love these two. Easily the best dance of the night, which will likely always be the case in this competition. (Although for sheer entertainment, I still loved Marie’s even more. Man, I’m still grinning over that one.) Judges give them their due - and they get a much deserved 9, 9, 9 = 27.

It’s Jenny & Derek’s turn, and boy, she looks more nervous than last week. They get the quickstep, and look lovely together, and she really does a nice job with ballroom - until that last part where Derek slips and they both fall. Such a shame! I have to wonder if she was really hurt there, because she never manages a smile after that. Not sure if she was in pain, or just too mortified to get over it. I felt really sorry for her, because a lot of the routine looked really good. The judges are very kind to them both. Scores - 7, 7, 7 = 21. Which was kind, but deserving, minus that slip.

Edyta and Cam are next with a mambo, and I think they both did really well - and looked even better! I was surprised the judges weren’t more enthusiastic, but I think it’s because it’s clear he can do a lot, so they are pushing him to be even better. He’s not Helio, but he’s great to watch. Tall, dark, and dashing - probably the best pairing with Edyta in all the seasons so far. Very enjoyable. They get a 7, 7, 7 = 21 - which, to be honest I thought it was better than that. Drew backstage is definitely getting his funny on. Amazing how much better he is this week.

Karina and Floyd get the quickstep and I was worried to see him tackle such a hard dance, but, as before, he really does work hard and try very hard to please his instructor. You have to give it to him for that. It wasn’t, perhaps, as entertaining as last week, but kudos for getting through a tough dance, Floyd! The judges are accurate in their assessment and give both kudos and critiques. Scores - 7, 7, 7 = 21.

Next is Jane & Tony with their mambo, and it was the most elegant mambo you’ll ever see, but I thought it was lovely, if a bit slow and methodical. Still, how great does she look in that tiny dress at 56? Damn! Judges could be kinder, but they give them 7, 7, 7 = 21 as well.

Last up for the night is Sabrina and Mark with their quickstep, and you know, for a little fireplug of a girl, she can move like nobody’s business. I think that’s such a great role model kick for girls/women of all ages to see, that I have to like her a little bit more this week. She does work hard, and the two of them are cute. The choreo in this is very tricky and I didn’t get Uncle Lenny’s criticism about balance at all as I think they are totally playing to their strength. Loved it. A well deserved 9, 8, 9 = 26. Should have been 27, but Len’s happy pills wore off. It’s a no brainer to pick Helio and Sabrina as the final two celebs in this season’s contest, but boy will it be fun watching them get there!

Can’t wait for next week!! In the meantime, who will go home tonight? Well, if there is any fairness in this thing, it better be Wayne, as no one else was really that bad. Sorry, Cheryl! We’ll miss you, but hopefully get to see you dance for real in the pro dance segments!! If it’s not Wayne, then maybe Floyd, but he’s working so hard, I think he deserves at least another week. Oh yeah, I forgot about Mark Cuban. Yep, very possible he might be the one to go!

Discuss!

And don’t forget to enter this week’s SHaQ Attack contest. See Monday’s post for details. (Remember, you’re picking the winner this week, not the loser!)

Tags: Writing by Donna
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So, remember how last Monday I was all aglow from a weekend of sports superiority? Yeah, well, oh, how the mighty have fallen! It started with West Virginia losing a ridiculously poorly played game against South Florida, then my son’s lacrosse team got their sticks handed to them by some very large boys from a county or two south of here (what do they feed them anyway?) - although he did score the only goal for his team, so one tiny beam of light in an otherwise painfully full contact kind of day - then My Football Boyfriend Ben and his Steelers literally threw away a game against the Cardinals. It’s a good thing Washington had a bye week, because with my luck, if they’d played, it wouldn’t have been pretty. Thank god I don’t gamble.

But, it’s a shiny new week and that means a shiny new SHaQ Attack contest! This week we’re going to play Pick The Top Chef. (Hey, it was that or make you hunt for some arcane piece of information on a book I wrote ten years ago that would have made you crazy.) I know some of you don’t watch, but it’s down to three, so you’ve got a 33.33333% chance! (Math! On Monday!) And if you want to catch up, they are marathoning the whole season all day Wednesday leading up to the finale. Bravo network. The home of Our Tim Gunn. Be there.

So…Dale? Casey? Or Hung? (And really, it’s a shame I can’t go with Option 3, as that seems the obvious choice for a romance writer….but, alas, there are times when being Hung is not a Good Thing.)

But I’m rooting for Casey first, partly because she’s earned it, partly because we babes have to stick together, and lastly because a women needs to win this at least once in a while! Dale gets my second choice vote. And Hung…doesn’t.

So, you have until Wednesday night at 10:00pm EST to send your vote in. If no one gets it right, everyone who votes gets a chance, to take one already! Send your votes to donna@donnakauffman.com with “What’s Cookin?” in the subject line. I’ll announce the winner Friday morning. Winning Blog Babe gets a signed book from my website bookshelf.

Happy Monday…and Good Luck!

Tags: Writing by Donna
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