Okay, so yes, I watched DWTS, asking myself pretty much the entire time why…..WHY? Sure, the DVR cuts it down to like, half the time, and yet, that’s still an hour of my life I can never get back.
So, last night was Dancing to the Movies Night! To say it was a night of uneven performances is like saying that everyone wasn’t completely, ridiculously gaga that Cher was in the audience. Now, I do like that so many of the celeb dancer’s families come out to support them (both Arquette sisters there tonight, along with the everpresent Courtney Cox) as well as a number of former contestants always sprinkled through the audience. But, in some cases, like last night, you kinda cringe for them, too, when they don’t do as well and you know the fam is right there witnessing the downfall.
One thing I also realized last night was that, I always thought I was in it more for the dancers who start out choppy and with no experience and sort of go from duckling to swan in front of our very eyes. This season….well, we have a lotta ducklings, is what I’m sayin. It’s just…that swan transformation isn’t so much happening. At least…not all that much. I mean, I’m amazed they can do even part of what they do given the tight time frame, the pressure, the scrutiny….but even those with some natural talent, like Chynna, and, previously, Kristin, really seem to kind of stay on that same plane. I get that they’re doing harder dances each week, so it might seem like the skill set isn’t improving, where the improvement was just that they could even do that caliber of dance now, where they couldn’t have two weeks ago. But, bottom line…it’s not making for a very interesting show.
Last night Chynna went blank during the routine — total nightmare moment for any performer - and Tony injured himself, and while you felt for them both, it was a prescient opening to a show that stayed rocky and uneven. So was the judging! Overall, Len was so harsh, but then he’d add something nice at the end, which no one heard over all the booing. I kept wanting to tell him…lead with the nice thing, then tell them where to work on it. Carrie Ann was all over the place, and…well, to be honest, I fast forward through Bruno now. So that wasn’t at all helping the “fun factor” of the night.
I also thought it was odd and kinda pointless to have the troupe doing a few numbers on performance night. I can only assume they added this completely needless filler in order to set up the next dance, or something (with it being movie night, there were tons of stage props…) But, even then, it was like “let’s show you just how much BETTER this could be if they could really dance!” And…..now back to the crappy stuff. I just didn’t think it was right, or fair to the already stressed out performers. Save that stuff for results night.
So…all that said…. My utter favorite delight of the night was, hands down, Carson Kressley as a pirate. I mean, they made him look really hot! Carson. Kressley. Hot. I’m so not kidding. The rehearsal footage with Amazing Sword Guy was hilarious. Then the dance went horribly askew as their tossed aside swords rolled back under their feet and Carson kind of forgot the dance…but I DID NOT CARE. Smiled and laughed through the whole thing. I wish, for him, always, that he danced better. But speaking for my entertainment? Not a requirement. And Anna is such a great partner for him. I can’t remember the days when she was the bitchy redhead. She’s totally delightful.
Felt bad for Chynna, was….not wanting to see Nancy Grace in biker shorts, pretty dress or no….thought the idea of Hope and Maks‘ Toy Story dance was super cute, but Hope remains kinda clunky, though she’s trying hard not to be. She’s a jock in heels whose just more jock than heels, is all. Not sure what the whole Len tirade was about afterward, but that was just another bump in a very rocky performance road. Ricki and Derek were really great, did like their dance very much. His choreo skills really shine when he has a partner he has to work to make look good. Not that Ricki’s not pulling her share, she is, way more than I thought, but he still works more creatively and less showboaty when he doesn’t have the ringer partner. I’m not sure the 10’s were warranted, but what the hell! The whole night was so wackadoo anyway. And better them than some of the other teams. The choreo alone, to such awful, awful music (really Stoner Music Guy..the theme from Psycho?? Really???) So I was kinda glad that Derek sort of in-your-faced it. Because that was a really sucky luck of the draw.
In other news, Kardashian is still out there shaking his moneymaker, but it always looks like Cheryl is trying really hard not to seduce her baby brother, though she has to pretend she is. It’s kinda…..squicky. But that’s possibly just me. Or, you know…not. Chaz closed the show and while his dancing shows skills improvement every single week, I just get sucked in by his total commitment to every dance he does. He definitely has his mom/dad’s performance genes all through him. But what really wowed me was that, after a super energetic dance, he raced up that long flight of stars - R-A-C-E-D- to finish with the Rocky pose. That his bad knees even allowed that, much less that he had the stamina for it, boggled me…but in a really good way. I don’t get the same kind of joy from him that I do from watching Carson, because Carson so completely owns exactly who he is and what he brings to the show - but I feel very much that protective “root for the underdog” feeling for them both. No way are either of them going home tonight.
Now…lastly…I continue to not get, AT ALL, why there isn’t more universal judge love for JR Martinez. Clearly the best dancer, and by far the best male dancer….he also has everything else going for him as well. He’s charming, self deprecating, funny, humble, dashing…. I was glad to see Len, who I was really beginning to wonder about where JR is concerned, show up in his corner for a change. But, overall, it really stymies me how they gush over just about everyone, but not so much with him. And it’s not like he’s got a superstar fanbase carrying him and they have to mitigate his dominance. Not by any stretch. I’m thankful that the audience gives them the love, because I have loved and been charmed by every one of his performances, then get total buzzkill from the judges. I admire him for coming back each week with that same sunny smile and disposition.
For me, JR and Carson are the only reasons I keep tuning in. Carson for the smiles, and JR because it’s joyful watching him dance. I really really really wish they’d give Carson Brooke’s job. OMG, it would be the Best Backstage Chatter ever!
So….what say you, Blog Babes? Still watching? Who do you love? Who needs to go home tonight? And did you watch Castle? I like how they’re subtly weaving back in the end of last season, with her twinge over surgery and the resurfaced question as to her memory of that day. Liked the emotional nature of the storyline that wasn’t about her mother for a change, but another team member instead. Good Castle Night. 
And tonight we get another house with Mark Harmon….so all is right with my world….
And yes, despite the short holiday week, we are having a Free Stuff Friday Contest!! To enter, send an email to donna@donnakauffman.com with “Pick me!” in the subject line. I’ll draw a name and announce it in Friday’s blog…winner gets a signed book from my website bookshelf!
So, enter already! Then come back here and DISH!!
Tags: Writing by Donna
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